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Best of Late Night
Trevor Noah: Andrew Cuomo Is ‘the Only Person Who Wishes It Was Still 2020’
“At some point we’re going to find out the Statue of Liberty only holds that torch so she can fend him off,” Noah said Monday of sexual misconduct allegations against the New York governor.
- March 16, 2021Updated 3:14 a.m. ET
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Cuomo’s Cancellation
Several lawmakers publicly asked Gov. Andrew Cuomo, Democrat of New York, to resign after six women accused him of sexual misconduct. On Monday night’s “Daily Show,” Trevor Noah referred to Cuomo as “the only person who wishes it was still 2020.”
“Bullying and groping women, a ‘Mad Men’ office culture and pushing women to wear dresses and heels? I mean it sounds like Cuomo basically thought of himself like a bouncer outside a nightclub, which is convenient for him, because that might be his job in a couple of months.” — TREVOR NOAH
“And practically every day now there are more and more accusations piling up. It’s getting so bad that he’s going to have to bring back his PowerPoint slides just to track the harassment claims.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I mean just in the past couple of weeks we’ve heard about him harassing staffers, journalists, wedding guests — it seems like no women in New York were safe from this guy. At some point we’re going to find out the Statue of Liberty only holds that torch so she can fend him off.” — TREVOR NOAH
“First of all, you know you’re in a bad spot when even Chuck Schumer calls on you to resign. That dude doesn’t do anything hastily. Before he makes any decision, he has to have at least four brow furrows and inch his glasses down to the tip of his nose.” — SETH MEYERS
“Second, so many Democrats have called on Cuomo to resign that at this point it’s easier to ask who hasn’t done so: ‘Good news, Governor, the Oswego County Commissioner for Water and Sewer Services is standing by us. Wait, nope, sorry, he said you should resign. Somebody call the Schenectady Parks Department — they’ll never turn on us!’” — SETH MEYERS
“A.O.C. wants him to resign, Schumer wants him to resign, his brother renamed his CNN show from ‘Cuomo Primetime’ to ‘It’s Just Chris, OK? It’s Just Chris.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“All right, first of all, can we now agree the term ‘cancel culture’ is officially meaningless? He’s using the same line as the people who spent the last three weeks getting mad about the Muppets, Mr. Potato Head, and Looney Tunes.” — SETH MEYERS
“But yes, Andrew Cuomo thinks that holding him to account for his actions is cancel culture, which is obviously making people pretty angry — especially nursing home residents. They’re like ‘[Expletive], you canceled Gladys!’” — TREVOR NOAH
“And I have to be honest, if this is cancel culture, well then I have no idea what cancel culture means any more. I guess it’s about letting Dr. Seuss’s books be racist but also not letting politicians get away with sexual harassment. Cancel culture feels a lot like watching ‘WandaVision.’ Every time I think I get what it’s about, the next scene is like ‘Now it’s about a purple witch who is only pretend possessed?’” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Oscar Nominations Edition)
“Earlier this morning, the nominations were announced for the 93rd Academy Awards. This year’s Oscars air on April 25, two months later than usual, because if anything’s good for ratings, it’s a four-hour award show about online movies that came out a year ago.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The Netflix film ‘Mank’ led the way with 10 nominations. That’s basically one nomination for every time you paused ‘Mank’ to check Instagram on your phone.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The most nominated film with 10 nods was ‘Mank,’ which is the true story of how Herman J. Mankiewicz wrote the screenplay for ‘Citizen Kane.’ That’s right, it’s a movie about another movie. Because there’s nothing Hollywood loves more than itself.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But here’s some good news: This year’s Oscar nominees are the most diverse ever. Meanwhile, Golden Globes voters were like, ‘A lot of our best friends are diverse.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“This year’s nominees are the most diverse, as opposed to the usual Oscar nominees, which look like the crowd at a Steely Dan concert inside a Pinkberry.” — JIMMY FALLON
“The Academy also announced that the ceremony will take place partially from Union Station this year in Los Angeles, which is where all the trains converge. That’s exciting. This means this year Gary Oldman might accept an Oscar on a caboose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Correspondent Jaboukie Young-White looked into some popular misconceptions about the Covid-19 vaccine for Monday’s “The Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Michelle Obama will talk about her new Netflix series, “Waffles + Mochi,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
This year’s Oscar nods include a history-making turn for Chloé Zhao, the first Chinese woman and first woman of color to be nominated for Best Director.
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Source: Television - nytimes.com