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      Marjorie Taylor Greene Calls the Police on Jimmy Kimmel

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      Kimmel said of Greene’s angry tweets about a joke he made earlier this week: “She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Marjorie Is the New KarenJimmy Kimmel struck a nerve with Marjorie Taylor Greene this week, prompting some tweets from the congresswoman in which she said she’d filed a threat report with the Capitol Police..@ABC, this threat of violence against me by @jimmykimmel has been filed with the @CapitolPolice. pic.twitter.com/nxYX1LF2jK— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (@RepMTG) April 6, 2022
      Kimmel was chuffed, saying, “This is what she does instead of working — she tweets.”“On our show Tuesday night, M.T.G. — ‘Klan Mom’ as we call her — earlier in the day called three of her fellow Republicans ‘pro-pedophile’ for supporting Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s nomination to the Supreme Court — which is lovely. A lovely thing to say. So I made a joke. I said, ‘Where is Will Smith when you need him?’ And the audience laughed. And then she saw it, and she decided she was going to get some political mileage out of this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“She called the police. Not only did she call the police, she called the same police she voted against giving a congressional gold medal to for defending our Capitol against the insurrection she helped incite on Jan. 6. That’s who she called — the people she wanted to defund.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s amazing how quickly you can go from ‘These liberals! You can’t say anything anymore’ to ‘What did you say? I’m calling the cops!’ Must be that cancel culture they’re always talking about.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So I, after processing the fact that someone called the police on me — believe it or not, that has never happened to me in my life — I tweeted back, ‘Officer? I’d like to report a joke.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This woman, remember, she is the one who endorsed fringe conspiracy theories and repeatedly indicated support for executing prominent Democratic politicians. Now she’s dialing 911 because she got made fun of. She’s a snowflake and a sociopath at the same time — a ‘snowciopath.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And nobody does anything. I feel like maybe other Republicans like having her around to make the rest of them seem normal.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Justice Jackson Edition)“‘Ladies and gentleman, the newest member of the United States Supreme Court, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson’ — is what I will be saying in a few months, when she’s actually sworn in. It’s a long process.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson today became the first Black woman to be confirmed to the Supreme Court, in case you’re wondering why the flag over the Fox News building is at half-staff.” — SETH MEYERS“Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson is the first Black woman on the Supreme Court. She got ‘yes’ votes from all Senate Democrats and three pro-pedophile Republicans.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, she’s going to be Justice Jackson. When Disney heard that name, they immediately added her to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Jackson will now debate the most important issues facing our country, like freedom of speech, states’ rights, and ‘Is it cake?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe rapper Pusha T talked about his writing process and collaborating with Jay-Z for his new album on Thursday night’s “Desus & Mero.”Also, Check This OutQuinta Brunson, center, created and stars in “Abbott Elementary,” a surprise hit in its first season.Liliane Lathan/ABC“Abbott Elementary,” a sitcom about the dynamics of public school in 2022, is this season’s best new network comedy, James Poniewozik writes. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Trips Out Over Mushrooms Talking to Each Other

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      “Anyone speak shiitake?” Kimmel joked of new research suggesting that fungi communicate.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sounds Like a ‘Fungi’A researcher in England recently discovered that mushrooms and other fungi communicate similarly to humans.“When they prodded them with electrodes, they exhibited spikes of cognitive activity that resembled vocabularies of around 50 words — like an Eric Trump-level vocabulary,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Wednesday.“Anyone speak shiitake?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They were able to determine that mushrooms say, ‘Hello,’ “Goodbye’ and ‘For the love of God, please stop eating us to get high.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ironically, you know who would find this story most interesting is people on mushrooms, right? Isn’t that crazy? A mushroom might actually be a ‘fungi.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Who’s Got Spirit? Edition)“Spirit Airlines may have a new owner soon. Back in February, Spirit announced plans to merge with Frontier Airlines, but yesterday, JetBlue swooped in with a better offer. JetBlue wants to buy Spirit for $3.6 billion, plus $55 extra for carry-on luggage.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Don’t worry, it’ll still be the same Spirit Airlines, except now every seat will have a TV that doesn’t work and a bag of blue chips.” — JIMMY FALLON“The JetBlue C.E.O. said, ‘Customers shouldn’t have to choose between a low fare and a great experience, and JetBlue has shown it’s possible to have both.’ And Spirit Airlines has shown that it’s not.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Spirit, in real estate terms, is what you’d call a ‘fixer-upper.’ This would be a clash in cultures for sure. Spirit is a budget airline, no frills. Ever fly Spirit? And then JetBlue offers things like free Wi-Fi, snacks, drinks — they have a real bathroom instead of a bucket that everyone passes around.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If there’s no Spirit anymore, who are we going to make fun of? Look out, Allegiant, you’re on deck.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth Watching“Carpool Karaoke” returned from a two-year hiatus with Nicki Minaj joining James Corden on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightPete Holmes, star of the new CBS show “How We Roll,” will pop by Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutChantal Anderson for The New York TimesThe actress Anya Taylor-Joy shared the beauty and wellness rituals she enjoys for comfort and self-soothing. More

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      Late Night Celebrates Obama’s First White House Visit in Five Years

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      Stephen Colbert joked that he hoped “they locked the doors to keep him in.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Obama in the HouseFormer President Barack Obama made his first return to the White House in five years on Tuesday.“Then, hopefully, they locked the doors to keep him in,” Stephen Colbert joked.“He was there to promote Obamacare and to get that pack of smokes he forgot in the Lincoln bedroom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Former President Barack Obama today visited the White House, and out of habit, Jeanine Pirro called for his impeachment.” — SETH MEYERS“Yep, Obama said he would have visited sooner, but gas prices were too expensive.” — JIMMY FALLON“But it was fun to see the former president at the White House. Obama felt like a guy who was visiting his old high school, and Biden was like the old gym teacher who never left.” — JIMMY FALLON“It was great to see him today. It was like the ‘White Men Can’t Jump’ reunion at the Oscars.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Obama was there celebrating the 12-year anniversary of the Affordable Care Act, Obamacare, and also to help Joe set up his Roku.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s really got to bother Trump. All these lies and schemes and lawsuits to get back to the White House, Obama just strolls right in there.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (On Bezos’ Grave Edition)“Over the weekend, workers at an Amazon fulfillment center in Staten Island were able to successfully unionize. It’s the first Amazon union. And the new president of the union said something funny. The president of the union said, ‘We want to thank Jeff Bezos for going to space, because when he was up there, we were signing people up.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This is great news. That is fantastic. And Amazon is now going all out to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The app essentially censors anything that’s controversial at Amazon, including the word ‘restroom,’ which, you know, may not be missed. Many Amazon workers are more familiar with the phrases ‘empty Powerade bottle’ or ‘on Bezos’ grave.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Amazon’s new internal messaging app“So these are all words Amazon will not allow: ‘Unions,’ ‘strike,’ ‘wages,’ ‘restrooms,’ ‘pee bottles,’ ‘empty Dasani,’ ‘bladder infections,’ ‘happiness,’ ‘life outside of work,’ ‘home,’ ‘going home,’ ‘I think I live at home but can’t remember,’ ‘help,’ ‘help us,’ ‘penis rocket,’ ‘overcompensating,’ ‘dork,’ ‘space dork,’ ‘bald space dork,’ and ‘I want to have sex with Alexa.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Tuesday’s “Tonight Show,” Amanda Seyfried shared how she mastered Elizabeth Holmes’s falsified deep voice for “The Drop Out.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightNicki Minaj will join James Corden for the return of “Carpool Karaoke” on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutTony Hawk, left, and Sam Jones as seen in Jones’s new documentary, “Tony Hawk: Until the Wheels Fall Off.”Sam Jones Pictures/HBO Documentary FilmsA new documentary about the professional skateboarder Tony Hawk explores his compulsion to continue skating at all costs. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Donald Trump’s Endorsement of Sarah Palin

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      “Trump endorsing Palin is like paste eating endorsing glue sniffing,” Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Consider the SourceSarah Palin announced on Friday that she would run for Congress, and she already has the support of former President Donald Trump, who released a statement saying, “Sarah Palin is tough and smart and will never back down.’”“Even from Trump, it’s pretty impressive to fit three lies into an 11-word sentence,” Jimmy Kimmel joked of Trump’s “bigly endorsement.”“I guess the ‘Masked Singer’ money dried up and Sarah is running for office.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump endorsing Palin is like paste eating endorsing glue sniffing. It’s ridiculous.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I saw that Sarah Palin has announced that she is running for Congress in Alaska, which is good news for Republicans and great news for Democrats.” — JIMMY FALLON“You know, for someone who could see Russia from her house, she should have known years ago what Putin was up to, don’t you think?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Special Message Edition)“Last night was the 64th annual Grammy Awards. And I think — I think it was a good night overall because nobody’s watching the uncensored Japanese version on Twitter, and that’s a good thing.” — JIMMY FALLON“Doja Cat nearly missed her acceptance speech, because she was using the bathroom. See? This is why they need litter boxes under the seats — I’ve said it a million times.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a fun night, hours and hours of musicians performing for free, or as that’s also known, Spotify.” — JIMMY FALLON“Ukrainian President Zelensky made an appearance on the Grammys. He gave a heartfelt address to the Grammys audience. He said, ‘The silence of ruined cities and killed people. What is more opposite to music?’ Which is very profound: What is more opposite to music? I thought he was going say Nickelback, which would have been a sick burn. But this was better — keep it focused.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And I got to say as a 48-year-old man, I was just happy to see someone at the Grammys whose name I knew.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJames Corden lamented the lack of great comedies like “Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion,” which starred Monday night’s “Late Late Show” guests, Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightOscar Isaac will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutThe Polaroid wall in Jennifer Venditti’s office, covered with images of models and personalities and local eccentrics. Ryan Lowry for The New York TimesA new book about Jennifer Venditti, a casting director, goes behind the scenes of her work on projects like “Euphoria” and “Uncut Gems.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Condemns Trump’s Digging for Dirt During a War

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      “It’s generally frowned upon for U.S. presidents, current or former, to solicit our murderous mortal enemies for dirt on their political rivals,” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Poor Sense of TimingIn a new interview with a right-wing news outlet this week, former President Donald Trump called on Vladimir Putin to release damaging information on the Bidens.Late-night hosts questioned his timing.“Damn, he’s asking for Russian help through the TV again? Does this man have no shame?” Stephen Colbert said. “And I withdraw the question.”“It’s generally frowned upon for U.S. presidents, current or former, to solicit our murderous, mortal enemies for dirt on their political rivals.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Well, now he’s asking Vladmir Putin to release dirt on the Bidens in the middle of a war. He wants our enemy to dig up damaging information about our president while he is attacking Ukraine — and he doesn’t see anything wrong with this. The whole free world is trying to stop Putin, Trump’s like, ‘Hey, got anything on the president’s crackhead son I can use? I’d really appreciate it.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“As usual, his timing is impeccable. He reminded the world that Putin is his buddy at the exact moment that everyone realizes that his buddy is actual Hitler. This is worse than last year, when Jell-O re-signed Bill Cosby to announce their new flavor, ‘Out on a Technicality Orange.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (G.O.P. After Dark Edition)“Speaking of right-wing weirdos, there’s some splashback to the story from North Carolina congressman and haunted jack-in-the-box, Madison Cawthorn. Recently, Cawthorn made some extraordinary claims that his Republican colleagues in Congress are orgy-frequenting degenerates with a fondness for hard drugs. Given the average age of the G.O.P., I assume they’re snorting Boniva.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Come on, man, do you really expect us to believe that Congress could plan and execute an orgy? At best, I can see them announcing an exploratory committee that would begin to investigate the feasibility of an orgy at a later date.”— SETH MEYERS“House G.O.P. leader Kevin McCarthy called Cawthorn into his office today, maybe hoping to score an invite or to tell him to stop narcing.” — SETH MEYERS“Rep. Dan Crenshaw of Texas said, ‘It does paint the picture here that isn’t accurate.’ Thank god, because that picture is too awful to be real. I’ve interviewed 80 members of Congress, and I’d have sex with two and a half of them. Not at the same time, of course — I’m not in the G.O.P.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This whole group of pro-Trump toadies is just so weird and loathsome, like Texas Senator Ted Cruz, for example, who, I’m gonna go out on a limb here, wasn’t invited to the orgy.” — SETH MEYERS“Oh, please don’t name names, because all those names go with faces we know.” — SETH MEYERS“Also, I got to say, if they were having orgies and doing cocaine, I would actually find that impressive. I mean, they’re all 70 and 80 years old. If you told me Chuck Grassley was snorting blow and boning nonstop, I’d be like, ‘Damn, maybe he’s more with it than I thought.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingA 72-year-old grandmother from the Bronx twerked for Jimmy Fallon on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe creator and star of “Starstruck,” Rose Matafeo, will sit down with Seth Meyers on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe author Casey McQuiston.Tonje Thilesen for The New York TimesAfter years of being relegated to back shelves, sales of L.G.B.T.Q. romance novels from authors like Casey McQuiston are booming. More

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      Late Night Has Fun With Trump’s Missing Phone Records

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      “The only time there should be a seven-hour gap is when you’re trying to remember what happened on St. Patrick’s Day,” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Scam Likely’The House committee investigating the events of Jan. 6, 2021, reported a seven-hour gap in President Donald J. Trump’s phone records, including the time of the Capitol riot.“Seven hours. I don’t know if anyone else is a fan of the show ‘Dateline,’ but if your phone records are missing even 10 minutes, you’re guilty,” Jimmy Fallon said.“I’m sure he was just busy volunteering somewhere, I mean, or maybe working on his watercolors, could be any of that.” — JAMES CORDEN“Even the ghost of Richard Nixon is like, ‘I don’t think you can do that.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The only time there should be a seven-hour gap is when you’re trying to remember what happened on St. Patrick’s Day.” — JIMMY FALLON“Instead, for all of those hours, all the White House phone records just say, ‘Scam likely.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is the thing with Trump — you never know. You never know if he’s more evil or lazy. He could have been plotting the overthrow of the government, or he could have been watching Fox News in the bath — you just don’t know!” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Burner Edition)“And now after making the discovery, the House committee is investigating whether Trump used burner phones. It’s always reassuring when a president acts like a character in ‘The Wire.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump denied it, saying, ‘I’ve never had a burner phone. I’ve had a couple of burner wives, but no burner phones.’” — JAMES CORDEN“So now the big question is, which White House toilet did he flush them down?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I wouldn’t be surprised. I mean, he already has a burner son.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJason Alexander starred in “Jeff Bezos: The Musical” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightHasan Minhaj will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutDaddy Yankee helped take reggaeton worldwide. He has said his March album, “Legendaddy,” will be his last.Greg Doherty/Getty ImagesThe reggaeton star Daddy Yankee announced his retirement after dropping his last album, “Legendaddy.” More

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      Late Night Tackles the Will Smith ‘Hitch’ Slap

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      “It was so shocking,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “The only thing I can really compare it to is when Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield’s ears.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Old ‘Hitch’ SlapLate night focused their Monday night monologues on Sunday’s big slap at the Oscars.“No one could have predicted that the most controversial movie of 2022 would be ‘G.I. Jane,’ but it was,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“The old ‘Hitch’ slap.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Obviously, Chris Rock did not deserve to be slapped in the face for a joke. Will’s point of view is he was defending his wife, and that’s a tough position to be in because it’s damned if you do, Ted Cruz if you don’t.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“To me, there’s only one more step to make this right: the Comedy Central roast of Will Smith, hosted by Chris Rock.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I hope they at least get together and have a ‘Red Table Talk’ or something, because it’s a bummer.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Let me say something as an objective observer: It’s never OK to punch a comedian.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’ve got to say, Will Smith was offended by the joke and wanted to stand up to his wife. Fine. Challenge Chris to a duel or, if you really want to hit him, don’t laugh. It hurts more than a punch, I promise you.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And by the way, no one did anything. A whole roomful of people, no one lifted a finger. Spider-Man was there, Aquaman was there, Catwoman, all sitting on their hands. No one helped Chris Rock.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“We will never stop talking about this. It was so shocking. The only thing I can really compare it to is when Mike Tyson bit Evander Holyfield’s ears. Even Kanye was like, ‘You went onstage and did what at an awards show?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yep, in just a split second, the Oscars went from Oscar de la Renta to Oscar De La Hoya, you know?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (We Don’t Talk About Jada Edition)“The 94th Academy Awards were held last night and featured the first live performance of ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno,’ from the Disney musical ‘Encanto,’ followed by an unbelievable live performance of ‘We Don’t Talk About Jada.’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s the worst thing Will Smith has ever done. Wait, I forgot about ‘Wild Wild West.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’m kidding, obviously. The worst thing he’s ever done is ‘Gemini Man.’ Someone should slap both of the guys in that movie.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Look, you move the award for best film editing out of the main broadcast and all hell breaks lose.” — JIMMY FALLON“Seriously, you know it was a strange award show when it ends with a statement from the L.A.P.D., you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“This was the Hollywood version of your drunk uncle starting a fight, ruining the wedding and then standing up and giving a long toast to the bride and groom.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingQuestlove, the newly minted Oscar winner and Jimmy Fallon’s bandleader, appeared as a guest on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightHannah Gadsby will stop by Tuesday’s “Late Show” to talk about her new memoir, “Ten Steps to Nanette.”Also, Check This OutAriana DeBose became the first openly queer woman of color to win an Oscar for acting.Ruth Fremson/The New York TimesThe 2022 Oscars made history in more than one way during Sunday night’s show. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Ted Cruz ‘Outslimed Himself’ This Week

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      Kimmel happily reported that the children’s book Cruz singled out to make a point about race at the Senate hearings for President Biden’s Supreme Court nominee this week became a No. 1 best seller.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Opposite of Oprah’s Book Club’In his Thursday night monologue, Jimmy Kimmel said Ted Cruz “even outslimed himself” at Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s Senate confirmation hearings this week.“On Tuesday, you know, he singled out this children’s book called ‘Anti-Racist Baby’ for promoting critical race theory, which it actually doesn’t. He said the book teaches that babies are born racist, which it also doesn’t. And, as a result of Ted’s tirade, that book is now number one on Amazon — it’s the number one seller. It’s like the opposite of Oprah’s Book Club or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And not only is the book selling well, since Cruz’s little grandstand, Amazon is also seeing a spike in sales of psoriasis medication, wart remover, nose hair trimmers, male Spanx, slug repellent and mullet combs.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you’re wondering what Ted Cruz was really focused on during the hearings, somebody got a shot of him on his phone searching for his own name on Twitter. How embarrassing. And can you imagine being Ted Cruz and still wanting to know what people were saying about you online?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Emergency Photo Op Edition)“The president is in Brussels right now for an emergency summit with our NATO allies. Together, the leaders of the G7 nations put out a forceful statement warning Russia not to use chemical or nuclear weapons on Ukraine, and also posed for a series of awkward photographs, starting with a group shot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, it was an emergency summit, but don’t worry: NATO leaders still had time for a family photo.” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t know, this seems unnecessary for an emergency meeting.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Looks like the sales team at a Honda dealership, doesn’t it? I’m expecting them to all say together, ‘We’re ready to serve you.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, it’s a very diverse group. There are suits of every color.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, that’s either a NATO summit or a conference for ‘men who don’t know what to do with their arms’ photo.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Uncharted” co-stars Mark Wahlberg and Tom Holland popped by the bodega on Thursday’s “Desus & Mero.”Also, Check This OutFrom left: Ally Bonino, Phillipa Soo, Taub, Hannah Cruz and Nadia Dandashi in the musical “Suffs” at the Public Theater.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesShaina Taub’s musical “Suffs” explores women’s crusade for the vote through a movement often divided along generational, class and racial lines. More