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      Trevor Noah Says Omicron Might Not Be So Bad

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      Noah said that new strains are like streaming new TV shows: “You gotta stick with it the first couple of weeks and see where it goes.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Next Week on OmicronThe first Covid cases with the new Omicron strain have been reported in the United States.Trevor Noah encouraged viewers not to freak out just yet, saying, “We have no idea if Omicron is actually that bad.”“And what I mean by that is, we don’t know if it might spread more easily or we don’t know if it will be more deadly. It’s just too early to know. And I hate to sound like someone describing every streaming show right now, but you gotta stick with it the first couple of weeks and see where it goes.” — TREVOR NOAH“Yesterday, we learned the first Omicron case on U.S. soil was found in California, which led the state’s secretary of health and human services to claim Californians were proud to have identified the first Omicron case. Good for you, Golden State. You put that kind of positive spin on all your disasters: ‘Greetings from California, home of extra-crispy trees.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Unfortunately, that’s not the only case. Today, a second case of the Omicron variant was identified in Minnesota. But do not panic — it’s just one person in America’s heartland, who recently traveled to New York City. OK, OK fine but maybe he was here on business, spent most of his time alone in his hotel getting takeout and staring pensively out the window at all the people he wasn’t infecting — right after he attended the 2021 anime convention at the Javits Center.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, one of the first U.S. cases of the new Covid variant may be an adult man who attended an anime convention. I mean, which is good. At least we know that it’s not transmitted via eye contact.” — TREVOR NOAH“But people, please remember this, please remember this, we shouldn’t be surprised when we find more and more cases, OK? Because Omicron is like those microscopic bugs that live in your eyelashes: Even if you don’t see them, you know that they’re there. Yeah, laughing at you about all the spiders that crawl into your mouth while you sleep.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Getting Lit Edition)“Well, guys, tonight in Washington, D.C., President Biden attended the 99th annual national Christmas tree lighting. Meanwhile, the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree was like, ‘Uh, yeah, sure, that’s the national Christmas tree.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The event was hosted by LL Cool J. Originally Snoop was supposed to host, but he canceled once he found out it wasn’t the kind of tree lighting he was used to.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And this was special — a real-life Elf on the Shelf made an appearance. Yeah, he got up and said, ‘For the last time, my name is Pete Buttigieg.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Then organizers said, ‘Sorry, here’s the real Elf on the Shelf,’ and then he got up and said, ‘I’m sorry, for the last time, my name is Dr. Fauci.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingTracy Morgan talks about why he’s going back onstage on Thursday’s “Desus & Mero.”Also, Check This OutRebecca ClarkeBette Midler shared her love of classics like “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” and Charles Dickens, among others, in this week’s By the Book. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Trump’s Covid Test Is the Only Positive Thing He’s Done

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      Late-night hosts weighed in on Donald Trump’s initial results just three days before his debate with Joe Biden.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.On Whose Honor?In his new book, Mark Meadows, former President Donald Trump’s chief of staff, wrote that Trump tested positive for the coronavirus before his first debate with Joe Biden in 2020.“Sadly, testing positive for Covid was the only positive thing he did in four years as president,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Wednesday night.Mark Meadows, left, has written a book about his time in the White House, where he served as chief of staff of Donald Trump when he was president.Al Drago/Reuters“Meadows wrote that when he informed Trump he’d tested positive, Trump replied, ‘Oh, [expletive], you gotta be [expletive] kidding me,’ which is what most of us said when he was elected president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Fox should not have let him debate. Joe Biden is 143 years old. The debate moderator, Chris Wallace, is no spring chicken, either. He said they were relying on the honor system, which, you’re relying on the honor system with Donald Trump? You might as well rely on the Dewey decimal system.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The honor system? How can you rely on the honor system when you know he doesn’t have any? That’s like meeting with Vladimir Putin and relying on the shirt system.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Have you met Donald Trump? ‘Do you promise you’re negative, guy who ran a fake university?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You can’t go wrong when you bet on the former president lying. It’s just one of those certainties in life — and him not paying taxes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And if you do the math on the Covid, it means Trump had it at that little soiree he threw for Judge Amy Coney Barrett, after which at least eight people who were there tested positive. I wonder who they got it from? I wonder whose tiny hand they all shook at that party?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m not saying that Trump was trying to assassinate Joe Biden, but he definitely wasn’t going out of his way to avoid it.” — TREVOR NOAH“That explains why Trump originally wanted to end the Biden debate with a long, drawn-out kiss.” — JAMES CORDEN“Trump participated in the debate despite testing positive. Or, as Fox News is spinning it, ‘President Trump battled on heroically, and graciously shared his exclusive strain of Covid with a stage full of ungrateful libs.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Signing Off Edition)“CNN has suspended Chris Cuomo indefinitely for his role in advising his brother, Andrew Cuomo, during his recent scandal. Yeah, Chris Cuomo knew something was up when CNN added a suspension countdown clock.” — JIMMY FALLON“On the one hand, this is a story about a guy helping his brother in a time of crisis. And, I mean, who wouldn’t do that for their brother? Because you’ve got to remember, brother is the top level of male relationship. Yeah, it goes brother, my dude, homey, this guy and stepdad.” — TREVOR NOAH“Of course, it does matter and it does make a difference how you help your brother and what you’re helping him with. Like, if your brother murdered somebody, you can either help him get the best lawyer in the country, or you can help him bury the body. I mean, both make you a good brother, but one makes you an accessory after the fact.” — TREVOR NOAH“And, people, that’s not what CNN is about. CNN is about sitting 12 people together at a desk and having them yell at each other about whether Adele’s Las Vegas residency is going to hurt Biden’s poll numbers or not.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingThis week’s “Tonight Show” hashtags featured viewers’ travel fails.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightMahershala Ali (a.k.a. Marvel’s new Blade) will chat with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMel Brooks in “High Anxiety,” 1977.Jim Palmer/Associated PressMel Brooks keeps things light in his new memoir, “All About Me!” More

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      Late Night Doesn’t Feel Great About Omicron

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      Moderna’s chief executive said scientists anticipate Omicron is “not going to be good.” Stephen Colbert called the sentiment “not comforting.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Outlook Not So GoodIn a recent interview, the C.E.O. of Moderna said scientists he’s spoken to about the new Covid variant, Omicron, agree “it’s not going to be good.”“Like, not comforting, science. Reminds me of that famous sugar-free gum slogan: ‘Four out of five dentists agree: What’s the point of chewing gum? Death comes for us all,’” Stephen Colbert said.“It’s kind of like when the trailer for the movie ‘Cats’ came out — the only thing we knew was ‘Well, it’s not going to be good.’ But we didn’t know the extent of how not good it would be.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But no one knows for sure, so both Pfizer and Moderna are testing how well their vaccines protect against Omicron. Unfortunately, they won’t know the results for two weeks, at the earliest. Evidently, the scientists are stuck in a container off the coast of China.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now look, I’m not saying the C.E.O. of Moderna is lying — I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying I don’t think he’s the most objective source on this topic. I’ll wait to hear what neutral experts say about a new vaccine. People like public health officials, or the C.E.O. of Johnson & Johnson. I mean, he’s got nothing to gain ’cause nobody’s going to buy his vaccines either way, so I trust him.” — TREVOR NOAH“And I wish they would hurry up, because I need to know what I’m doing in two weeks from now, you know? Should I be buying my ‘Spider-Man’ tickets or learning how to hunt and cook wild animals? Or should I split the difference and buy ‘Spider-Man’ tickets for the wild animals?” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Working on It Edition)“Following the news on the Omicron variant, the C.D.C. is now saying that all adults should get a booster shot. Right now, Instagram is like, ‘Incoming booster selfies in three, two, one.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And now for the bad news: Omicron does appear to be evading vaccines. It’s a scientific phenomenon known as Aaron Rodgers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Well, guys, Pfizer and Moderna both say that they’re already working on vaccines for the Omicron variant, while Johnson & Johnson is cheering them on.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Johnson & Johnson is like, ‘Guys, I thought we promised we’re not doing vaccines this year — why would you embarrass me?’” — JIMMY FALLON“How’d they start working on this so fast, too? It’s like when a team wins the Super Bowl, and the first commercial is, ‘Buy your Buccaneers championship hat now!’” — JIMMY FALLON“And also if we do need a new vaccine for this new variant, it’s not a big deal, all right, people? I see people online being like, ‘We’re gonna get a new shot every year?’ Yeah, you know what? Maybe to not die you need to take 15 minutes out of your year. What, is your life so busy that you don’t have time for that? I guarantee you, at some point in the next year, you will walk by a CVS. Unless you live in the desert — then it’s gonna be like a five-minute walk to a CVS.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel defended Dr. Fauci in his Tuesday night monologue.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightCate Blanchett will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show” to talk about her new film, “Nightmare Alley.”Also, Check This OutLady Gaga as Patrizia Reggiani in “House of Gucci.”Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures Inc. The Guccis aren’t happy about the family portrayal in “House of Gucci.” More

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      Trevor Noah: ‘Covid Turned the Planet Into a Frat House’

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      The latest Covid variant, Omicron, follows Alpha, Lambda and Delta in the Greek alphabet.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Covid’s Greatest HitsTrevor Noah dug into the new Covid variant on Monday night, touching on Omicron’s disturbingly high number of mutations, which make it potentially more dangerous than the others.“Yes, it’s all the greatest hits in one place, like if ‘Mamma Mia’ killed you instead of teaching you about the power of love,” Noah joked on Monday night.“For most of 2021, the world has been fighting the various Covid variants, which are more than the OG from Wuhan. We had Alpha, we had Lambda, we had Delta — Covid basically turned the planet into the [expletive] frat house of all time.” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, how did that happen after everything we did? I mean, for two years now, people, we wore masks for some of the time, we social distanced when it was convenient, then like half of us got vaccinated — what more is it gonna take?” — TREVOR NOAH“And it could be that all of these mutations that sound so scary turn out to be not that big a deal, you know? Like when Apple acts like it is making tons of changes to the iPhone and we’re like, ‘I need a new iPhone! I need a new iPhone!’ and you get it and you’re like, ‘Wait — it’s just a slightly different camera? I killed a man in line for this thing!’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Omicron Edition)“Omicron — it sounds like a Transformer who can’t smell or taste.” — JIMMY FALLON“Experts are hoping it ends up being like the second season of ‘Tiger King’ where everybody talks about it, but nobody actually experiences it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trying to guess where it will strike next is fun. It’s like, ‘Where in the world is Covid San Diego’?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, we need another variant like we another turkey sandwich for lunch.” — JIMMY FALLON“But the White House said it would take two weeks to have definitive data on the new strain. That’s right, even our Covid information has shipping delays. Unbelievable!” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert demands more Hanukkah-themed holiday films like “A Whole Latke Love.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightMaya Rudolph will surely get roped into something fun with her pal Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutDo you hear what they hear? The cabaret duo Justin Vivian Bond (Kiki), left, and Kenny Mellman (Herb), are performing their first holiday show together in 14 years.Eric McNattAfter 14 years, Justin Vivian Bond and Kenny Mellman are resurrecting Kiki and Herb for Christmas. More

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      Late Night Shares Juicy Passages From 'Betrayal'

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      Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers reported some of the most interesting items from Jonathan Karl’s new book.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Best of ‘Betrayal’Jonathan Karl’s “Betrayal” was published on Tuesday, and late night shared a few of that book’s juicier items regarding former President Trump and Jan. 6, including some tidbits about Michael Flynn and his call for the military to stop Joe Biden from taking office.“Remember, this was a former general making a call to the military demanding they support a fascist coup. What is wrong with him? It’s 2021 — just text!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to a new book, former Acting Defense Secretary Christopher Miller purposely offered, then presented, Trump extreme military scenarios in the final week of his presidency to prevent him from choosing to attack Iran. Unfortunately, he opted for the craziest one — attacking the U.S.” — SETH MEYERS“After the election, [Sidney] Powell contacted a Pentagon official to push the claim that the C.I.A. director had been hurt and taken into custody in Germany while ‘on a secret mission to destroy evidence of voter fraud on a computer server that belonged to a company named Scytl.’ Where did Powell get this urgent news? From a false conspiracy theory that had been gaining steam among QAnon followers. Oh, yeah, that theory is definitely steaming.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Antique Roadshow Edition)“Yesterday, President Biden signed his bipartisan infrastructure bill into law, and to tell everyone about it today, he kicked off a road show to showcase the benefits of the bill. It’s like ‘The Antiques Road Show’ if the road was the antique.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And, guys, why do they have to sign the bill in public? I mean, I know this is important legislation, but as a spectator sport, it’s pretty boring. Where’s the drama? ‘Ooh, maybe the pen will run out of ink!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, why are they even having a bill-signing celebration? Passing laws is their job. Nobody else gets to do that at their job. Like, after you make photocopies for your boss at the office, you don’t get to pose for pictures while shaking hands: [imitating boss] ‘I didn’t think you could get it double-sided. Well done, Billy, well done.’” — TREVOR NOAH“During the signing ceremony yesterday for the bipartisan infrastructure bill, President Biden twice referred to Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema as ‘Kristen.’ And that’s the worst thing you can call her besides a Democrat — she hates that.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon showed off pets that pack suitcases and chug beers better than he can.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightAdam Driver, a “House of Gucci” star, will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutLisa Law/Apple TV+ Todd Haynes’s “The Velvet Underground” is a deep dive on the New York demimonde that birthed the band, and also a reflection on the cinema and art of the day. More

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      Seth Meyers: Steve Bannon Fancies Himself to Be Logan Roy

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      Meyers said Bannon was more like “a coked-up flunky who would get hired to help cousin Greg shred some documents and accidentally screw it up.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.More Like Cousin SteveSteve Bannon turned himself in to the F.B.I. on Monday morning after refusing to provide information related to the events of Jan. 6. Bannon made a statement in which he referred to himself as “Captain Bannon” and promoted his political podcast.Seth Meyers, referring to the hit HBO series “Succession,” joked that Bannon “definitely likes to think of himself as a Logan Roy type, but he’s more like a coked-up flunky who would get hired to help cousin Greg shred some documents and accidentally screw it up.”“Right now, a congressional committee is trying to determine if President Trump and allies were involved in the violent attempt to overturn the election, and one of the people they most want to hear from is Steve Bannon, former Trump adviser and the only person who maybe should try horse dewormer. I mean, it couldn’t hurt.” — TREVOR NOAH“Steve Bannon might finally face justice and, if he goes to prison, take a shower.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Bannon was indicted Friday on two charges of criminal contempt after he refused to show up for a deposition ordered by the House Jan. 6 committee. When he turned himself in, the F.B.I. were like, ‘Oh, really, do we have to? We have to take him?’” — JAMES CORDEN“And like any innocent person, Trump told his people not to cooperate with law enforcement at all. So Bannon defied a congressional subpoena to testify, and this morning, he turned himself in, arriving at an F.B.I. office looking like he’d already served 10 years in prison.” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, it really undercuts your attempt at defiance and bravado when there’s a guy right behind you holding up a sign that says ‘Coup plotter.’” — SETH MEYERS“Steve, did you hear what he said about you the second it was convenient? Respect yourself and move on!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Trump’s disparaging comments about Bannon“Bannon, though, already has a plan if he does get sent to prison. His first day there he is just going to go up to the biggest, meanest, worst guy in the entire yard and help him get elected president in 2024.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (The P Word Edition)“Wow, Trump is gangster. [imitating Trump] ‘Why would I dispute it? The guy is a total [expletive] — why would I dispute it?’” — TREVOR NOAH, on Trump’s refusal to dispute that he told Mike Pence he “could be a patriot or he could be a [expletive]” on the morning of Jan. 6“Well, we all know the word for someone who does exactly what their bully tells them to do: patriot.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know what I love about Trump is that even if he didn’t say it, he’s the type of guy that would pretend he said it just because it sounded cool. [imitating Trump] ‘Yeah, yeah, that’s a good line. I totally said it, I said it. Patriot or [expletive], I love it.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, I love how the reporter says, ‘Excuse my language; excuse my language, sir,’ as if Donald Trump is going to be offended. My man, it’s Donald Trump — if anything, he would be like, [imitating Trump] ‘[Expletive], my favorite topic. Thank you for bringing this up, let’s talk about it.” — TREVOR NOAH“Sometimes it’s good to be a [expletive]. Oftentimes history is made by [expletive]. I mean Gandhi? total [expletive]. Yes. Britain was, like, ‘Are you going to fight us or are you a [expletive]? And Gandhi said, ‘I am a [expletive]. You must be the [expletive] you wish to see in the world — that is what we need more of.’” — TREVOR NOAH“What if he tried to grab Mike Pence by the patriot?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Mike Pence now claims he has no problems at all with his former boss, so I guess Trump was right.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingBill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson talked with Jimmy Fallon on Monday’s “Tonight Show” about reuniting for the newest movie in the “Ghostbusters” franchise.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe retired N.B.A. star Dwyane Wade will talk about his new memoir on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “The Sex Lives of College Girls,” Alyah Chanelle Scott, Pauline Chalamet and Amrit Kaur play three suite mates from diverse backgrounds at a prestigious university.HBOMindy Kaling’s new HBO Max series, “The Sex Lives of College Girls,” treats undergraduate intimacy with the friendly skepticism it deserves. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Tickled by a Judge’s Takedown of Trump

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      “I haven’t seen such a brutal attack on an elected official since Jan. 6,” Colbert said on Wednesday night.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Motion DeniedA judge ruled this week that Donald J. Trump can’t prevent the release of files related to the Capitol attack, saying of Trump that “presidents are not kings, and plaintiff is not president.”“Damn! I have not seen such a brutal attack on an elected official since Jan. 6,” Stephen Colbert said.“The last time Trump got a spanking like that was with a copy of Forbes magazine by Stormy Daniels.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That is the worst denial for the former president since any time he tried to hold his wife’s hand.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now Trump’s legal team is going to have to figure out what to obstruct next. At this point Trump’s lawyers are, like, the losingest team in history, of any team ever. More than the Clippers. More than the Lions. More than the Washington Generals. And the Globetrotters beat them, like, 5,000 games in a row.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You think anyone ever took notes in a meeting with Trump? When they finally subpoena those notepads, they’re just going to be filled with random doodles and inscrutable comments like, ‘Ingest bleach maybe?’” — SETH MEYERS“And there’s no way Trump himself ever wrote anything down. He never even wrote any of his own books. They were ghostwritten, which I’m sure Trump took literally. [imitating Trump] ‘I didn’t write it — a ghost did, and I was pretty disappointed when I met the ghost. They said, ‘Donald, we’re getting you a ghostwriter,’ and I was hoping for a Slimer or, even better, a Patrick Swayze.” — SETH MEYERSHigh Price to PayInflation in America has reached a 30-year high. On “The Daily Show,” Trevor Noah looked for a silver lining.“The only good part of inflation — I was always jealous of those old guys who would go, like, ‘Back in my day, you could buy a house with a dollar!’ It looks like now if inflation gets bad enough, we’ll get to be those old guys: ‘Oh, yeah? Back in my day, a million dollars could buy a whole lot more than just a haircut!’” — TREVOR NOAH“I feel like a million bucks, and that’s not nearly enough, because everything is getting so expensive.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“All your favorite stuff is more expensive. Prices have gone up for autos, energy, furniture, rent and medical care. That is terrible! One of my favorite things is being mobile, warm, comfortable, dry and alive.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is a big danger to Biden politically, because inflation is the one economic concept that normal people actually care about. Like, the debt ceiling, the Federal Reserve, derivatives — that’s all just [expletive] we pretend to understand: [mocking] ‘The debt ceiling, the debt ceiling.’ But when you hear inflation is rising, you know it means you’re about to be a broke [expletive].” — TREVOR NOAH“OK, how much more bad news is Biden going to get? At the end of the month, we’re going to find out the turkey he pardoned was at the Capitol on Jan. 6.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines ($33.80 Edition)“Yesterday, the N.F.L. fined Rodgers and the Packers for violating Covid-19 protocols. Phew. Now that Covid protocols are being enforced, we can get back to safely enjoying the beautiful game of 300-pound men crushing each other’s spines like a sleeve of Ritz crackers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT on the Green Bay Packers and their quarterback Aaron Rodgers“Rodgers attended a Halloween party despite being unvaccinated, for which the N.F.L. fined him $14,650. Which sounds like a lot of money, but it’s the equivalent of fining an average American $33.80 — or one beer at a Packers game.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Just to put that in perspective, CeeDee Lamb of the Cowboys was fined more than $15,000 for having an untucked jersey. So once again, the league’s priorities are in perfect order.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee celebrated the passing of the infrastructure bill on Wednesday’s “Full Frontal.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightTaylor Swift will perform on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutDaniel Kaluuya in Jordan Peele’s “Get Out.” Universal Pictures/courtesy of Everett CollectionFrom “Get Out” to the recent “Candyman” sequel, Black horror has become America’s most powerful cinematic genre. More

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      Late Night Goes After Ted Cruz for Going After Big Bird

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      Jimmy Kimmel said conservatives like Ted Cruz have some bizarre beliefs: “The elections are rigged, the deep state runs the world, and Big Bird is working for Merck now.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Birds of a FeatherLate night couldn’t get enough of Ted Cruz claiming Big Bird was spreading “government propaganda for your 5-year-old” over the weekend. Cruz angrily shared his response in a retweet of Big Bird’s announcement about receiving a Covid vaccine.Jimmy Kimmel said conservatives like Cruz truly believe sentiments like the one he shared: “The elections are rigged, the deep state runs the world, and Big Bird is working for Merck now.”“All right, first of all, Ted Cruz, you need to calm down. Five-year-olds aren’t even seeing Big Bird’s tweet. Five-year-olds aren’t even on Twitter — they’re on TikTok.” — TREVOR NOAH“This is the craziest anti-vax Muppet outrage since they claimed Pfizer gave the Swedish Chef giant meatballs.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And it’s interesting because not only is Ted Cruz vaccinated himself, Ted Cruz was born with an immunity that protects him from contracting any friends.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m surprised Cruz is at odds with Big Bird here. They have so much in common: When it gets cold, they both fly south.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Ted Cruz has it in for ‘Sesame Street’ because he’s constantly getting mistaken for the Count.” — JAMES CORDEN“I have to admit it’s a tough one. I mean, who are you siding with, the beloved and iconic children’s character widely celebrated over a half a century by people of all ages and backgrounds from all parts of the world, or a widely disliked wannabe werewolf with the charm of a serial killer and the voice of a dying barn owl who was once called ‘Lucifer in the flesh’ by one of his fellow Republicans after another fellow Republican joked he was so unpopular you could murder him and get away with it.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s a big day, actually, for Big Bird because immediately after getting vaccinated, he was signed by the Green Bay Packers.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Spotty Defense Edition)“The pope of Green Bay is quarterback Aaron Rodgers. He’s been playing some very spotty defense this weekend.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He said he tested negative over 300 times before testing positive, which is the same kind of logic your 95-year-old grandmother uses to justify keeping her driver’s license.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So Rodgers basically says that he’s an independent thinker who doesn’t want to be told what to do with his body. And I don’t know, you ever notice how all the independent thinkers are doing the exact same thing? Right? It’s not like they’re all coming up with different ideas, like, ‘I’m an independent thinker, what are my thoughts, Joe Rogan? Tell me about my independent thoughts!” — TREVOR NOAH“But you can tell how politics has just infected the entire vaccine debate, right, because you’ll never see Aaron Rodgers doing this to anything else. He’s never applying independent thinking to the rest of his body. Like just once I’d love to see him out there on the field, like, ‘Forget pads and helmets, I’ve decided to cover myself in manuka honey.’” — TREVOR NOAH“How does someone who almost hosted ‘Jeopardy’ come up with 40 incorrect responses in a row?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“A lot of people are also comparing Aaron Rodgers to Kyrie Irving, and that’s not fair. Kyrie Irving is wrong, but at least he’s honest. I mean, Aaron Rodgers let everyone around him think he was vaccinated when he wasn’t. He’s not Kyrie Irving, he’s Bernie Madoff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But there are real victims here. And yes, I’m talking about those of us who play fantasy sports. Because it used to be when you drafted players you only had to take into account their injury history or their team’s off-season moves. Now — now you’ve got to be like, ‘OK, what are the chances that this player gets his news from Facebook?’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingTrevor Noah talked with the “Daily Show” guest Spike Lee about his new career-spanning book, “SPIKE.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightSarah Silverman will catch up with Seth Meyers on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutViolah Beauvais, left, and Kiawentiio in a scene from Tracey Deer’s film “Beans.”Sebastien Raymond/FilmriseTracey Deer’s film “Beans” is based on her experiences during the 1990 Oka crisis, a confrontation between the Mohawk people and the government. More