“Yep, at 83, Breyer only has two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,” Jimmy Fallon said.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Bye Bye, Breyer
The big news on Wednesday was Justice Stephen Breyer’s plan to retire from the Supreme Court.
“Yep, at 83, Breyer only has two options: either retire or play quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,” Jimmy Fallon said.
“Unfortunately for Breyer, this is the only job in which you wear less robes after you retire. I hope he knows that.” — JAMES CORDEN
“This is big, y’all. Justice Breyer is retiring. Yeah, probably to focus more on his ice cream brand.” — TREVOR NOAH
“He says he’s ‘retiring.’ I think we know what’s really going on: He’s pregnant.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Yep, Breyer said he wants to retire so he can spend more time looking like a wise shopkeeper from a Hallmark Christmas movie.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, it was clear Breyer has been thinking about this. During the last case, the only question he asked was, ‘When’s nap time?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“This comes after a yearlong, high-pressure campaign to get Breyer to step down while Democrats still have control of the Senate, which included a billboard truck that drove around Washington, D.C., that said ‘Breyer, retire.’ Youchers, that has got to sting. That’s like if I walked up to the Ed Sullivan Theater and the building said, ‘Quit.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (The Replacements Edition)
“Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer is reportedly planning to retire at the end of the current term, which would allow President Biden to appoint a successor. Said Mitch McConnell, ‘With only three years left in his term? I don’t think so.” — SETH MEYERS
“So Democrats have been relentlessly pestering Breyer to step down so that they can replace him before Mitch McConnell comes back into power and makes a rule that all Supreme Court justices have to have been platinum QAnon members in the past.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Don’t be shocked when Mitch still makes it happen. He’s just going to come out like, ‘It is a longstanding Senate tradition that we cannot confirm a Supreme Court justice in a year where there is a new season of ‘Ozark’ on Netflix.’” — TREVOR NOAH
“Although this does pave the way for President Biden to choose his replacement, to which Merrick Garland said, ‘Hahahahaha.’” — JAMES CORDEN
“Joe Biden should nominate Anita Hill to be on the Supreme Court. Now how good would that be?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Late Show” writer Eliana Kwartler explained hot new fashion trends like “jellyfishing” and “indie sleaze” to her boss, Stephen Colbert.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
The “Afterparty” star Ilana Glazer will pop by Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
The new show “Black No More” is inspired by a 1931 novel about race relations during the Harlem Renaissance.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
