Stephen Colbert urged viewers to keep an open mind about the pick, “because that’s how the worm gets in.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Take Your Vitamins
On Thursday, President-elect Donald J. Trump said he would nominate Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a vaccine skeptic known for some strange encounters with animals, to be his secretary of health and human services.
Stephen Colbert advised his booing audience to keep an open mind, “because that’s how the worm gets in.”
“So, R.F.K. Jr. is now in charge of our health, exactly what everyone voted for. Surely, this will lower the price of eggs.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“And who better to be in charge of health and humans than a guy whose brain was partially devoured by a worm?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Unpasteurized whale juice for everybody!” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Wow, this is exciting news. We are making things in America again, specifically, Patient Zeros.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“If you’ve been feeling under the weather since the election, don’t worry — pretty soon, everyone else will be sick, too.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“Trump originally wanted a doctor in that role. Turns out the late, great Hannibal Lecter isn’t a real person, so.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“There are many theories as to why Trump is naming a battalion of bozos to do these very important jobs. Some believe he’s testing the Republican Congress to see how far he can push them. Some say he’s doing this strategically to weaken certain sections of the government. Or, and this is the theory that I believe, he’s dumb.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Yesterday’s Bad News Continued Edition)
“President-elect Trump announced yesterday on Truth Social that he is picking Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz to be his attorney general. Even crazier: Gaetz’s girlfriend just got Class President.” — SETH MEYERS
“When asked about President-elect Trump selecting Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz as his nominee for attorney general, Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski said it was not on her ‘bingo card.’ As for what’s on Matt Gaetz’s bingo card: B-17.” — SETH MEYERS
“OK, senator, that is your first mistake right there. Now that Trump’s been re-elected, we all get new bingo cards with none of those boring numbers like B-14 and N-7. Mine has, let’s see, ‘Trump/Putin, matching tracksuits,’ ‘Chief Justice Kid Rock’ and ‘Deport Ricky Martin.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“For everyone who didn’t have that on your bingo card, maybe throw out the bingo card, ’cause it’s a whole new bingo now. Instead of numbers, it’s just going to be symbols from the Zodiac killer.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon presented Michael Bublé with his new album, “Holiday Seasoning,” as an early Christmas gift on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
A new Broadway musical about Tammy Faye fails to capture her campy persona.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
