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      Jimmy Kimmel Updates the Never-Ending Story of the Signal Leak

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      “There are many books and stories to come,” Kimmel said of the Trump administration’s leaky-group-chat scandal, comparing it to the Harry Potter saga.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Incredibly TransparentThe Trump administration’s high-level Signal group chat to which a journalist was somehow invited continued to dominate late night on Thursday.Jimmy Kimmel called the scandal “the never-ending story” and compared it to the Harry Potter saga, saying, “There are many books and stories to come.” News outlets found some of the key players’ personal information online, including the Venmo contacts of Michael Waltz, the national security adviser.“You know how some people feel the need to share their Venmo transactions with everyone they know? Michael Waltz is one of them. He shares his name, there’s a picture of him, and all of his contacts up on Venmo. Even Matt Gaetz was, like, ‘How could you be so careless?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And security issues aside, isn’t it a little bit disturbing that a guy overseeing our national defense, our weapons — our nuclear weapons — is still in the ‘Dude, you owe me $14 for tacos’ phase of his life?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s Venmo-ing his doctor? My man, if your doctor takes Venmo, that ain’t a doctor.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This story won’t be going away anytime soon, because Mike Waltz has made a key strategic error: being an idiot everywhere at all times.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Because of how incredibly sloppy they are, a German newspaper, Der Spiegel, was able to find personal email addresses, phone numbers and passwords — some of which seem to be still in use — for Mike Waltz, Tulsi Gabbard and Pete Hegseth. What a group. We have a national security adviser who doesn’t know how to secure, a defensive secretary of defense, a pro-measles secretary of health, and a secretary of education who wants to close the Department of Education.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt, she’s standing firm. She said today the administration has been ‘incredibly transparent about this entire situation.’ Yeah, that’s the problem — they’ve been so transparent, we’ve seen all their information.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Pete Hegseth and Mike Waltz have said and done so many stupid things this week, Trump might have to start calling them Eric and Don Jr.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (McRib Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Can’t Quit the Group Chat

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      “This operation was about as secretive as a Fortnite Twitch stream,” Jimmy Kimmel said of U.S. officials’ leaked discussion of a plan to attack Yemen.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.War Plans or Nah?On Wednesday, The Atlantic published more material from the Signal group chat in which Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and other officials discussed an imminent attack on Yemen, unaware that The Atlantic’s editor had been added to the group.Jimmy Kimmel called it the “‘Oops, who did I add to this text chain?’ heard ’round the world.” President Trump and others in his administration have denied that the details shared in the chat amounted to “war plans.” “Let’s see. ‘F-18’s launch.’ ‘Target terrorist.’ ‘Strike drones launch.’ ‘More F-18s launch!’ ‘First bombs will definitely drop.’ ‘First sea-based Tomahawks launched.’ Now, I’m not an expert on war — these don’t seem like peace plans to me.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This operation was about as secretive as a Fortnite Twitch stream, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Who could have ever guessed that the host of ‘Weekend Fox and Friends’ would be bad at running the military?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I mean, imagine how lifelong military professionals must feel. If this was the ’90s, this would be like suddenly having to take orders from Kathie Lee.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Thank God we got rid of D.E.I. Now you can rest assured that the idiots in charge were not chosen for their race or gender. They were chosen purely based on being idiots.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Declassified Edition)“This is an unprecedented failure of national security protocols and a grotesque disregard of the safety of American service members. Or, as Donald Trump would say: ‘No it isn’t.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One defense official said, ‘It is safe to say that anybody in uniform would be court-martialed for this. My most junior analysts know not to do this.’ Yes, everyone understands this. The characters in ‘Fight Club’ understand this. It’s why the first rule of ‘Fight Club’ is ‘Don’t send out an e-vite for Fight Club.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Is Still Reeling Over the Government’s ‘War by Emoji’

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      “Signal might be a good app for you and me and our local drug dealer, but it’s not for the Pentagon to plan wars on,” Ronny Chieng said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Snapchat’s NextThe late-night buzz on Tuesday was still about the Signal chat group in which Trump administration officials discussed an imminent strike on Houthi militants in Yemen, unaware that one of them had mistakenly added the editor of The Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg, to the group.The “Daily Show” host Ronny Chieng said it was proof that not everything that goes wrong is President Trump’s fault — “he has a whole administration that can [expletive] up for him.”“Is anyone else kind of upset that we’re conducting war by emoji now?” — RONNY CHIENG“I know we shouldn’t enjoy the fact that we have a confederacy of dunces running this country, but I’ll be honest, I can’t help it — I’m enjoying it right now. This week, in the race between dumb and evil, dumb’s in the lead.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“At first, Goldberg was concerned that it might be a hoax. But he got a hint it might be real when he was added to a text chain called ‘Houthi PC small group.’ Turns out it was real and that ‘Houthi’ is short for ‘Houthis idiots running our government?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And they should’ve known someone from The Atlantic was there, because after 10 messages, Goldberg chimed in to say: ‘You’ve reached your free article limit. Please log in to continue.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And by the way, it wasn’t even Pete Hegseth who added him, it was some other incompetent guy at the highest levels of government, OK? Like, what, you think Hegseth has the editor of The Atlantic magazine saved in his phone? No way, all right? If Hegseth auto-filled a contact into a group chat, it would be like, ‘Tampa Bay Blonde With Bugs Bunny Tattoo.’” — RONNY CHIENG“Apparently, the reporter was mistakenly added to the group chat by Trump’s national security adviser. This adviser can’t catch a break. Today, he sat down and butt-dialed the nuclear codes to North Korea.” — JIMMY FALLON“And even if they didn’t accidentally add a journalist into this group chat, they weren’t supposed to be talking about this stuff on Signal in the first place, OK? Signal might be a good app for you and me and our local drug dealer, but it’s not for the Pentagon to plan wars on.” — RONNY CHIENG“Today Trump said it’ll never happen again, and from now on they’ll only talk about war plans over Snapchat.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Meat Loaf Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jon Stewart Thinks He May Be in the ‘Bomb Yemen’ Chat Group

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      The “Daily Show” host suspects that he, too, might have been invited to a discussion of secret war plans by a bumbling official in the Trump administration.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Invite OnlyTop officials in the Trump administration discussed secret plans to bomb Yemen on Signal, unaware that one of them had mistakenly added a journalist to the chat group.On Monday’s “Daily Show,” Jon Stewart applauded the administration for “once again carrying out its plans with competence and professionalism.”“You know, back in my day, if you were a journalist who wanted leaked war documents, you had to work the sources: meet them in a dark garage, earn their trust, pound the pavement. Now? You just wait for the national security adviser to be distracted by ‘White Lotus’ while he’s setting up his ‘Bomb Yemen’ group chat.” — JON STEWART“By the way, I might be in this group chat, I don’t know. I don’t check my group chats.” — JON STEWART“This is not helping Pete Hegseth’s reputation as a guy who is always drunk. I mean, this is a drunk guy mistake. This is the national security equivalent of airdropping a [expletive] pic to everyone in the office.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON“I thought top-secret war meetings were held in a vault on top of a mountain. I didn’t know we were just droppin’ ’em in the chat. Turns out Hegseth was planning wars like a mom in a busy grocery store talking on speakerphone.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON“Worst of all, now that journalist knows they’re all hanging out at Buffalo Wild Wings tonight, and they can’t uninvite him or it would be so awkward.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON“He thought it was disinformation. Turned out it was just a bunch of fools, because the strikes started happening exactly as described in the texts. In other words, our national security is being guarded by a bunch of doofs you wouldn’t trust to throw your cousin a surprise party.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“No one on the chain thought to ask, ‘Who is JG? What are these initials?’ For all — they could have been leaking secrets to Jeff Goldblum, for all they know.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Skin-Colored Skin Edition)“Donald Trump truly is focused on the issues that matter most — to him, specifically.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yesterday, he posted — this is real — ‘Nobody likes a bad picture or painting of themselves, but the one in Colorado, in the State Capitol, put up by the governor, was purposefully distorted to a level that even I, perhaps, have never seen before.’ He doesn’t like this painting of him that they hung in the State Capitol building in Colorado. This is the portrait. I have to be honest: I agree with him on this one. It’s not a very good likeness. I mean, look how inaccurate the skin color is. His skin is the color of skin.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Takes Shots at Trump’s Liquor Tariff Threat

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      Jimmy Kimmel pointed to the irony of President Trump “making it very expensive to get drunk. He’s the reason we need to get drunk!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sobering ThoughtsOn Thursday, President Trump threatened to impose a 200 percent tariff on wine, champagne and spirits imported from Europe.Jimmy Kimmel pointed to the irony of Trump “making it very expensive to get drunk. He’s the reason we need to get drunk!”“Yeah, a 200 percent tariff on champagne and wine. Americans heard and were, like, ‘You can do whatever you want with wine; just don’t mess with our gummies.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s a lot — almost enough to make you feel bad for people who buy champagne and wine.” — JIMMY FALLON“People buying champagne and wine were, like, ‘What’s next, caviar and truffles?’” — JIMMY FALLON“The E.U. said, ‘Oh, yeah? We’re going to put a 50 percent tariff on boats, bourbon and motorbikes from the United States,’ which is interesting because boats, bourbon and motorbikes — they’re specifically targeting Kid Rock for some reason.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That is going to make it so much harder for European men to have a midlife crisis. You can’t outrun your mortality on a Vespa!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump’s playing a dangerous game. Nobody wants to attend a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and cheese party, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“So get ready to toast the next New Year’s with America’s finest sparkling beverage, Champagne Code Red.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Wheels Off Edition)“Tesla owners are facing backlash everywhere they go. Recently, somebody stole the wheels from every single Tesla in a Texas parking lot. Whoever did it, I do not condone this, but I do appreciate your ‘tire-less’ efforts.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, I want to be clear: I do not condone violence or vandalism of any kind. That is a deeply held belief of mine that comes from the bottom of my CBS legal department.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“With that in mind, I find it interesting that there’s a growing trend of Cybertrucks being vandalized and used as skate ramps or covered in garbage. To be fair, that might not be vandalism; that might just be a simple mistake, because they do look a lot like a dumpster.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Slams Trump’s Skills of Shill for Tesla

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      “But why should he, when he did a big commercial for them today, absolutely free?” Kimmel said after the president brought some of Elon Musk’s cars to the White House.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.No Such Thing as Bad Publicity?Tesla’s stock has been plunging, so much so that Jimmy Kimmel thinks Elon Musk “may have to fire himself.” But Musk got a boost from President Trump, who promised to buy a Tesla and had some brought to the White House on Tuesday.“The guy has spent the entire campaign screaming about how awful electric cars are, is now buying an electric car. Of course, there’s no chance he will actually pay for this electric car. But why should he, when he did a big commercial for them today, absolutely free?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I remember the time he saved Party City by buying a kazoo — it was heroic.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I would imagine they probably don’t even have a place to charge it at the White — maybe he’ll make little Marco run on a hamster wheel.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Watching Donald Trump check out a Tesla — it was like watching a monkey with an iPad.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He had them line up five Teslas on the White House driveway so Trump and Elon could shoot a car commercial on government property.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s finally turned into the used-car salesman we all knew he was all along.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Just the idea that we all now have to dig deep to help the richest man in the world who’s down to his last $324 billion sell cars is preposterous.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sorry Not Sorry Edition)“There’s a silver lining on the implosion of the world economy — it’s bad for Elon Musk, too.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Right now the economy is so bad, Elon Musk is thinking about laying off Donald Trump.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yesterday alone, Musk lost more than $16 billion. Wow! Wow! To put that in perspective, that’s more than some people make in a year.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Tesla stock has plummeted 50 percent since December, and there’s a good reason for that. It’s a phenomenon economists call ‘Everybody [expletive] hates that guy.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSting and Shaggy pulled from their most popular lyrics to sing about the economy on Tuesday’s “The Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “White Lotus” star Parker Posey will chat with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutIn “Long Bright River,” Amanda Seyfried plays a Philadelphia police officer who investigates the murders of vulnerable young women.David Holloway/PeacockAmanda Seyfried played against type with her new role as a Philadelphia beat cop in a new Peacock series, “Long Bright River.” More

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      Late Night Takes Stock of Trump’s Effect on the Markets

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      “In the first Trump term, it took a disease to destroy the economy,” Stephen Colbert said. “This time, he’s the disease.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Stocks Down, Measles Up’Wall Street had its worst day of 2025 on Monday, after President Trump declined to rule out the possibility that his tariffs might lead to a recession.Stephen Colbert said the clocks might have sprung forward on Sunday for daylight saving time, “but today, the stock market fall down go boom.”“The Dow Jones dropped 890 points. Now, I don’t know a lot of financial jargon, but let’s just say your 401 is not ’k,” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In the first Trump term, it took a disease to destroy the economy. This time, he’s the disease.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During a Fox News interview, President Trump declined to rule out the possibility that his economic policies could cause a recession. Trump was, like, ‘Depends if we use my economic policies from this morning or this afternoon.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s not great when the summary of your first two months in office is ‘Stocks down, measles up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“When asked by reporters yesterday aboard Air Force One about the possibility of a recession, President Trump said that his tariffs will make the U.S. ‘so rich, you’re not going to know where to spend all that money’ — unless, you know, you’re feeling like an omelet.” — SETH MEYERS“What do you want us to watch instead? [imitating Trump] ‘Maria, it’s a mistake to watch the stock market when you should be watching ‘Severance.’ What a show; it’s a great show.’” — SETH MEYERS, in response to Trump telling the Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that Americans shouldn’t watch the stock marketThe Punchiest Punchlines (Spring Forward Edition)“Well, guys, yesterday was daylight saving time, and we lost an hour of sleep. Democrats were, like, ‘An hour? We haven’t slept since November.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I tried something a little different this year. I set my clocks ahead four years. It didn’t work.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“We sprung forward. I might have pulled something. But considering the way things are going, I’ve never been more grateful to be one hour closer to the end of whatever this is.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We go forward, we go backward. It’s like living in a Christopher Nolan movie, and Matt Damon is in those — I want no part of it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingFormer Gov. Andrew Cuomo of New York was the subject of Saturday’s “Lie-Curious” segment on “Have I Got News For You.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe drag performer Trixie Mattel will appear on “After Midnight.”Also, Check This OutLady Gaga’s “Mayhem” is a bright, shiny and thoroughly sleek pop record.Arturo Holmes/Getty ImagesFor her new album, “Mayhem,” Lady Gaga mines her past for self-mythologizing nostalgia. More

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      Late Night Is Underwhelmed by Trump’s Address to Congress

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      Jimmy Kimmel noted that the president’s speech started late: “I guess they were waiting for that last coat of shellac to dry on his face.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The White POTUS’President Trump addressed a joint session of Congress on Tuesday night. Jimmy Kimmel called it “a very special episode of ‘The White POTUS.’”“His speech started late. I guess they were waiting for that last coat of shellac to dry on his face.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Members of the Trump family were there: Eric was there, Lara, Don Jr., Jared, Ivanka, even Melania showed up. So Democrats weren’t the only people who hate him there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Things got off to a big start when Trump and JD Vance held hands and sang a medley from ‘Wicked.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He laid out his MAGA-genda for the next four years. They include wildly unpopular tariffs, abandoning our allies, buddying up to Russia, tax cuts for the rich and turning Gaza into Atlantic City — all the reasons blue-collar America voted for this man.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump said our momentum is back, our spirit is back, our pride is back. And not the gay kind, either: the regular pride.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What he’s talking about, I have no idea. The stock market’s down, consumer confidence is down, the dollar is down. The only things that are high are egg prices and Elon Musk.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In the end, Trump’s first address to Congress was much like his first six weeks: filled with useful lies, and applauded by useless idiots.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He told our farmers to have a lot of fun and said the days of unelected bureaucrats are over, with Elon standing right there clapping like an imbecile. Yay for unelected bureaucrats.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And the days of rule by unelected billionaires have just begun. Elon! Take a bow, Elon! You paid for it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It was quite a night. There were about 400 people in attendance — 300 were members of Congress, and 100 were Elon’s kids.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, the night was pretty much a welcome back party for Trump, Republicans and measles.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bad Neighbor Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More