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    Late Night Thinks Trump Is the Biggest Loser in the Midterms

    The former president was said to be livid that candidates he endorsed lost on Tuesday, including Dr. Oz.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Losing CombinationLate night hosts commented on the midterm results on Wednesday night, including how poorly the night went for former President Donald Trump, who was said to be “livid” about Dr. Mehmet Oz’s loss in Pennsylvania.“They say the last time Trump was this disappointed was when Eric was born,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“In fact, it’s being reported that he is blaming Melania for pushing him to endorse Dr. Oz in the first place, saying it was ‘not her best decision.’ Yeah, and I’m sure in response, Melania was, like, ‘Yes, it’s true, I am very bad at picking men.’” — TREVOR NOAH“It might even be her second-worst decision.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump is so angry at Melania, they’re no longer sleeping in separate beds.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump was so mad he ran upstairs and slammed the door of his tanning bed.” — JIMMY FALLON“On the bright side, Dr. Oz now can go back to doing what he does best, which is analyzing the shape and color of our stool.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oprah right now is sitting at home cackling like a ‘Game of Thrones’ villain: ‘Tell Mehmet I want him to know it was me.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oz says he’s just happy he doesn’t have to pretend to root for the Philadelphia Steelers anymore.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Not Seeing Red Edition)“Whatever happens, it was less a red wave and more of a purple nurple.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s like what happens when you accidentally wash your Klan robes with your MAGA hat. Just a little pink — a pink wash.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I would say it was less like a red wave and more like a red wedding. The Republicans were the Starks, and Donald Trump was a dragon who burned his whole [expletive] party to a crisp.” — SETH MEYERS“For both parties it wasn’t great, but also not terrible. It was the political version of eating at TGI Fridays.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingBono took the Colbert Questionnaire while on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightWill Ferrell will inevitably get into some high jinks during his Thursday appearance on “The Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutPhoto Illustration by The New York Times. Photo by Harry Langdon/Getty ImagesThis week’s “Still Processing” digs into the resurgence of disco and Donna Summer. More

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    Late Night Rates Trump’s New Nickname for Ron DeSantis

    “Trump doesn’t even know what that means,” Jimmy Fallon said after Donald Trump referred to the Florida governor as “Ron DeSanctimonious.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Best He Could Come Up WithFormer President Donald Trump debuted a new nickname for Gov. Ron DeSantis at a Pennsylvania rally over the weekend, referring to him as “Ron DeSanctimonious.”“Trump doesn’t even know what that means. He thought he was casting a Harry Potter spell on him,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“That’s right, former President Trump referred to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as ‘Ron DeSanctimonious,’ which is a risky move for Trump, because that’s six syllables.” — SETH MEYERS“Has anyone ever been worse at coming up with nicknames? Imagine Trump in ‘Top Gun’: [imitating Trump] ‘People! People! I know we all love Maverick, but I think I got one that beats it. Are you ready? Everybody ready? Airplane Guy.’” — SETH MEYERS“You saw that, breaking out a classic Trump nickname. I mean, at least we think it was a nickname. It could’ve just been Trump trying to say ‘DeSantis.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, there’s nothing voters like more than insults from a word-a-day calendar: ‘Let’s get bellicose! DeSantis is a pusillanimous sycophant! Incarcerate him aloft!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, he’s lost some speed on his nickname fastball, you know? In the old days, it would have been something like ‘Smelly Ron,’ and we would’ve all went with it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Dr. Oz Edition)“Even Oprah, who made Dr. Oz, endorsed his opponent, John Fetterman. Which is — I mean, look, that’s like, that would be like me not endorsing Guillermo. It just wouldn’t happen.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Poor Dr. Oz. If he wins, he’s gonna actually have to move to Pennsylvania. I don’t know if he knows this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And that’s always how it goes, people. At some point in life, you have to kill the monster you create. Yeah, Dr. Frankenstein and his creature. Obi-wan and Anakin. Parents and their kids.” — TREVOR NOAH“Astronomers predict that a total lunar eclipse will occur tomorrow. So if you look outside and the moon turns red, don’t worry — it just means Dr. Oz won his Senate race.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert announced the winner of People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2022 on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert will both go live on election night.Also, Check This OutSasha Diamond, left, and Shannon Tyo play ambitious twin sisters in Jiehae Park’s “Peerless.”James LeynseFemale playwrights are adapting and revamping Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” for the modern age. More

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    Late Night Takes Up Herschel Walker’s Résumé Challenge

    The football star and Senate candidate said he’d put his accomplishments up against Barack Obama’s any time. “Bold!” said Stephen Colbert.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Best Man for the JobHerschel Walker fired back at Barack Obama this week after the former president said that having been a good football player didn’t qualify Walker for the Senate. Walker said he’d put his résumé up against Obama’s any time.“Bold!” said Stephen Colbert, who presented his lists of the two men’s accomplishments.“Barack Obama was the first Black president of the Harvard Law Review, a U.S. senator, president of the United States, won the Nobel Peace Prize, has an Emmy, two Grammys, three number-one best-selling books, was voted Time’s person of the year twice, has a multimillion-dollar Netflix deal and killed Osama bin Laden. Not bad. That’s not too shabby. Meanwhile, Herschel Walker’s résumé says, ‘Good at football, holds Georgia’s single-season pregnancy record, and brain broke.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The only thing your résumé has that his doesn’t is typos.” — SETH MEYERS“First of all, it wouldn’t even matter if Walker’s résumé was more impressive than Obama’s, because Obama’s has a line in his résumé that says ‘not crazy.’ That carries a lot of weight in a job interview.” — TREVOR NOAH“But also, Obama was president, people! He was president for two terms. Herschel Walker can’t even carry any of his pregnancies to two terms.” — TREVOR NOAH“I’m kidding, his résumé is impressive. I mean, any résumé is impressive when you can just make it up, right? [imitating Walker] ‘I was a cop, I was an F.B.I. agent, a ballerina, I discovered nitrogen, I also am nitrogen. The list goes on and on.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bone Deep Edition)“President Biden last night gave a speech on ‘the state of democracy’ and it turns out, it’s not great.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He said, ‘In our bones, we know democracy …’ That means we are screwed. Yeah, whenever an old person feels something in their bones, it means a storm’s a-coming. [imitating an elderly person] ‘I feel it in my bones. It’s either that or osteoporosis, but I think it’s a storm.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Biden’s clearly at that age where he receives all his information via bones: [imitating Biden] ‘There goes the elbow. There goes the elbow. It’s going to rain. Knee’s acting up again. Low voter turnout in Broward County.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon joined the “Sherman’s Showcase” stars Bashir Salahuddin and Diallo Riddle for a musical medley on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me,” the singer is in the trustworthy hands of the veteran director Alek Keshishian.Apple TV+The new documentary “Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me” captures the pop star’s challenges with mental illness, lupus and fame. More

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    Stephen Colbert Isn’t Amused by Elon Musk’s Plan to Monetize Twitter

    Colbert said that Musk’s idea to charge users for verification would lead to “chaos” on Twitter. “I rely on that blue check mark to know which of my butters I can’t not believe!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Check, Please!According to a leaked business plan, Elon Musk is trying to figure out ways to monetize Twitter and is considering charging Twitter users monthly for verified blue check marks on their profiles.“But that would be chaos,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday. “I rely on that blue check mark to know which of my butters I can’t not believe!”“Yeah, $8 a month for the blue check mark, because I guess he’s hoping that everyone else on Twitter will also make terrible financial decisions like he did.” — TREVOR NOAH“With $8 a month, you can subscribe — you can get like, Netflix, you can get Paramount+, you can get Hulu, or you can pay so that people verify that they’re actually [expletive] on you: [imitating tweeter] ‘Oh, this is the real Trevor Noah? I hate this guy, yeah!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Why are you charging the people? Give it to everyone for free, or give it to no one. Give it to no one, right? But it doesn’t make sense to offer it as ‘equality’ and then put a price on it, do you get what I’m saying? Can you imagine if M.L.K. was out there like, ‘I have a dream. I have a dream, and I’ll tell you all about it for $8.99 a month.’” — TREVOR NOAH“And are you telling me that paragons of authenticity like Papa Johns and Papa Johns U.K. will risk falling to the same level as unverified frauds like Papa Johns Houston? You know it’s bad when Papa Johns says, ‘We cannot in good conscience verify that that is pizza.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (One Week From Midterms Edition)“The midterm elections are just one week away. That’s right, in one week, we’ll know who gets the House, the Senate and the upper hand at Thanksgiving.” — JIMMY FALLON“The midterms are only seven days and four secret Herschel Walker abortions away.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You can tell the midterms are close when the fund-raising emails are in all caps: ‘JIMMY, I NEED $10 NOW!’” — JIMMY FALLON“And the big question for Republicans is when to start claiming fraud. You don’t want to go too early, because what if you win? You don’t want to pull a stop the steal on yourself. It’s tricky, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJeff Wright, a “Late Night with Seth Meyers” writer, hosted a support group for some undecided voters on Tuesday’s show.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightYvonne Strahovski will chat about the final season of “The Handmaid’s Tale” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutChristina Applegate in the final season of “Dead to Me,” premiering Nov. 17 on Netflix. “This is the first time anyone’s going to see me the way I am,” she said.Saeed Adyani/NetflixThe “Dead to Me” star Christina Applegate was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis during filming of the final season, but she was determined to finish strong. More