The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (TV Program)

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      Stephen Colbert Isn’t Shocked the New Mask Ruling Came From Florida

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      “You can’t let Florida make health decisions for the entire country!” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Critical Face Theory’A federal judge in Florida struck down the C.D.C.’s mask mandate for public transportation on Monday.“You can’t let Florida make health decisions for the entire country!” Stephen Colbert said.“This judge claimed that the C.D.C. exceeded their legal authority by requiring masks and that their power was limited to things like cleaning property, not requiring people to take hygienic steps. Yes, you cannot force people to follow basic hygiene; you can only make them clean property, explains the new bathroom sign: ‘Before returning to work, employees must wash this sign.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Governor Ron DeSantis, of course, praised the decision. He tweeted it was ‘great to see a federal judge in Florida follow the law and reject the Biden transportation mask mandate,’ or as he calls it, ‘Critical Face Theory.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, passengers were dancing, hugging, kissing — and now they’re all in quarantine.” — JIMMY FALLON“But don’t worry, to keep everyone safe, you can now bring only up to 3.4 ounces of Covid on board.” — JIMMY FALLON“To put it another way, airlines are basically turning off the seatbelt sign for Covid and telling you to move freely about the cabin.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, if you thought Omicron was bad, wait till you meet the Spirit variant.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Covid In Flight Edition)“All the major airlines have already updated their policy on face coverings. Delta, American, United, Southwest, JetBlue, Frontier and Spirit announced they will no longer require passengers to wear a mask. Spirit Airlines actually never had an official mask requirement because they don’t have windows on the plane.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, there was a crazy scene on American Airlines. People tore off their masks and shoved them right into the ashtrays.” — JIMMY FALLON“Just as a general rule, nothing should change midflight, ever.” — TREVOR NOAH“This would be like if a roller coaster decided to rethink its safety policies when you’re already on the ride.” — TREVOR NOAH“That’s like being told halfway through a dinner party that it’s an orgy: ‘I wasn’t prepared for an orgy — I’m all filled up on dinner rolls, and I’m wearing the wrong underwear.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingPamela Adlon talked about the end of “Better Things” with Trevor Noah on Tuesday.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightNatasha Lyonne, star of “Russian Doll,” will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutThe comedian Jerrod Carmichael talks about the impact of family secrets in his HBO special “Rothaniel.”HBOThe comedian Jerrod Carmichael’s HBO special “Rothaniel” is as much a therapy session as a stand-up show. More

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      Late Night Isn’t Thrilled About Elon Musk’s Attempted Twitter Takeover

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      “He is super smart, definitely, but he admits that he also loves dumb jokes, so we don’t know how this could turn out,” Trevor Noah said of the Tesla C.E.O.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Musk Eyes TwitterAfter becoming a major shareholder of Twitter last week, Elon Musk made an offer to buy the social media site for $43 billion on Thursday.Trevor Noah bemoaned the fact that Musk’s offer was anything but normal.“No, he offered to pay 54.20 per share. Yeah, not 54 dollars exactly — no, 54.20. And that’s how you know that you’re too rich — when you’re spending an extra few million dollars just to slip a weed joke into your takeover bid,” Noah joked.“A week ago, Musk became Twitter’s largest shareholder, after buying $2.89 billion worth of the company. OK, did no one tell him you can read all the tweets for free?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“After his big investment, he spent the week sitting down with experts to plan a long-term business strategy, by which I mean he posted a bunch of troll-y nonsense, like a meme of himself smoking weed with the caption ‘Twitter’s next board meeting is gonna be lit,’ and a poll suggesting they change the name to ‘Titter.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Oh my god. He could do so much with that money: address world hunger, fix climate change, get a decent haircut.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But that is the thing with Elon Musk — nobody knows what he is going to do. He’s super smart, definitely, but he admits that he also loves dumb jokes, so we don’t know how this could turn out. This could turn Twitter into the best version of itself or he could just rename tweets ‘farts’ and retweets ‘refart.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Are You Still Suing? Edition)“But one of the American companies that has suspended service in Russia is Netflix, which has made subscribers in Russia so mad, they’re suing Netflix. They want 60 million rubles in compensation, which is about 80 bucks, I think, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, Russian Netflix subscribers launched a class-action lawsuit for loss of service. Then, after a few hours, a screen popped up saying ‘Are you still suing?’ and you had to click ‘yes.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“How great would it be if this war ends because Russians didn’t get to watch ‘Is It Cake?’ on time?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s not just the viewers who are mad, because Netflix also halted the development and acquisition of all Russian-made TV shows and films. That is rough news for anyone — sure, it’s the right thing to do. But it’s rough news for anyone excited about the new season of ‘Bridgertato.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingMichelle Yeoh visited “Desus & Mero” to talk about her role in the hit film, “Everything Everywhere All At Once.”Also, Check This OutMads Mikkelsen in “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore.”Warner Bros.Mads Mikkelsen plays an evil wizard with political talent in the latest “Harry Potter” spinoff movie, “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore.” More

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      Late Night Teases Rudy Giuliani About Seized Devices

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      Prosecutors recovered 18 devices during their current investigation into Trump’s former lawyer. “Eighteen devices? Man, that’s a lot of porn,” Stephen Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Left to His Own DevicesFederal prosecutors recovered 18 electronic devices from Rudy Giuliani during their investigation into his lobbying Ukraine for dirt on Joe Biden ahead of the 2020 election.“Eighteen devices? Man, that’s a lot of porn,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”“Always a good sign when you have three phones.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But this week, Rudy generously offered to assist the feds in finding reasons to charge him when he helped investigators unlock several electronic devices by providing a list of possible passwords. It’s a real bad sign when you have to carry around a piece of paper with a list of possible passwords.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He gave them a list of possible passwords to two other devices they seized, and even let investigators look inside the coffin he sleeps in during daylight hours.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m happy to say ‘The Late Show’ has acquired a copy of the list. There’s ‘L3akyheadjuice21,’ ‘seckswithcousin69,’ and ‘4SeasonsTotalManscaping.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Smile, You’re Not on Camera Edition)“And there is some good news: The Brooklyn subway shooting suspect has been arrested. That’s nice. That’s fast. The suspect’s name is Frank R. James. Authorities know this because a credit card with Mr. James’s name on it had been found at the scene of the shooting, as had a key to a van Mr. James had rented. He also left a cheek swab, a filled-out tax return and his SoulCycle emergency contact. Very generous of him.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One of the unusual facts about this shooter is that he is 62 years old, which means technically he wasn’t on the run — he was on the mall walk.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s fortunate that James left behind plenty of evidence, because none of the station’s security cameras were in full operation at the time of the shooting. Well, that’s what the M.T.A. gets for hiring the same guy who did the cameras in Jeffrey Epstein’s cell.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Really? really? Out of 10,000 cameras in the subway system the only three that weren’t working are the ones that could have helped? Really? That is a crazy stroke of bad luck if it were true.” — TREVOR NOAH“It does explain the new subway safety posters: ‘If you see something, that’s cool — we didn’t.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Let’s not get hung up on the details. The important thing is that those cameras cost New York taxpayers $800,000 each. Don’t forget that — that is all that matters.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingLouis Virtel, a writer for “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” protested Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” law on his recurring segment, “Virtel It Like it Is.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe “Flight Attendant” star Rosie Perez will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This Out“The worst nightmare is, do you wake up one day and you’re not funny anymore?” Billy Crystal, 74, said of the anxiety that comes with being an aging comedian. “Do you wake up and you’re not relevant?”Philip Montgomery for The New York TimesBilly Crystal is returning to Broadway in “Mr. Saturday Night,” a musical version of his 1992 movie about an aging performer who won’t accept that his time in the spotlight is up. More

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      Stephen Colbert Scoffs at John Eastman’s Obsession With the Election

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      “Our ex-president isn’t allowed a do-over just because he didn’t like the result the first time. That’s how you get an Eric,” Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Can’t Stop, Won’t StopJohn Eastman, a former legal adviser to Donald Trump, has continued pushing to decertify the 2020 election, as recently as March.“That’s right, the election that’s been over for a year and a half, and that Biden won,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday. “To put that into perspective, when the election was decided, J. Lo was engaged to a different guy,” Stephen Colbert said.“Here’s what happened: About three weeks ago, Eastman took a trip to Wisconsin and urged Republican Wisconsin Assembly speaker Robin Vos to nullify the 2020 election — specifically, to start ‘reclaiming the electors’ and move forward with either having a new slate of electors seated that would declare someone else the winner, or a ‘do over. ‘A ‘do over’? Our ex-president isn’t allowed a do over just because he didn’t like the result the first time. That’s how you get an Eric.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One problem with Eastman’s plan — all of it. He’s trying to re-litigate the 2020 election, which legal experts say is impossible. Only if you don’t believe in yourself — that’s why I’ll never throw away my Mondale ’84 signs.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Spirit of the Times Edition)“Well somehow, Spirit Halloween has inspired a movie. Strike Back Studios and Hideout Pictures are teaming up to make a Spirit Halloween film. Two companies thought this was a good idea. Maybe they figure if they go broke, they can turn their offices into Spirit Halloween stores, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The movie is about how, a month earlier, this movie was a Lady Foot Locker.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I don’t get — why not a movie about the 99-cent store? Spirit Halloween isn’t even a real store — it’s a parasite that feeds off the bodies of dead stores.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingRoy Wood Jr. investigates the history of Black classical musicians for his regular “Daily Show” segment, “CP Time.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe comedian Jerrod Carmichael will talk with Trevor Noah about his new HBO special, “Rothaniel,” on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutMichael Tran/Agence France-Presse — Getty ImagesLaurence Fishburne’s must-haves include a chef’s knife, trampolines and crystals. More

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      Stephen Colbert Laughs Off Trump’s Shilling for Dr. Oz

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      “Come on, he’s a con man. And so is Dr. Oz,” Colbert joked of the former president.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Con Men ClubOver the weekend, former President Donald Trump endorsed Dr. Mehmet Oz in the Pennsylvania Senate race.“Come on, he’s a con man. And so is Dr. Oz,” Stephen Colbert joked.“Now, I’d like to list all the scams Dr. Oz has tried to foist on his audience, but we only have an hour show.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Among the many snake oil supplements he has peddled are raspberry ketones for fat burning, lavender soap for leg cramps and strawberries for teeth whitening. None of these work, of course, but hey, there is one simple trick to make you healthier: Take two household bananas, then jam one in each ear until you can’t hear Dr. Oz anymore. You’ll be fine, or you’ll be better!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Aw, grandpa thinks his TV friends are his real friends. [imitating Trump] ‘You know who should be attorney general? That nice lady from “Murder, She Wrote.” She solved all of the murders in Cabot Cove. Also, when are they going to make Pat Sajak secretary of transportation? He knows wheels!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pumpkin Crown Father Edition)“CNN got their hands on text messages between Don Jr. and Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows, on Nov. 5, 2020. D.J.T.J. sent Meadows a number of ideas of how to ‘win’ the election they lost. He said, ‘We have multiple paths. We control them all.’ Junior would have texted his dad directly, but apparently Trump didn’t add him to the family plan.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Listen, if you’re gonna text your plans to overthrow an election, at least disguise it with emojis: ‘I got an idea: ballot box, trash can, American flag, poop emoji, pumpkin, crown, father.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Junior was so confident in the plan that he was concerned that not everyone was looped in, texting, ‘This is what we need to do. Please read it and please get it to everyone that needs to see it.’ Oh, I’m pretty sure the F.B.I. has seen it.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingBen Stiller, the director of “Severance,” sat down with Trevor Noah on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightGillian Anderson will talk about playing Eleanor Roosevelt in “The First Lady” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This Out“Ava is controlled chaos,” Janelle James said of her character on “Abbott Elementary,” a mockumentary-style sitcom on ABC praised for both its humor and its poignancy.Kendall Bessent for The New York TimesJanelle James, the breakout star of “Abbott Elementary,” loves playing a hilariously terrible elementary school principal. More

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      Trevor Noah Returns to Host the Grammys After a Dust-Up With Kanye West

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      Trevor Noah, the comedian and face of “The Daily Show,” is returning to host the Grammy Awards for the second year in a row. For the 2021 show, Noah was front and center at an unconventional Grammys, with some performances pretaped and the bulk of the ceremony held outside the Staples Center (now known as the Crypto.com Arena) in Los Angeles. “On the whole, Noah made something that could have felt like several competing shows feel like one,” The New York Times pop music critic Jon Caramanica wrote.This year, for another pandemic-delayed show, the coronavirus is one of a few delicate topics Noah may broach in his monologue. In the weeks before the event, he had a highly publicized clash with Kanye West, who is up for five awards and until recently was slated to perform at Sunday night’s ceremony.Noah devoted a segment of his March 15 show to a nearly 10-minute long, reportedly unscripted monologue on what he characterized as West’s harassment of his ex-wife, Kim Kardashian. West had released a Claymation video in which he appeared to kidnap and bury a figure resembling Pete Davidson, the “Saturday Night Live” comedian who has been dating Kardashian.“What she’s going through is terrifying to watch, and it shines a spotlight on what so many women go through when they choose to leave,” Noah said in the segment, comparing West’s behavior to the abuse he witnessed as a child. (Noah said from when he was 9 to 16 he witnessed his stepfather mistreat his mother; he later shot her.)Days after Noah’s monologue, West posted an image of Noah on his Instagram alongside a racial slur. Meta, which owns Instagram, soon banned West — who had also been posting long videos criticizing Kardashian and others — for 24 hours. Then, just two weeks before West was set to perform at the awards, organizers informed his team that he would not be allowed to take the stage.Noah appeared to object to the ban. “I said counsel Kanye, not cancel Kanye,” he tweeted.Noah is a Grammy nominee himself. His standup special “Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia” was nominated for best comedy album at the 2020 Grammys. He lost to Dave Chappelle’s “Sticks and Stones.” More

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      Late Night Gapes at Biden’s Calling Putin a ‘War Criminal’

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      A Kremlin spokesman pointed the finger back at the U.S. for World War II bombings, and Trevor Noah joked, “Keep up with the times, yo!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.New War, Who Dis?President Biden referred this week to Vladimir Putin, Russia’s leader, as a “war criminal,” and a Kremlin spokesman responded by saying the statement was unfair and hypocritical, citing the United States’ bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II.Trevor Noah criticized Russia for coming “with that old [expletive].”“Seriously, Russia, you’re gonna bring up something America did in the ’40s?” Noah said. “America has committed plenty of war crimes since then. Keep up with the times, yo!”“Russia said that was unforgivable, so today Biden called him a ‘murderous dictator’ and a ‘pure thug.’ Tomorrow he’s going to call him a ‘stupidhead’ and it might get really crazy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Just because America committed war crimes doesn’t mean you have to, as well, Vladimir Putin, OK? I mean, what if all your friends jumped off a bridge — would you do it, too? No, seriously, would you? I’m just brainstorming ways to end this whole thing. I just want to know what you would do, you know?” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (St. Patrick’s Day Edition)“It is St. Green Vomit Day, also known as St. Patrick’s Day, also known as the day on which the world’s reddest white people wear green.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, it’s a great day to be Irish and a bad day to be an Uber driver.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, the parade here is the only event where Times Square Elmo feels like the chaperone.” — JIMMY FALLON“You can tell people were ready to let loose. On my way in, I heard a guy on the street ask where the bathrooms are, and another guy said, ‘It’s wherever you want it to be.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It was fun seeing everyone decked out in their St. Paddy’s Day clothes. Some people wore shirts that said, ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish. While the rest opted for the newer ‘Kiss me, rapid’s negative.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s funny, everything we know about St. Patrick’s Day is not true. St. Patrick was born in England, not Ireland. There are no snakes in Ireland to drive out. And that creep wearing the ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish’ T-shirt? Probably not Irish.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In fact, the world’s first recorded St. Patrick’s Day parade took place in what is now St. Augustine, Florida, in 1601. At this parade, they drank green beer and ate green beef. They didn’t dye the beef — everything was just very moldy back then.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Thursday’s “Tonight Show,” Billy Crystal joined Jimmy Fallon in impersonating celebrities in conversation through mouth cutouts on magazine covers.Also, Check This OutFrom left: Channing Tatum, Sandra Bullock and Daniel Radcliffe say they’re happy that “The Lost City” will be released in theaters but mainly are interested in entertaining audiences no matter the platform.Amy Harrity for The New York TimesSandra Bullock, Channing Tatum and Daniel Radcliffe, stars of “The Lost City,” discussed their new film and friendships, as well as some of their most iconic roles to date. More

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      Trevor Noah: Addressing Congress, Zelensky ‘Knew His Audience’

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      Ukraine’s president must have researched American history before his speech, said Noah (who speculated about how it “could have gone very wrong”).Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Target AudiencePresident Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine addressed Congress by video link on Wednesday, pleading for more help in his country’s fight against Russia. On “The Daily Show,” Trevor Noah said that “based on his references to American history, it was clear that Zelensky knew his audience.”“Yeah, that’s right, Zelensky brought out all of America’s major moments: ‘I have a dream,’ 9/11, Mount Rushmore. You know he was on Wikipedia last night planning this out: [imitating Zelensky] ‘OK, Pearl Harbor, Boston Tea Party — should I mention Hulk Hogan sex tape, maybe?” — TREVOR NOAH“And by the way, props to him, I mean he knows way more about America than most U.S. senators know about his country. Like, can you imagine how they would sound if they had to give an inspiring speech using Ukrainian history? [imitating U.S. senator] ‘Uh, people of Ukraine, remember the vision of your founder — I want to say Daniel Ukraine?’” — TREVOR NOAH“I’m also impressed that Zelensky was able to dodge so many land mines in his research, because you realize this could have gone very wrong: [imitating Zelensky] ‘And now to 9/11, which as we all know from YouTube was inside job. I see you, Bush.’” — TREVOR NOAH“But Zelensky appealed directly to Congress. He said, ‘We need you right now.’ And Congress was like, ‘Listen, we’d love to help, but we just made daylight saving time permanent and we are wiped out, so.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Zelensky asked America to establish a no-fly zone over Ukraine, which we’re reluctant to do because it could result in nuclear war. But we are willing to wear blue and yellow lapel pins at all the awards shows this month, so that’s something, right?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Standing Ovation Edition)“Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky delivered a virtual address to Congress this morning and received a standing ovation, making him the first comedian to actually deserve one.” — SETH MEYERS“I can say with absolute certainty, that’s the warmest reception anyone has ever received on Zoom.” — SETH MEYERS“You know it is powerful when that many old people jump to their feet. There are knees in that room that were alive during the Roosevelt administration.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He got two standing ovations, which was nice. I think he’d rather get fighter jets, but the standing ovations were good.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was bipartisan. Republicans and Democrats stood for him, which is almost impossible. It’s like getting Kim and Kanye to agree on a day care situation — it’s very difficult.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “The Late Show,” Michael Bublé and Stephen Colbert sang a Canadian sea shanty.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightNormani will perform her new single on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This Out“I think we Americans just love lead characters we can root for,” said Feig, who worked on the American adaptation of “The Office.” “We’re too young as a country to be overly cynical yet.”Todd Midler for The New York TimesThe director Paul Feig returns to television with the small-town mockumentary-style comedy series “Welcome to Flatch.” More