“If you want to get back at China, you have Marjorie Taylor Greene in the stands,” Noah said of the U.S. diplomatic boycott of the Olympics.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Icy Diplomatic Relations
President Biden on Monday announced that the U.S. would not be sending diplomats to the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing, citing China’s human rights abuses.
Trevor Noah said that American diplomats would have to watch the Winter Games like the rest of us, “by turning on the TV and then getting bored after three minutes and then turning it off.”
“He’s not about to fly across 12 time zones to watch a bunch of Norwegians sweep an ice rink.” — TREVOR NOAH, on Joe Biden
“And that’s a real shame that the Americans officials won’t be at the Olympics, because you realize Kamala Harris was about to become the first Black woman to ever watch a hockey game.” — TREVOR NOAH
“That’s the one cool reason to be president, right? Most of us, if we don’t want to do something, we have to come up with some lame excuse, and then everyone else shows up and talks about how he didn’t come. But if you are president, you can just be like, ‘Diplomatic boycott: No one is allowed to attend Emily’s birthday brunch.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“If you want to get back at China, you have Marjorie Taylor Greene in the stands.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Nothing will convince China to change their ways like not sending the secretary of agriculture to the Olympics.” — JIMMY FALLON
“When the news broke, everyone’s mom was like, ‘The oiled-up flag bearer from Tonga will still be there, right?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“It’s different from our last Olympic diplomatic boycott, which was just Mike Pence refusing to watch men’s doubles luge.” — JIMMY FALLON
Talk About Man-Spreading
Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers weighed in on news that Donald Trump came into contact with at least 500 people after testing positive for the coronavirus.
“He’s like the Johnny Appleseed of Covid,” Meyers joked.
“So, it turns out that Trump tested positive for Covid before a presidential debate with Joe Biden and kept it a secret. Although, in retrospect, I feel like maybe we should’ve known from that debate that he had something, based on his performance. It was either Covid or rabies.” — SETH MEYERS
“That’s right — he could have knowingly infected hundreds of people with a deadly virus himself. You know, when you’re a star, they let you do it — you can do anything.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump took no precautions after testing positive. He didn’t cancel events; he was maskless inside the White House and on Air Force One. It’s almost like, you know, if you didn’t know him better, it’s almost like he doesn’t care about others.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Variations on a Theme Edition)
“Everybody’s talking about it, but nobody really knows what the story is really about, because it’s all Omicron — Omicron this and Omicron that. But we don’t really understand if it’s going to change anything. We don’t ‘knowmicron’ about Omicron.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“So far, Omicron appears to be milder and more infectious than Delta, and that may be happening because, according to a new study, ‘It shares genetic code with the common cold.’ This pandemic has gone on so long, we’re officially in the remix stage. The next variant’s going to be Covid, featuring shingles, the Skrillex mix.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Well, here’s some good news. Dr. Fauci said that the first data on the severity of the Omicron variant is ‘encouraging.’ Yeah, that’s what passes for good news in 2021.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Dr. Fauci says that while it’s still too early to know for sure, it looks like Omicron spreads more easily than Delta but may be less severe, yeah — which means Covid might have watered itself down so it could reach more people — like the Ice Cube of corona variants.” — TREVOR NOAH
“The new deadly virus variant is only worrisome. People were like, ‘This calls for a tepid uncertain celebration.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yep, it’s encouraging, which is positive enough to continue with your holiday plans, but vague enough to make you spend the entire time freaking out.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Tig Notaro talked about going back on the road for her “Hello Again” tour while on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon will talk about their new “Sex and the City” reboot on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Alana Haim is as surprised as anyone that she’s getting rave reviews for her acting debut in “Licorice Pizza.”
Source: Television - nytimes.com
