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      The Daniels Win Best Director for ‘Everything, Everywhere All At Once’

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      Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert won the best director Oscar for their poignant, warmhearted multiverse mash-up, “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” on Sunday night, making them the rare set of paired directors to win the big prize.Academy officials said they were just the fifth set of director duos to be nominated. Robert Wise and Jerome Robbins won for “West Side Story” (1961) and the Coen brothers won for “No Country for Old Men” (2007), though they later lost for “True Grit” (2010). Warren Beatty and Buck Henry also received a nod but not a statuette, for the 1978 comedy “Heaven Can Wait.”“Everything Everywhere All at Once,” which premiered last April, was a hit with audiences and critics alike. Although the Daniels gleefully incorporate hot-dog fingers and everything bagels into their head-spinning, world-jumping movie, which they also wrote, the film is, at its core, about family and its many complications. It stars Michelle Yeoh as a laundromat owner at odds with everyone from the I.R.S. to her loving husband and rebellious daughter.The Daniels, as they are collectively known, came into the night as heavy favorites. Sunday’s win adds another honor to an impressive awards-season run for the Daniels, who also took top prizes at the Directors Guild Awards and the Critics Choice Awards.Both of the Daniels used their stage time to thank their parents.“Thank you for not squashing my creativity when I was making really disturbing horror films or really perverted comedy films or dressing in drag as a kid, which is a threat to nobody,” Scheinert said.“We are all products of our context. We are all descendants of something and someone. And I want to acknowledge my context,” Kwan added. “My immigrant parents, my father who fell in love with movies because he needed to escape the world and thus passed that love of movies onto me. My mother, who was a creative soul, who wanted to be a dancer, an actor and singer, but could not afford the luxury of that life path, and then gave it to me. My incredible brothers and sisters, who helped me survive the chaos of childhood.” More

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      ‘Naatu Naatu’ From ‘RRR’ Wins Oscar for Best Original Song

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      “Naatu Naatu,” the rollicking dance hit from the Indian blockbuster “RRR,” won the Oscar for best original song, beating out two songs featuring American pop megastars.It’s not the first Indian number to win the award — that would be A.R. Rahman’s tune for the British-made “Slumdog Millionaire” — but it is the first from an Indian production.In the Telugu-language film, set in 1920s colonial India, the song figures in a marathon dance-off that was filmed in front of the Mariinsky Palace in Ukraine before the Russian invasion. M. M. Keeravani, the song’s composer, used duffs, an Indian skin drum, for the main beats, adding in mandolins for the melody. The lyricist Chandrabose, who is known for his work in Tollywood, that is, Telugu cinema, has said he wrote most of the words in about an hour.“I grew up listening to the Carpenters, and now here I am with the Oscars,” Keeravani said in his acceptance speech, singing a rendition of the group’s song “Top of the World” but with lyrics about his joy at winning the award.What does “Naatu Naatu” mean? As Keeravani explained to The Times, “Naatu means ethnic: something we own ourselves, something completely unique, something that belongs to one’s own identity. That is Naatu. Naatu means country. It’s a song from the countryside. It’s about everything that happened in our own country, in our own village; something you cherish for life.”The Oscars ceremony included a performance of the song, with its rapid-kick choreography and roguish suspender snapping.The song beat others from “Top Gun: Maverick,” “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,” “Everything Everywhere All at Once” and “Tell It Like a Woman.”Rihanna’s “Black Panther” hit, “Lift Me Up,” was also a front-runner for the award. The hymnlike ballad with a prominent string section was the pop star’s first solo song in years, drawing significant attention. On Sunday, the pop star’s performance ended with a standing ovation.For “Top Gun,” Lady Gaga performed “Hold My Hand,” an emotional power ballad. Written by Gaga and BloodPop, the song’s music video featured the pop star in classic “Top Gun” apparel: a white tank top, a dog tag necklace and aviator sunglasses.The nominated song from “Everything Everywhere” was “This Is a Life,” by the indie-rock band Son Lux, featuring Mitski and David Byrne. The song is played in the end credits, and the lyrics — “I choose you, and you choose me” — speak to core messages in the film.The original song nomination was the only nod for “Tell It Like a Woman,” which features seven short stories with female protagonists, some of them fictional and some inspired by true events. Written by Diane Warren, the song, “Applause,” would have been a major victory for the songwriter after 13 previous nominations in the same category and no wins. She did take home a Governors Award earlier in the season, the Oscar equivalent of a lifetime achievement honor. At that ceremony, held in November, she said, “I’ve waited 34 years to say this: I’d like to thank the academy!” More

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      ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once’ Is Big Winner at the Oscars

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      In the late 1960s, young cineastes shook up a moribund film industry by delivering idiosyncratic, startlingly original work. The moment became known as New Hollywood.When film historians look back at the 95th Academy Awards, they may mark it as the start of a new New Hollywood. Voters honored A24’s head-twisting, sex toy-brandishing, TikTok-era “Everything Everywhere All at Once” with the Oscar for best picture — along with six other awards — while naming Netflix’s German-language war epic “All Quiet on the Western Front” the winner in four categories, including best international film.The Daniels, the young filmmaking duo behind the racially diverse “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” won Oscars for their original screenplay and directing. (The Daniels is an oh-so-cool sobriquet for Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert. They are both 35.) The film, which received a field-leading 11 nominations, also won Oscars for film editing, best actress and best supporting actor and actress, with Michelle Yeoh, Ke Huy Quan and Jamie Lee Curtis honored for their performances.“Ladies, don’t let anybody ever tell you that you are ever past your prime,” Yeoh, 60, said when accepting the best actress Oscar. “Never give up.” She was the first Asian woman to receive the award.Clip Courtesy A.M.P.A.S.© 2023Quan’s win provided the Academy Awards with a hall-of-fame comeback story: After early success in movies like “The Goonies” and “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom,” his acting career grew so cold that he turned to stunt work. “Dreams are something you have to believe in,” Quan said as tears streamed down his face and A-list attendees gave him a standing ovation. “I almost gave up on mine. To everyone out there, please keep your dreams alive.”Curtis was also in tears by the time she reached the fiery conclusion of her acceptance speech. “To all of the people who have supported the genre movies that I have made for all these years,” she said, “the thousands and hundreds of thousands of people, we just won an Oscar together!”Clip Courtesy A.M.P.A.S.© 2023The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences spread nominations remarkably far and wide this year. Two blockbuster sequels, “Avatar: The Way of Water” and “Top Gun: Maverick,” made the best picture cut. So did the little-seen art films “Triangle of Sadness,” “Women Talking” and “Tár.” Voters also made room for a musical (“Elvis”) and a memory piece (“The Fabelmans”). In some ways, spreading nominations widely reflected the jumbled state of Hollywood. No one in the movie capital seems to know which end is up, with streaming services like Netflix hot then not, and studios unsure about how many films to release in theaters and whether anything but superheroes, sequels and horror stories can succeed. Over the weekend, “Scream VI” was the top movie at the North American box office, with an estimated $44.5 million in ticket sales.First-time nominees filled 16 of the 20 acting slots, with new stars like Austin Butler (“Elvis”), Barry Keoghan (“The Banshees of Inisherin”), Brian Tyree Henry (“Causeway”), Paul Mescal (“Aftersun”) and Stephanie Hsu (“Everything Everywhere All at Once”) honored for breakthrough roles.But first-time acting nominations also went to Hollywood stalwarts like Curtis, Yeoh and Brendan Fraser. To some degree, the inclusion of Quan, Curtis, Fraser and Yeoh was seen as redemption for Hollywood: All had somehow been cast to the side at some point over their careers.An overcome Fraser, who won the Oscar for best actor for his performance as an obese professor in “The Whale,” thanked Darren Aronofsky, the film’s director, “for throwing me a creative lifeline.”Clip Courtesy A.M.P.A.S.© 2023The academy was also trying to balance old and new in the Oscars ceremony itself. The academy’s chief executive had promised a return to the polished, glamorous Oscar ceremonies of the past to recover from last year’s chaotic telecast, when an angry Will Smith walked onstage and slapped Chris Rock. In a change from last year, when eight categories were scuttled to a nontelevised portion, all 23 Oscars were handed out live on air.As host, Jimmy Kimmel arrived on the Oscars stage by parachute, moments after a pair of “Top Gun”-style fighter jets flew over the Dolby Theater in Los Angeles at 345 miles per hour. He then breezed through a self-assured monologue that left the A-listers seated before him cheering in support. He teased Steven Spielberg — gently — for his lack of recreational drug use and Fraser and Quan for once appearing together in “Encino Man.” It was the kind of affable ribbing that once made Billy Crystal the king of the Oscar M.C.’s.The host Jimmy Kimmel arrived on the stage via parachute and breezed through his monologue.Todd Heisler/The New York Times“And if any of you get offended by a joke and decide you want to come up here and get jiggy with it? It’s not going to be easy,” Kimmel said, addressing last year’s slap without directly mentioning Smith. He then joked that people like Michael B. Jordan, the “Creed” star, and Pedro Pascal, who plays the title role in “The Mandalorian,” were prepared to intervene.“Seriously, the academy has a crisis team in place,” Kimmel said. “If anything unpredictable or violent happens during the ceremony, just do what you did last year — nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug.”As expected, “Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio” received the Oscar for best animated feature, and “Navalny” was honored as best documentary. Less anticipated was Ruth Carter’s win for her “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever” costume design. (Most awards handicappers had predicted victory for the “Elvis” costume designer Catherine Martin. Carter also won for “Black Panther” in 2019.)The #OscarsSoWhite outcries from 2015 and 2016, prompted by all-white slates of acting nominees, continue to reverberate at the academy, which has been trying to diversify its membership by race, gender and nationality. Nearly 50 percent of the academy’s most recent class of new members came from overseas. About 25 percent of the academy’s total membership of 10,000 now comes from outside the United States.But the academy was criticized this year for not nominating any women in the best director category. For decades, women and people of color were almost entirely excluded from the directing race. In 2021, for the first time, two women were nominated: Chloé Zhao (“Nomadland”) and Emerald Fennell (“Promising Young Woman”), with Zhao winning. Last year, Jane Campion (“The Power of the Dog”) won the Oscar for directing.This year, Sarah Polley (“Women Talking”) was left out even though her film was nominated for best picture. (Polley won for her adapted screenplay.) “I give up,” Patty Jenkins, whose directing credits include “Wonder Woman” and “Monster,” told Variety on Saturday about women being shut out of the category. “It’s still going to take a long ways to go. It’s going to take a lot more to really see truly more diverse awards.”The internationalization of the academy was on display among this year’s directing nominees. The Swedish filmmaker Ruben Östlund (“Triangle of Sadness”) and the British-born Martin McDonagh (“The Banshees of Inisherin”) were honored. Joining them were Todd Field (Tár) and the Daniels. Filling out the best director category was Spielberg — a director who was once part of that New Hollywood crew and is now a Hollywood elder statesman with nine total nominations for directing, this one for “The Fabelmans.”The academy emphasized that the ceremony would feel modern — part of an urgent effort to make the telecast more relevant to young people. The 2022 show drew 16.6 million viewers, the second-worst turnout on record after the pandemic-affected 2021 telecast. If the Nielsen ratings do not improve, the academy faces a financial precipice: Most of its revenue comes from the sale of broadcasting rights to the show. Hundreds of millions of dollars are at stake. (The most-viewed Oscars telecast was in 1998, when 57.2 million people watched “Titanic” win the trophy for best picture.)Rihanna performed her nominated song from “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.”Todd Heisler/The New York TimesBig musical stars, including Rihanna and Lady Gaga, sang their nominated songs; Lenny Kravitz performed during the “In Memoriam” segment. The best song Oscar went to “Naatu Naatu” from the Indian film “RRR.” The nominee pool for best picture had never before included more than one billion-dollar ticket seller, according to box office databases, and this year there were two. “Top Gun: Maverick” collected $1.5 billion, and “Avatar: The Way of Water” took in $2.3 billion. (Viewership tends to increase when popular films are nominated.)In another change, the red carpet was not red: Stars walked a champagne-colored rug, breaking with a 62-year tradition. The choice was made as part of an overhaul of the preshow spectacle, which, for the first time, was managed by members of the Met Gala’s creative team. In the days leading up to the Oscars, another in a series of rainstorms soaked Los Angeles, so much so that the academy sent an alert to the news media on Wednesday warning that it may “need to clear the carpet at a moment’s notice.” In the end, the weather cooperated, and it was a sunny 63 degrees. More

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      What’s on TV This Week: ‘Lucky Hank’ and ‘The Hours’

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      A new comedy series starring Bob Odenkirk comes to AMC, and the Metropolitan Opera’s adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s “Mrs. Dalloway” premieres on PBS.Between network, cable and streaming, the modern television landscape is a vast one. Here are some of the shows, specials and movies coming to TV this week, March 13-19. Details and times are subject to change.MondayPaul Newman, left, and Robert Redford in “The Sting.”Universal PicturesTHE STING (1973) 8 p.m. on TCM. Set in Illinois in the late 1930s, this seven-time Academy Award-winning comedy follows the grifter Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford) as he teams up with an experienced con artist, Henry Gondorff (Paul Newman), to take revenge on the crime boss responsible for killing their mutual friend. As their plot unfolds, however, things don’t go according to plan. “‘The Sting’ has a conventional narrative, with a conventional beginning, middle and end, but what one remembers are the set pieces of the sort that can make a slapped-together Broadway show so entertaining,” Vincent Canby wrote in his review for The New York Times.TuesdayFrom left, Tyler DiChiara, Olivia Rose Keegan, Oscar Morgan, Fallon Smythe, Navia Robinson in “Gotham Knights.”Amanda Mazonkey/CWSUPERMAN AND LOIS 8 p.m. on The CW. After defeating supervillains and monsters in season two, Clark Kent (Tyler Hoechlin) and Lois Lane (Elizabeth Tulloch) are back for a third season. Now working at The Smallville Gazette, the couple finds their peace cut short when Lois is given a dangerous undercover assignment and their sons deal with their own dilemmas. Pulled in different directions, the Kents must work to keep their family together.GOTHAM KNIGHTS 9 p.m. on The CW. Set in Gotham City, this new series follows Bruce Wayne’s adopted son, Turner Hayes (Oscar Morgan), after he is framed for Batman’s murder and forges an unlikely alliance with the children of the superhero’s enemies. With the district attorney and police chasing them, the Knights will have to save themselves and the city.WednesdayALL THE KING’S MEN (1949) 6 p.m. on TCM. Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel of the same name by Robert Penn Warren, this three-time Academy Award winning film tells the story of Willie Stark (Broderick Crawford), an ambitious politician from the rural South who campaigns against corruption, only to become corrupt himself. Loosely based on the rise and fall of Huey Long, the governor of Louisiana from 1928 to 1932, the film “follows this disillusioned fellow as he gets the hang of politics and discovers the strange intoxication of his own unprincipled charm,” Bosley Crowther wrote for The Times.ThursdayTHE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN (2022) 8 p.m. on HBO Signature. This Academy Award-nominated film from the director Martin McDonagh takes place at the tail end of the Irish Civil War in 1923 on a remote island. The lifelong friendship between Pádraic (Colin Farrell) and Colm (Brendan Gleeson) abruptly ends when Colm decides Pádraic is too dull for him. “McDonagh’s new film embellishes the cartography without necessarily breaking new ground. It’s a good place to start if you’re new to his work, and cozily — which is also to say horrifically — familiar if you’re already a fan,” A.O. Scott wrote in a review for The Times.FridayKathleen Kim and Renée Fleming stand singing onstage, surrounded by women in pastel house dresses holding bouquets of flowers. Kim is in a yellow sweater and red plaid skirt, and Fleming is in a white skirt suit.Evan Zimmerman/Metropolitan OperaGREAT PERFORMANCES AT THE MET: THE HOURS 9 p.m. on PBS. Adapted from the Pulitzer Prize-winning book and Oscar-nominated film of the same name, both inspired by Virginia Woolf’s “Mrs. Dalloway,” this opera connects a single day in the lives of three women across time: Woolf herself, writing her book; a midcentury homemaker, Laura, reading Woolf’s book; and a 1990s editor named Clarissa who, like Clarissa Dalloway, is organizing a party. “It is rendered as only opera can be: with an interplay of divas — Renée Fleming, Kelli O’Hara and Joyce DiDonato — who are enveloped by a restless and lush orchestra, and share a dream space with an ensemble of dancers who guide and observe them,” Joshua Barone wrote for The Times.SaturdayAMERICAN MASTERS: TWYLA MOVES 10:30 p.m. on WLIW21. Through original interviews, videos of Twyla Tharp at work and archival footage of select performances from her more than 160 dances, this documentary from the Emmy-winning filmmaker Steven Cantor delves into the life, career and creative process of the legendary choreographer. What’s most revelatory about the documentary, Gia Kourlas wrote for The Times, “is the way it dashes past those overarching themes to highlight something else: her wholly original dancing body. Like the woman living inside of it, it’s both meticulous and wild. This body has guts.”SundayEmilia Schüle in “Marie Antoinette.”Caroline Dubois/Canal+LUCKY HANK 9 p.m. on AMC, IFC, BBCA and SUNDANCE. Adapted from the novel “Straight Man” by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author Richard Russo, this new series is a midlife crisis tale starring the Emmy-nominated actor Bob Odenkirk (“Better Call Saul”) and Mireille Enos (“The Killing”). Narrated in the first person, William Henry “Hank” Devereaux, Jr. (Odenkirk) is the bitter chairman of the English department at a poorly funded university in rural Pennsylvania, and Enos plays his wife, Lily, who’s also questioning her life choices.MARIE ANTOINETTE 10 p.m. on PBS. This new period drama focuses on the complex life of a teenage Marie Antoinette (Emilia Schüle) as she is sent away from Austria to marry Louis XVI, the Dauphin of France (Louis Cunningham). The series follows Marie as she learns the rules of French court, tries to obey her mother — the Empress of Austria (Tony nominee Marthe Keller) — and deals with Louis’s solitary personality, all while struggling to be true to herself. More

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      Michelle Yeoh Makes Oscar History as First Asian to Win Best Actress

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      Michelle Yeoh won the best actress Oscar at Sunday night’s ceremony for her role as a beleaguered wife, mother and laundromat owner whose life is turned upside down when she is thrown into multiple parallel universes in A24’s genre-bending hit “Everything, Everywhere All at Once.” The victory makes her the first Asian star to win best actress in the 95-year history of the Academy Awards.“For all the little boys and girls who look like me watching tonight, this is a beacon of hope and possibilities,” she said in accepting her award. “This is proof that dreams — dream big, and dreams do come true. And ladies, don’t let anybody tell you you are ever past your prime. Never give up.”This was her first Oscar nomination and win after a venerated career that toggled between action-heavy roles (“Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”) and performances of regal self-containment (“Crazy Rich Asians”). Tonight, she beat out Andrea Riseborough (“To Leslie”), Cate Blanchett (“Tar”), Michelle Williams (“The Fabelmans”) and Ana de Armas (“Blonde”).Yeoh’s biggest competition came from Blanchett, who won the best actress trophy at the BAFTAs but saw her path to the winner’s circle narrow after Yeoh’s historic win at the SAG Awards, where she became the first Asian star to win the guild’s best actress prize for a film.All season long, Yeoh has spoken of the obstacles she and other Asian performers have faced in Hollywood. After the Oscar nominations were unveiled in January, she told The Times, “Of course, I’m over the moon, but I feel a little sad because I know we know there have been amazing actresses from Asia that come before me, and I stand on their shoulders.” She added, “I hope this will shatter that frigging glass ceiling to no end, that this will continue, and we will see more of our faces up there.”Here’s the full text of her acceptance speech on Sunday:Thank you. Thank you. For all the little boys and girls who look like me watching tonight, this is a beacon of hope and possibilities. This is proof that dreams — dream big, and dreams do come true. And ladies, don’t let anybody tell you you are ever past your prime. Never give up.I wouldn’t be standing here tonight without the Daniels [directors of “Everything Everywhere”], without A24, without my amazing cast and crew, without everyone who was involved with “Everything Everywhere All at Once.” I have to dedicate this to my mom, all the moms in the world. Because they are really the superheroes. And without them, none of us will be here tonight. She’s 84. And I’m taking this home to her. She’s watching right now in Malaysia, K.L., with family and friends. I love you guys. I’m bringing this home to you. And also my extended family in Hong Kong, where I started my career. Thank you for letting me stand on your shoulders, giving me a leg up so that I can be here today. And to my godchildren, to my sisters, all of them, to my brothers. Oh God. To my family, thank you. Thank you.Thank you to the Academy. This is history in the making. Thank you. More

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      Lady Gaga Wipes Off Makeup for Oscars Performance of ‘Hold My Hand’

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      After originally not even being set to perform, Lady Gaga made a big impression on Sunday night when she took the stage to sing the Oscar-nominated “Hold My Hand,” which she wrote with BloodPop for “Top Gun: Maverick.”Her red carpet look? Heavy black makeup, bold red lipstick and a see-through black corset gown fresh from the runway.Lady Gaga dressed to the nines before the show.Jutharat Pinyodoonyachet for The New York TimesBut on the Dolby Theater stage? The bright red lipstick and heavy eye makeup had been wiped off, the gown exchanged for a black T-shirt and ripped jeans. All in all, it was a decidedly more natural look. She might have been unrecognizable if not for her hair, which was still in a French braid.“It’s deeply personal for me,” she said before performing her song. “We need a lot of love to walk through this life, and we all need a hero sometimes. There’s heroes all around us in unassuming places, but you might find that you can be your own hero, even if you feel broken inside.”This isn’t the first time Gaga has opted for a minimal makeup look. She took a stripped-down approach for a shoot for T: The New York Times Style Magazine in 2016, around the time she was recording her fifth studio album, “Joanne.” More

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      Jamie Lee Curtis Wins First Oscar for Best Supporting Actress

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      After a tight three-way race, “Everything Everywhere All at Once” co-star Jamie Lee Curtis won the supporting actress Oscar at the 95th Academy Awards on Sunday night, pulling ahead of Angela Bassett (“Black Panther: Wakanda Forever”) and Kerry Condon (“The Banshees of Inisherin”).The three women have traded wins all season. Bassett initially seemed to be the favored pick after victories at the Golden Globes and Critics Choice Awards, but Condon then picked up a win from the British voting body BAFTA, while Curtis triumphed at the Screen Actors Guild Awards.In her acceptance speech on Sunday, she noted all the many people who helped in her career, and shouted, “We. Just. Won. An. Oscar. Together!”Curtis got her start in Hollywood as a scream queen in the “Halloween” franchise before segueing to bombshell roles in “Trading Places” and “True Lies.” But she played well against type in “Everything Everywhere” as a grumpy, frumpy tax auditor.The 64-year-old is the daughter of the actors Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis, who were both nominated for Oscars but never won. “To be connected through this legacy of their work and my work,” she told The Times last month, “it’s very powerful.”On Sunday, she asked the very enthusiastic audience to settle down, so she could deliver her speech without being played off. “Stop!” she told the crowd, and added, referring to the academy president: “I have 45 seconds, and I promised Janet Yang I wouldn’t do it well, because I’m a good girl.”Here’s the full text of her acceptance speech:I know it looks like I’m standing up here by myself, but I am not. I am hundreds of people. I’m hundreds of people. I am the — where are the Daniels? — Daniels [the “Everything Everywhere” directors Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert], Jonathan [Wang], Ley Line Entertainment, the entire crew, my bae Michelle [Yeoh], Ke [Huy Quan], Steph [Hsu], the entire group of artists who made this movie. We just won an Oscar!To my dream team: my agent Rick Kurtzman, Alan Wertheimer, Heidi Schaeffer, Sean James, Grace Ahn, Jane Ross. We just won an Oscar!To my family, my beautiful husband, Christopher Guest; our daughters, Annie and Ruby; my sister Kelly. We just won an Oscar! To all of the people who have supported the genre movies that I have made for all these years, the thousands and hundreds of thousands of people, we just won an Oscar together.And my mother and my father were both nominated for Oscars in different categories. I just won an Oscar. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Addressed ‘the Slap’ in His Opening Monologue

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      In naming Jimmy Kimmel the host for a third Oscars, this year’s producers, Glenn Weiss and Ricky Kirshner, cited the veteran’s readiness to handle anything that live television might throw at him.On Sunday, the late-night TV host wasted little time acknowledging recent snafus at the Oscars in an opening monologue that hyped the return of moviegoing and also included joking jabs at some of Hollywood’s most famous figures.“All the top 10 highest grossing films this year were sequels or franchises. They say Hollywood is running out of new ideas,” Kimmel said. “I mean, poor Steven Spielberg had to make a movie about Steven Spielberg.”Kimmel’s opening remarks, which lasted roughly 15 minutes, also alluded to Will Smith’s slap of Chris Rock at last year’s ceremony.“We know this is a special night for you. We want you to have fun; we want you to feel safe. And most importantly, we want me to feel safe,” he said. “So we have strict policies in place. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for best actor and permitted to give a 19-minute long speech.”“If anything unpredictable or violent happens during this ceremony, just do what you did last year,” he added. “Nothing. Sit there and do absolutely nothing.”Here is a transcript of the full monologue:Give me a second to adjust my danger zone here. My banshees are caught in my Inisherin right now.Welcome, and congratulations. Welcome to the 95th Oscars. You made it. Congratulations. I know that being here tonight is a dream come true for most of the people in this room. Thank you for inviting me to be a part of it, especially this year, when the world finally got out of the house to see the films you worked so hard to make, the way you intended them to be seen: in a theater. I also want to say that I am happy to see that Nicole Kidman has finally been released from that abandoned AMC, where she has been held captive for almost two full years now. It’s good to have you back, Nicole. And thank you for encouraging people who were already at the movie theater to go to the movie theater. You look great. Everybody looks so great. When I look around this room, I can’t help but wonder: Is Ozempic right for me?We have so many first-time nominees here. In the acting categories alone, there are 16 first-time nominees, including Jamie Lee Curtis, including Ana de Armas, Colin Farrell, Michelle Yeoh, Brendan Fraser, Ke Huy Quan. This is, I think, a great piece of Oscars trivia. Thirty-one years ago, in 1992, Brendan Fraser and Ke Huy Quan were in a movie together. Do you remember which movie it was? “Encino Man.” Two actors from “Encino Man” are nominated for Oscars. What an incredible night this must be for the two of you, and what a very difficult night for Pauly Shore. Maybe it’s time to reboot “Bio-Dome.” Why not? All the top 10 highest grossing films this year were sequels or franchises. They say Hollywood is running out of new ideas. I mean, poor Steven Spielberg had to make a movie about Steven Spielberg. Congratulations, Steven.Look at this, by the way. I want to say, right here, this is my favorite duo of the year. Steven Spielberg and Seth Rogen. What a pair. The Joe and Hunter Biden of Hollywood. Seth, what are you on right now? Be honest. Nothing? Mushrooms, right? Did you give one to Steven? Give him one. Let’s see what happens. Maybe he’ll make something crazy. Steven claims he’s never even smoked weed, which I find hard to believe. You mean to tell me you were sober when you made a movie about an alien who eats Reese’s Pieces all day and can’t remember how to phone home? You were high as a bike when you made that movie.Steven is the first director to be nominated in six different decades for an Oscar. Remarkable. This time, as you know, he is nominated for “The Fabelmans,” which is by far his most personal film. They say, “Write what you know.” And they say, also, “Write what you know your mom did with your dad’s best friend.” And Steven did that, and the result was yet another Oscar nomination for the great Michelle Williams, who is right there. And “The Fabelmans” wasn’t an easy shoot for Michelle. After almost every take, Spielberg would rush up to her with tears in his eyes, and he’d scream, “That’s not how Mommy said it!”I also want to extend congratulations to Steven’s longtime collaborator, the maestro John Williams, who is now the oldest nominee in Oscar history. And he looks great. John turned 91 years old last month and he’s still scoring, if you know what I mean. And by the way, if you’ve never made love to the score from “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” do yourself a favor. Only Walt Disney — this is great — only Walt Disney has been nominated for more Oscars than John Williams. He’s been nominated 53 times; he’s won five. Which, honestly, is not that great. But good luck tonight.It was a very good year for movies. Business is booming. I know people like to debate now which is better, movies or TV, but here’s the thing. No matter how good a show is, there are some things movies can do that TV just can’t. For example, a TV show can’t lose $100 million. Is the gang from “Babylon” here? They know. I was just asking if they were here. I was welcoming them. At least “Babylon” got released. In August, Batgirl became the first superhero to be defeated by an accounting department. And then we have the big one: the long, long, long awaited “Avatar: The Way of Water,” which gave the director and producer Jim Cameron another opportunity to do what he loves to do more than anything else: drowning Kate Winslet. The sequel to “Avatar” is the most expensive movie ever made. Disney spent $2 billion on this movie. Just to break even, all of Nick Cannon’s kids had to see “Avatar” four times. And they did, I guess. James Cameron is not here, by the way, tonight. You know a show is too long when even James Cameron can’t sit through it. Some of the cynics are saying Jim Cameron isn’t here because he didn’t get a best director nomination. And while I find that very hard to believe about a man of such deep humility, he does have a point. I mean, how does the Academy not nominate the guy who directed “Avatar”? What do they think he is, a woman? Thank you, ladies.It was some year for diversity and inclusion. We have nominees from every corner of Dublin. Five Irish actors are nominated tonight, which means the odds of another fight onstage just went way up.And while we’re on the subject of diversity, I want to say, especially those of you watching at home, there are a number of excellent films and performances that were not nominated tonight, including “Till” and “The Woman King,” which are both based on true stories, with great performances from Danielle Deadwyler and Viola Davis, that are very worthy of your time if you haven’t seen them, as is a small independent film called “Top Gun: Maverick.” The movie that saved the movies. Everyone loved “Top Gun.” Everybody. I mean, Tom Cruise with his shirt off in that beach football scene? L. Ron Hubba Hubba, you know what I’m saying? You know, Tom and James Cameron didn’t show up tonight. The two guys who insisted we go to the theater didn’t come to the theater. So if you’re hoping to get a look at Tom Cruise, he is not here. Or maybe he is here. Maybe that’s Tom Cruise right there, wearing a Judd Hirsch “Mission Impossible” mask. There’s only one way to find out for sure. Judd, we’re going to need you to drive a motorcycle off the roof of the theater.You know who else is here, the right excellent Rihanna is with us tonight. Rihanna got her first Oscar nomination for the song “Lift Me Up” from “Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.” Last month, she performed at the Super Bowl, and tonight, Rihanna will be performing at our halftime in just about four and a half hours from now. Rihanna has a 9-month-old backstage, and he’s very cute. He pooped during rehearsal. You know who the last person who pooped backstage at the Oscars was? That accountant who mixed up the envelopes.Rihanna is here, Lady Gaga is here, wonderful. My God, even Elvis is in the building tonight. There he is, Austin Butler. Austin, as you know, is a first-time nominee. He was so convincing as Elvis, still is. This is a good Hollywood story: Before they started shooting “Elvis,” Tom Hanks gave Austin a vintage typewriter as a gift and in it, Tom wrote, he left a note written from Col. Tom Parker to Elvis. So then Austin used the typewriter to write Tom back as Elvis Presley. And they got to know each other by sending letters back and forth as Elvis and Tom. Which just goes to show you how incredibly silly this all is. We have silly jobs. But Austin, you are so talented. I know Elvis would’ve loved your performance; in fact, according to my QAnon Reddit page, he did.We know this is a special night for you. We want you to have fun; we want you to feel safe. And most importantly, we want me to feel safe. So we have strict policies in place. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any point during the show, you will be awarded the Oscar for best actor and permitted to give a 19-minute-long speech. No, but seriously. The Academy has a crisis team in place. If anything unpredictable or violent happens during the ceremony, just do what you did last year: nothing. Sit there and do absolutely nothing. Maybe even give the assailant a hug. And if any of you get mad at a joke and decide you want to come up here and get jiggy with it, it’s not going to be easy. There are a few of my friends you’re going to have to get through first. You’re going to have to get through the heavyweight champ Adonis Creed before you get to me. You’re going to have to do battle with Michelle Yeoh before you get to me. You’re going to have to beat the Mandalorian before you get to me. You’re going to have to tangle with Spider-Man. You are going to have to tangle with Fabelman. And then you’re going to have to go through my right-hand man, Guillermo, if you want to get up to this stage. Oh, wait a minute. The other Guillermo. Not del Toro. Yes, that one. OK, there you go. I know he’s cute, but make no mistake. You even so much as wave at me, that sweet little man will beat the Lydia Tár out of you.There will be no nonsense tonight. We have no time for shenanigans. This is a celebration of everyone here. You told us you wanted all the categories back in, and we listened. They’re all back in. We will be showing all 23 categories live tonight, except for one. Earlier tonight, best picture went to “All Quiet on the Western Front.” Congratulations to Germany. We put all the categories back in, because the movie community wanted it. Almost as much as the television community didn’t want it. So no complaining about how long the show is. I saw all your movies. Now it’s my turn to make you sit in a theater for three and a half hours. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear you speak; we do. We want your speeches to be moving. We also want to keep it moving. So if your speech goes on too long, this year, we’re not going to play you offstage. Instead, we have a group of performers from the movie “RRR” who are going to dance you offstage. If you go too long, we’re going to Bollywood “Gong Show” your ass. So let’s get this going. Please welcome our first presenters of the night, Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt. More