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      Late-Night Hosts Rib Rudy Giuliani Over New Election Night Reports

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      “It’s an age-old strategy: After a devastating loss, just say you won,” Stephen Colbert joked of Giuliani on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Liquid EncouragementNew reports about former President Donald Trump’s last year in office allege that Rudy Giuliani, his personal lawyer, engaged in some bad behavior on election night.“According to one new book, at the White House election night party, some people thought Rudy Giuliani may have been drinking too much. The other people were Rudy Giuliani,” Stephen Colbert joked on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”“That’s right, Rudy was in rough shape on election night. He was slurring, sweating, confused — then he started drinking.” — JIMMY FALLON“Reportedly, drunk Rudy asked, ‘What’s happening in Michigan?’ and they said it was too early to tell. ‘Just say we won,’ Giuliani told them, saying the same thing in Pennsylvania: ‘Just say we won Pennsylvania!’ God, Rudy must have been an annoying kid. You’re playing tag, you get him on the shoulder, but instead of just admitting it, he says ‘Nuh uh!’ at a press conference next to a dildo store.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, and if that didn’t work, Rudy’s other plan was for Trump to legally change his name to Joe Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON“Campaign officials shot the idea down, but after Fox News called Arizona for Biden on election night, Giuliani advised the former president, ‘Just go declare victory right now. You’ve got to go declare victory now.’ It’s an age-old strategy: After a devastating loss, just say you won.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Vaccination Frustration Edition)“The Biden administration has reportedly run out of ideas to encourage more people to get the coronavirus vaccine. Luckily, the virus is coming up with new ideas all the time.” — SETH MEYERS“I’m vaccinated. It’s Johnson & Johnson, though. Aw, my bad. Johnson & Johnson — I thought it was like a small Black business. I don’t know no white folks named Johnson.” — ARSENIO HALL, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“I saw that tomorrow, Olivia Rodrigo is going to the White House. She’s going to team up with President Biden and Dr. Fauci to make videos about getting vaccinated. When his staff suggested bringing in popular musical artists, Biden was like, ‘Great idea. How about Glenn Miller or the Andrews Sisters?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAmy Poehler joined Seth Meyers on “Late Night” for a new edition of “Really!?!” devoted to billionaires in space.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe comedian Phoebe Robinson is the guest host on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutMj Rodriguez, center, received an Emmy nomination for best lead actress in a drama for her work on the FX show “Pose.”Eric Liebowitz/FXThis year’s Emmy nominations include several firsts, including “Pose” star Mj Rodriguez as the first trans performer to be nominated in a leading acting category. More

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      Late Night Has Plenty of Virgin Jokes

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      Richard Branson’s spaceflight with his company Virgin Galactic was the talk of late night on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Taking Up SpaceLate-night hosts couldn’t resist poking fun at Richard Branson’s trek into space over the weekend with his company Virgin Galactic, the first in a series of planned trips by billionaire entrepreneurs.“You know these are crazy times when it’s safer flying to space than going on a Carnival Cruise, don’t you think?” Jimmy Fallon joked in his monologue on Monday.“That’s right, Virgin Galactic made history by launching the first goatee into space.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Branson went with two pilots and three of his employees. So if you think it’s awkward riding an elevator with your boss, try going to space.” — JIMMY FALLON“Actually, I got a little choked up watching Branson’s flight. It always warms my heart to see billionaires achieve their dreams.” — JIMMY FALLON“I was happy for him, though. Normally when a billionaire flies away faster than the speed of sound, it’s because they just got linked to Jeffrey Epstein.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Branson beat Jeff Bezos to space. That’s why Branson got home and found a little flaming Amazon package on his front porch.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Virgin Jokes Edition)“The Virgin flight took about an hour, which is the first time any virgin has ever done anything in an hour.” — ARSENIO HALL, guest host on “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“Branson’s trip to space only lasted about four minutes, which is honestly pretty good for a virgin.” — JIMMY FALLON“Now, technically — technically — Branson’s flight reached the edge of space, and the Virgin Galactic crew experienced only four minutes of weightlessness. He barely went in and lasted only a few minutes? Well, that is a virgin.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, the flight went more than 50 miles high to the edge of space. Southwest heard and was like, ‘Big deal. We did that last week when one of our pilots fell asleep.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Eighty kilometers? That’s not even worth mentioning at a party.” — SETH MEYERS“Just ’cause you touched net doesn’t mean you can say you dunked. Branson’s like one of those guys who say, ‘Yeah, I’ve been to Texas’ and then you find out he changed planes once at Dallas-Fort Worth.” — SETH MEYERS“Call me when you’ve reached the moon, Richard. Surprised he didn’t call me yesterday — he’s probably got cell service up there.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers’s “Closer Look” delved into some of the more notable moments from the Conservative Political Action Conference over the weekend.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightRichard Branson, just back from space, will check in with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutFrom left, Murray Bartlett, Jolene Purdy, Natasha Rothwell, Christie Volkmer and Lukas Gage in “The White Lotus.” The series focuses on the interactions between guests and staff members at a luxury resort.Mario Perez/HBOHBO’s new series “The White Lotus” is a perfectly timed satire of privilege from Mike White, the writer behind the short-lived but beloved show “Enlightened.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Adds a Dash of Comedy to Branson's Space Launch

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      In this billionaire space race, slipping the surly bonds of Earth apparently isn’t enough — not without some glitz and a bevy of celebrities.Richard Branson combined private spaceflight with show business on Sunday as he completed his highly-anticipated Virgin Galactic flight high above the New Mexico desert. He enlisted “The Late Show” host Stephen Colbert to introduce segments of a live streamed production, which was delayed around 90 minutes by the weather.Mr. Colbert played up a humorous rivalry he has cultivated with the entrepreneur on his talk shows over the years, and joked about some of Mr. Branson’s failed business ventures, like Virgin Cola.“Seriously, he lost money selling sugar water,” Mr. Colbert quipped. “All aboard.”Later in the production, the Grammy-winning artist Khalid gave a performance in front of a small crowd on an outdoor stage at Spaceport America, which featured the release of his new song, “New Normal.” The musician, appearing in a sequined jacket as machines sprayed mist on a stage, performed three songs.“Look how far we’ve came just as humanity,” he said during the live steam.Around two hours before lifting off, Mr. Branson shared a photo of himself with a shoeless Elon Musk, a billionaire rival in the private conquest of space.“Great to start the morning with a friend,” Mr. Branson said on Twitter.Even Mr. Branson’s arrival at Spaceport America wasn’t lacking for showmanship. Flanked by two white Range Rovers, the British mogul pedaled to the site at daybreak on a bicycle, a video posted by Mr. Branson showed. Once there, other members of the flight’s crew greeted him and joked that he was late.In England, where he was knighted by Prince Charles in 2000, the spotlight did not entirely belong to Mr. Branson, however. Mr. Branson’s space odyssey coincided with the men’s tennis final at Wimbledon on Sunday — historically billed for U.S. television audiences as “breakfast at Wimbledon.”The flight also came just hours before England was set to take on Italy in the soccer finals of Euro 2020, which has drawn the collective attention of many people in Britain. Some on social media suggested that Mr. Branson’s timing was less than ideal.The live stream production was not without its hiccups. The show’s hosts tried to interview Mr. Branson when the plane reached space, but the audio feed wasn’t working. After re-entry, many of his words were garbled as he tried to describe what it was like to visit space. More

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      Conan O’Brien Bids Farewell to Late Night

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      After 28 years on late-night television and 11 years on TBS, O’Brien is moving on to HBO Max.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.To Be ContinuedAfter 28 years on late night and 11 years on TBS, Conan O’Brien bade farewell on Thursday night, thanking the network, producers, writers, family and fans.“I’ve devoted all of my adult life — all of it — to pursuing this strange phantom intersection between smart and stupid. And there’s a lot of people who believe the two cannot coexist, but god, I will tell you, it is something that I believe religiously. I think when smart and stupid come together, it’s very difficult, but if you can make it happen, I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world,” O’Brien said.He ended on an optimistic note ahead of his move to HBO Max.“So my advice to people watching out there right now — it’s not easy to do. It’s not easy to do. It’s not easy to do, but try — try and do what you love with people you love. And if you can manage that, it’s the definition of heaven on earth. I swear to God, it really is,” O’Brien said.Homer Simpson made a special appearance to conduct the exit interview, harking back to O’Brien’s first job, writing for “The Simpsons.”On his show, Jimmy Kimmel congratulated O’Brien on his run, joking, “Anyway, here’s to Conan and Andy Richter, and congratulations to Jay Leno on his new time slot at TBS.”The Punchiest Punchlines (America’s Mayor Edition)“Speaking of New York, the state just suspended Rudy Giuliani from practicing law because of his repeated false and misleading statements about the election. Even Rudy was like, ‘What the hell took you so long?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani has been banned from practicing law in the state of New York. ‘I object,’ said people at his wedding.” — SETH MEYERS“You know you’ve crossed the line when other lawyers are, like, ‘This guy lies way too much.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, I’m just shocked to find out Rudy had a law license. I bet Rudy is, too: [imitating Giuliani] ‘I thought that was my Quiznos card — I’m one hole punch away from a free sub!’” — SETH MEYERS“This is a dramatic fall from grace. In the city he was famously the mayor of, Rudy Giuliani can no longer practice law. And if the last year has proven anything, it’s that when it comes to law, Rudy needs a lot of practice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“How is he gonna eat? And, more likely, drink? Well, if he needs cash, he could always sell the fracking rights to his skull.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s a mixed bag for Rudy. The bad news, he can’t practice law in New York; the good news, he can’t defend himself at his next trial.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Black-ish” and “Grown-ish” star Yara Shahidi sat down with Desus and Mero to talk about growing up in front of the camera and encountering fans who don’t know her real name.Also, Check This OutElla Fitzgerald performing on “The Ed Sullivan Show” in 1965. Her performance with Duke Ellington is one of hundreds now available on the show’s official YouTube channel.CBS, via YouTube“The Ed Sullivan Show” went off the air 50 years ago, but some of its best episodes can be found on YouTube. More

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      Late Night Reams Republicans for Blocking the For the People Act

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      “The Republicans instead supported the ‘For Some of the People — We Can’t Say It Out Loud, but You Know Which Ones We Mean — Act,’” Stephen Colbert said of the voting rights bill.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Who’s the Fairest of Them AllRepublicans blocked a far-reaching voting rights bill, known as the For the People Act, in the Senate on Tuesday.“The Republicans instead supported the ‘For Some of the People — We Can’t Say It Out Loud, but You Know Which Ones We Mean — Act,’” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday night.“The Senate voted yesterday to block the For the People voting rights bill, but not until they got their voting paperwork in order. Let’s see, I got my license, passport, tax returns, high school yearbook. OK, I think I’m ready for my riddle.” — SETH MEYERS“Senate Republicans haven’t been this happy since Kenny G started touring again.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Democrats wanted things like automatic voter registration and Election Day to be a national holiday, while Republicans wanted every polling place to be at a yacht club.” — JIMMY FALLON“Republican Senator Mike Lee said in an interview yesterday with Fox News host Sean Hannity that the For the People voting rights act was, quote, ‘written in hell by the devil himself,’ which is also what it says on the poster for ‘F9.’” — SETH MEYERS“Yes, the Senate’s founding purpose: to do nothing. It’s right there in Article I: ‘All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate, where one wizened, ancient turtle man, with no regard for anything but the self-preservation of his own power, shall, with his pockets stuffed with greasy bags full of money, strangle the hope of all who dare to dream of true democracy, and recognize April as National Jazz Month.’”— STEPHEN COLBERT, on Senator Mitch McConnell’s saying the Senate was fulfilling its “founding purpose”The Punchiest Punchlines (Dad, You’re Embarrassing Me Edition)“Speaking of the former president, his daughter and son-in-law don’t want to, because reports say that Ivanka and Jared Kushner have distanced themselves from the former president and his constant complaints. That complaint? [imitating Trump] ‘Why does he get to date my daughter? Doesn’t seem fair. We’re both family.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump has become so distant from Ivanka that he started to call her ‘Eric.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When he heard that one of his kids wanted distance, Trump was like, ‘Please be Eric, please be Eric!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Apparently the feeling is somewhat mutual, because insiders say there is jealousy from the former president about Kushner’s ‘seven-figure book deal.’ Early reports are that Jared’s book is going to be a lot like Jared: glossy and no spine.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Wednesday’s “Late Show,” the actress Christine Baranski joined Colbert in singing “Side by Side by Side” from Stephen Sondheim’s “Company.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJack Black will be the final guest on Conan O’Brien’s TBS talk show.Also, Check This OutEd McMahon seemed to define the job when he worked with Johnny Carson on “The Tonight Show.”NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal, via Getty ImagesFrom Ed McMahon to Andy Richter, late-night shows have a long history of sidekicks. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Trump Can’t Take a Joke

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      The former president denied reports that he tried to use his office to keep late-night shows from poking fun at him. “Not only that, he wanted Guillermo to pay for the wall,” Kimmel said on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Stephen Colbert Skewers Trump’s Covid Response

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      Colbert joked on Monday night about a forthcoming book on the former president’s pandemic plan: “The main detail: There wasn’t one.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Detour to GuantánamoA forthcoming book by two Washington Post journalists is said to provide new information about the Trump administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic.“The main detail: There wasn’t one,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday night.According to the book, early in the pandemic former President Donald J. Trump suggested sending Covid-infected American cruise ship passengers to the Guantánamo Bay naval base in Cuba to avoid adding to U.S. case numbers.“The president wanted to send cruise ship passengers to Gitmo, so enjoy your beach day with a complimentary head sack, then hit the bar for bottomless piña colada boarding.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And you know he said he wants to send them to ‘Geronimo Bay’ or something like that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course the reality star wanted to send them to an island. He probably sent a camera crew, too, and called it ‘Survirus’ or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This is another good McNugget for the book. Trump — they say he was very upset about Covid testing because he believed that positive tests would look bad and hurt his chances of re-election. He had a call with Alex Azar, who was his secretary of health and human services, and he demanded to know what ‘idiot’ decided to make the federal government do testing, and Alex Azar was like, ‘Uh, do you mean Jared?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL, referencing Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser“Imagine being in that administration and someone calling you ‘the idiot.’ That’s like being in the N.B.A. and your nickname is ‘the tall guy.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Half the Cheer Edition)“The Olympics are almost here, and today organizers announced that venues will be at 50 percent capacity. That’s right, 50 percent, which means only four people will be allowed to watch fencing instead of the normal eight.” — JIMMY FALLON“Tokyo residents will be allowed to go to the Games but will not be allowed to cheer and they have to go straight home after. Whoever came up with these rules should win the gold medal for buzzkill.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Can you imagine going to a live sporting event with no cheering allowed? It’s like a Detroit Lions game.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Also they said fans aren’t allowed to cheer. Although they say that at the beginning of every graduation, and parents are still like, ‘Thomas, yeah! Tommy, you did it. That’s my boy, Tommy!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingPaul Rudd crashed Bill Hader’s “Conan” interview on Monday night.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightWanda Sykes, star of the new Netflix sitcom “The Upshaws,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJack Robinson/Hulton Archive, via Getty ImagesJames Taylor, Brandi Carlile and other artists reflect upon Joni Mitchell’s album “Blue” on its 50th anniversary. More

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      Stephen Colbert Celebrates America’s New Holiday, Juneteenth

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      June 19 is “also known as Macklemore’s birthday, but haven’t Black Americans suffered enough?” Colbert joked on Thursday night.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.156 Years LaterStephen Colbert was among those celebrating as Juneteenth became a national holiday with President Biden’s signature on Thursday.“And long overdue,” Colbert said. “Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, the day the last group of enslaved people in America learned about the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation that had taken place two and a half years earlier. Then, it only took 156 more years until the idea finally reached Washington that maybe we should celebrate this.”“My understanding is that they’re giving it the full holiday treatment — a day off, community gatherings, and, one assumes, 50 percent off all Tempur-Pedic California Kings.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“June 19, known by many names. June 19, also known as Macklemore’s birthday, but haven’t Black Americans suffered enough?” — STEPHEN COLBERTColbert and Jimmy Fallon also pointed out that the 14 Republicans who voted against the bill in the House had something in common.“That looks like the white paint sample section at Home Depot: ‘What do you think, honey, should we paint the bathroom Mike Rogers or Thomas Massie?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Ah, yes, it’s the SPF 700 club.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Walled Off Edition)“There was a big announcement from Texas-governor-and-man-breathing-easier-thanks-to-Allegra Greg Abbott. Abbott says he’s going to solicit donations from the public to fund the construction of Texas’ border wall. Hear me out — it’s about time. Somebody’s got to keep those Texans out of the U.S. Do Florida next!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, Texas is building a wall, and New Mexico’s going to pay for it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Maybe the wall is to keep Ted Cruz from fleeing to Mexico the next time there’s an emergency.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“OK, so, one state can do its own foreign policy? It reminds me of that famous headline after Pearl Harbor: ‘Delaware Declares Dela-war.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Abbott was clear on wanting money and wanting wall, but the other details were pretty fuzzy. As one reporter put it, ‘He says Texans can donate their private land and money to the project, but he can’t say what the project will look like, how many miles will be built or where it will be built.’ So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” correspondent Jordan Klepper went inside a Wisconsin rally hosted by Mike Lindell (a.k.a. the My Pillow guy).Also, Check This OutRose Byrne stars in “Physical” as an ’80s woman who finds meaning in aerobics.Apple TV+Rose Byrne stars as a bitter woman who finds inspiration in aerobics on the new 1980s-based Apple TV+ series “Physical.” More