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    Late Night Hosts Declare Harris the Winner in the Debate

    Stephen Colbert said that the vice president needed to “rattle Trump’s cage. And now that it is over, they are still looking for pieces of his cage in low orbit.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Best in ShowOn Tuesday, Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump met for their only scheduled debate before the election. Three of the five late-night shows went live after it ended, with Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Jon Stewart offering their takes.Colbert said that Harris “came out swinging,” looking to “rattle Trump’s cage.”“And now that it is over, they are still looking for pieces of his cage in low orbit.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Harris got under his skin like she was stuffing in butter and rosemary. It was beautiful. By the end of the debate, the meat was falling off the bone.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Usually when Donald Trump gets a spanking like this from a woman, it’s with a Forbes magazine. Kamala was pushing his buttons like a 12-year-old playing Fortnite.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He was so nonsensical that she looked at him the way a parent looks at a kid giving a presentation on why they should be allowed to get a pet tiger.” — STEPHEN COLBERTOn “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart called out Trump for his answer to a question about his involvement in the Jan. 6. insurrection.“You spent two months riling up your base that our country had literally been stolen from them through fraudulent means, that you could never even get a whiff of in a court of law, and let — let yourself just abuse them. You pressed on. You abused their trust. You showed up for a speech? You [expletive] tweeted ‘Join me on Jan. 6. It will be wild.’ But suddenly now: ‘I was just a hired magician to do the bar mitzvah! I didn’t do anything. I showed up with a hat and a rabbit and then the whole party went out of control!’” — JON STEWART“And this is it, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t know if this debate is going to change anything. I really don’t. People are awfully set in the manner that they view these proceedings. What I think is a home-run answer for one candidate, someone else views as a dodge or a lie or any of those other things. In some ways, it doesn’t matter what they say anymore, but one thing will always be true, and it is the quality of the former president I respect the least: Whenever he is cornered and forced to face even the smallest of consequences for his own mendacity and scheming, he reverts to the greatest refuge of scoundrels. As Shaggy would say, ‘It wasn’t me!’” — JON STEWART“[imitating Trump] OK, but you can’t believe a thing I say. I’m crazy! Everybody knows that! I’m the Hannibal Lecter whale guy. Immigrants are taking our cats and giving them operations to turn them into dogs and then eating the dogs. Whale!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lock Up Your Dogs Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jon Stewart Recaps a Pretty Eventful Week in Politics

    “In the span of a week, Democrats have gone from the despair of a certain Trump presidency to the joy of a statistical tie,” Stewart said on “The Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Ref! Ref! Open Your Eyes!’Jon Stewart, back on “The Daily Show” after a hiatus, had a lot of catching up to do on Monday.“In the span of a week, Democrats have gone from the despair of a certain Trump presidency to the joy of a statistical tie.” — JON STEWARTThe swift rise of Kamala Harris as the Democrats’ likely nominee after President Biden’s withdrawal got a lot of reaction from conservatives on cable TV. Stewart surveyed the responses, which ranged from calling it a “coup” to suggesting that Harris, because she has Indian roots, isn’t really Black.“[Imitating a conservative pundit:] ‘Two races? In one person? Now I’ve seen everything. I heard she sent her DNA to 23 and Me, and it broke the computer. I don’t know what to do! Goodness gracious.’ If these people ever saw a Pizza Hut/Taco Bell, they’d lose their [expletive] minds: ‘What is this, a D.E.I. restaurant?’” — JON STEWART“But I get it! If I thought I had this thing in the bag, and you were going to be going up against old Joe Biden, and then they pull this, I’d be like, ‘Ref! Ref! Open your eyes! How can you not see they’re coup-ing? They’re coup-ing!’” — JON STEWART“[Imitating Donald Trump:] Do you have any idea how much money on “Let’s Go Brandon” ear bandages I’ve spent?” — JON STEWART“Your candidate’s Donald Trump. His catchphrase is literally, ‘You’re fired!’ He’s the Anna Wintour of authoritarian wannabes. Donald Trump hired 44 cabinet members — 75 percent of them want nothing to do with the guy. His secretary of state called him a [expletive] moron. His chief of staff said, ‘He’s the most flawed person I’ve ever met.’ You know why he needs a new vice-presidential running mate? I’ll tell you why — he tried to get the last one killed.” — JON STEWART, responding to pundits’ allegations that Harris is an unpleasant boss“But you know what? I do understand that they’re upset. It makes sense. So how about we do this? Out of fairness. I’m a fair person. You can replace your old guy, too!” — JON STEWARTThe Bits Worth WatchingPresident Biden’s transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, talked about Harris and other things on “The Daily Show.” (The other shows are taking the week off, incidentally.)What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJon M. Chu, the director of “Wicked,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutMarina Abramovic “embracing” the ocean on Fire Island in early 2024. Marco AnelliAt 77, the performance artist Marina Abramovic is creating new work with plans to continue past 100. More

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    Barbra Streisand, Spike Lee and Other Stars Endorse Harris

    Barbra Streisand lent her support to Vice President Kamala Harris on Monday, becoming the latest in a series of high-profile stars and celebrities who have coalesced around her candidacy since President Biden endorsed her as his successor.“President Biden and Vice President Harris ushered this nation out of the Trump chaos,” she said in a statement to The New York Times on Monday. “I’m so grateful to President Biden and so excited to support Kamala Harris. She will work to restore women’s reproductive freedom and continue with the accomplishments begun in the Biden-Harris administration.”Ms. Streisand praised Mr. Biden as “an honorable and compassionate leader” and called former President Donald J. Trump “a convicted felon” and a “pathological liar” who had been found liable for sexual assault and who had “incited an insurrection against our democracy.”Endorsements from Hollywood’s most recognizable figures can add cultural cache to candidates, and have traditionally helped campaigns raise money, turn out crowds at rallies and generate excitement on social media. Some campaigns have been leery of appearing too close to celebrities, fearing accusations of elitism. Both parties seek them; at the Republican National Convention last week, Hulk Hogan, Kid Rock and Dana White were among the celebrities supporting Mr. Trump.Since Mr. Biden announced he would not seek re-election, some stars have praised his decision, others have gotten behind Ms. Harris, and a few who made their views known earlier in the cycle have stayed quiet. Here’s a look at where some notable names in Hollywood now stand:George ClooneyMr. Clooney’s essay in The New York Times this month calling on Mr. Biden to not seek re-election rattled the Biden team and dealt a highly visible blow to the campaign at a particularly vulnerable moment, underscoring the power that stars can wield.A spokesman for Mr. Clooney said on Monday that the actor was not commenting on the latest developments in the race.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jon Stewart Razzes a ‘Daily Show’ Guest: Bill O’Reilly

    The former Fox host, a longtime foil of the show, said he knew he had “no friends here.” “Well, not just here,” Stewart replied.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sparring Partners“The Daily Show” was supposed to be in Milwaukee for the Republican National Convention this week, but the attempt on Donald Trump’s life changed that. “What a terrible [expletive] week,” Jon Stewart said as he opened Tuesday’s show from New York.“‘Hey Jon, come back to ‘The Daily Show,’ just for the election. It’ll be fun! You’ll do one day a week, it’ll be a laugh! What could go wrong?’” — JON STEWARTWith security at the convention enhanced, the theater where they’d planned to tape the show was locked down, Stewart explained. In security parlance, it was now in the “hard perimeter,” not the “soft perimeter.” “You really don’t want to be in the hard perimeter,” he said.While Stewart touched on the convention’s first two days in his opener, the real amusement came from his sit-down with Bill O’Reilly, the former Fox host who provided fodder for many “Daily Show” jokes in years past.The two have squared off before, and O’Reilly nodded to that history: “We are able to disagree without hating each other. Now, I truly hate him. But I don’t show it.”“I like coming on here, in front of all of your friends out here — and the audience should know, I have no friends here.” — BILL O’REILLY“Well, not just here.” — JON STEWARTO’Reilly tried to distance himself from Trump, saying that as a registered independent, he didn’t have a candidate. Then he pulled out a sheet of paper and rattled off a list of prices, mortgage rates and overdose rates that had risen during the Biden administration.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Jon Stewart Is a Little Stressed Out About That Debate

    Hosting a live “Daily Show” after the Biden-Trump spectacle, Stewart said he needed “to call a real estate agent in New Zealand.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Jon Stewart went live hosting “The Daily Show” on Thursday, recapping the debate between President Biden and Donald Trump. Stewart wasn’t in the best of spirits.Things started out strong: “Both men are ambulatory. They are both upright. Level one cleared,” Stewart joked over a clip of the candidates taking the stage. But it wasn’t long before the host said he needed “to call a real estate agent in New Zealand.”One rambling Biden answer — ending with the non sequitur “We finally beat Medicare” — had Stewart staring into the camera in horror.“OK, a high-pressure situation. A lot of times, you can confuse saving Medicare with beating it. I’m sure it’s not something that repeated throughout the debate, causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin. Anybody can [expletive] up talking.” — JON STEWART“I’m not a political expert, but while Biden was preparing at Camp David — for a week — did anyone mention he would also be on camera?” — JON STEWART“A lot of people have resting 25th Amendment face.” — JON STEWARTStewart also called out Trump for his many falsehoods.“Just so we’re all clear, everything that Donald Trump said in that clip is a lie,” he said after one montage. “Blatant and full. And we were tight on time putting this [expletive] together. There’s plenty more. Really makes you wonder: What’s R.F.K. Jr. doing tonight?”“Let me just say after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs, as much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and in one of the candidate’s cases, improve their truthfulness, morality and malignant narcissism, then suppository away.” — JON STEWART More

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    Late Night Latches Onto Donald Trump’s ‘Johnson’ Mix-Up

    “The sad thing is under MAGA law, his name is now Ronny Johnson,” Jon Stewart said after Trump referred to his former doctor, Ronny Jackson, by the wrong name.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Wrong RonDuring a rally on Saturday, former President Donald Trump bragged about passing a cognitive exam before mistakenly referring to his White House doctor, Ronny Jackson, as “Ronny Johnson.”“The sad thing is under MAGA law, his name is now Ronny Johnson,” Jon Stewart said.“Do you know Ronny Johnson? Because Ronny Jackson is the name of the doctor.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s not Ronny Johnson — it’s Jackson. If that was another cognitive test, you failed it, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Bragging about acing a cognitive test while forgetting the name of the doctor who gave it to you is like writing on a résumé that you speak three languages and misspelling the word ‘languages.’” — SETH MEYERS[Imitating Trump] “I love Ronny Johnson. Doc Ronny — Doc Ronny Johnson. He gave me the test, then I went home to my beautiful wife, Malaria.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s like walking into a glass door after the doctor says you have 20/20 vision.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Milwaukee Edition)“Just weeks before he heads to the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, he called Milwaukee ‘a horrible city,’ forcing liberals around the country to defend Milwaukee, a city they then had to pretend to have been to: ‘Oh, Milwaukee’s the finest city in, I want to say, Indiana.’” — JON STEWART“This man is about to be in a world of deep-fried hurt.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And what a beautiful name, ‘Milwaukee.’ Some say it’s from the Algonquin for ‘the good land.’ Others say Milwaukee is Potawatomi for ‘cholesterol.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I believe that if every city in America was destroyed tomorrow except Milwaukee, the republic would still roll on. Because Milwaukee is America. As Thomas Jefferson himself once said, ‘Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump’s team tried to defend the remarks, saying the former president wasn’t calling the whole city horrible, just crime in the city, with one aide saying, ‘He was directly referring to crime in Milwaukee.’ Now he does have a point. Milwaukee has become so soft on crime that their convention center is hosting a convicted felon.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon shared his “overwhelming” experience of meeting the pope at the Vatican on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightHannah Einbinder will promote her new Max stand-up special, “Everything Must Go,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe family drama “Appropriate” became one of the season’s buzziest plays, partly because of Sarah Paulson’s star power.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesSarah Paulson, an Emmy winner, won her first Tony on Sunday, taking home best actress in a play for her role in the family drama “Appropriate.” More

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    Late Night Rips Trump’s First Meeting With Probation Officer

    “Things got off to a rough start when Trump offered the probation officer $130,000,” Jimmy Fallon joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.First ImpressionsOn Monday, former President Donald Trump met with his New York probation officer for the first time after his conviction last month.“Things got off to a rough start when Trump offered the probation officer $130,000,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“Unlike the vast majority of felons out there, Trump was allowed to do his interview at Mar-a-Lago over a video conference call. Must make the mandatory drug test kind of difficult — hard to get the pee right into the USB port.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump met with his probation officer over Zoom, which was great because Trump’s lawyer could hit mute whenever he started talking.” — JIMMY FALLON“Let’s make something clear: If a probation officer is basing their sentencing guidelines on remorse, mental state and character, and the recommendation is a day less than 1,000 years, Donald Trump is getting off easy. And if the probation officer meets with Trump and their takeaway is, ‘He seemed really sorry, supersharp and an all-around good person,’ that should be their last day at work.” — SETH MEYERS“The final probation report will remain sealed, but one thing probation folks usually ask convicts is about their employment. [imitating probation officer] ‘OK, Mr. Trump, it says here you got fired from your last job for being, uh, terrible at it and for — is this correct? This is right here — and for trying to kill a Mr. Mike Pence? Oh, but I see down here you are actually currently applying for a new job, which is the same job. OK. Have you thought about learning to code?’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Hot in Vegas Edition)“Former President Trump held an outdoor rally yesterday in Las Vegas, and temperatures exceeded 100 degrees. It was so bad, Trump began exhibiting symptoms of heat stroke 10 years ago.” — SETH MEYERS“It was, by his own report, 110 degrees, so, naturally, Trump held an outdoor rally at noon.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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    Stephen Colbert Counts Down to Donald Trump’s Sentencing

    Colbert showed off his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” which contained a bottle of bourbon.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Convicted Felon Trump’Most late night hosts were off last week after the Memorial Day holiday, which meant Monday was their first chance to discuss how Donald Trump had been found guilty on 34 counts in his hush money trial.Stephen Colbert continuously referred to the former president as “convicted felon Trump” and wheeled out his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” complete with Judge Juan M. Merchan’s face on each one of the 38 days until July 11, and a bottle of bourbon inside.“It’s going to be the R.N.C. live from Cell Block B with a keynote speech from his warden, his cellmate Spider, that one guard who smuggles in cellphones up his butt, and, for the cocktail hour, enjoy complimentary toilet wine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Former President Trump has been found guilty on all 34 charges in his criminal hush money trial and faces up to four years in prison. Well, for what it’s worth, all your friends are already there, you know? It’s like what my wife tells me on our way to a dinner party: ‘Don’t worry — you’ll know people.’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Trump was found guilty. They were going to put him in an orange jumpsuit, but it felt redundant.” — JIMMY FALLON“Just because there’s ample evidence and a jury believes it, anyone could now be found guilty. Do we really want to live in an America where the law is applied equally regardless of how rich you are?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We might now be facing a situation where if you can’t do the time, and I can’t believe I’m saying this: Don’t do the crime.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The big question now is whether Trump will get jail time or house arrest. If he’s sentenced to jail, Melania will be inside the courtroom chanting, ‘Four more years!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump will be sentenced on July 11, and his lawyers told him, ‘You should get your affairs in order.’ Trump was like, ‘That’s what got me in trouble in the first place.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, former President Trump was found guilty last week on 34 counts of falsifying business records and faces up to 4 years in jail and a $5,000 fine. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, you can waive the fine.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lock Her Up Edition)“The people said ‘Lock her up?’ That was your whole campaign — stop it! We remember; we were there. It’s like if Arby’s said ‘We never said we had the meats — the people said we had the meats.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating Trump] Folks, I was talking about Hilary Swank, OK? No baby is worth a million dollars.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More