Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

Plan B(iden)

“Yesterday, President Biden announced a dramatic change to America’s Covid plan: There is one,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday night.

Late-night hosts shared their enthusiasm about Biden’s promise that vaccination production and distribution will be ramping up.

“That means February 2 — next week, Groundhog’s Day — Punxsutawney Phil can come out of his burrow and get vaccinated and stay within six feet of his shadow.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“On his first day in office, the president signed an order requiring masks in federal buildings and on federal lands. Then on his second day, Biden signed another order mandating masks in airports and on many planes, trains, ships and buses. And then on the third day, he just yelled ‘Let’s get loud!’ and took the rest of the day off.” — SAMANTHA BEE

“The most exciting news: The federal government is buying enough additional doses to vaccinate 300 million Americans by the end of the summer. So next Halloween, you know the hottest costume is going to be sexy normal people saying hello. They’re sexy, because they can touch hands.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Fortunately, some states have recently changed their laws so more people are eligible to give shots. In New York, for example, that list now includes pharmacists, dentists and podiatrists. But still no-late night hosts, which is weird, considering how I’ve been consistently injecting giggles into the soul of America for five years now.” — SAMANTHA BEE

The Punchiest Punchlines (The Number Two Test Edition)

“China has rolled out an anal swab coronavirus test, saying it’s more accurate than the throat method. It’s more accurate, but it’s still being called the number two test.” — JIMMY FALLON

“So this is what they meant when they said the pandemic was finally starting to turn around.” — JAMES CORDEN

“You know what? There’s a point at which I would rather just have the coronavirus.” — TREVOR NOAH

“The plus side is with testing like this, you might not even need a vaccine. You just tell people, ‘Hey, we’re not having lockdowns, but every time you leave your apartment, some stranger’s going to shove a Q-Tip up your butt.’ We’ll be done with corona in, like, two weeks.” — TREVOR NOAH

“They’re saying that the science shows that these swabs are more accurate than other forms of swab. The only trick is finding the right position to hang your butt out the window of your car.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“And for even more accuracy, they do a nasal swab and an anal swab until they touch in the middle.” — JIMMY FALLON

“We wanted to test people that way here at Television City, but CBS pooh-poohed it.” — JAMES CORDEN

The Bits Worth Watching

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” celebrated the 50th birthday of Guillermo, Kimmel’s beloved parking lot security guard turned onscreen sidekick.

What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night

Terry Gross, the host of NPR’s “Fresh Air,” will appear on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”

Also, Check This Out

The late Cloris Leachman will be remembered for a lengthy film and TV career, from “The Last Picture Show” to “Malcolm in the Middle.”