More stories

  • in

    Colbert on Afghanistan: ‘It’s Heartbreaking’

    “Why should our soldiers be fighting radicals in a civil war in Afghanistan? We’ve got our own on Capitol Hill,” Stephen Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Right Thing Feels So Wrong’Late-night hosts addressed the news out of Afghanistan this week, with the Taliban taking swift control after President Biden’s decision to pull out American troops.“We have had troops there for 20 years — they fought, they sacrificed, their families sacrificed so that we wouldn’t have a terrorist attack in America planned in a foreign country,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “Why should our soldiers be fighting radicals in a civil war in Afghanistan? We’ve got our own on Capitol Hill.”“The Taliban yesterday entered the city of Kabul and took control of Afghanistan’s presidential palace. Most Americans watched in horror, while some Americans watched for tips.” — SETH MEYERS“As recently as last month, an overwhelming majority of Americans, 70 percent or more, supported Biden’s withdrawal. Seventy percent. You know how few things 70 percent of Americans agree on? I think it’s this and extra cheese, which also often ends badly and faster than you planned.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The U.S. foreign-policy apparatus should not approach Afghanistan the same way I approach trying to install a wireless router: ‘“Connect the router to a broadband gateway from your I.S.P. by inserting the Ethernet cable to the port located on the back of the TP-link extender”? I don’t have the foggiest notion of what I’m undertaking! Do you know how this works?’” — SETH MEYERS“So in the end, you can make us accept that there was no good alternative, but you can’t make us feel good about it. The only people who can feel good about this are the service members and their families who aren’t going to see soldiers sent into harm’s way for no reason that the commander in chief of either party can articulate. But there’s one more thing: For the last 20 years, four separate administrations told the American people to care about the plight of all the Afghan people, especially the women, and we did care and that’s not going to change. All that’s changed is that there’s nothing we can do about it now. So pulling out may be the right thing to do, but it’s heartbreaking; it’s humbling when the right thing feels so wrong.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Blame Game Edition)“Former President Trump released a statement on Friday amid the deteriorating situation in Afghanistan and, yeah, he’s enjoying this.” — SETH MEYERS“Pretty weird to blame Biden for withdrawing troops when this summer he was claiming credit for it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So you can’t put all the blame for a debacle you helped set the stage for. That’s like Andrew Lloyd Webber calling ‘Cats’ a terrible movie. You wrote a musical with no plot — how did you think this was going to end?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You can tell things aren’t good for Biden, because today he said, ‘You know, maybe the election was stolen.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump made a peace deal with the Taliban to end the war, and now after Biden’s withdrawal, they’re back in power. So, on the bright side, it’s nice to have a bipartisan screw-up.” — JIMMY FALLON“I have a hard time believing Trump would have done it in a more orderly way, since nothing he ever did was orderly. He couldn’t even withdraw from an umbrella in an orderly fashion.” — SETH MEYERS“So what’s happening now is the responsibility of both parties, and the American people who voted them into office. So, children and convicts, you’re off the hook. Also, thanks for watching.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe country music star Maren Morris was the guest host on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightCourtney Barnett will perform on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJan GrueNTB Scanpix Sipa USA
    Michael J. Fox reviews “I Live a Life Like Yours,” Jan Grue’s new memoir about living with spinal muscular atrophy. More

  • in

    Bad News for ‘Trump-Adjacent Weirdos’ Delights Seth Meyers

    Meyers enjoyed seeing Mike Lindell get word on camera that a defamation suit against him over his claims of election fraud would proceed.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Lawsuit TV, LiveOn Wednesday, a federal judge ruled that Dominion Voting Systems could proceed with its defamation lawsuits against Mike Lindell, Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. Seth Meyers called them “Trump-adjacent weirdos” and poked fun at their election fraud conspiracy theories on Thursday’s “Late Night.”“OK, so there are only two plausible explanations for what happened here: Either a federal judge appointed by Donald Trump ruled that unfounded claims of election fraud made by three Trump allies were not exempt from defamation laws, or Hugo Chavez teamed up with China and the C.I.A. to use Italian military satellites to hack the judge’s computer and alter his opinion, which was then printed out on paper smuggled in from China covered in bamboo fibers. The only way we can know for sure is if we take the judge’s ruling to a cabin in Montana, examine it under a powerful ultraviolet light, then bury it in the backyard, wait three days and see if it rains.” — SETH MEYERSMeyers and Stephen Colbert largely focused on Lindell, the MyPillow C.E.O., whose reaction to the news was caught on camera.“Watching someone get bad news, in real time, at their own symposium is my new kink.” — SETH MEYERS“This week, he held a livestreamed cybersymposium, for which he hired a cyberexpert ‘red team’ and gave them what he said was 37 terabytes of irrefutable evidence that hackers broke into election systems using intercepted ‘packet captures.’ ‘Packet captures,’ of course, is a technical term that you might know by their street name, ‘pillow cases.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Honestly, poor cyberexperts. You go to school to get a degree in computer science, spend your whole career mastering a highly specialized skill that would be actually very helpful in today’s high-tech economy, and then a psycho pillow magnate hands you what I’m guessing is a garbage bag full of dry cleaning slips and CBS receipts and said, ‘I need you to switch who the president is.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Today in Rudy Edition)“Rudy has also been sued by Dominion for a billion dollars. Now he’s facing a mountain of legal fees. That mountain’s in his apartment, right next to the mountain of empty Franzia boxes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Man, I wish I could have seen Rudy’s face when he found out. And that’s something, because I’ve wished to see Rudy’s face.” — SETH MEYERS“On top of that, Rudy’s law license in Washington was suspended, and he was suspended from practicing law in New York due to ‘demonstrably false and misleading’ statements about the election — which means he’s cut off from his previous source of income: telling lies next to a dildo shop.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingIn honor of Jimmy Fallon’s 1,500th “Tonight Show” episode, Kit Harington gave the host something he’s been waiting for — a “straight-up” rendition of Train’s “Drops of Jupiter.”Also, Check This OutLou Platt’s work as a therapist on productions like “I May Destroy You” often starts before filming even begins.Alex Ingram for The New York TimesFilm and television productions in Britain have started bringing therapists on-set to offer counseling for the cast and crew members. More

  • in

    Seth Meyers Teases Rudy Giuliani for Joining Cameo

    “Rudy’s charging $275 per video, but if you just wait awhile, you know he’ll eventually butt-dial you for free,” the “Late Night” host joked on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Rudy Makes a CameoOn Wednesday night, late-night hosts mocked Rudy Giuliani for joining Cameo, a service that allows fans to pay celebrities to send them video messages.“I guess Rudy’s last cameo went so well, he decided to give it another go,” Seth Meyers said, referring to Giuliani’s unwitting appearance last year in “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.”“You know how like six months ago, Rudy was the personal lawyer for the leader of the free world? Well, now he’s doing this.” — SARAH SILVERMAN, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“That’s right, he went from being America’s mayor to saying, ‘Hello, this is Rudy Giuliani. I want to wish ‘Deez Nuts’ a happy retirement.’”— JIMMY FALLON“He has no idea what he’s in for. Right now, a prosecutor in the Southern District of New York is logging on to Cameo and asking Rudy to share the story of the time he went to Ukraine to dig up dirt on a political opponent to interfere in a presidential election. [imitating Giuliani] ‘This message is for Mr. DOJ. I hear you’re feeling discouraged at work. Well, let me tell you about the time my friend Don and I cooked up a scheme to extort a foreign government and got away with it. You know, it says here you want me to read you my text messages and your emails. Oh, hold on, someone’s banging at the door. Why are you yelling “police”? There’s no police in here.’”— SETH MEYERS“I mean, this guy — this guy, who is a personal lawyer to the president of the United States, and now, he’s basically panhandling in the same place you can get a ‘Happy bat mitzvah’ message from Jamie Farr.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Giuliani’s New Gig Edition)“This may be the saddest part: It says he responds within 10 hours. His own prostate doesn’t respond that fast.” — SARAH SILVERMAN“Now, Rudy’s charging $275 per video, but if you just wait awhile, you know he’ll eventually butt-dial you for free.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, for the price of parking at Disneyland, you can get a message from the vampire who held a press conference next to a dildo store.” — SARAH SILVERMAN“Seems like a good investment, but can you really put a price on a future convicted felon accidentally farting on camera for your niece’s quinceañera? You can, it’s $275!” — SARAH SILVERMANThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert did his impersonation of a squirrel walking while pooping for his lucky guest Alan Alda.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe Killers will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutIn her new work, Ali Wong performs some truly refined vulgarity, our critic writes.Joyce Kim for The New York TimesAli Wong is back with a raunchy new stand-up set for her “Milk and Money Tour.” More

  • in

    Late Night Weighs In on Andrew Cuomo’s Resignation

    “It’s gonna be tough for Cuomo. With a track record like this, his only future is either president or Supreme Court justice,” Jimmy Fallon joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Exiting the Governor’s MansionAndrew Cuomo’s resignation as New York’s governor was the talk of late night on Tuesday.“It’s gonna be tough for Cuomo,” Jimmy Fallon said. “With a track record like this, his only future is either president or Supreme Court justice.”“New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced today that he will resign amid multiple allegations of sexual harassment. And this is, frankly, amazing — he made the announcement via book.” — SETH MEYERS“But during his remarks he said it was best that he step aside — and then every woman in the room took two steps aside.” — JIMMY FALLON“Don’t let the door hit you on the butt on the way out. But if it does, that door should also resign.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced today that he will resign amid multiple allegations of sexual harassment, so tune in to CNN tonight for, I don’t know, a rerun of ‘The History of the Sitcom.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Two Weeks’ Notice Edition)“For now, Cuomo’s still governor, because, for reasons I do not understand, Cuomo’s resignation will take effect in 14 days. Evidently, he gave himself two weeks’ notice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’m sorry, is this really a two-week-notice type of situation?” — JIMMY FALLON“Cuomo’s replacement will be Lt. Gov. Kathy Hochul. And this is — yeah, this is strange. Right after she was announced as New York’s next governor, CNN offered a prime-time show to her sister.” — JIMMY FALLON“Hochul will be taking the seat vacated by Cuomo — hopefully, after putting a towel down first.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingMarlon Wayans, a “Tonight Show” guest, said he quit doing stand-up for 20 years after Chris Rock heckled him.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightSarah Silverman will kick off a two-night stint as a guest host on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutJennifer Hudson, with Marc Maron, left, and Marlon Wayans, learned to play piano for “Respect.” Quantrell D. Colbert/MGMJennifer Hudson did a deep dive into her friend Aretha Franklin’s past to portray the Queen of Soul in “Respect.” More

  • in

    Stephen Colbert Was Disinvited From Obama’s Birthday Party

    “In the massive scaling back, I got massively scaled,” Colbert said of being cut from the former president’s guest list because of coronavirus concerns.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Access RevokedStephen Colbert opened “The Late Show” on Monday with a story of “being disinvited from the cool kid’s party” that was former President Barack Obama’s 60th birthday on Martha’s Vineyard over the weekend.“Here’s the thing — a hot ticket is what it was, but given the whole pandemic thing and the Delta variant, a celebrity mosh pit was maybe not the wisest choice, so Obama decided to scale back the guest list for his party,” Colbert explained.Colbert said there were reports claiming that fellow late-night hosts Conan O’Brien and David Letterman, Colbert’s predecessor, had been axed from the guest list, but that he made the cut.“Yeah, I mean, it makes sense — I am known to fill in when Letterman drops out of something.” — STEPHEN COLBERTColbert clarified that while he had planned to attend the party, “In the massive scaling back, I got massively scaled.”“By the way, Mr. Former President, my own 60th birthday is coming up in three years, and you, sir, are not … going to want to miss it. Please come. I’d be so honored if you came. I’ll scale me back to make room for you — and Michelle, obviously.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tokyo 2021 Edition)“The 2020 Tokyo Olympics ended yesterday, and the U.S. athletes brought home 39 gold medals, 41 silvers, 33 bronze and four new variants.” — SETH MEYERS“Well, last night was the closing ceremony for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics which, because of Covid, were actually held in 2021, which means it’s only three more years until the 2024 Olympics are postponed to 2027.” — SETH MEYERS“I hope you enjoyed them, because with global warming, even the Winter Olympics will soon be the Summer Olympics.” — DAVID SPADE, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“But it was a magical two weeks. Night after night, Americans gathered around the TV to see the events where we already saw who won on Twitter.” — JIMMY FALLON“Now that the Games are done, the only place for an athlete to get herpes in a foreign country is on ‘Bachelor in Paradise.’” — DAVID SPADE“Now if you want to witness physical excellence, you’ll have to watch a flight attendant duct tape a drunk guy to his seat.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingDavid Spade poked fun at Monday night’s finale of “The Bachelorette” while guest hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightBarbra Streisand will pop by “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutKelia Anne MacCluskeyOn this week’s Popcast, The New York Times’s pop music team discusses the musical and personal evolution of the Grammy-winning chart-topper Billie Eilish. More

  • in

    Herbert Schlosser, a Force Behind ‘S.N.L.’ and ‘Laugh-In,’ Dies at 95

    As a top NBC executive, he wrote a memo envisioning the show that became “Saturday Night Live.” He also helped recruit Johnny Carson and oversaw a raft of hit shows.Herbert Schlosser, a longtime NBC executive who put an indelible stamp on the network by negotiating Johnny Carson’s first deal to host “The Tonight Show,” putting “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In” on the air and overseeing the development of “Saturday Night Live,” died on Friday at his home in Manhattan. He was 95.His death was confirmed by his wife, Judith Schlosser.Mr. Schlosser was president of NBC in 1974 when he faced a late-night predicament: Carson no longer wanted the network to carry repeats of “Tonight” on weekends. But pleasing Carson, the network’s most important star, led to an inevitable question: What would NBC televise at 11:30 on Saturday nights?Mr. Schlosser wrote a memo in early 1975 that laid out the fundamentals of an original program that would be televised from NBC’s headquarters at Rockefeller Center; would be carried live, or at least taped on the same day, to maintain its topicality; would be “young and bright,” with a “distinctive look, a distinctive set and a distinctive sound”; would “seek to develop new television personalities”; and would have a different host each week.“Saturday Night is an ideal time to launch a show like this,” Mr. Schlosser wrote. “Those who now take the Saturday/Sunday ‘Tonight Show’ repeats should welcome this, and I would imagine we would get much greater clearance with a new show.”A sketch from the first episode of “Saturday Night Live,” seen on Oct. 11, 1975; from left, George Coe, John Belushi, Chevy Chase and Gilda Radner. The formula for the show had been spelled out in a memo by Mr. Schlosser earlier that year.Herb Ball/NBCU Photo Bank, via Getty Images“Saturday Night Live,” originally called just “Saturday Night” — which followed much of Mr. Schlosser’s formula, and which was produced, then as now, by Lorne Michaels — made its debut on Oct. 11, 1975, after Game 1 of the World Series, between the Red Sox and Cincinnati Reds. Mr. Schlosser had attended the game in Boston with Bowie Kuhn, the strait-laced baseball commissioner, and invited him to his hotel room to watch.“He didn’t laugh. And I thought, ‘Well, that’s Bowie,’” Mr. Schlosser recalled in “Live From New York: The Complete, Uncensored History of ‘Saturday Night Live’ as Told by Its Stars, Writers, and Guests” (2002), by James Andrew Miller and Tom Shales. “And then after a while, he started to chuckle. And then he’d actually laugh. And I figured, ‘Well, if he likes it, it’s going to have a wider audience than most people think.’”Mr. Michaels, in a phone interview, said that Mr. Schlosser had been a staunch backer of the show.“We wouldn’t have been on the air without him,” he said. “‘Live’ was his idea, not mine. He just believed in the show. He protected it.”Mr. Schlosser, a lawyer, had been an executive in NBC’s business affairs department, where he negotiated programming contracts to carry, among other events, the 1964 Summer Olympics from Tokyo and talent deals like ones with the comedian Bob Hope, whose specials were a mainstay of NBC’s prime-time schedule.“There were always kickers to his deals,” Mr. Schlosser told the Television Academy in an interview in 2007. With each new one, NBC had to buy a piece of land from Hope, one of the largest private landowners in California.“We bought it, got capital gains and never lost money on it,” Mr. Schlosser said.In 1966, Mr. Schlosser was named NBC’s vice president for programs on the West Coast, based in Burbank, Calif. Over six years, he was involved in developing numerous shows, among them some with Black stars, like the popular comedian Flip Wilson’s variety series and “Julia,” a sitcom starring Diahann Carroll as a single nurse with a son. He also hired the first woman and the first Black person to be vice presidents in the department.Flip Wilson, left, and Richard Pryor in 1973 on “The Flip Wilson Show,” which Mr. Schlosser had helped develop.Paul W. Bailey/NBCU Photo Bank, via Getty ImagesMr. Schlosser particularly championed “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In,” a fast-paced satirical series that made its debut in early 1968. It was considered outrageous then for the political and risqué humor of its skits, performed by a cast of future stars including Goldie Hawn and Lily Tomlin.George Schlatter, the executive producer of “Laugh-In,” recalled that Mr. Schlosser had protected him from those within NBC who found the show’s content offensive.“Every Tuesday morning there was a parade into his office — censors, lawyers, bookkeepers,” Mr. Schlatter said by phone. “They’d say, ‘Herb, talk to him.’ Then he’d say to me, ‘I promised them I’d talk to you.’ And he’d say, ‘Just keep doing what you’re doing.’”Herbert Samuel Schlosser was born on April 21, 1926, in Atlantic City, N.J. His father, Abraham, owned a furniture store; his mother, Anna (Olesker) Schlosser, was a homemaker.After serving stateside in the Navy, he studied public and international affairs at Princeton University, graduating in 1949. Two years later, he graduated from Yale Law School.He started as a lawyer with a Wall Street firm, but the insurance work there bored him, and he moved to Phillips Nizer Benjamin Krim & Ballon (now called Phillips Nizer LLP), a Manhattan firm with many film and television clients. That experience led to his hiring around 1957 as general counsel of California National Productions, a film, merchandising and syndication subsidiary of NBC. He later became its chief operating officer before moving to NBC’s business affairs department in 1960.Johnny Carson in his first appearance as host of “The Tonight Show,” on Oct. 1, 1962. Mr. Schlosser had led the negotiations that brought him to NBC from ABC.NBCU Photo Bank, via Getty ImagesAs a lawyer with the department, he led the talks to bring Carson to NBC to replace Jack Paar as the host of “Tonight” in 1962. At the time, Carson was with ABC as M.C. of the game show “Who Do You Trust?,” and ABC required him to fulfill the last six months of his contract.Mr. Schlosser said he had agreed to pay Mr. Carson $2,500 a week (about $21,000 today). But when ABC held up his departure, one of Mr. Carson’s agents made a further demand.“He said, ‘Now that you can’t get him, we want more money,’” Mr. Schlosser recalled in the Television Academy interview. “I said, ‘We’re sticking with our price.’”Mr. Schlosser rose steadily at NBC. He was named executive vice president of the television network in 1972; promoted to president a year later; and named president of the National Broadcasting Company, the network’s corporate parent, in 1974 and chief executive in 1977.“He supported quality programs and had an idea that news was probably the most important thing the networks did,” Bud Rukeyser, a former executive vice president of corporate communications for NBC, said in a phone interview. “He gave news the benefit of the doubt. If news wanted a half-hour to do something, the answer was always yes.”But Mr. Schlosser was ousted in 1978 and replaced by Fred Silverman, who had engineered ABC’s rise to first place in prime-time ratings as its chief of programming.Mr. Schlosser’s standing had been hurt by NBC’s inability to produce a new prime-time hit series the previous season and climb out of third place.Shortly before Mr. Schlosser left NBC, the network presented “Holocaust,” a four-part mini-series that he had greenlighted. It won eight Emmy Awards. His main contribution to the project, he said, was persuading the executive producer, Herbert Brodkin, to change the title of the series, which had been called “The Family Weiss,” after some of its main characters.Mr. Schlosser and his wife, Judith, in 2011 at an event held by the Museum of the Moving Image at the Manhattan restaurant Cipriani. Mr. Schlosser was the museum’s first chairman. Hiroko Masuike/The New York TimesMr. Schlosser didn’t have to go far for his next job: He was named an executive vice president of RCA, NBC’s parent company. His assignment was to develop software for RCA’s SelectaVision videodisc project. Three years later, he was named to run all of RCA’s entertainment activities, which also included RCA Records (but not NBC).He left in 1985 to become a senior adviser at Wertheim & Company, a Wall Street investment bank, as well as chairman of the planned Museum of the Moving Image, which opened in Queens in 1988. He remained there as either chairman or co-chairman until 2013.In addition to his wife, Judith (Gassner) Schlosser, Mr. Schlosser is survived by his son, Eric, the author of “Fast Food Nation”; a daughter, Lynn Jacobson, a former television executive; five grandchildren; and six great-grandchildren.Mr. Schlosser once recalled his certainty that “Saturday Night Live” could be a part of NBC for a long time, just as “Tonight” and “Today” were. Another model of late-night success at NBC under his watch was “The Midnight Special,” a series featuring pop and rock performers, that was broadcast on Fridays after “The Tonight Show” from 1973 until 1981.“NBC had this tradition of succeeding with shows like that,” he told the Television Academy. “To me, it was a no-brainer.” More

  • in

    Seth Meyers Demands His Own Ben & Jerry’s Flavor

    If Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon can be on ice cream containers, why not the “Late Night” host?Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

  • in

    Stephen Colbert Agrees With Mitch McConnell

    Colbert applauded the Senate minority leader for finally encouraging Americans to get vaccinated against Covid-19.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Late to the PartyStephen Colbert on Wednesday chastised Republicans who are changing their tune on the Covid-19 vaccines, including Mitch McConnell, the Senate minority leader, who is finally urging Americans to get vaccinated amid the spread of the more contagious Delta variant of the coronavirus.“Wow. I’ve got to say — and I hope no one ever takes this out of context — I agree with Mitch McConnell,” Colbert said.“The rising cases are being fueled by vaccine hesitancy, which itself is being fueled by a dangerous pathogen scientists are calling the Republican Party.” — STEPHEN COLBERTRepresentative Steve Scalise, Republican of Louisiana, also encouraged skeptics to get the shots after receiving his first dose this week, saying, “I’ve been vaccinated, many of my colleagues have been vaccinated, and the vaccine is safe, effective, and it’s widely available.”“Yeah, Steve, we know. We all got it months ago.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Steve Scalise is like the guy who just now found out about ‘Bridgerton’: [imitating Scalise] ‘You guys, it’s like Jane Austen, but with high, tight man butt. That Shonda Rimes has got a real future.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But Scalise seems to want it both ways, because he then criticized public health outreach, saying, ‘You’re seeing some people try to bully people into doing things instead of just encouraging them.’ OK, that’s a good point. Invite people in, entice them, don’t call them out. So tonight, we at ‘The Late Show’ have updated our prize for any unvaccinated Americans who go get the shot. You will now win a lifetime supply of ‘life’ and ‘time.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Inoculations have slowed dramatically, and less than half of the total U.S. population is fully vaccinated. So if you think of it like a pie, about half of the pie would be vaccinated while the other half wouldn’t be able to taste the pie because they have Covid.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bucking Tradition Edition)“Hey, I want to say congrats to the Milwaukee Bucks for winning their first N.B.A. championship in 50 years. Fifty years. That’s right, they beat the Phoenix Suns, 105-98. But of course, Arizona has demanded a recount.” — JIMMY FALLON“The game was such a disaster for the Suns, Chris Paul had to file a claim with State Farm to cover his losses.” — ANTHONY ANDERSON, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” referring to the Suns point guard“The finals’ M.V.P. was Giannis Antetokounmpo, who’s from Greece. Yep, a Greek N.B.A. superstar. He could be the first person to star in ‘Space Jam’ and ‘Mamma Mia.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAnthony Anderson, the guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” sent cameras to Hollywood Boulevard to find someone who could spell “Giannis Antetokounmpo.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightHannah Einbinder, star of the HBO Max series “Hacks,” will sit down with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“The Daily Show” became more politically oriented when it was hosted by Jon Stewart, pictured with Senator Bob Dole in 1999, the year Stewart took over from Craig Kilborn. Comedy CentralMadeleine Smithberg and Lizz Winstead, the creators of “The Daily Show,” look back as it turns 25 years old on Thursday. More