Meyers, Seth

Subterms

    More stories

    • 88 Shares129 Views

      in Television

      Seth Meyers on Trump’s ‘Truth Social’ Stumbles

      by

      Meyers said, “By the time you find yourself signing up for Donald Trump’s social media site, something already went wrong.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Moment of TruthDonald Trump’s new Twitter alternative went live on Monday. On “Late Night,” Seth Meyers joked that Truth Social is “expected to revolutionize the way Americans have their data stolen.”“But like lots of people, I couldn’t even log in because when it launched, select users who tried to create accounts were repeatedly met with a red error warning, ‘Something went wrong. Please try again.’ Though by the time you find yourself signing up for Donald Trump’s social media site, something already went wrong.” — SETH MEYERS“But I’m guessing they’ll try again. If you were first in line to sign up for Truth Social, you probably got some free time on your hands. [imitating Trump supporter] ‘Well, I’m just sitting here waiting for J.F.K., Jr. to reappear at the Meadowlands with Elvis and the Loch Ness monster to prove the election was stolen. I guess I’ll try logging in again.’” — SETH MEYERS“I really enjoy how vague the error message is: ‘Something went wrong,’ like even they don’t know what the problem is. Usually you get an error code or something, but Trump’s site just gives you a shrug emoji that says, ‘What were you expecting? This thing’s a cluster [expletive].’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Chilly Willy Edition)“And finally, an athlete from Finland told reporters over the weekend that after competing in the men’s 50-kilometer cross-country ski race at the Beijing Games, his penis was, quote, ‘a little bit frozen’ — though just because he needed an excuse after he was caught ‘warming it up.’” — SETH MEYERS“Or as it’s known by its official medical diagnosis: chilly willy.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Lindholm’s frosty groin was so bad, after the race, he had to use a heat pack to try to thaw out his appendage. OK, you gotta do it. Remember, never let your penis defrost on the counter. Put it in a bowl of water in the fridge — salmonella.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now if this all sounds painful, yes. As Lindholm said, “When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable.’ As opposed to ‘bearable’ frozen penis?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“People could tell something was wrong when he was doing a hand stand under the hand dryers in the men’s room. Thank god he’s an Olympian, because I wouldn’t have the hand strength.” — JIMMY FALLON“I feel for the guy, though. He’s training for years and now that’s what comes up when you Google him, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“He used it to his advantage, though. For two of the turns he didn’t even use a ski pole.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingA bachelorette party crashed Monday night’s “Late Late Show,” and James Corden called on security for help.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightArnold Schwarzenegger will appear on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutClockwise from right: scenes from “A Banquet,” “You Are Not My Mother,” “Censor” and “She Will.”IFC Midnight; Magnet ReleasingA new wave of woman filmmakers from Britain and Ireland is breaking into the horror genre with scary debuts like “Saint Maud” and “A Banquet.” More

    • 88 Shares159 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Comments on the Washington Commanders

      by

      The hosts didn’t think much of the N.F.L. team’s long-awaited new name. Jimmy Kimmel pointed out that it’s also the name of the president’s dog.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Command PerformanceThe Washington Football Team, formerly known as the Redskins, announced its new name and logo on Wednesday, rebranding as the Washington Commanders.“And just like that, she made racism disappear!” Jimmy Kimmel joked of the team’s co-owner Tanya Snyder, who handled the unveiling of the new uniforms.“The ‘W’ stands for ‘Why did it take you two years to come up with this?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL on the team’s new logo“‘The Commanders’ kind of sounds like an action movie where Dolph Lungren and Sylvester Stallone join forces to defend their assisted living facility.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s the Washington Commanders. That really feels like a waste of a drumroll.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“‘Commanders’ might be the only name more generic than ‘Football Team.’ I was hoping for something fun and new, like ‘The Washington Balloons’ or ‘The Fightin’ Dolly Partons.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Interestingly, the franchise now shares a name with President Biden’s dog, who is also named Commander. Good thing they didn’t name it after Trump’s dog. ‘The Washington Pences’ — it doesn’t have the same ring to it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The Washington Football Team announced today that it officially changed its name to the Washington Commanders, as in ‘Rams 37, Commanders 3.’” — SETH MEYERS“I mean, call them whatever you want, they haven’t been able to command a winning season since Obama was in office.” — JAMES CORDEN“To give you an idea of how fans reacted, shortly after the announcement, this is true, the word ‘terrible’ trended on Twitter, which is surprising, considering how Twitter is normally so welcoming and so positive.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Six More Years of Winter Edition)“This morning, all eyes were on Gobbler’s Knob, which I can’t believe I can say on CBS.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Today was Groundhog Day, and Punxsutawney Phil says we’ve got about six or seven winters left.” — SETH MEYERS“That is so unfair, because if Africans were doing [expletive] like this and you heard that we pulled animals out of the ground? Like, there are villages in Africa where people wear animal skins, and if I tried to explain that Americans use groundhogs to predict the weather, they would be like, ‘But why not just use the satellite data?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, that’s right, we spend all year telling people to trust science, then ask a large rodent to predict the weather.” — JIMMY FALLON“You know, they could just flip a coin, but coins aren’t known carriers of rabies and hepatitis, so it’s more fun to go with the groundhog.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I was thinking, actually, about Feb. 2, 2020 — two years ago exactly. We still hadn’t had a single Covid death in the United States. Exactly six weeks later, the whole country was in lockdown, six weeks to the day. But how could we have known this was coming? Who, on Feb. 2, could possibly have predicted what would happen in exactly six weeks?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And by the way, we looked into it — the Farmers’ Almanac calls the few animals who hibernate in winter ‘the seven sleepers.’ You want to know who two of the seven sleepers are? Groundhogs and bats.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Daily Show” correspondent Roy Wood Jr. profiled the creator of Proud Puffs — the “Jackie Robinson of breakfast cereal” — for this week’s Black in Business.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightNicki Minaj will appear on Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutA depiction of the Anderson-Lee wedding (featuring Lily James and Sebastian Stan) in “Pam & Tommy.” In real life, the couple met, fell in love and were married in the course of four days.Erin Simkin/HuluHulu’s “Pam & Tommy” is a picaresque romp through the history of the stolen sex tape that changed pop culture. More

    • 88 Shares149 Views

      in Television

      Trevor Noah: Trump Is America’s Relentless Ex

      by

      “And like many exes, he really wants a second chance. But instead of promising to do better next time, he’s threatening to do even worse,” Noah said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Land of Second ChancesDonald Trump held a rally on Sunday in Texas, where he said, if re-elected as president, he would consider pardoning those involved with the Capitol riot. On Monday’s “Daily Show,” Trevor Noah called Trump “the greatest con man of all time,” noting he had not pardoned those involved while he was still in office and instead let them be prosecuted.“Trump is basically the ex that America kicked out for throwing an open house party at the Capitol. And like many exes, he really wants a second chance. But instead of promising to do better next time, he’s threatening to do even worse.” — TREVOR NOAH“While the Jan. 6 select committee continues to look for the cause of the Capitol riot, the cause admitted to everything and threatened to do it again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“If it had been him instead of O.J., the quote would have been ‘The gloves don’t fit, but you don’t need gloves to stab a guy.’” — SETH MEYERS“What a weird platform to run on for president: ‘I will pardon violent criminals.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You’ve got to admit, Trump leans on his supporters really hard. I mean, first they had to storm the Capitol because he lost the election, then their donations went to his legal fees because he’s always getting sued. Now they have to protest if he gets charged? Like, where does it end? If Trump does go to prison, is he going to make these poor people smuggle cigarettes up their butts?” — TREVOR NOAH“Even the rioters were, like, ‘Oh no, I don’t think he can say that.’” — JIMMY FALLON“There’s no better way to announce a presidential run than to say, ‘I’ll empty the jails!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Super Bowl Surprise Edition)“The L.A. Rams are headed to the Super Bowl after a come-from-behind victory over the San Francisco 49ers. The Rams will play the Cinderella Cincinnati Bengals in the lowest-seeded matchup in Super Bowl history, meaning the teams that oddsmakers least expected to make it this far made it. To put that in non-football terms, if this was a matchup of Kardashians, it’d be like Kourtney versus Rob, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Before the season, the Bengals’ odds were 150 to 1. To give you an idea, there are better odds of finding a rapid test at CVS.” — JIMMY FALLON“This is the most exciting thing to happen to Cincinnati since they found all that spaghetti under their chili.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But this is the Bengals’ first Super Bowl appearance since the ’80s. A lot has changed since then: Back then, inflation was high, there was tension with Russia, and our president was in his late 70s.” — JIMMY FALLON“And, this is crazy, the Super Bowl is being played in Los Angeles at the Rams’ home stadium. That’s right, even N.F.L. players are working from home.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, we’re two weeks away from the game and experts are wondering, if a Super Bowl doesn’t have Tom Brady, can it still be called the Super Bowl?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon gave two puppies the task of predicting which team will win the Super Bowl.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightDavid Letterman will celebrate 40 years of “Late Night” with Seth Meyers on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutThroughout “Janet Jackson,” the highs and lows of Jackson’s career are often presented as a kind of collateral asset or damage.LifetimeThe new documentary series about Janet Jackson offered more insight into the private pop star but still doesn’t dig too deep. More

    • 88 Shares129 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Supports Biden’s Supreme Court Strategy

      by

      Trevor Noah joked that Biden will nominate a Black woman to replace Stephen Breyer “because he cares deeply about representation and winning Georgia.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.He’s Got a TypeOn Thursday, Justice Stephen Breyer officially announced his plans to retire from the Supreme Court. President Biden reaffirmed his campaign promise to nominate a Black woman to the court, “because he cares deeply about representation and winning Georgia,” Trevor Noah joked on “The Daily Show.”“After White House press secretary Jen Psaki said yesterday that President Biden will stand by his commitment to appoint a Black woman to the Supreme Court, a Fox News panel criticized the administration’s selection process. I’ll take a wild guess and say they have exactly two problems with a Black woman.” — SETH MEYERS“Joe Biden is going to pick a Black woman who is also qualified. These people act like Biden is just going to show up at the mall and be, like, ‘Yo, Shaniqua, come with me.’ ‘Uh, my name is Regina.’ ‘It doesn’t matter — just put on these robes, I need help with abortion.’” — TREVOR NOAH“No, she’s going to be qualified — and why is that a bad thing? Why not make the Supreme Court a little more representative of the country it represents? I mean, their rulings impact the lives of every person in the country, so it would be nice to have at least one justice on there who’s had to ask the Walgreens guy to unlock the shampoo shelf.” — TREVOR NOAH“At the same time, I also hear what the Fox people are saying, you know? It shouldn’t matter whether you’re Black or white, this position should only go to the most qualified judge who also thinks that guns are people.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Minnie’s New Look Edition)“In honor of the park’s 30th anniversary and Women’s History Month in March, Disneyland Paris announced yesterday that Minnie Mouse will wear a dark blue and black, polka-dotted pantsuit designed by Stella McCartney. Unfortunately, that still won’t make up for the fact that you brought your wife to Paris and then took her to Disneyland.” — SETH MEYERS“Minnie’s new look will debut in March at Disneyland Paris, which is just like regular Disneyland, only more existential.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Unfortunately, Donald Duck is still running around with his cloaca out, just waving in the wind.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s a fun little story, and you’d have to be a desperate, culture war troll to take issue with it, which is why Fox News took issue with it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“No one is talking about Minnie Mouse on the other channels. If Minnie Mouse getting a new outfit upsets you, I would recommend turning 4 years old.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Honestly, genuinely, I’d wear it.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee made a case for why Kyrsten Sinema has annoyed Democrats for longer than most Americans might be aware.Also, Check This Out“Playing ‘Jeopardy!’ has been the most fun I’ve ever had and I didn’t want it to end,” Amy Schneider said. “I knew it would some time, but it was tough to realize that the moment was finally there.”via Jeopardy Productions, Inc.Amy Schneider’s whirlwind “Jeopardy!” winning streak ended with a loss during her 41st game on Wednesday. More

    • 100 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Reflects on Stephen Breyer’s Retirement Plan

      by

      “Yep, at 83, Breyer only has two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bye Bye, BreyerThe big news on Wednesday was Justice Stephen Breyer’s plan to retire from the Supreme Court.“Yep, at 83, Breyer only has two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,” Jimmy Fallon said.“Unfortunately for Breyer, this is the only job in which you wear less robes after you retire. I hope he knows that.” — JAMES CORDEN“This is big, y’all. Justice Breyer is retiring. Yeah, probably to focus more on his ice cream brand.” — TREVOR NOAH“He says he’s ‘retiring.’ I think we know what’s really going on: He’s pregnant.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yep, Breyer said he wants to retire so he can spend more time looking like a wise shopkeeper from a Hallmark Christmas movie.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, it was clear Breyer has been thinking about this. During the last case, the only question he asked was, ‘When’s nap time?’” — JIMMY FALLON“This comes after a yearlong, high-pressure campaign to get Breyer to step down while Democrats still have control of the Senate, which included a billboard truck that drove around Washington, D.C., that said ‘Breyer, retire.’ Youchers, that has got to sting. That’s like if I walked up to the Ed Sullivan Theater and the building said, ‘Quit.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Replacements Edition)“Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is reportedly planning to retire at the end of the current term, which would allow President Biden to appoint a successor. Said Mitch McConnell, ‘With only three years left in his term? I don’t think so.” — SETH MEYERS“So Democrats have been relentlessly pestering Breyer to step down so that they can replace him before Mitch McConnell comes back into power and makes a rule that all Supreme Court justices have to have been platinum QAnon members in the past.” — TREVOR NOAH“Don’t be shocked when Mitch still makes it happen. He’s just going to come out like, ‘It is a longstanding Senate tradition that we cannot confirm a Supreme Court justice in a year where there is a new season of ‘Ozark’ on Netflix.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Although this does pave the way for President Biden to choose his replacement, to which Merrick Garland said, ‘Hahahahaha.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Joe Biden should nominate Anita Hill to be on the Supreme Court. Now how good would that be?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Late Show” writer Eliana Kwartler explained hot new fashion trends like “jellyfishing” and “indie sleaze” to her boss, Stephen Colbert.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe “Afterparty” star Ilana Glazer will pop by Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutBill T. Jones, far right, working on the choreography of “Black No More” with cast members.Douglas Segars for The New York TimesThe new show “Black No More” is inspired by a 1931 novel about race relations during the Harlem Renaissance. More

    • 113 Shares149 Views

      in Television

      Trevor Noah Weighs In on Biden’s Hot Mic Drop

      by

      “You see? This is what happens when you have been on Zoom calls for two years — you forget that real life doesn’t have a mute button,” Noah said of the president’s comments about a Fox News reporter.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Tell Me How You Really FeelAt the White House on Monday, President Biden referred to Peter Doocy, a Fox News reporter, as a “stupid son of a bitch” in a hot-mic moment.“Like most presidents, Biden has a complicated relationship with the media, which I get it, you know?” Trevor Noah said on Tuesday. “They nitpick everything he says, they challenge all of his decisions and they even get their own room in his house, which is insane. Nobody else has to set aside a guest room for their haters.”Biden’s comment was in reference to Doocy’s asking if he believed inflation would be a political liability in the midterm elections.“I mean if you get to ask the president a question, you should ask him real questions, like ‘Why can’t the C.D.C. get its messaging straight on Covid?’ or ‘Can you ask your dog to stop chewing my arm?’” — TREVOR NOAH“You see? This is what happens when you have been on Zoom calls for two years — you forget that real life doesn’t have a mute button.” — TREVOR NOAH“A lot of people online are dunking on the reporter, saying he deserved this because he’s just some Fox News guy asking a dumb question, and they’re right. You know, ‘Do you think inflation is a political liability’ is a very stupid question. I mean, what’s Biden supposed to say? ‘No, I think people like spending more money to buy the same [expletive].’”— TREVOR NOAH“Biden dropped one off-handed diss on a reporter — he’s no legend. Attacking the press was Donald Trump’s whole thing.” — TREVOR NOAH“First of all, he wouldn’t mumble that into a hot mic — no, he would scream that [expletive] in your face, he would be like [imitating Trump] ‘Get that son of a bitch out of here. So rude. So rude. My crimes are my business.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Hot Mic Edition)“When your age is almost 80 and your approval rating’s almost 30, you can pretty much say whatever you want, I think.” — JIMMY FALLON“Said Biden, ‘I’m so sorry. That was supposed to be into the main mic.’” — SETH MEYERS“You can tell that felt good for Biden, because today he was fielding questions like, ‘Yeah, the moron in the back. How about Dopey in the corner, you got something to say?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Hey, listen, if Biden’s next three years are going to be grandpa at Thanksgiving, sign me up.” — JIMMY FALLON“[imitating Biden] That’s right, Old Joey’s back. I’ve reached peak old man, givin’ zero malarkeys.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Later that night, Biden did something I forgot presidents could do — he apologized.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers skewered his writers for some of their worst monologue jokes.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightSydney Sweeney, the star of “Euphoria,” will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutHilary Duff, second from left, with Tom Ainsley and Francia Raisa, in “How I Met Your Father.”Patrick Wymore/HuluHilary Duff, the star of “How I Met Your Father,” is already tired of people asking who the father is. More

    • 100 Shares159 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Celebrates One Year of President Biden

      by

      “A year ago, Biden pledged to address Covid, the economy, climate change and racial injustice. And good news — after 12 months of tireless effort, we’re all getting three free masks,” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to the Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.One Long YearThursday marked the end of President Biden’s first year in the White House.“When asked what he’s learned, Biden said, ‘Being vice president was a hell of a lot more fun,’” Jimmy Fallon joked.“President Biden said yesterday that his first year in office has been ‘a year of challenges,’ but he’d rather focus on the positives, like your Covid test.” — SETH MEYERS“It seems like just yesterday our democracy was being held hostage by a cabal of obstructionists who didn’t want every vote counted. Oh, wait, that was yesterday.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A year ago, Biden pledged to address Covid, the economy, climate change and racial injustice. And good news — after 12 months of tireless effort, we’re all getting three free masks.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden yesterday held a 1 hour 51 minute press conference. It was the first thing Americans actually wished Joe Manchin had stopped.” — SETH MEYERS“A lot of people are disappointed with President Biden. His approval rating just reached a new low after his press conference yesterday. The press conference was a success in that he went nearly two hours without having to pee.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He promised no malarkey, but lawyers made him change it to ‘produced in a facility that also processes malarkey.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Unvoting Voting Edition)“Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema believe so strongly in the power of voting that they use their vote to block voting rights for the entire country. They were unvoting voting by voting.” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, say what you will about the Democrats, but never has a party been on a hotter streak of getting absolutely nothing done.” — JAMES CORDEN“The big takeaway is the people you voted for, voted to make it harder for you to vote.” — JAMES CORDEN“Republicans want to add restrictions to voting because they are worried about voter fraud, even though it’s almost completely nonexistent, voter fraud. Hey, you know what? You guys believe climate change is nonexistent, right? How about coming up with some restrictions for that? Let’s compromise on this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You can’t compromise with the side that’s doing the damage. When you’re putting out a fire, you don’t call the Fire Department and the arsonist, and see what they can work out together.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJames Corden talked with Rachel Brosnahan and Ed Helms about the celebrities they are frequently mistaken for on Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutImages from the Barbed-Wire Kisses panel at the 1992 Sundance Film Festival.Sandria Miller for Sundance InstituteThis year’s Sundance marks 30 years since the festival held its first panel on New Queer Cinema, a sea change for L.G.B.T.Q. film. More

    • 100 Shares149 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Kimmel Not Surprised by Trump Fraud Allegations

      by

      “The walls appear to be closing in on Trump — big, beautiful walls,” Kimmel said, as new details emerged from an investigation into the ex-president’s family business.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Male Pattern Fraudness’Late-night hosts were not surprised to hear that New York State’s attorney general, Letitia James, is accusing Donald Trump’s family business of repeatedly misrepresenting the value of its assets.“One year ago today, Donald Trump was still in the White House, throwing chicken nuggets at the TV, and one year from today, he could be in jail,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“According to documents filed by the attorney general in New York last night, they’ve uncovered evidence that indicates the Trump Organization repeatedly engaged in ‘fraudulent or misleading’ practices. The walls appear to be closing in on Trump — big, beautiful walls.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“James says that her office has uncovered significant evidence that the former president fraudulently valued multiple assets, including his own private residence. He claimed the triplex apartment was 30,000 square feet in size, but the actual size was just under 11,000 square feet. Yeah, that’s no surprise — he’s known for falsely tripling the size of his assets.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know how when people are shocked, they spit out their water? When I heard Donald Trump exaggerated the value of his assets for the purposes of lying to banks and the I.R.S., it was so the reverse of shocking, I sucked the water back into my mouth.” — SETH MEYERS“But this is nice, they’re interviewing Donald Jr., Ivanka, and have already talked to Eric, making this the first time Tiffany was happy to be excluded.” — JAMES CORDEN“But it’s a fairly straightforward case. To find fraud in a business, you just have to look for the signs — particularly the signs at the top of the building that say ‘Trump’ on them — and you will find it there. There is where you will find his male pattern fraudness.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I mean, at the same time, Donald Trump does not give a [expletive]. Let’s be honest: This dude will brag about himself even if it gets him in trouble. I bet when a cop asks him if he knows how fast he was going, he’s like, ‘Yeah, I do, 400 billion miles a second, the fastest anyone has ever gone. I was so fast. So fast.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (How Long Was It? Edition)“President Biden today gave his first press conference in a long time, and it went on for a long time. It may be still going, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It comes one day before his presidency hits the one-year mark, and he used the opportunity to highlight his administration’s key successes — successes such as vaccinating millions of Americans, low unemployment, and casually hooking up with Pete Davidson.” — JAMES CORDEN“And this was smart: to make Biden look good, they had the C.D.C. director go out first and open for him.” — JIMMY FALLON“The press conference kicked off at 4 p.m. You can tell it was really important for Biden because that’s right in the middle of dinner.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, it was his first formal press conference at the White House since March of last year. In Biden’s defense, that one just wrapped up a few days ago.” — JIMMY FALLON“For almost two hours, Biden took question after question about Russia, Covid, voter rights. He really got into why Denny’s breakfast menu is so sticky all the time.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The president took a lot of questions, too many questions. You know how at the end of most press conferences, the reporters are yelling ‘Mr. President, Mr. President!’? At the end of this one, they were like, ‘Goodbye. We’re good. We got plenty.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Wednesday’s “Tonight Show,” Christine Baranski said fans who mistake her for her sophisticated characters wouldn’t believe how loud she gets when watching the Buffalo Bills.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightTwitter legend Dionne Warwick will pop by Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSince the Trump mask incident, Griffin has been trying to make her way back, brushing up against obstacles like partisan rage, sexism, pill addiction, lung cancer and her own reputation.Chantal Anderson for The New York TimesKathy Griffin’s career hasn’t recovered from a 2017 Trump joke, and now she’s hoping to find her way back onto the D-list. More