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      James Corden Announces He’s Leaving Late Night

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      Corden made an emotional address on Thursday night, saying he never wanted to overstay his welcome.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.One More YearJames Corden announced on Thursday that he would be leaving “The Late Late Show” in 2023 after eight years.“When I started this journey, it was always going to be just that — it was going to be a journey, an adventure. I never saw it as my final destination, you know?” Corden said. “And I never want this show to overstay its welcome in any way. I always want to love making it, and I really think in a year from now, that will be a good time to move on and see what else might be out there.”“We still have a year to go, and we are all determined to make this the best year we have ever had making this show. We are going to go out with a bang; there is going to be ‘Carpools’ and ‘Crosswalks’ and sketches and other surprises.” — JAMES CORDEN“And there will be tears; there will be so many tears. Because this has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. It really has. I’ve never taken this job for granted, ever, not once. And if you — the fact that you watch us at home or you watch us online, wherever you are, all over the world, the fact that we get to try to entertain you and spend time with you is an absolute privilege for me and every single person who makes this show. Here’s to the next 12 months, and it’s going to be a blast, I promise you that.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Rotten Tomatoes Edition)“In newly released excerpts from a deposition taken last year, former President Trump said that he was worried that protesters might throw fruits and vegetables at him. This is just more proof that Trump only thinks in cartoons.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s like the homeland security threat level: red’s tomato, yellow’s for banana, and green is for avocado. And you know what they say if you get hit with an avocado: You’re toast.” — SETH MEYERS“I will say this — he’s not wrong about being hit with a pineapple being dangerous, you know? I mean that’s got spikes built in. And the banana, too. It might not seem dangerous, but remember, someone throws a banana, it comes right back at them.” — TREVOR NOAH“You know what I think is the worst fruit to get hit with? A honeydew. Yeah, no, not because it’s hard; just because you can get some of it in your mouth, and that [expletive] is disgusting. I hope it hits me in the head and kills me so I don’t have to taste it.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Thursday’s “Tonight Show,” Christina Ricci responded to fan theories about her Showtime hit, “Yellowjackets.”Also, Check This OutA scene from “Sheryl,” which arrives on Showtime on May 6.ShowtimeSheryl Crow tells her story of battling sexism in the music industry and personal darkness in the new Showtime documentary “Sheryl.” More

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      Trevor Noah Backs Trump’s Returning to Twitter for One Reason Only

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      Noah joked that he just “really wants to see” the former president’s Wordle scores.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.More Hot TakesLate night continued to weigh in on Tuesday night on Elon Musk’s deal to purchase Twitter.Trevor Noah joked that the news set off “a wave of takes so hot, they burned off my eyebrows and I had to draw them back on.”“But one of the biggest takes came from former Twitter C.E.O. Jack Dorsey, who gave Musk his stamp of approval saying, ‘I trust his mission to extend the lights of consciousness.’ And I’ll be honest, people, I have no idea what that means, but Jack’s clearly on that billionaire speak.” — TREVOR NOAH“Well, I feel a lot better knowing that Twitter wasn’t in great hands before.” — SETH MEYERS“All jokes aside, Jack Dorsey is a great guy, and I wish him a safe journey back to his home planet.” — TREVOR NOAH“Yep, Musk says he’s going to bring back free speech to Twitter. It’s a big deal, because if it’s true, it means we’ll finally be able to talk about Bruno.” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, some people are worried that Musk will have a negative impact on Twitter. Yes, compared to the absolute paradise it’s been all along.” — JIMMY FALLONHosts wondered if Donald Trump might rejoin the app now that Musk will be at the helm, despite the former president’s claim he’ll instead remain on his own platform, Truth Social.“You know, he claims he won’t go back on Twitter, but he 100 percent will go back on Twitter, and then this dumb new company he conned everybody out of their money for will become, I guess, the social media equivalent of a Radio Shack — a Radio Shack that is run by Devin Nunes.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, so Truth Social is competition for Twitter the same way that guy on the plane was competition for Mike Tyson.” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, it doesn’t bode well that Trump himself has only posted on Truth Social one time ever. Yeah, and that was two months ago. Think about how crazy that is, people — when he was on Twitter, Trump would send out, what, like 50 tweets every time he went to the bathroom? Now he hasn’t posted for two months. Somebody needs to get this guy prune juice fast!” — TREVOR NOAH“I’ll be honest, though, the only reason I would want Trump back on Twitter, the only reason, because — I know, yes, it would probably lead to another term and it would destroy the country — but I just, I just really want to see his Wordle scores.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Keep Them Separated Edition)“Today, it was announced that Vice President Kamala Harris has tested positive for Covid-19. Yeah, President Biden told her to take her time recovering. He was like, ‘When I was V.P., I was gone for two years and nobody even noticed.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Thankfully, Harris is feeling good and will remain isolated just like she has since taking office.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, the White House said that Harris has been nowhere near Biden for over a week, which pretty much tells you all you need to know about that relationship.” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t know, did they have a fight over a jelly bean? Why haven’t they seen each other in eight days?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers tackled Tucker Carlson and Tom Brady in Tuesday’s “Back in My Day” segment on “Late Night.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe B-52’s will perform on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live” ahead of the band’s farewell tour.Also, Check This Out“I wanted to go out with a beautiful bang,” said Pamela Adlon, who co-created the FX series “Better Things.” The show draws heavily from her own life.OK McCausland for The New York TimesPamela Adlon bids a bittersweet adieu to her semi-autobiographical show, “Better Things.” More

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      Late Night Celebrates 4/20

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      “Time for all you doobie-lovin’ potheads to get up to your usual smoky high jinks: folding laundry and hoping half a gummy will help you fall asleep,” Stephen Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Total Smoke ShowLate Night celebrated 4/20 on Wednesday, or what Stephen Colbert referred to as “the unofficial holiday for marijuana.”“Time for all you doobie-lovin’ potheads to get up to your usual smoky high jinks: folding laundry and hoping half a gummy will help you fall asleep,” Colbert joked in his monologue.“This year is a big one for 4/20, because new polling shows 37 percent of Americans say they use weed, while the remaining 63 percent say they were just holding it for a friend.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to a new poll from CBS News, a vast majority of Americans want the federal government to legalize cannabis for recreational purchases. Sixty-six percent are in favor, 34 percent no. Sixty-six percent of Americans don’t agree on anything. We can barely get 66 percent of Americans to agree that horse medicine is for horses.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you smoke, obviously, you want it to be legal. But even among those who say they never use marijuana, a majority favor legalization. Well, that makes sense. Marijuana is tame compared to other controlled substances — its most dangerous side effect is making hacky sack seem like a sport.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Oddly enough, tomorrow, the sale of recreational weed will begin in New Jersey, one day after 4/20. I mean, really? That’s like Chipotle offering free guac on Seis de Mayo, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“That is exciting news, but it means New Yorkers will have to do the unthinkable: Drive to New Jersey on purpose.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Just be careful, people from New Jersey, because if you smoke too much weed, you might accidentally ‘fuhgeddaboud’ a bunch of important stuff you need to do.” — JAMES CORDEN“The move is overwhelmingly supported by state residents, who can now look forward to Jersey-specific strains like Jon ‘Bong’ Jovi, Bruce ‘Springstrain,’ ‘Joint’ Stewart and, of course, ‘Stoney’ Soprano’s ‘Ganjagool’.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Are You Still Watching? Edition)“Netflix just announced that for the first time in over a decade, they lost subscribers, and now their stock is crashing. Yeah, not only did their stock plummet, but it turns out that all the cash they had in the bank was just cake.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today, their stock price dropped over 35 percent after they announced they had lost 200,000 subscribers. That’s a lot. Explains why they’ve changed their pop-up message from ‘Are you still watching?’ to ‘Come back, please! I can change! Do you want DVDs again?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Damn, Netflix is in trouble, which is so surprising because me and the 43 people I share my account with, we’re still watching it all the time.” — TREVOR NOAH“Now, now, there are many reasons why Netflix subscriptions are down, all right? Password sharing, inflation, Regé-Jean Page leaving ‘Bridgerton.’ Yeah, I’m sorry, you want us to pay 15 bucks a month without that [expletive]? I don’t think so.” — TREVOR NOAH“Right now Netflix is so desperate for money, they’re now Googling ‘Is there a real-life “Squid Game”’?” — JIMMY FALLON“Netflix is blaming their losses on fierce competition, inflation and Russia. When he heard that, President Biden was like, ‘Hey, get your own excuses.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Netflix is losing money — you can tell it’s having an effect on all of their shows. For instance, ‘Emily in Paris’ is now ‘Emily in Pittsburgh.’ It’s still good. Also, ‘The Crown’ is now ‘The Hat.’”— JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingRonny Chieng, “The Daily Show” correspondent, gave the public the task of convincing him of Earth Day’s worth in this week’s “Prove Me Wrong.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightChloë Sevigny, star of “The Girl From Plainville” and “Russian Doll,” will sit down with Seth Meyers on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutNicolas Cage as “Nick Cage” in “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.” He said, “I feel closer to my muse and my instrument now than I ever have.”Sinna Nasseri for The New York TimesNicolas Cage plays a meme-ified version of himself in “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.” More

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      Late Night Condemns Florida’s Ban on Math Books for ‘Prohibited Topics’

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      Trevor Noah joked that he wished math text books had critical race theory so “we could have solved racism by cheating and going to the back of the book.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not Adding UpThe state of Florida announced a ban on a number of proposed math textbooks for students because of their references to critical race theory or other “prohibited topics.”On Monday’s “Daily Show,” Trevor Noah said that it was strange for C.R.T. to show up in math books, but that he liked the idea of it.“Yeah, because then we could have solved racism by cheating and going to the back of the book with all the answers in it, you know?” Noah joked.“This official censorship isn’t just affecting history class, because this weekend we learned that Florida rejected 41 percent of new math textbooks. At least they think it’s 41 percent. For some reason, they suck at math.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Math textbooks would be the worst place to do it, because who remembers anything they learned in math, huh? Huh? Do you remember how to use a hypotenuse?” — TREVOR NOAH“Don’t get me started on the violence inherent in math. I will never forget the day 7 8 9. Scarred me for life.” — TREVOR NOAH“Well, the Florida Education Department explained that reasons for rejecting textbooks included references to critical race theory, which the Florida legislature says includes theories that distort historical events. That explains the updated unit on division: ‘A house divided against itself, hey — that’s two houses. Nice.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“If you don’t know what critical race theory is, don’t worry, neither does Governor Ron DeSantis, don’t worry.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Thanks to his important work, Florida has rejected more than 50 math books after the team uncovered sentence problems like, ‘Jamal has seven apples.’ They felt Jamal sounded suspicious. And where did he get the apples? Does he have a receipt for them?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Back to the Races Edition)“President Biden today attended the White House Easter egg roll. However, due to inflation, the kids all had to share one egg.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s so nice we can gather again and watch the children safely have their egg race while we gamble big money on Fan Duel.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is the three-year anniversary of when a bunny was the smartest person on the White House balcony.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yep, after two minutes of rolling eggs across a lawn, the kids were like, ‘Wow, I actually miss Zoom.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJulia Roberts talked about celebrating 20 years of marriage with her husband, Daniel Moder, on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightLeikeli47 will perform on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutClockwise from left rear: K. Todd Freeman, Noah Reid, Tracy Letts and Jeff Still, along with Danny McCarthy (forefront, on his knees) in the play “The Minutes.”Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesIn Tracy Letts’s new play, “The Minutes,” a tedious City Council meeting cracks open to reveal the secret record of what happened in Big Cherry. More

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      Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls the Police on Jimmy Kimmel

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      Kimmel said of Greene’s angry tweets about a joke he made earlier this week: “She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Marjorie Is the New KarenJimmy Kimmel struck a nerve with Marjorie Taylor Greene this week, prompting some tweets from the congresswoman in which she said she’d filed a threat report with the Capitol Police..@ABC, this threat of violence against me by @jimmykimmel has been filed with the @CapitolPolice. pic.twitter.com/nxYX1LF2jK— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (@RepMTG) April 6, 2022
      Kimmel was chuffed, saying, “This is what she does instead of working — she tweets.”“On our show Tuesday night, M.T.G. — ‘Klan Mom’ as we call her — earlier in the day called three of her fellow Republicans ‘pro-pedophile’ for supporting Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s nomination to the Supreme Court — which is lovely. A lovely thing to say. So I made a joke. I said, ‘Where is Will Smith when you need him?’ And the audience laughed. And then she saw it, and she decided she was going to get some political mileage out of this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“She called the police. Not only did she call the police, she called the same police she voted against giving a congressional gold medal to for defending our Capitol against the insurrection she helped incite on Jan. 6. That’s who she called — the people she wanted to defund.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s amazing how quickly you can go from ‘These liberals! You can’t say anything anymore’ to ‘What did you say? I’m calling the cops!’ Must be that cancel culture they’re always talking about.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So I, after processing the fact that someone called the police on me — believe it or not, that has never happened to me in my life — I tweeted back, ‘Officer? I’d like to report a joke.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This woman, remember, she is the one who endorsed fringe conspiracy theories and repeatedly indicated support for executing prominent Democratic politicians. Now she’s dialing 911 because she got made fun of. She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And nobody does anything. I feel like maybe other Republicans like having her around to make the rest of them seem normal.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Justice Jackson Edition)“‘Ladies and gentleman, the newest member of the United States Supreme Court, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson’ — is what I will be saying in a few months, when she’s actually sworn in. It’s a long process.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson today became the first Black woman to be confirmed to the Supreme Court, in case you’re wondering why the flag over the Fox News building is at half-staff.” — SETH MEYERS“Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson is the first Black woman on the Supreme Court. She got ‘yes’ votes from all Senate Democrats and three pro-pedophile Republicans.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, she’s going to be Justice Jackson. When Disney heard that name, they immediately added her to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Jackson will now debate the most important issues facing our country, like freedom of speech, states’ rights, and ‘Is it cake?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe rapper Pusha T talked about his writing process and collaborating with Jay-Z for his new album on Thursday night’s “Desus & Mero.”Also, Check This OutQuinta Brunson, center, created and stars in “Abbott Elementary,” a surprise hit in its first season.Liliane Lathan/ABC“Abbott Elementary,” a sitcom about the dynamics of public school in 2022, is this season’s best new network comedy, James Poniewozik writes. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Donald Trump’s Endorsement of Sarah Palin

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      “Trump endorsing Palin is like paste eating endorsing glue sniffing,” Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Consider the SourceSarah Palin announced on Friday that she would run for Congress, and she already has the support of former President Donald Trump, who released a statement saying, “Sarah Palin is tough and smart and will never back down.’”“Even from Trump, it’s pretty impressive to fit three lies into an 11-word sentence,” Jimmy Kimmel joked of Trump’s “bigly endorsement.”“I guess the ‘Masked Singer’ money dried up and Sarah is running for office.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump endorsing Palin is like paste eating endorsing glue sniffing. It’s ridiculous.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I saw that Sarah Palin has announced that she is running for Congress in Alaska, which is good news for Republicans and great news for Democrats.” — JIMMY FALLON“You know, for someone who could see Russia from her house, she should have known years ago what Putin was up to, don’t you think?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Special Message Edition)“Last night was the 64th annual Grammy Awards. And I think — I think it was a good night overall because nobody’s watching the uncensored Japanese version on Twitter, and that’s a good thing.” — JIMMY FALLON“Doja Cat nearly missed her acceptance speech, because she was using the bathroom. See? This is why they need litter boxes under the seats — I’ve said it a million times.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a fun night, hours and hours of musicians performing for free, or as that’s also known, Spotify.” — JIMMY FALLON“Ukrainian President Zelensky made an appearance on the Grammys. He gave a heartfelt address to the Grammys audience. He said, ‘The silence of ruined cities and killed people. What is more opposite to music?’ Which is very profound: What is more opposite to music? I thought he was going say Nickelback, which would have been a sick burn. But this was better — keep it focused.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And I got to say as a 48-year-old man, I was just happy to see someone at the Grammys whose name I knew.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJames Corden lamented the lack of great comedies like “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion,” which starred Monday night’s “Late Late Show” guests, Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightOscar Isaac will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutThe Polaroid wall in Jennifer Venditti’s office, covered with images of models and personalities and local eccentrics. Ryan Lowry for The New York TimesA new book about Jennifer Venditti, a casting director, goes behind the scenes of her work on projects like “Euphoria” and “Uncut Gems.” More

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      Late Night Gets Why Putin’s Advisers Keep Him in the Dark

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      “Of course they’re afraid to be honest,” Stephen Colbert said. “No matter what you say to a psychotic boss, you lose.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Putin’s LossRussian troops are reportedly afraid to let Vladimir Putin know just how poorly the war in Ukraine is going.“Of course they’re afraid to be honest. No matter what you say to a psychotic boss, you lose,” Stephen Colbert said.“There are a lot of reasons it’s going so terribly. The Russian troops, they have no clear purpose, the troops are running out of food, and it turns out they have really bad technology. For instance, while most modern military radios are impossible to intercept, many Russians forces are communicating on unencrypted high frequency channels that allow anyone with a ham radio to eavesdrop. To which Russian soldiers said, ‘A radio made of ham? Can I have one? I’m so hungry!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Russia’s walkie-talkies are being bombarded with heavy metal music from Ukrainian operators. OK, that’s not bad, heavy metal, but if Ukraine really wants to mess with Russian soldiers, they should flood their walkie-talkies with an unbearably long podcast.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But Vladimir Putin may not be aware of how bad his invasion is going because new intelligence suggests his advisers misinformed him on Ukraine. Well, Putin’s clearly a victim of his own pro-Russia propaganda. He doesn’t even know that Russia lost ‘Rocky IV.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Intelligence officials reportedly believe that Russian president Vladimir Putin has only recently learned how poorly the invasion of Ukraine has been going and is angry with his military advisers. And you can tell he’s upset, because now the table is even longer.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Walking It Back Edition)“And Republican congressman Madison Cawthorn is now taking back the comments he made about fellow lawmakers inviting him to orgies and doing cocaine in his presence. In a meeting with House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, Cawthorn admitted his comments were ‘exaggerated.’ He talked a big game about cocaine and orgies, but in reality, it was just Claritin, and an over-the-pants handy.” — JAMES CORDEN“First he said on a podcast that they did cocaine in front of him; now he says he thinks he may have seen a staffer in a parking garage from 100 yards away. How deluded are you to be in a parking garage, seeing someone lean over to pick up their keys and thinking, ‘Uh oh, looks like another cocaine orgy’?”— JAMES CORDEN“That was obviously a very bizarre and shocking allegation, and it pissed off Cawthorn’s G.O.P. colleagues because he seemed to be accusing his fellow Republicans of being the sex-crazed drug addicts. And by the way, let me just state for the record, I don’t care — have your orgies. You’re consenting adults. If you want to roll out a tarp in a Holiday Inn conference room and go to town on each other, be my guest.” — SETH MEYERS“Dude, when you’re trying to tamp down orgy rumors, don’t say ‘members,’ just say people — we know who you mean.” — SETH MEYERS“He sounds like me in high school trying to convince my mom and dad that everyone at the party was drinking except me: ‘No, I just had — I just had a Sprite because I didn’t like the taste of liquor.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingSamuel L. Jackson talked about some of his iconic roles on Thursday night’s “Desus & Mero.”Also, Check This Out Elizabeth Alexander’s book of essays is accompanied by artwork, including Dawoud Bey’s “Martina and Rhonda, Chicago, Ill.,” 1993).Dawoud Bey. Courtesy: Sean Kelly, New York.Elizabeth Alexander’s new book, “The Trayvon Generation,” traces the influences of racism and violence on American culture today. More

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      Stephen Colbert Condemns Trump’s Digging for Dirt During a War

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      “It’s generally frowned upon for U.S. presidents, current or former, to solicit our murderous mortal enemies for dirt on their political rivals,” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Poor Sense of TimingIn a new interview with a right-wing news outlet this week, former President Donald Trump called on Vladimir Putin to release damaging information on the Bidens.Late-night hosts questioned his timing.“Damn, he’s asking for Russian help through the TV again? Does this man have no shame?” Stephen Colbert said. “And I withdraw the question.”“It’s generally frowned upon for U.S. presidents, current or former, to solicit our murderous, mortal enemies for dirt on their political rivals.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Well, now he’s asking Vladmir Putin to release dirt on the Bidens in the middle of a war. He wants our enemy to dig up damaging information about our president while he is attacking Ukraine — and he doesn’t see anything wrong with this. The whole free world is trying to stop Putin, Trump’s like, ‘Hey, got anything on the president’s crackhead son I can use? I’d really appreciate it.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“As usual, his timing is impeccable. He reminded the world that Putin is his buddy at the exact moment that everyone realizes that his buddy is actual Hitler. This is worse than last year, when Jell-O re-signed Bill Cosby to announce their new flavor, ‘Out on a Technicality Orange.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (G.O.P. After Dark Edition)“Speaking of right-wing weirdos, there’s some splashback to the story from North Carolina congressman and haunted jack-in-the-box, Madison Cawthorn. Recently, Cawthorn made some extraordinary claims that his Republican colleagues in Congress are orgy-frequenting degenerates with a fondness for hard drugs. Given the average age of the G.O.P., I assume they’re snorting Boniva.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Come on, man, do you really expect us to believe that Congress could plan and execute an orgy? At best, I can see them announcing an exploratory committee that would begin to investigate the feasibility of an orgy at a later date.”— SETH MEYERS“House G.O.P. leader Kevin McCarthy called Cawthorn into his office today, maybe hoping to score an invite or to tell him to stop narcing.” — SETH MEYERS“Rep. Dan Crenshaw of Texas said, ‘It does paint the picture here that isn’t accurate.’ Thank god, because that picture is too awful to be real. I’ve interviewed 80 members of Congress, and I’d have sex with two and a half of them. Not at the same time, of course — I’m not in the G.O.P.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This whole group of pro-Trump toadies is just so weird and loathsome, like Texas Senator Ted Cruz, for example, who, I’m gonna go out on a limb here, wasn’t invited to the orgy.” — SETH MEYERS“Oh, please don’t name names, because all those names go with faces we know.” — SETH MEYERS“Also, I got to say, if they were having orgies and doing cocaine, I would actually find that impressive. I mean, they’re all 70 and 80 years old. If you told me Chuck Grassley was snorting blow and boning nonstop, I’d be like, ‘Damn, maybe he’s more with it than I thought.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingA 72-year-old grandmother from the Bronx twerked for Jimmy Fallon on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe creator and star of “Starstruck,” Rose Matafeo, will sit down with Seth Meyers on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe author Casey McQuiston.Tonje Thilesen for The New York TimesAfter years of being relegated to back shelves, sales of L.G.B.T.Q. romance novels from authors like Casey McQuiston are booming. More