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      Late Night Slams Trump’s Plan to Adapt ‘The Purge’

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      “Good news: He stopped talking about Hannibal Lecter,” Jimmy Fallon said. “Bad news: He suggested we do ‘The Purge’ instead.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Taking a Page from ‘The Purge’ PlaybookDuring a rally in Pennsylvania on Sunday, former President Donald Trump suggested that Americans have “one really violent day” to curtail crime.Late-night hosts likened Mr. Trump’s plans to the popular horror movie franchise, “The Purge.”“Yeah, Trump wants ‘The Purge,’ while his staff wishes he would re-enact ‘A Quiet Place,’” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday.“Good news: He stopped talking about Hannibal Lecter. Bad news: He suggested we do ‘The Purge’ instead.” — JIMMY FALLON“Did he just suggest ‘The Purge’ for stealing from CVS? [imitating Trump] ‘If that doesn’t work, I have other ideas, OK? We put all the shoplifters on a bus with Keanu Reeves. If it goes slower than 50 miles an hour, blammo!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He suggested that the way to end crime would be to have one really violent day, one rough hour that would solve everything, like ‘The Purge’ and so much more. If anyone in your life had, like, a weekend like this, you’d be concerned. Like if your dad had a series of similar outbursts, you’d call your siblings to figure out what to do.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (V.P. Debate Prep Edition)“Tomorrow night in New York, the first and only debate between Tim Walz and JD Vance, this will be the first vice-presidential debate since 2008 in which the candidates will stand instead of sit. I guess they were worried JD Vance might get distracted by a sexy office chair.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Honestly, I’m not even going to watch it, and I’m going to tell you why — because I already know who I’m voting for, vice-president-wise.” — JON STEWART“Actually, today Trump asked Vance if he needed any debate advice, and Vance was like, ‘Absolutely. Do you have Kamala’s number?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Voters were more likely to describe Walz as honest, trustworthy and caring, where they were more likely to describe Vance as nervous, unsettling and damp. But I disagree. You know, when I see JD Vance, I see a man who is grounded, who is rational and so humanlike, you could barely tell he isn’t one.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe best-selling author Ta-Nehisi Coates discussed his new book, “The Message,” with Jon Stewart on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe musician-turned-movie star Lady Gaga will promote “Joker: Folie à Deux” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutBillie Eilish onstage at the Videotron Center on Sunday night. Her new tour supports her most recent album, “Hit Me Hard and Soft.”Julia Spicer for The New York TimesA master class in intimacy and crowd engagement, Billie Eilish’s new Hit Me Hard and Soft tour debuted in Canada on Sunday. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Tickled by Trump’s Vow to Make Women Great Again

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      “I‘m not sure if he’s running for president or marketing a new brand of tampon,” Colbert said on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Make Women Great AgainFormer President Donald Trump made several comments about women over the weekend, vowing that under his presidency, he would “protect women at a level never seen before,” saying they would be “healthy, hopeful, safe and secure.”“I‘m not sure if he’s running for president or marketing a new brand of tampon,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday.“[imitating Trump] Women will be safe, secure — they’ll be safe, secure and unscented. I will install all my judges with a comfort glide applicator. Vote for me, or there will be heavy days. I’m talking about, your friends will be riding bikes and laughing in the pool, and you’re going to be sitting by yourself, dealing with that cup of blue juice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During a rally on Saturday in North Carolina, former President Trump spoke about his agenda for women and said, ‘Let’s talk about our great women, all right? Because women have gone through a lot.’ And I assume he’s speaking from experience.” — SETH MEYERS“In a post over the weekend on Truth Social, former President Trump said that if he is elected, ‘Women will be happy, healthy, confident and free.’ So now JD Vance is undecided.” — SETH MEYERS“‘Women are poorer than they were four years ago, are less healthy than they were four years ago, are less safe on the streets than they were four years ago, are more depressed and unhappy than they were four years ago, and are less optimistic and confident in the future than they were four years ago! I will fix all of that, and fast, and at long last this national nightmare will be over.’ This reads like a suicide pact.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] Their lives will be happy, beautiful, and great again — and if you don’t believe it, ask my wife Melania, who every night prays I drive my golf cart into a lagoon.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Oprah Treatment Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Hosts Declare Harris the Winner in the Debate

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      Stephen Colbert said that the vice president needed to “rattle Trump’s cage. And now that it is over, they are still looking for pieces of his cage in low orbit.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Best in ShowOn Tuesday, Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump met for their only scheduled debate before the election. Three of the five late-night shows went live after it ended, with Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Jon Stewart offering their takes.Colbert said that Harris “came out swinging,” looking to “rattle Trump’s cage.”“And now that it is over, they are still looking for pieces of his cage in low orbit.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Harris got under his skin like she was stuffing in butter and rosemary. It was beautiful. By the end of the debate, the meat was falling off the bone.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Usually when Donald Trump gets a spanking like this from a woman, it’s with a Forbes magazine. Kamala was pushing his buttons like a 12-year-old playing Fortnite.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He was so nonsensical that she looked at him the way a parent looks at a kid giving a presentation on why they should be allowed to get a pet tiger.” — STEPHEN COLBERTOn “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart called out Trump for his answer to a question about his involvement in the Jan. 6. insurrection.“You spent two months riling up your base that our country had literally been stolen from them through fraudulent means, that you could never even get a whiff of in a court of law, and let — let yourself just abuse them. You pressed on. You abused their trust. You showed up for a speech? You [expletive] tweeted ‘Join me on Jan. 6. It will be wild.’ But suddenly now: ‘I was just a hired magician to do the bar mitzvah! I didn’t do anything. I showed up with a hat and a rabbit and then the whole party went out of control!’” — JON STEWART“And this is it, ladies and gentlemen. I don’t know if this debate is going to change anything. I really don’t. People are awfully set in the manner that they view these proceedings. What I think is a home-run answer for one candidate, someone else views as a dodge or a lie or any of those other things. In some ways, it doesn’t matter what they say anymore, but one thing will always be true, and it is the quality of the former president I respect the least: Whenever he is cornered and forced to face even the smallest of consequences for his own mendacity and scheming, he reverts to the greatest refuge of scoundrels. As Shaggy would say, ‘It wasn’t me!’” — JON STEWART“[imitating Trump] OK, but you can’t believe a thing I say. I’m crazy! Everybody knows that! I’m the Hannibal Lecter whale guy. Immigrants are taking our cats and giving them operations to turn them into dogs and then eating the dogs. Whale!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lock Up Your Dogs Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jon Stewart Recaps a Pretty Eventful Week in Politics

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      “In the span of a week, Democrats have gone from the despair of a certain Trump presidency to the joy of a statistical tie,” Stewart said on “The Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Ref! Ref! Open Your Eyes!’Jon Stewart, back on “The Daily Show” after a hiatus, had a lot of catching up to do on Monday.“In the span of a week, Democrats have gone from the despair of a certain Trump presidency to the joy of a statistical tie.” — JON STEWARTThe swift rise of Kamala Harris as the Democrats’ likely nominee after President Biden’s withdrawal got a lot of reaction from conservatives on cable TV. Stewart surveyed the responses, which ranged from calling it a “coup” to suggesting that Harris, because she has Indian roots, isn’t really Black.“[Imitating a conservative pundit:] ‘Two races? In one person? Now I’ve seen everything. I heard she sent her DNA to 23 and Me, and it broke the computer. I don’t know what to do! Goodness gracious.’ If these people ever saw a Pizza Hut/Taco Bell, they’d lose their [expletive] minds: ‘What is this, a D.E.I. restaurant?’” — JON STEWART“But I get it! If I thought I had this thing in the bag, and you were going to be going up against old Joe Biden, and then they pull this, I’d be like, ‘Ref! Ref! Open your eyes! How can you not see they’re coup-ing? They’re coup-ing!’” — JON STEWART“[Imitating Donald Trump:] Do you have any idea how much money on “Let’s Go Brandon” ear bandages I’ve spent?” — JON STEWART“Your candidate’s Donald Trump. His catchphrase is literally, ‘You’re fired!’ He’s the Anna Wintour of authoritarian wannabes. Donald Trump hired 44 cabinet members — 75 percent of them want nothing to do with the guy. His secretary of state called him a [expletive] moron. His chief of staff said, ‘He’s the most flawed person I’ve ever met.’ You know why he needs a new vice-presidential running mate? I’ll tell you why — he tried to get the last one killed.” — JON STEWART, responding to pundits’ allegations that Harris is an unpleasant boss“But you know what? I do understand that they’re upset. It makes sense. So how about we do this? Out of fairness. I’m a fair person. You can replace your old guy, too!” — JON STEWARTThe Bits Worth WatchingPresident Biden’s transportation secretary, Pete Buttigieg, talked about Harris and other things on “The Daily Show.” (The other shows are taking the week off, incidentally.)What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJon M. Chu, the director of “Wicked,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutMarina Abramovic “embracing” the ocean on Fire Island in early 2024. Marco AnelliAt 77, the performance artist Marina Abramovic is creating new work with plans to continue past 100. More

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      Barbra Streisand, Spike Lee and Other Stars Endorse Harris

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      Barbra Streisand lent her support to Vice President Kamala Harris on Monday, becoming the latest in a series of high-profile stars and celebrities who have coalesced around her candidacy since President Biden endorsed her as his successor.“President Biden and Vice President Harris ushered this nation out of the Trump chaos,” she said in a statement to The New York Times on Monday. “I’m so grateful to President Biden and so excited to support Kamala Harris. She will work to restore women’s reproductive freedom and continue with the accomplishments begun in the Biden-Harris administration.”Ms. Streisand praised Mr. Biden as “an honorable and compassionate leader” and called former President Donald J. Trump “a convicted felon” and a “pathological liar” who had been found liable for sexual assault and who had “incited an insurrection against our democracy.”Endorsements from Hollywood’s most recognizable figures can add cultural cache to candidates, and have traditionally helped campaigns raise money, turn out crowds at rallies and generate excitement on social media. Some campaigns have been leery of appearing too close to celebrities, fearing accusations of elitism. Both parties seek them; at the Republican National Convention last week, Hulk Hogan, Kid Rock and Dana White were among the celebrities supporting Mr. Trump.Since Mr. Biden announced he would not seek re-election, some stars have praised his decision, others have gotten behind Ms. Harris, and a few who made their views known earlier in the cycle have stayed quiet. Here’s a look at where some notable names in Hollywood now stand:George ClooneyMr. Clooney’s essay in The New York Times this month calling on Mr. Biden to not seek re-election rattled the Biden team and dealt a highly visible blow to the campaign at a particularly vulnerable moment, underscoring the power that stars can wield.A spokesman for Mr. Clooney said on Monday that the actor was not commenting on the latest developments in the race.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jon Stewart Razzes a ‘Daily Show’ Guest: Bill O’Reilly

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      The former Fox host, a longtime foil of the show, said he knew he had “no friends here.” “Well, not just here,” Stewart replied.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sparring Partners“The Daily Show” was supposed to be in Milwaukee for the Republican National Convention this week, but the attempt on Donald Trump’s life changed that. “What a terrible [expletive] week,” Jon Stewart said as he opened Tuesday’s show from New York.“‘Hey Jon, come back to ‘The Daily Show,’ just for the election. It’ll be fun! You’ll do one day a week, it’ll be a laugh! What could go wrong?’” — JON STEWARTWith security at the convention enhanced, the theater where they’d planned to tape the show was locked down, Stewart explained. In security parlance, it was now in the “hard perimeter,” not the “soft perimeter.” “You really don’t want to be in the hard perimeter,” he said.While Stewart touched on the convention’s first two days in his opener, the real amusement came from his sit-down with Bill O’Reilly, the former Fox host who provided fodder for many “Daily Show” jokes in years past.The two have squared off before, and O’Reilly nodded to that history: “We are able to disagree without hating each other. Now, I truly hate him. But I don’t show it.”“I like coming on here, in front of all of your friends out here — and the audience should know, I have no friends here.” — BILL O’REILLY“Well, not just here.” — JON STEWARTO’Reilly tried to distance himself from Trump, saying that as a registered independent, he didn’t have a candidate. Then he pulled out a sheet of paper and rattled off a list of prices, mortgage rates and overdose rates that had risen during the Biden administration.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jon Stewart Is a Little Stressed Out About That Debate

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      Hosting a live “Daily Show” after the Biden-Trump spectacle, Stewart said he needed “to call a real estate agent in New Zealand.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Jon Stewart went live hosting “The Daily Show” on Thursday, recapping the debate between President Biden and Donald Trump. Stewart wasn’t in the best of spirits.Things started out strong: “Both men are ambulatory. They are both upright. Level one cleared,” Stewart joked over a clip of the candidates taking the stage. But it wasn’t long before the host said he needed “to call a real estate agent in New Zealand.”One rambling Biden answer — ending with the non sequitur “We finally beat Medicare” — had Stewart staring into the camera in horror.“OK, a high-pressure situation. A lot of times, you can confuse saving Medicare with beating it. I’m sure it’s not something that repeated throughout the debate, causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin. Anybody can [expletive] up talking.” — JON STEWART“I’m not a political expert, but while Biden was preparing at Camp David — for a week — did anyone mention he would also be on camera?” — JON STEWART“A lot of people have resting 25th Amendment face.” — JON STEWARTStewart also called out Trump for his many falsehoods.“Just so we’re all clear, everything that Donald Trump said in that clip is a lie,” he said after one montage. “Blatant and full. And we were tight on time putting this [expletive] together. There’s plenty more. Really makes you wonder: What’s R.F.K. Jr. doing tonight?”“Let me just say after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs, as much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and in one of the candidate’s cases, improve their truthfulness, morality and malignant narcissism, then suppository away.” — JON STEWART More

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      Late Night Latches Onto Donald Trump’s ‘Johnson’ Mix-Up

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      “The sad thing is under MAGA law, his name is now Ronny Johnson,” Jon Stewart said after Trump referred to his former doctor, Ronny Jackson, by the wrong name.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Wrong RonDuring a rally on Saturday, former President Donald Trump bragged about passing a cognitive exam before mistakenly referring to his White House doctor, Ronny Jackson, as “Ronny Johnson.”“The sad thing is under MAGA law, his name is now Ronny Johnson,” Jon Stewart said.“Do you know Ronny Johnson? Because Ronny Jackson is the name of the doctor.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s not Ronny Johnson — it’s Jackson. If that was another cognitive test, you failed it, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Bragging about acing a cognitive test while forgetting the name of the doctor who gave it to you is like writing on a résumé that you speak three languages and misspelling the word ‘languages.’” — SETH MEYERS[Imitating Trump] “I love Ronny Johnson. Doc Ronny — Doc Ronny Johnson. He gave me the test, then I went home to my beautiful wife, Malaria.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s like walking into a glass door after the doctor says you have 20/20 vision.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Milwaukee Edition)“Just weeks before he heads to the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, he called Milwaukee ‘a horrible city,’ forcing liberals around the country to defend Milwaukee, a city they then had to pretend to have been to: ‘Oh, Milwaukee’s the finest city in, I want to say, Indiana.’” — JON STEWART“This man is about to be in a world of deep-fried hurt.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And what a beautiful name, ‘Milwaukee.’ Some say it’s from the Algonquin for ‘the good land.’ Others say Milwaukee is Potawatomi for ‘cholesterol.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I believe that if every city in America was destroyed tomorrow except Milwaukee, the republic would still roll on. Because Milwaukee is America. As Thomas Jefferson himself once said, ‘Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump’s team tried to defend the remarks, saying the former president wasn’t calling the whole city horrible, just crime in the city, with one aide saying, ‘He was directly referring to crime in Milwaukee.’ Now he does have a point. Milwaukee has become so soft on crime that their convention center is hosting a convicted felon.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon shared his “overwhelming” experience of meeting the pope at the Vatican on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightHannah Einbinder will promote her new Max stand-up special, “Everything Must Go,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe family drama “Appropriate” became one of the season’s buzziest plays, partly because of Sarah Paulson’s star power.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesSarah Paulson, an Emmy winner, won her first Tony on Sunday, taking home best actress in a play for her role in the family drama “Appropriate.” More