Desus & Mero (TV Program)

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      Late Night Savors What’s Left of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ Plan

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      Trevor Noah said the excision of family leave meant that “America will remain the only nation in the world where women try to give birth during their lunch break.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Built to ScaleLate-night hosts covered the latest in President Biden’s “Build Back Better” plan on Thursday, or what is left of it.“A lot of what was originally there is now gone,” Trevor Noah said. “Like free community college is out, and so is paid family and medical leave, which means America will remain the only nation in the world where women try to give birth during their lunch break.”“Oh, and Medicare won’t cover the cost of dental or vision care for seniors but it will cover hearing. Which makes sense. You know Biden made sure that that stayed in. When you got a president that whispers as much as he does, you’ve got to make sure people can at least hear him.” — TREVOR NOAH“But don’t worry, moms, you don’t have to go into work while you’re in labor — just Zoom in from the birthing room.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Biden met today with House Democrats to discuss his health care spending proposal in the infrastructure bill, which is now down to a 30-day trial for WebMD plus, and they’re going to paint some tunnels on a rock, like Wile E. Coyote.” — SETH MEYERS“The plan features subsidies for child care and universal preschool for more than six million 3- and 4-year-olds, to which parents everywhere replied, ‘But what about 2-year-olds who could pass for 3? Please — I can’t watch any more ‘Peppa Pig.’ My toddler has adopted an English accent, and won’t let me eat bacon.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s insane. Everyone deserves the right to be at home with their families and children. And besides, in my experience, the more time you spend with your kids, the more desperate you are to go back to work.” — SETH MEYERS“Free vision care for anyone with perfect 20/20 eyesight. A 1 percent tax hike on billionaires for each trip to outer space. Guaranteed child care for children ages 3 to 4, provided by children ages 5 to 6. For anyone who wants to attend community college, a free copy of ‘Community’ Season 1 on DVD. If anything falls off of a crumbling bridge or overpass and hits you, you get to keep it. For women who have just given birth, a big scoop of Turkey Hill’s Rocky Road ice cream. In lieu of paid leave, they added two more take-your-child-to-work days. Any 12 albums for just one penny. Student-loan forgiveness: You still have to pay it back, but we’ll forgive you for making the mistake of taking one out. Universal wealth care: one extra digit in each American’s Social Security number. Guaranteed pre-K for wacky adult children whose hotel-magnate fathers paid their way through elementary and high school but now would like to prove themselves as competent, functioning adults in order to take over the family business. You can use the bathroom if you asked nicely. Everyone is eligible to receive $1 million from a billionaire, in exchange for just one night with your wife. One free month of Tubi. They’ll throw a traffic cone next to the pothole on your street if you quit whining about it. And finally, a new houseboat for Joe Manchin.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Meta Edition)“Yeah, Facebook changed their name. In response, Spectrum was like, ‘We used to be Time Warner; people still hate us.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, ‘Meta,’ as in when I joined Facebook, I ‘Meta’ lot of crazy people.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, ‘Meta,’ as in your Aunt Gloria saying, ‘I Meta guy on Facebook who says the vaccine made his balls magnetic.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This feels like when there’s an E. coli outbreak at a pizza place and they just change the name from Sal and Tony’s to Tony and Sal’s. Same gross owners.” — JIMMY FALLON“Companies often change their name to help their image and since it’s up for grabs, Johnson & Johnson is now Facebook & Facebook.” — JIMMY FALLON“The company says, ‘The name Facebook is not going away, but from now on, we are going to be Metaverse first, not Facebook first.’ But don’t worry — the self esteem of teenage girls will always be last.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingDesus and Mero get to the bottom of why Black people love Dave Grohl, with guest Dave Grohl.Also, Check This OutAnya Taylor-Joy, left, and Thomasin McKenzie in “Last Night in Soho.”Parisa Taghizadeh/Focus FeaturesTwo young women from different eras form a psychic bond in Edgar Wright’s thriller “Last Night in Soho.” More

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      Trevor Noah Predicts Trump Will Post Dares on Truth Social

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      Noah did an impression of Trump posting on his new social media site: “OK, I shared my truth, now I dare you to hang Mike Pence.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Truth or DareDonald Trump’s new social media app, Truth Social, was the talk of late night on Thursday. Trevor Noah touched on the site’s terms of service requirements for the “truths” users can post.“And, also, you know what this means: If Trump is posting ‘truths,’ knowing him, eventually he’s going to start posting ‘dares.’ ‘OK, I shared my truth, now I dare you to hang Mike Pence,’” Noah joked while doing a Trump impression.“In a press release, Trump explained the need for his new social network: ‘We live in a world where the Taliban has a presence on Twitter, yet your favorite American president has been silenced.’ I don’t think Trump’s making the point that he thinks he is in that. All he’s telling us is that he’s more offensive than the Taliban.” — JAMES CORDEN“The site was briefly accessible to the public last night, and was immediately overrun by trolls, including one who started a fake account under the former president’s name that posted a photo of a pig defecating on its own scrotum. Are they sure that was a fake account? Because it feels on brand.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yo, this man is a legend. He creates a free speech website, and immediately was like, ‘OK, here’s what you can’t say.’ It’s like if the first rule of Fight Club was, ‘Hey, hey, hey, no fighting! No fighting! No fighting! We work [expletive] out here.” — TREVOR NOAH“At the same time, though, you know this is going to backfire, because half of the fun of being on social media is talking [expletive] about the platform.” — TREVOR NOAH“How is Trump of all people going to make a rule about disparaging comments? I mean, this man roasts people so much, he has to do it at auctioneer speed.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Truth and Consequences Edition)“The man who told over 30,000 lies in office has started something called Truth. He’s also launched a new makeup line called Human Skin.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s the perfect site for any person who ever wondered, ‘What if Twitter was only the bad parts?’” — JAMES CORDEN“The former president also announced that he is setting up his own streaming service. Well, his — his second streaming service.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to the press release, they’ll proudly broadcast ‘nonwoke entertainment programming.’ That’s right, nonwoke! If you can stay awake, your money back.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s going to feature the former president’s favorites like ‘Who Wants to Spank a Millionaire?” ‘The Unmasked Singer,” and ‘Only Fascists in the Building.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Thursday’s “Late Late Show,” James Corden explained how he was able to procure Celine Dion’s chewed gum as a gift for Adele.Also, Check This OutIllustrations by Ross MacDonaldClassic crime novels by the likes of Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, Dorothy Sayers, and Dashiell Hammett still hold up today. More

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      Seth Meyers Demands His Own Ben & Jerry’s Flavor

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      If Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon can be on ice cream containers, why not the “Late Night” host?Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Jimmy Fallon: Trump Wanted a General With Coup Appeal

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      “You can tell a leader really knows his stuff when he uses the phrase ‘do a coup,’” Fallon said of Trump, who belittled a general for fearing he might try to stay in power.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘I’d Coup You’In a new book about Donald Trump’s final year in office, the authors write that Gen. Mark A. Milley, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, feared Trump would attempt to stage a coup to remain in power after losing the election. Trump responded on Thursday: “If I was going to do a coup, one of the last people I would want to do it with is Gen. Mark Milley.”“You can tell a leader really knows his stuff when he uses the phrase, ‘do a coup,’” Jimmy Fallon joked on “The Tonight Show.”“For the next 15 minutes, he named all the people he would do a coup with: ‘I’d coup you. I’d coup you. You’re coup-able.’” — JIMMY FALLON“OK, you’ve clearly put some thought into this thing you’re ‘not into.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We really need to come up with a better early warning system than tell-all books. ‘We’re in danger — quick, get me a typewriter!’” — SETH MEYERS“In a new book, Milley reveals that following the election night, he thought the ex-president ‘was stoking unrest, possibly in hopes of an excuse to invoke the Insurrection Act and call out the military,’ saying, ‘This is a Reichstag moment.’ No surprise — the last president was very popular with the alt-Reich.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Of course, the Reichstag fire was in 1930s Germany, when an attack on the country’s legislative branch was used as a pretext to solidify fascist control. What the MAGA crowd did this year was totally different — because it was in English.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Olivia Rodrigo Edition)“During a visit to the White House yesterday, pop star Olivia Rodrigo made a surprise appearance at the afternoon press briefing to help promote youth vaccinations, which should have a big impact on the millions of teens who watch the White House press briefings.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, pop star Olivia Rodrigo made a surprise appearance at the afternoon press briefings. It was almost as surprising as when Sarah Sanders would appear at one.” — SETH MEYERS“Side note here — it’s nice to see a real celebrity at the White House after the last four years, when the previous president could only manage to dig up the likes of Ted Nugent or Scott Baio.” — SETH MEYERS“Biden’s got huge celebrities helping him out with an unprecedented nationwide campaign to get Americans vaccinated against a deadly disease, and all Trump could muster was 18 holes with Kid Rock and his flag pants, which look like something you buy for six bucks at a truck stop because you tore the [expletive] out of your good pants rock-climbing on peyote.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingBarry Jenkins, an Oscar-winning screenwriter and director, talked to Desus and Mero about telling stories of Black trauma onscreen.Also, Check This OutDavid Byrne, center, with Chris Giarmo, left, and Tendayi Kuumba in “American Utopia.”Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesBroadway is finally back, with new Covid safety protocols and productions in previews still working out the kinks. More

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      Conan O’Brien Bids Farewell to Late Night

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      After 28 years on late-night television and 11 years on TBS, O’Brien is moving on to HBO Max.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.To Be ContinuedAfter 28 years on late night and 11 years on TBS, Conan O’Brien bade farewell on Thursday night, thanking the network, producers, writers, family and fans.“I’ve devoted all of my adult life — all of it — to pursuing this strange phantom intersection between smart and stupid. And there’s a lot of people who believe the two cannot coexist, but god, I will tell you, it is something that I believe religiously. I think when smart and stupid come together, it’s very difficult, but if you can make it happen, I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world,” O’Brien said.He ended on an optimistic note ahead of his move to HBO Max.“So my advice to people watching out there right now — it’s not easy to do. It’s not easy to do. It’s not easy to do, but try — try and do what you love with people you love. And if you can manage that, it’s the definition of heaven on earth. I swear to God, it really is,” O’Brien said.Homer Simpson made a special appearance to conduct the exit interview, harking back to O’Brien’s first job, writing for “The Simpsons.”On his show, Jimmy Kimmel congratulated O’Brien on his run, joking, “Anyway, here’s to Conan and Andy Richter, and congratulations to Jay Leno on his new time slot at TBS.”The Punchiest Punchlines (America’s Mayor Edition)“Speaking of New York, the state just suspended Rudy Giuliani from practicing law because of his repeated false and misleading statements about the election. Even Rudy was like, ‘What the hell took you so long?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani has been banned from practicing law in the state of New York. ‘I object,’ said people at his wedding.” — SETH MEYERS“You know you’ve crossed the line when other lawyers are, like, ‘This guy lies way too much.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, I’m just shocked to find out Rudy had a law license. I bet Rudy is, too: [imitating Giuliani] ‘I thought that was my Quiznos card — I’m one hole punch away from a free sub!’” — SETH MEYERS“This is a dramatic fall from grace. In the city he was famously the mayor of, Rudy Giuliani can no longer practice law. And if the last year has proven anything, it’s that when it comes to law, Rudy needs a lot of practice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“How is he gonna eat? And, more likely, drink? Well, if he needs cash, he could always sell the fracking rights to his skull.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s a mixed bag for Rudy. The bad news, he can’t practice law in New York; the good news, he can’t defend himself at his next trial.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Black-ish” and “Grown-ish” star Yara Shahidi sat down with Desus and Mero to talk about growing up in front of the camera and encountering fans who don’t know her real name.Also, Check This OutElla Fitzgerald performing on “The Ed Sullivan Show” in 1965. Her performance with Duke Ellington is one of hundreds now available on the show’s official YouTube channel.CBS, via YouTube“The Ed Sullivan Show” went off the air 50 years ago, but some of its best episodes can be found on YouTube. More

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      Seth Meyers Doesn’t Want to Have to Support Liz Cheney

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      Meyers made a “M*A*S*H” reference about the Republican who denounces Donald Trump: “I feel like B.J. Hunnicutt speaking up in support of Charles Winchester.” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Late Night Celebrates Earth Day

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      “Earth Day started back in the ’70s with very lofty goals and has kind of turned into, ‘Guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Save the Rainforest (Cafes)Late-night hosts celebrated Earth Day on Thursday, with Jimmy Kimmel touching on the holiday’s origins.“Earth Day started back in the ’70s with very lofty goals and has kind of turned into, ‘Guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’” Jimmy Kimmel joked.“There are so many amazing things from Earth. I mean, we have oceans and mountains, and shaving cream, and pine cones and the iPhone. We’ve got monkeys; we’ve got chocolate-covered raisins. Ryan Gosling, we’ve got Ryan Reynolds. We’ve got the Aurora Borealis. Pens are good. ‘Property Brothers,’ Magic Johnson, tennis rackets, yoga pants, poodles, tacos, yarn, marshmallows and Mr. T. I mean, that is a diverse portfolio of things that we should be grateful for.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, Earth Day is like prom in that every year has a theme. This year’s is ‘Restore Our Earth.’ Yes, we have to, or pretty soon the theme’s going to be ‘Enchantment Under the Sea.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A lot of stores celebrated Earth Day. H&M added a section for sustainable items, Lowe’s offered a free garden-to-go kit, and Subway recycled last week’s tuna.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m kidding around, but protecting the Earth is serious. I mean, can you believe that in 1999, we had nearly 50 Rainforest Cafes, and now we’re down to almost 20?” — JIMMY FALLONClimate ChangesPresident Biden’s climate summit was a related hot topic, with late-night hosts touching on the president’s announcement that the United States will cut its carbon emissions in half by 2030.“Added Biden, ‘Of course that responsibility will ultimately fall to President the Rock.’” — SETH MEYERS“Other countries are cautiously optimistic now. They’re like, ‘OK, but last year, weren’t you the guys saying climate change isn’t real? Which America are we talking to?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The science is absolutely clear that it’s necessary to avoid a worldwide catastrophe. No one should be against this, so naturally, almost every Republican is against this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Climate change is getting harder to ignore. Last year, wildfires blazing in the Arctic Circle set new emissions records, the Atlantic hurricane season raged stronger than ever, and we reached the end of the hottest decade ever recorded. Most of that came in the last year due to the rise in ‘Bridgerton’ butt.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The tone of the summit was that we’re all responsible. But you know, Costa Rica was looking at the U.S. and China like: ‘Yeah, this is all our fault, right? Yeah. We’re all to blame.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Earth Day Edition)“Happy Earth Day! Everyone is in the spirit. This morning at 7-Eleven, I saw a rat drinking a Big Gulp with a metal straw.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today was Earth Day. ‘Ah, yes, the place I’m totally from,’ said Mark Zuckerberg.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, today was Earth Day even though I didn’t planet.” — SETH MEYERS“Today was the 51st Earth Day, although the Earth was like, ‘Let’s say — let’s just tell people I’m 35.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Humans celebrating Earth Day is like fleas celebrating Dog Day.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingDesus and Mero caught up with a friend of the show, Issa Rae, about her official new status as media mogul after Ms. Rae, the “Insecure” creator and star, signed an eight-figure deal with WarnerMedia.Also, Check This OutFans have gotten their wish: LeVar Burton is slated to guest-host “Jeopardy!” the last week of July.Etienne Laurent/EPA, via ShutterstockAfter fans campaigned online, LeVar Burton will guest-host “Jeopardy.” More

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      Matt Gaetz Is ‘Almost Too Florida,’ Says Stephen Colbert

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      Allegations of “Bahamas sex trafficking with a weed-peddling hand surgeon” make the congressman a nearly too-perfect representative of his state, Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Representing FloridaThe late-night hosts had plenty to say on Thursday about the accusations against Representative Matt Gaetz, Republican of Florida, as investigators examine a trip he took to the Bahamas with Jason Pirozzolo, a marijuana entrepreneur and hand surgeon.“Yes, marijuana entrepreneur and hand surgeon, which means he can cure your carpal tunnel and turn your thumb into a bong,” Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday’s “Late Show.”“By the way, if your hand surgeon is also a marijuana entrepreneur, probably a good idea to learn to write with your feet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I know Gaetz is from Florida, but ‘Bahamas sex trafficking with weed-peddling hand surgeon’ is almost too Florida, even for him.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So good luck, Matt Gaetz. Maybe he just loves Trump so much he wants to go to jail with him, is that possible?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gaetz is going to get screwed — and as usual, he’s going to have to pay for it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now might be a fun time to remind people of this tweet Matt Gaetz posted just before Michael Cohen testified in Congress about his former boss, Donald Trump: ‘Hey @michaelcohen212 do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she’ll remain faithful while you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot.’ Oh, karma, you old rascal, you.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pence’s Book Deal Edition)“The former vice poodle is putting Pence to paper. He signed a two-book deal with Simon & Schuster — I wonder if he knows they’re a gay couple.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“How does Mike Pence have enough material to write two books? I feel like I can summarize his entire life in two sentences. One, he was vice president. Two, a fly landed on his head.” — JAMES CORDEN“The first book is a pretty straightforward memoir, but I was surprised by the second one. It’s actually a steamy romance novel, called ‘Presidential Vices.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Of course the book will be written by a ghostwriter, Mike Pence.” — JIMMY FALLON“This will be the only time pages got whiter after words were printed on them.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But the book is a little different, though. There’s a blank white page in the middle with the caption ‘selfie.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, Pence is currently considering a lot of titles for his memoir. First there’s ‘Fifty Shades of White.’ There’s also ‘Lord of the Flies.’ Next there’s ‘Tuesdays with Moron.’ And finally, ‘Are you There, Mother? It’s Me, Your Husband.” — JIMMY FALLON“Pence’s publisher calls this ‘the definitive book on one of the most consequential presidencies in American history.’ Oh, it was consequential, all right.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The book will cover not just Pence’s time in the White House but his whole life, including traumatic family events like the time he saw Mother without her bonnet. He even opens up about the time in college he experimented with almond milk.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m sure there will be a lot of talk about religion, his hopes and dreams, and then maybe a chapter about how his boss tried to murder him.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingGlenn Close talked about spending her pandemic in Montana on Thursday night’s “Desus & Mero.”Also, Check This OutFrom left, Deborah Ayorinde, Melody Hurd, Shahadi Wright Joseph and Ashley Thomas in “Them,” a new horror series from Amazon. The malevolent force at work here is racism.Amazon StudiosA Black family is faced with the terror of American racism in Amazon’s new 10-part horror series “Them.” More