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      Jimmy Kimmel Takes on Trump’s ‘Sad’ Return to the Campaign Trail

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      Kimmel called Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign “the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the Wizards.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Diet Trump’Former President Trump is back on the stump, kicking off his 2024 presidential campaign over the weekend with events in New Hampshire and South Carolina.Jimmy Kimmel said watching Trump return to campaigning was “sad,” calling it “the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the Wizards.”“Former President Trump kicked off his 2024 campaign on Saturday at the New Hampshire Republican Party’s annual meeting and said, ‘I’m more angry now, and I’m more committed now than I ever was’ — though it’s never a good sign when your opening pitch is, ‘I’m blind with rage.’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump also warned that if Ron DeSantis runs for president, he would consider it a great act of disloyalty. And, you know, loyalty means everything to the guy who cheated on his third wife with a porn star and thought it might be cool to hang his vice president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Speaking of DeSantis, I saw that he’s actively preparing for a possible presidential run, and he hasn’t landed on an official slogan yet, but he’s trying a few out. First, there’s ‘DeSantis 2024: Diet Trump.’ Next, there’s ‘DeSantis 2024: DeAmerica DeTruly DeDeServes DeDeSantis.’ And finally, ‘DeSantis 2024: Make America Florida Again.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brotherly Love Edition)“Guys, I want to say congrats to the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles on advancing to Super Bowl LVII. Yeah, to all the Chiefs fans, I want to say, ‘Congratulations.’ To all the Eagles fans, I want to say, ‘Good morning.’” — JIMMY FALLON“You can tell Philly partied hard last night because today the Rocky statue is holding up Tylenol and a Gatorade.” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, everyone in Kansas City is just as pumped. This is the Chiefs’ third Super Bowl appearance in the last four years. Even Tom Brady is like, ‘Hey, give someone else a chance.’” — JIMMY FALLON“This is interesting, Travis Kelce is going to be playing against his brother in the Super Bowl. His older brother, Jason, plays center for the Eagles. It’s the first time two brothers have ever competed in the Super Bowl against each other, which, that has got to be tough for their parents. I mean, no matter who wins, they’ve gotta take them both to Disneyland, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s already a history-making game because Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce and Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce will become the first brothers to face off against each other in a Super Bowl. But not the first time family members have played each other. Who can forget the dramatic playoffs matchup between Joe and Hannah Montana?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is really high stakes because they’re playing for who gets the top bunk.” — JAMES CORDEN“Maybe this is how Prince William and Prince Harry should sort out their issues.” — JAMES CORDEN“I would tell them, I would sit them down and say, ‘Boys, whoever wins is the son we love more and that’s that.’ That’s how Trump does it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThis week’s “Daily Show” guest host, D.L. Hughley, spoke with Ibram X. Kendi and Nic Stone, co-authors of “How to Be a (Young) Antiracist,” on Monday night.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Jessica Chastain, who stars in Showtime’s “George and Tammy,” will chat with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJennifer Coolidge and her character’s rant about murderous “gays” are featured in a popular dance mash-up of the theme song from the show “The White Lotus.”Fabio Lovino/HBODanceable remixes of “The White Lotus” theme song have become a hit in music venues and dance clubs. More

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      ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ Celebrates 20 Years on Air

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      Kimmel reminisced about his show’s highs and lows on its milestone anniversary.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ Turns 20“Jimmy Kimmel Live” celebrated its 20th anniversary on Thursday with a special prime-time episode. During his monologue, Kimmel read from early reviews that panned the show and said “very few people expected us to make it this far, but we did. One reason he cited: “I made a great deal with the devil.”“When we started, there were no iPhones. There was no YouTube, there was no Uber, no Twitter, no Wi-Fi, no Netflix, no Google. We had Nokias and Ask Jeeves, and that was it. We’ve been through two wars, a worldwide pandemic, four presidents, one insurrection, at least three different Kanyes.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You want to know how long our show has been around? We still have — this is real — a Blockbuster card. That’s how long. If you told me we were going to last longer than Blockbuster, I would have sooner believed I would be working at Blockbuster in 20 years.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Every day, it takes a lot of people to make something this dumb, and we’ve covered a lot of dumb stuff over the past 20 years, from Snooki to Honey Boo Boo. Ken Bone to Sarah Palin. Sanjaya. Clay Aiken. ‘Chocolate Rain,’ double rainbow, Stormy Daniels, William Hung, the astronaut diaper lady. Kim Kardashian’s sex tape. Hulk Hogan’s sex tape. Pam and Tommy’s sex tape. The Octomom — I think she made a sex tape. Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I have been allowed to use this platform to speak out about issues that matter to me, like health care, sensible gun laws. I’ve encouraged thousands of parents to eat their children’s Halloween candy.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Facebook Edition)“After a two-year suspension, Meta is reinstating former President Trump’s Facebook and Instagram accounts. Trump hasn’t been on Facebook for two years, so, pretty much just like the rest of us.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, letting Trump back on Facebook is crazy. You’re just asking for trouble. It’s like letting Hannibal Lecter babysit your most delicious child.” — WANDA SYKES“Look, we all know Facebook is losing a ton of money, and they want that Trump attention back. They need a hit. Trump is their ‘White Lotus.’” — WANDA SYKES“Well, yeah, that’s a punishment for all of us! If you’ll remember, back in 2021, the ex-president got kicked off of the platform for a Facebook violation known as trying to overthrow the U.S. government.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Meta, what are you thinking? You can’t allow him to post conspiracy theories on Facebook — that’s your mom’s friend’s job.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So what are these new rules? For starters, the ex-president will be required to follow Meta’s updated community guidelines, which prohibit violence and incitement, fraud and deception, and hate speech. So, all of the former president’s love languages.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert and his “Late Show” guest Tom Hanks shared posters from new movies they may or may have not co-starred in.Also, Check This OutJoan Didion transcended ordinary literary fame to become a symbol of bicoastal chic and, with her husband, John Gregory Dunne, an ideal of intellectual-conjugal partnership.The archives of Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne/New York Public LibraryThe New York Public Library has acquired Joan Didion’s papers from her joint archive with her husband, John Gregory Dunne. More

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      Late Night Riffs on Mike Pence and His Classified Documents

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      Jimmy Kimmel said the papers were found in a box with “a four-pack of Zima and Polaroids of Mother dressed in her swimming costume.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not So Classified After AllLast week, a lawyer for former Vice President Mike Pence found a dozen classified documents at Pence’s home in Indiana.On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel joked that the documents were found “in a box with some of his other secret items, including a four-pack of Zima and Polaroids of Mother dressed in her swimming costume.”“According to his lawyer, they discovered the documents in January. Pence, they say, immediately alerted the National Archives, and the F.B.I. came to pick them up. The lawyers found the documents in, of all places, Mike’s kitchen, behind the Pence family mayonnaises.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The craziest part about these documents that were found: They were found stuffed between a dozen Wu-Tang albums.” — JIMMY FALLON“These are crazy times. Right now, Walgreens has deodorant behind a locked case, while classified documents are laying around like J. Crew catalogs all over the house.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m starting to wonder if I have classified documents in my house.” — JAMES CORDEN“Wow. That is tough news for Mike Pence and fantastic news for Joe Biden.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“OK, so they’re just in every home? That’s the only thing that makes sense anymore. When you buy a new house and you move in, there’s just classified documents sitting on the counter next to that half-roll of paper towels and box of baking soda?” — SETH MEYERS“Is everyone just handed a box when they leave the White House? Like, ‘Thanks for coming, here’s some state secrets.’” — JAMES CORDEN“He says he took them home by accident, and they were found by one of his lawyers, who Pence asked to conduct the search of his home out of an abundance of caution. An ‘abundance of caution’ is also why Mike Pence leaves the room when TV commercials come on.— STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (And the Nominees Are Edition)“Today, the nominations were announced for the 95th Academy Awards. Yeah. Leading the way with 11 nominations is the movie ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once.’ It’s a film about all the places they found President Biden’s classified documents.” — JIMMY FALLON“The film that scored the most nominations was ‘Everything Everywhere All at Once,’ which is up for best picture along with ‘Top Gun,’ ‘Avatar 2,’ ‘Elvis’ and six movies no one has seen, including a movie called ‘Triangle of Sadness,’ which I always thought was a slice of Papa John’s pizza.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, as usual, there was good news and bad news. Good news: Michelle Yeoh became the first Asian woman nominated for best actress. But, bad news: No women were nominated for best director. Yeah. But remember, they gave it to Jane Campion last year, so I guess this year, they thought, ‘Eh, that should hold you broads for the next 50 years.’” — WANDA SYKES“James Cameron’s ‘Avatar 2’ didn’t get a best director nomination for Cameron, even though his movie was nominated for best picture, which is what you get for making us put on those dumb glasses for four hours.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“With his nomination for ‘The Fablemans,’ Steven Spielberg extended his record as the only person nominated for best director in six different decades. Yeah. Yeah. Six different decades. But what has he done besides that?” — JAMES CORDEN“This is a big movie for him. In fact, Spielberg is already spinning the film off into its own franchise. Look out for this in theaters this summer: ‘2 Fast, 2 Fablemans.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe recurring “Leave Him Alone Guy” zeroed in on George Santos on Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightKeke Palmer will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutA few protesters, including plaintiffs in a lawsuit against Ticketmaster, gathered outside the Capitol during the hearing Tuesday.Kenny Holston/The New York TimesTaylor Swift fans gathered outside the Capitol to protest Ticketmaster during Tuesday’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearing about anticompetitive behavior in the ticketing industry. More

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      Wanda Sykes Kicks Off ‘Daily Show’ Stint by Panning a Eulogy From Trump

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      Sykes ribbed Donald Trump for forgetting a Black woman he met several times and who supported him at rallies, “setting the Black race back 50 years.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Tone-Def Comedy Jam’Wanda Sykes started her weeklong stint as host of “The Daily Show” with a look at former President Donald Trump’s awkward eulogy during a memorial for an unwavering supporters who died recently. The service was for Lynnette “Diamond” Hardaway, one of two sisters who Sykes noted “were always showing up at his rallies, praising him on TV, setting the Black race back 50 years.”“You know those two. Trump held meetings with them, he’d invite them to the Oval Office, he would point at them and say, ‘See, Black people love me!’” — WANDA SYKESIn his speech, Trump said he recalled Diamond but didn’t remember Silk, who asked the former President to eulogize her sister.“I mean, come on — to say you know Diamond but don’t know Silk is wild, because they are always together. That’s like saying, ‘I know Bert, but I never heard of this Ernie fellow.’” — WANDA SYKES“If you just learned about Silk, I’m going to go ahead and say you didn’t know much about Diamond. That’s like saying, ‘I’m a lifelong fan of Garfunkel, but who is this Simon I’m just hearing about? Did they do anything together?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Knowing Trump, he probably only has room for one Black woman in his brain at a time. If he turns on the TV right now, he’ll be like, ‘Wow, Diamond’s hosting “The Daily Show”!’” — WANDA SYKES“Trump appeared before a sitting room-only crowd. One hundred fifty mourners gathered to hear him speak about their beloved Diamond — and he almost did. He almost spoke about her.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was more of a ‘me-logy’ than a eulogy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This speech had all the sincerity and grace you could possibly expect from a man who buried the mother of his children at the 16th hole of his golf course. And the crazy thing is, I bet he thinks it went great. I bet he feels like he just won a Soul Train Award.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a tone-def comedy jam.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Does Not Spark Joy Edition)“On Friday, the F.B.I. spent 13 hours searching President Biden’s house in Wilmington, Del., and they found more classified documents. You know what? At this point, just let us know when you stop finding them, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“As if the documents weren’t crazy enough, they also found the script for the last season of ‘Stranger Things.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The Justice Department also took handwritten notes from when Biden was vice president. One was a piece of paper addressed to Obama that just said, ‘Do you like me? Check yes or no.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s crazy. First Trump, now Biden. Today, just to be safe, Obama burned his house down.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s interesting how Biden and Trump have handled their situations differently. Biden has new documents found every week, while Trump went for the Netflix-style, binge-all-at-once release.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, come on, the man has been in public office for 238 years. I bet you most of the [expletive] he has isn’t even classified anymore. You read his notes and it’s like, ‘Keep an eye on this Hitler guy!’” — WANDA SYKES“Those notes are ancient. One of them was, ‘Find out who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Most of them were Post-it notes that say ‘Remember: Return classified documents.’” — JAMES CORDEN“How could America be $31 trillion in debt and, apparently, no one in the executive branch has ever purchased a shredder?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Apparently, all politicians just hoard classified material. I’m starting to wonder how Jimmy Carter insulates all those Habitats for Humanity.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“At this point, the F.B.I. is just decluttering Biden’s house for him. They’re like Marie Kondo going around his rooms like, ‘This list of spies does not spark joy.’” — WANDA SYKESThe Bits Worth WatchingFreddie Gibbs performed “Blackest in the Room” and “Feel No Pain” with Anderson .Paak on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe longtime couple and “Seriously Red” co-stars Rose Byrne and Bobby Cannavale will appear on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe trauma of Lakecia Benjamin’s car crash anchors “Phoenix,” a labyrinthine set of arrangements.Sabrina Santiago for The New York TimesThe saxophonist Lakecia Benjamin turned a broken jaw from a car accident into inspiration for her new album, “Phoenix.” More

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      Jimmy Fallon Finds the Funny in the Debt Ceiling

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      Fallon says the news that the government has hit its debt cap explains why “Mitch McConnell started an OnlyFans.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘So Broke’The United States reached its debt limit on Thursday, hitting a $31.4 trillion debt cap.“The country’s so strapped for cash, George Santos is emailing people pretending to be a Nigerian prince,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“Today, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said extraordinary measures are being taken to keep the government’s bills paid, which explains why tonight Mitch McConnell started an OnlyFans.” — JIMMY FALLON“America is so broke, the government might have to resort to extraordinary measures, like taxing the rich or not going to war all the time.” — LESLIE JONES, hosting “The Daily Show”“You know it’s not a good situation when the Treasury Department is like, ‘Hey man, could you — could you, could you wait until next week to cash that check?” — JAMES CORDEN“If you ask me, this is where we could use Donald Trump. Now look, I don’t — I didn’t like the guy, I don’t like the guy, I don’t. You’ve got to admit he is pretty good at not paying money that he owes.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Don’t Call It a Comeback Edition)“Trump, meanwhile, is desperately trying to get back on Facebook. You know, his team sent a letter to Mark Zuckerberg requesting that they unblock his account. I’m actually surprised Trump wants to get back on Facebook. Isn’t Facebook just an unpleasant annual reminder that Don Jr. and Eric were born?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Facebook said they are going to ‘look to experts to assess whether the risk to public safety has receded.’ This is like Jurassic Park saying they’re going to ask around to see if it’s cool to let the raptors out again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Who needs Facebook when you reach almost a dozen people a day on Truth Social?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingHarvey Guillén, who stars in “Puss in Boots: The Last Wish,” satirized George Santos on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMadonna performing at the singer Maluma’s concert, “Medellín in the Map,” in Medellín, Colombia, in 2022.Fredy Builes/Agence France-Presse — Getty ImagesAt 64, Madonna has announced her 12th world tour with all of the fanfare that followers have come to expect. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: George Santos Is a ‘Scooby-Doo’ Villain

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      “He’s been accused of stealing from a dog,” Kimmel said of the congressman on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.By Any Other NameGeorge Santos’s former roommate appeared on CNN this week after reports that the New York congressman had kept money raised on GoFundMe meant to help a veteran with a sick dog, and that he went by other names, such as Anthony Devolder.On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel said that it’s “always a bad sign when your former roommate is on CNN.”“Santos raised money for something called the Friends of Pets United. But, no surprise, the I.R.S. has no records of a charity with that name. OK, but have they checked for ‘Friends of Pets Devolder’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s gone by a number of names, including George Santos, Anthony Devolder, Anthony Zebrowski, LL Cool G, Supreme Court Justice George Bader Ginsberg, George Costantos, Melania, Malala, Madonna, and King George Batman Santos-Clooney.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“His roommate says he conned a homeless veteran out of money intended to save his service dog, which had to be put to sleep. Well, you checked every box with that one, that’s for sure.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s been accused of stealing from a dog. He’s literally a ‘Scooby-Doo’ villain at this point, and he’s in Congress.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Because when the veteran finally got ahold of Santos to schedule his dog’s surgery, Santos refused to give him any of the donations, saying he would take the money and use it for ‘other dogs.’ Yes, ‘other dogs’ like Max and Skipper and Rover Devolder.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Double Life Edition)“When he heard this, even Kevin McCarthy said, ‘That’s it. George Santos has got to go … sit on two House committees!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Speaker Kevin McCarthy put him on the Science Committee and the Space and Technology Committee, which makes sense because he’s the only congressman who found a cure for cancer and successfully manned a mission to Mars all this year alone.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Small business and science. Well those two make sense. I mean, Santos said he has a degree from the Bill Nye School at the Shark Tank Academy of Business Science. He even played for their volleyball team, the Fightin’ Barbara Corcorans!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A lot of people are saying that he’s not qualified and, I mean, just look at how he defined some simple space terms. For instance, when asked to define cosmos, Santos said, ‘That cocktail they love on ‘Sex and the City.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“The Menu” star John Leguizamo talked about his experience trying cobra blood on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightLily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno and Sally Field will talk about their new film, “80 for Brady,” on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutLuis A. Miranda Jr. invested in the documentary “Going Varsity in Mariachi.”Sundance InstituteMore people of color are financing movies focused on elevating underrepresented voices at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Charmed by Republican Concerns About Ron DeSantis

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      “It’s true. DeSantis is best on paper — specifically, that roll by the toilet,” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.This Charming ManRepublicans are eyeing Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as an alternative presidential candidate to Donald Trump for 2024, but G.O.P. insiders are struggling with DeSantis’s perceived lack of charm, saying he’s better on paper.“Oh, come on! You’re telling me this man lacks charm?” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday. “He’s got the smooth style of a nonplayable character in a PlayStation 2 game.”“Hey, get out of my bank with your skateboard, Tony Hawk!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, imitating a stiff DeSantis as a character in a video game“It’s true. DeSantis is best on paper — specifically, that roll by the toilet.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In a new episode of a podcast, former President Trump said that he heard Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis may challenge him for the Republican presidential nomination and added, ‘We’ll handle that the way I handle things.’ So, get ready, Ron — he’s gonna cheat on you.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brady’s Big Loss Edition)“Last night, the Dallas Cowboys knocked Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers out of the playoffs. Yeah, and now fans want to know, will Tom Brady retire, or retire then immediately unretire?” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, after the game, Brady was thinking about retiring, but then he saw the price of eggs and was like, ‘I can’t retire now.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t know what else Brady wants to accomplish, though. It’s kind of like Jeff Bezos playing Mega Millions. It’s like, you already have all the money.” — JIMMY FALLON“He was 7-0 against Dallas lifetime, now he’s 7-1. Brady was reportedly so upset after the game, he ate a carb.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“According to a new report, three N.F.L. teams are considering pursuing quarterback Tom Brady when he becomes a free agent. Not to mention about a dozen bocce leagues.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Late Night” writers Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel returned for another segment of “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” on Tuesday.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Shotgun Wedding” star Jennifer Lopez will stop by “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday.Also, Check This OutBen WisemanBroadway has deepened its gayness of late with new plays and musicals exploring queer themes, characters and songs. More

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      Late Night Chides Biden Over Birthday Gaffe

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      Stephen Colbert and other hosts poked fun at the president for seeming to forget the name of Martin Luther King Jr.’s daughter-in-law while singing her a birthday tune on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Forget-Me-NotLate night hosts poked fun at President Joe Biden on Monday after he seemed to forget the name of Martin Luther King Jr.’s daughter-in-law while singing her happy birthday at an event honoring the civil rights leader.“People are accusing him of forgetting her name,” Stephen Colbert said. “That’s not fair — he clearly never knew her name.”“Or maybe they’re just such good friends that he’s calling her by her nickname: ‘Lar-lurh.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“First rule: Don’t start singing ‘Happy Birthday’ unless you know the person’s name.” — JIMMY FALLON“There’s a reason why the birthday song at TGI Fridays doesn’t have the name in it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Rookie move, Joe. Every singer knows that when you forget the lyric, that’s when you point the mic towards the crowd.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Clue Edition)“The White House announced over the weekend that a third batch of classified documents was found at President Biden’s Delaware home. You know, finding new ones every few days isn’t helping. What are you guys doing over there? Searching one drawer at a time? Did he hide the documents in an advent calendar?” — SETH MEYERS“Over the weekend, five more classified documents were found at his home in Delaware, along with 9,000 stolen packets of Sweet’N Low” — JIMMY KIMMEL“At this point, they’ve found documents in so many places, it’s like we’re playing Clue. It’s like, ‘North Korea’s nuclear codes in the garage with the Corvette!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yup, the scandal has gotten so big, today Hunter Biden told his dad, ‘I can’t be seen with you right now.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Joe’s making me do something I swore I would never do: care about what happens in Delaware.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This might not even be the end, because sources say there are multiple additional spots that could be searched and it’s possible additional documents could still be found. Well, if this goes on till the spring, they can kill two birds and combine the search with the White House Easter egg hunt.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingNatalie Portman, Stephen Yeun, Danny DeVito, and several other actors performed a dramatic re-enactment of a NextDoor thread on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightLeslie Jones will kick off a weeklong guest-hosting residency on “The Daily Show” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutA selection of designer sunglasses owned by the late Andre Leon Talley are among his possessions to be auctioned by Christie’s.Christie’s“The Collection of André Leon Talley” is a 448-lot estate auction that will go on a three-city tour this winter, with proceeds benefiting Black churches. More