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    Jimmy Kimmel Chides Fox News for Not Covering Its Lawsuit Settlement

    Kimmel joked the lack of coverage had to be an oversight: “Man, oh, man, is Rupert Murdoch going to be mad when he finds out about this!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Willful IgnoranceFox News and Dominion’s settlement continued to dominate the news cycle on Wednesday — everywhere except on Fox News.Jimmy Kimmel joked the omission was surely an “oversight,” saying he was curious “how Fox News was going to cover the story about themselves” and was unable to find anything about it on their home page.“Nothing about the huge payment for lying to their viewers.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Man, oh, man, is Rupert Murdoch going to be mad when he finds out about this!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This massive settlement was the number one story on every single cable news network except one. Take a guess.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Dominion also has a defamation case against Rudy Giuliani, also for $1.3 billion. That’s a lot, man. They are suing Rudy for everything he’s got, which at this point, I believe, is a stolen CVS shopping cart full of empty merlot bottles and a jar full of spare teeth.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Look, I’m happy for Dominion, but Dominion was not the only injured party here. What about, you know, our faith in democracy? There are people who will not trust elections for the rest of their lives, and I have to talk to those people! I’m going to be arguing with them at Trump rallies every four years for the rest of my life. And you know what? I’m not naïve. I didn’t expect this lawsuit to restore this country’s faith in elections or even for me to get a little cashola, no. But I was at least hoping to get a couple of weeks of joy out of seeing Sean Hannity up there on the stand, sweating through his shirt like a beached manatee. Would that have saved democracy? I don’t know. But it would have been nice to see.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Punchiest Punchlines (Lie-ability Edition)“This is a huge hit to Fox’s bottom line, although it’s not clear if insurance will cover some of Fox’s liability. Of course, Fox has to have liability insurance to insure their ability to lie.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Although, I don’t know who would insure them. Maybe Frauders: [singing] ‘We are Frauders, insuring Fox was dumb, dumb, dumb!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Two hours after the settlement was announced he can’t confirm how much Fox News paid? If only this Fox News anchor had some source at Fox News!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Fox News host Howie Kurtz saying he couldn’t confirm the settlement amountThe Bits Worth WatchingMichelle Obama surprised patrons of a Midtown bookstore with Jimmy Fallon’s help on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightIndie rock trio boygenius will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutFrank Ocean performing at The Parklife Festival in 2017. Ocean has backed out of his second Coachella performance this weekend.Visionhaus#GP/Corbis via Getty ImagesFrank Ocean pulled out of Coachella this weekend, citing a leg injury that led to a disappointing headlining performance last Sunday. More

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    Stephen Colbert Rues the Fox Settlement

    “I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” Colbert said of Fox News settling the defamation suit brought by Dominion Voting Systems.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trial and ErrorDominion Voting Systems settled its defamation lawsuit against Fox News on Tuesday, with the conservative news network agreeing to pay $787.5 million to avoid a trial.“I want my trial!” Stephen Colbert bemoaned on Tuesday.“I want it! You were supposed to provide me six weeks of delicious content! I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I guess it’s satisfying for Dominion that Rupey had to fork over a pile of cash, but that does nothing for our democracy. What we need is Fox News personalities to look straight into the camera, admit that they lied over and over again about the 2020 election, and then hurl themselves into Mount Doom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I am glad that there is some accountability here. But still, I am pretty disappointed we are not going to get a trial, because all the Fox anchors would have been forced to testify. It would have been like the ‘Seinfeld’ finale, but instead of — instead of soup Nazis, it’s just Nazis.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Since Fox is going to have to pay nearly a billion dollars, they’ll need to implement cost-cutting measures. Sadly, they have to fire Brian Kilmeade’s reading tutor, Jeanine Pirro has to switch to the cheap box of wine, development on a third Doocy has been halted. They’re going to have to switch from Jesse Watters to tap waters. And of course, they’re going to have to put down Sean Hannity.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Settling Up Edition)“You could tell Fox was stressed about the trial ‘cause they spent the day chugging Bud Light.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off.” — JIMMY KIMMEL on the settlement“Immediately after the settlement, Fox issued a statement that said, ‘This settlement reflects Fox’s commitment to the highest journalistic standards.’ They’re already lying in their statement about lying.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a fitting lesson for the world from the American justice system. Yes, it is — there’s a price to pay for lying to the American people, and if you can afford that price, go for it!” — JAMES CORDEN“Fox News has to pay Dominion nearly $800 million. It’s so much money, they’ve already started selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper took “Daily Show” cameras inside the world’s largest gun show.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMichelle Obama will appear on “The Tonight Show” on Wednesday.Also, Check This Out“I wanted to be considered for a range of roles,” Chita Rivera writes in her new memoir, “and for the most part I succeeded.” Daniel Dorsa for The New York TimesThe 90-year-old singer-dancer Chita Rivera reflects on her life and career in “Chita: A Memoir.” More

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    Late Night Skewers Clarence Thomas for Not Disclosing Gifts

    “The Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas has “taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Best of FriendsJustice Clarence Thomas is under fire for unreported gifts, trips and other financial transactions with the conservative donor Harlan Crow.On Monday, the “Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas is “the Supreme Court justice who’s taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”“Last week, we learned that Thomas had secretly accepted luxury trips from right-wing billionaire Harlan Crow. And that’s his actual name, not his ‘Game of Thrones’ cosplay character.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Crow is an arch-conservative who’s known for his assorted Nazi memorabilia and garden full of statues of the 20th century’s worst despots. It’s so impressive that they put him on the cover of ‘Hitler Homes and Goebbels.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“On top of that, Clarence Thomas’s mom is still living in that house rent-free, and Harlan Crow is paying for thousands of dollars of renovations. All of which Clarence Thomas should have disclosed by law — although, in his defense, the law is complicated, and he is only a Supreme Court justice.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Justice Thomas claims that he did not have to report all these gifts because he and Crow are such close buds. But this must be one hell of a friendship because on Thursday we learned that, back in 2014, Harlan Crow bought property from Clarence Thomas, including the house where Thomas’s elderly mother was living. That might give him a little influence.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Crow claims there’s nothing corrupt about this, saying, ‘My intention is to one day create a public museum at the Thomas home.’ Just a reminder, Harlan Crow has Hitler’s napkins and a statue of Stalin in his garden. So building you a museum? Not a huge compliment.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Love is Blind Edition)“Netflix is apologizing after last night’s ‘Love is Blind’ live reunion was delayed due to technical issues. Yeah, even though they couldn’t see the reunion, ‘Love is Blind’ fans still managed to fall in love with it anyway.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingFreddie Highmore, a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” shared horror stories from previous talk show experiences (though he would not name names).What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightFresh from her Coachella performance, the rapper Glorilla will perform Tuesday on Jimmy Kimmel.Also, Check This OutJessica Hecht, left, said she and her “Summer, 1976” castmate, Laura Linney, right, share a “clarity of purpose.” She added: “I’m interested in plays that talk about intimacy.”Thea Traff for The New York TimesLaura Linney and Jessica Hecht play intensely intimate friends in David Auburn’s new play, “Summer, 1976.” More