The Tonight Show (TV Program)

Subterms

    More stories

    • 75 Shares149 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Fallon Rallies for Queen Bey

      by

      The “Tonight Show” host was excited about Beyoncé’s plans to appear with the vice president: “What a night — the most powerful woman in the world and Kamala Harris.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Texas Hold ’emThe pop superstar Beyoncé will join Vice President Kamala Harris onstage at a campaign rally in Houston on Friday.“What a night — the most powerful woman in the world and Kamala Harris,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.“Woo, baby. Talk about a get! The last time Beyoncé appeared onstage with a presidential candidate was Hillary in 2016, so things are looking good.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Yeah, Beyoncé will sing ‘Irreplaceable,’ and Biden will be like, ‘Too soon!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Harris is rallying with Beyoncé while Trump will be onstage claiming migrants are eating Snoop Dogg and Doja Cat.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Daddy Issues Edition)“At a Trump campaign rally yesterday in Georgia, former Fox News host Tucker Carlson compared former President Trump returning to office to a father who comes home to give a ‘bad little girl’ a ‘vigorous spanking’ for being disobedient. Wow. I guess for my part, I’m just glad he’s standing behind a podium.” — SETH MEYERS“OK, so this might be why you’ve never been invited to speak at a political rally before.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“You know, most people just clear their browser history, they don’t put it in their speeches.” — SETH MEYERS“Not to fact-check you there, Tuck, but we know from Stormy Daniels that Daddy’s the one who likes to get spanked.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You see, America? These Trump people — they aren’t weird. They just know that Trump is a big strong daddy that’s coming home to spank us all. Totally normal stuff. I can’t wait to hear Tucker’s thoughts on the economy: ‘Inflation is like a babysitter, and she’s been naughty.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“I just can’t figure out why they’re having trouble appealing to female voters.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingColbert and Julia Louis-Dreyfus shared their earliest memories during “The Colbert Questionert” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutBridget Everett in a scene from Season 3 of “Somebody Somewhere.”Sandy Morris/HBOBridget Everett’s small-town dramedy series “Somebody Somewhere” returns to HBO on Sunday for its third and final season. More

    • 88 Shares169 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Condemns Trump for Stanning Hitler

      by

      On Wednesday, Seth Meyers said he was “starting to think Trump doesn’t watch the ends of documentaries.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Mein Bad’Donald Trump’s longest-serving chief of staff, John Kelly, said the former president had said more than once while in office that Adolf Hitler “did some good things.”On Wednesday, Seth Meyers said he was “starting to think Trump doesn’t watch the ends of documentaries.”“Once you have to explain to someone that Hitler is bad, there’s not much else to talk about. You don’t see many first dates survive that.” — SETH MEYERS“Seriously, Trump, Hitler never did anything good. He even sucked at waving. Like, dude, God gave you elbows — use them.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“I don’t even think you have to know history. You can probably get all the info you need from Mel Brooks movies and Bugs Bunny cartoons.” — SETH MEYERS“This is the first election where reporters have to ask, ‘Who’d you root for when you watched ‘Saving Private Ryan’?” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump made it worse today when he said, ‘Oops, mein bad.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lose Yourself Edition)“At a campaign event in Detroit, Eminem introduced Barack Obama. Which makes sense, they both made a career out of pretending to be Black.” — GREG GUTFELD“You know, somewhere, Trump is yelling at his aides: [imitating Trump] ‘How could M&Ms betray me? I don’t understand. Is there no loyalty?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But it’s nice to see Obama pay homage to Eminem because it means that Black people have finally accepted that Eminem is the greatest rapper of all time. And look — no, stop — I know how it feels. I went through it every time Tiger Woods won a golf tournament, OK?” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Was that song Osama bin Laden? Because Obama killed it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I will say, maybe Obama should skip that line about ‘dropping bombs,’ you know? Are you still rapping, or are you doing a drone strike?” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Bits Worth WatchingMembers of the New York Liberty joined Jimmy Fallon for a team selfie celebrating their WNBA championship on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJulia Louis-Dreyfus will take “The Colbert Questionert” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutThe gang’s all here for the sixth and final season of “What We Do in the Shadows.”Russ Martin/FXThe vampire comedy series “What We Do in the Shadows” returned for its sixth and final season on FX and Hulu this week. More

    • 125 Shares199 Views

      in Television

      Michael Kosta Thinks He’s Found Elon Musk’s Next Failed Purchase

      by

      The “Daily Show” host said Musk “bought Twitter just to drive it into the ground” and is now considering doing the same for America.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.How Low Can You Go?Elon Musk, who’s so excited to support Donald Trump that he jumped up and down to show it, said on Saturday that he’d give $1 million per day to a randomly chosen registered Pennsylvania voter who signs an online petition.On Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Michael Kosta called Musk “a man of gravitas, a man of dignity, a man with roughly a four-inch vertical leap” and wondered, “How exactly does this bribe — sorry, gift — work?”“Wow, Elon’s giving a million dollars to his fans. Now they can afford the best anime girlfriend pillow money can buy.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“He’s so rich, he bought Twitter just to drive it into the ground for his own personal pleasure, and now he’s thinking, ‘Well, what if I did the same with America?’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“I know what you’re thinking right now: How could Republicans sink so low? And also, can I sink low enough to register for this?’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“During his first solo campaign event in support of former President Trump last week, Elon Musk urged the crowd to ‘pester’ their friends and family who are not yet registered to vote, adding, ‘I would if I had either of those.’” — SETH MEYERSA Tale of Two Town HallsOn his Fox News show on Tuesday, Greg Gutfeld had harsh words for Kamala Harris, saying her Monday night town hall in Michigan “had all the spontaneity of synchronized swimming.”“So right off the bat, we got the lay of the land — another manicured platform for Kamala to blurt out her now legendary word salads. I mean, this broad ought to come to every event with a side of ranch and a bag of croutons.” — GREG GUTFELDOn “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon noted that Trump had canceled a Tuesday event that would have been titled “Make America Healthy Again.”“Tough to make America healthy again when you were just making them French fries a day ago,” Fallon joked, referring to the ex-president’s campaign appearance behind a McDonald’s counter.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

    • 113 Shares129 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Mocks Trump for His McDonald’s Photo Op

      by

      The ex-president’s stint at the drive-through window was “blue-collar drag,” said Stephen Colbert. “But with more makeup.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Blue-Collar Drag’Former President Donald Trump appeared behind a McDonald’s counter on Sunday, trolling Vice President Kamala Harris (he claims, with no evidence, that she’s lying about having worked at one in the ’80s). “No surprise, the man who’s never had an actual job in his life did not actually work at McDonald’s,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. Citing news reports, he said the Trump appearance “was a half-hour photo op at a closed McDonald’s, and the people he served were preselected supporters.”“He’s not the common man. This is all just blue-collar drag. But with more makeup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Well, McDonald’s screwed up my order again!” — SETH MEYERS“That’s his whole campaign right now: ‘Ave Maria’ dance party, ‘I’m going to deport everybody,’ football tailgate, blame the Jews if I lose, McDonald’s drive-through.” — JON STEWART“Yeah, he had a great time at McDonald’s, ’cause for 20 minutes, Trump actually ran a successful business.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump told reporters, ‘I love McDonald’s. I love jobs. I like to see good jobs.’ Wow, I just realized, if you replace ‘I’ with ‘me,’ he has the same vocabulary as Cookie Monster: ‘Me love McDonald’s. Me love jobs.’” — SETH MEYERS“I love when he said ‘I’ve always wanted to work at McDonald’s’ with a straight face and expects us to believe it. Oh, do you? Well, no one’s stopping you, bro. I noticed you didn’t pick up an application on your way out. Maybe you can get a job jumping out of the ball pit and scaring away kids who have been there for too long.” — SETH MEYERS“Give him the job. I implore you. I don’t care if his references don’t shake out. Save democracy, give him the job.” — JON STEWARTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eggplant Emoji Edition)“While speaking over the weekend at a campaign rally in Pennsylvania, former President Trump discussed golf legend Arnold Palmer and said he was ‘all man.’ Well, technically, he was half man, half iced tea.” — SETH MEYERS“But for Trump, this was actually one of his milder genital rants. This was kind of his Kidz Bop genitals rant: classy, body-positive, he was complimenting somebody else. I don’t know why we have to parse everything that this guy says so sternly.” — JON STEWART“I think one of his staffers must have said, ‘We need to focus on the polls,’ and Trump was, like, ‘Oh, I’ll focus on the pole.’” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

    • 75 Shares179 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Kimmel Debunks the Government-Hurricane-Control Theory

      by

      “The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé,” Kimmel said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Eye of the StormMeteorologists in Florida and North Carolina have been facing death threats and angry messages from viewers who think they are complicit in a Democratic-led plot to direct hurricanes toward Republican voting districts.Jimmy Kimmel was flabbergasted on Thursday by this “bonkers idea.” He said, “Donald Trump has pushed us to the point where we can’t even agree on the weather. What a stupid time to be alive.”“And of course, before the storm even hit, the Trumpers were blaming the White House for all this, which is interesting because two weeks ago, 11 House Republicans from Florida voted against keeping the government and FEMA fully funded. Then, when Hurricane Helene came to visit, they all signed a letter asking President Biden for federal funding. This is how it goes now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Has anyone thought about unplugging America and plugging it back in again? ’Cause it could use a reboot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Donald Trump should be forced to live on an island with all these people. Listen, dummies, the government can’t control the weather. The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (25 Days Until the Election Edition)“You guys, Election Day is only 25 days away. Just think, in 25 days, Trump will either be saying he won or saying he didn’t lose.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, 25 days. Trump just got an election Advent calendar that gives him a new conspiracy theory every day: [imitating Trump] ‘Ooh, immigrants are stealing our Hulu passwords. They’re watching “Murders in the Building” for free.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The polls say it is a tossup. It might ultimately come down to which candidate can deliver a new R.V. to Clarence Thomas first.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingEric Idle of Monty Python discussed his new book, “The Spamalot Diaries,” with Jordan Klepper on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutLaura Dern and Liam Hemsworth in “Lonely Planet.”Anne Marie Fox/NetflixLaura Dern and Liam Hemsworth have a May/December romance in “Lonely Planet,” from the writer-director Susannah Grant. More

    • 125 Shares109 Views

      in Television

      Seth Meyers Is Starting to Wonder About Trump and Putin

      by

      A book says Donald Trump sent Covid testing equipment to the Russian leader. Meyers suspects he threw in “some snacks, a bath bomb and a CD.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Testing, TestingFormer President Donald Trump has denied a report in a new book that he sent Covid testing machines to Vladimir Putin for his personal use during the pandemic, but Seth Meyers wasn’t buying it on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”“How did Trump send them? Was it part of a care package with some snacks, a bath bomb and a CD that said ‘Mixtape for Vlad from Don: My heart is loyal only to you’?”— SETH MEYERS“People were quarantining, contact tracing, seeking medical care. I know you weren’t doing that since you were basically a Typhoid Gary who would hold superspreader events at the White House, and then when you yourself got Covid, took a joyride in an S.U.V. like you were an off-brand pope.” — SETH MEYERS, addressing Trump“Trump was telling Americans that Covid testing was overrated on the exact same day he was telling Vladimir Putin he was sending him his best Covid tests — his [expletive] Glengarry Covid tests.” — SETH MEYERS“To be fair, lots of people in Putin’s circle were suddenly dying: [imitating Putin] ‘Falling from balcony is very common Covid symptom.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Kamala’s Media Blitz Edition)“So with less than a month to go, both campaigns are going all out — starting with Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, who has been everywhere recently: news shows, daytime talk shows, satellite radio, podcasts, your kid’s piano recital — she applauded, but seriously, ‘Chopsticks’? I mean, you can do better, Arlo.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Meanwhile, today, Trump complained that CBS edited Kamala Harris’s interview on ‘60 Minutes’ to make her look better. Trump said, ‘It was clearly edited. She didn’t say one thing about people eating pets in Ohio. Not one. Didn’t even mention it.’” — JIMMY FALLON“In a new interview with radio host Howard Stern, Vice President Kamala Harris said that she doesn’t really take naps, setting up a clear contrast with President Biden, who took one mid-debate.” — SETH MEYERS“During the same interview with Howard Stern, Vice President Kamala Harris said that she usually eats a bowl of Raisin Bran or Special K for breakfast, whereas her opponent, as we all know, is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingQuinta Brunson, the “Abbott Elementary” creator and star, dished on her series’ crossover episode with “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJordan Peele will promote his revival of the horror-themed hidden-camera reality series “Scare Tactics” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This Out“Unknown American” is a portrait from the 1940s to 1950s.The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Twentieth-Century Photography FundThe Met Gala’s 2025 theme, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” is the museum’s first fashion exhibition to focus solely on the work of designers of color. More

    • 88 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      No Lie: George Washington Is Funny Now

      by

      The first president is usually at the margins of popular culture. As a recurring character on “Saturday Night Live” and a trend on TikTok, is he finally having a moment?Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr and Thomas Jefferson were immortalized in “Hamilton.” John Adams had his own HBO mini-series, and Samuel Adams is a beer. Ben Franklin often appears experimenting with his kite when characters travel back in time to Colonial America.And then there’s George Washington.He might be the first president, but the stoic general who led the Americans to an unlikely Revolutionary War victory doesn’t exactly lend himself to memes and caricatures in popular culture. Other founders immersed in drama and scandal (Hamilton, Jefferson) or at least more quotable (Franklin, Adams) have gotten more attention.But Washington — “a marble man of impossible virtue and perfection,” as the New York Times book critic Michiko Kakutani once called him — might finally be having his moment.Over the weekend, “Saturday Night Live” brought back “Washington’s Dream,” one of its biggest hits last season. The comedian Nate Bargatze, known for his deadpan delivery, plays a subdued, earnest Washington who is trying to inspire his soldiers with his peculiar vision of a free America. In the original version, at camp, he dwells on a new, confusing system of weights and measurements (while consigning the metric system to “only certain unpopular sports, like track and swimming”).In the latest, Washington leads his soldiers across the Delaware River as he yearns to Americanize the English language, proclaiming: “I dream that one day our great nation will have a word for the number 12. We shall call it a ‘dozen.’”A soldier asks what other numbers would have their own words: “None,” Bargatze replied. “Only 12 shall have its own word, because we are free men.”We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

    • 75 Shares119 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Kimmel: Putin Is Trump’s ‘KGBFF’

      by

      Kimmel shared tidbits from Bob Woodward’s new book, including that Donald Trump had spoken with Vladimir Putin seven times since leaving office — “which is less than Ivanka, but more than Tiffany.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.KGBFF 4-EverIn his new book, “War,” the journalist Bob Woodward reported that former President Donald Trump had spoken to Vladimir Putin as many as seven times since leaving office. Woodward also wrote that Trump sent the Russian president Covid-19 testing equipment in 2020, at a time it was hard to find, for personal use.“You wouldn’t want one of the most villainous murderers on the planet to get a cough, would you?” Jimmy Kimmel joked of Trump’s “KGBFF” on Tuesday.“I mean, nurses, doctors, American hospitals couldn’t get these machines — he’s sending them to the devil himself.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The book says Trump has spoken to Vladimir Putin seven times since he left office, which is less than Ivanka, but more than Tiffany. It’s right in that daughter sweet spot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s how you know they’re tight. Adult men never call each other. I haven’t called my best friend seven times total.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump once made a senior aide leave the room so he could have a ‘private’ call with Putin, which: [imitating Putin] ‘Hello, Donald, what are you wearing? I’m shirtless on my horse again.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So, Trump was secretly giving sound medical advice to a foreign adversary while publicly convincing Americans to poison themselves with bleach. I’ve got to say, most presidents would do that the other way around, but hey, you do you, Trump.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Category 5 Edition)“Wow, Donald, you’ve never heard of a Category 5 hurricane hitting land? That’s weird, because I remember one happening while you were president.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, on Trump’s spotty recollection“He was probably busy with Kanye during that one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He did get his meteorologist degree from Trump University.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“For all you people who think he is in mental decline, it turns out he’s been the same level of stupidity for years.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingVice President Kamala Harris cracked open a beer during her sit-down with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightRiley Keough will promote the new posthumous memoir by her mother, Lisa Marie Presley, on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutLyle Menendez in a scene from the documentary “The Menendez Brothers.”NetflixDespite promising exclusive new interviews, Netflix’s new documentary “The Menendez Brothers” relies on the tabloid appeal surrounding renewed interest in the 1989 murder. More