Late Night Recaps Biden’s Annual ‘Status Update’

Trevor Noah joked Biden’s speech was “like a birthday card from a 4-year-old: A lot of words didn’t make sense, but you got what it was trying to say.”

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Late night hosts recapped President Biden’s State of the Union address on Wednesday night, which Trevor Noah called “the one night a year where the president gives the country a status update about how things are going.”

“Let’s talk about the State of the Union address, the one night a year Joe Biden stays up past 6 p.m.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Biden spoke for 62 minutes. Well, actually he spoke for 10 with 52 minutes of clapping.” — JIMMY FALLON

“More than 33 million Americans watched Grampotus speak for more than an hour. He announced he will release 60 million barrels of oil from our national reserve, which is good news for Ted Cruz’s hair.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Last night, President Biden gave the shortest State of the Union address since 2016, clocking in at one hour and two minutes. The shortest — I like this trend. I like it. Let’s get it down — let’s get it down to one TikTok, just save us all a bunch of time.” — JAMES CORDEN

“You know, at times this speech was like a birthday card from a 4-year-old: A lot of words didn’t make sense, but you got what it was trying to say.” — TREVOR NOAH

“But aside from policing and Covid and Ukraine, Biden also brought up a lot of policies last night that he wanted Congress to pass this year, like letting Medicare negotiate the price of drugs and doubling clean energy production and raising taxes on corporations, and strengthening voting rights — which are all great ideas that I can’t wait for him to bring up again at next year’s State of the Union. Because, I mean, if we’re honest, none of that [expletive] is going to pass through this Congress.” — TREVOR NOAH

“According to a new poll, 71 percent of Americans who watched President Biden’s State of the Union address had a positive reaction to the speech. But let’s be honest: Everyone who would have had a negative reaction was watching ‘Yellowstone.’” — SETH MEYERS

“I’m sorry: ‘God protect our troops — Go get him.’ Get who? Go get God?” — TREVOR NOAH, on Joe Biden’s yelling “Go get him!” at the end of his State of the Union speech

“Right after, Putin called Trump and was like, [imitating Putin] ‘Is he talking about me?’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Go get him who? Does Biden just randomly shout, ‘Go get him’ sometimes? I mean, it would explain why his dog kept attacking people.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Who are we supposed to go get? Putin? Pokemon?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Mike Pence was watching from home and was like, ‘Not again. What did I do this time?’” — JAMES CORDEN

“Tonight Show” guest Zoë Kravitz took Jimmy Fallon in a game of “Can You Feel It?” where they guess objects they can’t see by touch alone.

Serena Williams will sit down with Trevor Noah for the first time on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”

Jingyu Lin for The New York Times

The women behind “The Dropout” seek to humanize Elizabeth Holmes in their new Hulu series about the disgraced tech entrepreneur.

Source: Television -


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