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      Seth Meyers Recaps Biden’s First Press Conference

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      The “Late Night” host says the president is at his best “when he’s got the vibe of an old-timer football coach giving his young squad an inspirational halftime speech.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Biden Meets the PressPresident Biden held his first official news conference on Thursday, taking questions about immigration, the filibuster and his new Covid-19 vaccination goal, which builds on the early success of the initial rollout.“So he set a goal, met it, then said set a second, more ambitious goal which has credibility, because he met his first goal — that’s a novel strategy. It’s certainly different from the Trump strategy of overpromising and underdelivering,” Seth Meyers said.“That kind of announcement is Biden at his best, when he’s got the vibe of an old-timer football coach giving his young squad an inspirational halftime speech: [Imitating Biden] ‘We can do it, folks. We can score 42 points in the second half. And look, I know most of you have broken bones because I forgot to teach you how to tackle, but that’s how we learn.’” — SETH MEYERS“President Biden gave his first official press conference today. He would have given one sooner, but he spent a full month deciding if he should call on reporters with a point, a finger gun or a wink, and he landed on all three.” — JAMES CORDEN“During his press conference, President Biden said he supports changing the rules of the filibuster to require senators to stand and speak, like it was when he was in the Senate, quote, ‘120 years ago.’ Now, obviously he misspoke — 120 years ago, he was still in college.” — SETH MEYERS“Wow. Comically speaking, it should be a less believable number of years.” — JAMES CORDEN“There were a lot of questions today about immigration after Biden announced that Vice President Harris will be overseeing the challenges at the U.S.-Mexico border. It’s similar to how Trump put Pence in charge of handling the pandemic. When the going get tough, presidents are like, ‘You got this, right?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Look, Folks Edition)“Well, guys, after 64 days in office today, President Biden held his very first press conference. Normally, when a 78-year-old answers an hour of questions, they’re getting a physical.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden held his first official news conference today and Democrats everywhere held the edge of their seats.” — SETH MEYERS“During his first press conference today, President Biden said, quote, ‘I got elected to solve problems.’ Um, OK, so what do you know about boats and canals then?” — SETH MEYERS“It was quite the event. If you did a shot every time Biden said, ‘Look, folks,’ you got drunker than a ship captain in the Suez Canal.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Biden talked about the biggest issues facing his presidency — the pandemic, the economy and Dr. Oz hosting ‘Jeopardy.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “Desus & Mero,” the “Saturday Night Live” star Kenan Thompson talked about his new sitcom.Also, Check This Out“Notating Transcribing Transcribing” (2021) by the Berlin-based American artist Christine Sun Kim, who is deaf.Photo by Stefan KorteFrom visual art to the film “Sound of Metal,” modern deaf creatives are using American Sign Language to perform across a variety of media. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Reminisces About One Year of ‘Living Contagiously’

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightJimmy Kimmel Reminisces About One Year of ‘Living Contagiously’“If somebody said ‘N95’ to you one year ago, you’d think they were a bingo caller,” Kimmel joked on America’s “coronaversary.”“The traditional gift for a one-year anniversary is paper, so I figured toilet paper makes the most sense,” Kimmel said while throwing some to a socially distanced audience of employees.Credit…ABCMarch 12, 2021, 1:45 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.One Year Later, Gifts for EveryoneJimmy Kimmel celebrated America’s “coronaversary” on Thursday night, referring to it as “one year of living contagiously.”“The traditional gift for a one-year anniversary is paper, so I figured toilet paper makes the most sense,” he said, while tossing the most in-demand item from last March to a sparse, socially distanced audience made up of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” employees.“I think we all remember where we were when we heard the news, because we’re all still there.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Well, it’s been exactly one year since we’ve had an audience, and I’ve got to say, I really miss the laughs, the energy, and of course, keeping the lost wallets.” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, it was a year ago today that we had our last show with a full audience. Six days later, I did the show from home, and six days after that, both my kids had agents.” — JIMMY FALLON“I remember that day like it was yesterday. Everything was shutting down, people were scared, grocery stores were ransacked, so I got up on a chair in the office and gave an inspirational speech where I said to my staff, ‘Gang, I know you’re terrified, but this is our moment. People are counting on us. So let’s get out there and put on the best [expletive] show of our lives!’ And then I looked down and the room was empty except for a tumbleweed that rolled past, stole a bottle of Purell off my desk and then left.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Way We Were Edition)“And today marks one year since the World Health Organization declared Covid-19 a pandemic. Prior to that, it was actually categorized as a legume.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“If somebody said ‘N95’ to you one year ago, you’d think they were a bingo caller.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Remember when we were carefully disassembling our Instacart deliveries like a munitions expert in ‘The Hurt Locker’? Watch out, the Chipotle could explode!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, it’s also the one-year anniversary of the first time I Lysol-ed a banana. But not the last.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s also been one year since we all trapped ourselves inside our homes with stockpiles of gin and red wine, watching ‘Tiger King’ and ‘Love Is Blind’ while clinging to our last shreds of toilet paper like a plank floating in the water after a shipwreck.” — SETH MEYERS“I think we all remember where we were when we heard the news, because we’re all still there.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, the past year was just like flying United Airlines. The engine fell off, but somehow we still made it.” — JIMMY FALLON“If you had told me a year ago that nearly 100 million Americans would be vaccinated for Covid by March 2021, I would have said, ‘What are you talking about? They said this will be over in two weeks. All we’ve got to do is flatten the curve, that’s it. When the warm weather comes, it will just disappear.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe writer and chef Eddie Huang talked with Desus and Mero about his new movie, “Boogie,” and his feelings about recent racially driven attacks on Asian-Americans.Also, Check This OutCredit…Nathaniel Russell, Alex Kalman, Sinna NasseriSeventy-five musicians, authors, directors, comedians, painters and playwrights answer seven questions about creativity and productivity (or lack thereof) in the pandemic.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Texas in Crisis, Ted Cruz Says, ‘Adios, Amigos’

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }Winter StormsliveLatest UpdatesMapping the ImpactTexans DesperateConnection to Global WarmingHow to HelpAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightJimmy Kimmel: Texas in Crisis, Ted Cruz Says, ‘Adios, Amigos’“Snake on a plane, right there!” Kimmel joked. “Headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build the wall around.”“And on a day when the most newsworthy landing should have been the NASA Rover successfully touching down on Mars, instead, it was a senator from Texas touching down on Cancún,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.Credit…ABCFeb. 19, 2021, 1:04 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Feeling the HeatLate-night hosts couldn’t resist coming down on Senator Ted Cruz for taking a trip to Mexico after a winter storm left millions without power and water in his home state, Texas.“Snake on a plane, right there!” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Thursday. “Headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build the wall around.”“Hundreds of thousands of Texans are still without power. And on a day when the most newsworthy landing should have been the NASA Rover successfully touching down on Mars, instead, it was a senator from Texas touching down on Cancún.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“While his fellow Texans are freezing with the power out, Ted Cruz did what any great leader would do when his state needs leadership most — he booked a flight to Mexico and said, ‘Adios, amigos!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ted Cruz! No, man, you got to be [expletive] me, dude! Your people are literally eating snow right now, and you’re jetting off to Cancún? I’m not even mad that you were selfish — I’m mad that you were so stupid. How can you be in politics for 10 years and still have no idea how bad this would make you look. What were you thinking?” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, seeing Ted Cruz skip town for the beach has been very frustrating for the people in Texas. But on the other hand, it has been really exciting for the people in Cancún who got to meet him on the street: ‘Wow, bro, I didn’t know that Señor Frog was a real guy. That was awesome.’” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, look, I get that Ted Cruz is tired. The man deserves a break after trying so hard to overthrow the government, but this is not the time, Ted!” — TREVOR NOAH“When your constituents said they need clean water, they didn’t mean go find a wet T-shirt contest in Cancún.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Total Ted Cruz Edition)“And what is even worse is that when he got caught, instead of owning up to it and apologizing, he acted like a total Ted Cruz.” — TREVOR NOAH“Seriously, Ted Cruz blaming his daughters for this is just gross. Being a good father means putting them on a bus, not throwing them under one.” — TREVOR NOAH“Oh, I see — we all got this thing wrong. Ted Cruz wasn’t going on vacation, people; he was just chaperoning his girls on the flight to Cancún. So, in some way, this was like a reverse ‘Taken’: [imitating Ted Cruz as Liam Neeson] ‘I want you to know that I am a man with absolutely no skills whatsoever, and I’m going to safely accompany my daughters on this trip.’” — TREVOR NOAH“He booked his return ticket at 6 a.m. this morning, after he got busted. But I guess we were supposed to believe he was just chaperoning his wife and kids to Mexico and was planning to come back the next day all along, with a carry-on bag stuffed like a piñata.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingDesus and Mero weighed in on “The Bachelor” host Chris Harrison stepping away from the show after recent controversy.Also, Check This OutCredit…The New York TimesThere’s something for everyone in the essential works of Toni Morrison in celebration of what would have been her 90th birthday.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More