Noah said Russia has been preparing to play chess while Americans “love dumb games now,” poking fun at a preference for Wordle.
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What’s ‘Checkmate’ in Russian?
Russia continued to threaten to invade Ukraine on Thursday despite claims that its forces would be pulling back from the border.
“I’m not going to lie, guys: It wouldn’t be a surprise if Russia was being sneaky,” Trevor Noah said. “I mean, this is the same country that hides dolls inside bigger dolls. Do you know how sick you have to be to do that?”
“But America is certain — they’re certain — that Russia is still planning to invade. In fact, today the U.S. Secretary of State even said what Russia might do to justify an invasion is launch fake or even real chemical weapons at themselves and then blame it on Ukraine. Yeah, yeah, first of all, uh, spoilers, hello!” — TREVOR NOAH
“Secondly, can you imagine that, staging a chemical attack on yourself to justify your invasion? That’s pretty messed up, especially for the Russian soldiers who have to carry out the mission: [imitating Russian soldier] ‘So we launch this on ourselves but this is fake, yes?’ [imitating another Russian soldier] ‘Yeah, we will find out when bomb explodes. Mystery, excitement.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“And you know, people, as erratic as the Russians’ actions might seem, you understand what they’re doing right now, right? They’re playing chess. This is literally what chess is all about: [imitating chess player] ‘Oh, I’m moving forward. I’m moving backwards. I’m attacking. No, I’m not. The horse is going this way, then it turns.’ This is what Russia is doing — and the Russians love playing chess. They’ve been designed for this moment. Meanwhile, the rest of us, we don’t play chess anymore. We love dumb games now. We’re like, ‘Uh, I need a five-letter word that ends in d-e. Plate? No.’” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Pillow Drop Edition)
“Lindell has a plan to support the Canadian truckers, and you’ll never guess what it is — send them a bunch of MyPillows.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on MyPillow C.E.O. Mike Lindell
“Lindell loaded up a truck with 10,000 pillows — almost as many as on the bed in your great-aunt’s guest room.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Who would’ve ever guessed his voter fraud crusade would wind up being the second-craziest thing he’s done?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Mike told The Daily Beast his backup plan was to fly a helicopter over the border and drop the pillows from the sky. Then he claimed he was trolling the reporter. But at this point, how would we have any way of knowing when you’re joking or not?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“OK, so the Canadian border guards are stopping him from driving into the country, so he’s playing it safe by using a helicopter to violate their airspace. Good thing he’s got those 10,000 pillows — they can cushion the fall when the Canadian air force shoots his [expletive] down.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And another question, why are you sending pillows to Canada? They have pillows. I think that’s where Canadian geese come from, Canada.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Jordan Klepper went straight to the source and talked with Canadian truckers protesting the Covid-19 vaccine mandate on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Jason Zinoman investigates the long, rich Jewish tradition of grappling with antisemitism by laughing at it.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
