“You know what they say: If at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth or tenth you don’t succeed, cry, cry again,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Hush Money Monday
Former President Donald Trump’s first criminal trial starts on Monday, despite several failed efforts to have it delayed.
“His only move left is to have sex with everyone in the court and pay them $130,000 to keep their mouth shut,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.
“You know what they say: If at first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth or tenth you don’t succeed, cry, cry again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump has tried everything. He even requested a delay so he could mourn the loss of O.J.” — JIMMY FALLON
On “Late Night,” Seth Meyers pointed out that Trump had spent $100 million — or $230,000 a day — on legal bills for his combined court cases.
“First of all, it’s very funny that you have to pay all the lawyers for all your criminal trials through something called Save America. Save America from what, you?” — SETH MEYERS
“Also, $230,000 a day — for comparison’s sake — you can buy a pristine 1967 Chevy Corvette with original transmission and teal-blue interior for roughly the same price, which is perfect because that’s Joe Biden’s favorite car.” — SETH MEYERS
“Biden should pull that thing up in front of the courthouse every day: ‘[imitating Biden] Hey, Donny, what’d you spend your $230K on?’ Every day that Trump drops that much money on lawyers you should have to hear Joe Biden say the words ‘Vroom vroom.’” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (R.I.P. O.J. Edition)
“As most of you probably know, the big story was that O.J. Simpson went to hell today.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s rare that a celebrity as famous as O.J. doesn’t get an outpouring of love after news of his death, but it makes sense.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Guys, as I mentioned, the big news today is O.J. Simpson died. As we speak, someone is trying to write the most impossible eulogy of all time.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Jordan Klepper joined Michael Kosta, the guest host, for “Men Talk About Abortion” on Thursday’s “The Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Wade Allain-Marcus’s reboot of the cult hit “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” keeps the plot from the 1991 original.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
