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      Jimmy Kimmel: George Santos Is a ‘Scooby-Doo’ Villain

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      “He’s been accused of stealing from a dog,” Kimmel said of the congressman on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.By Any Other NameGeorge Santos’s former roommate appeared on CNN this week after reports that the New York congressman had kept money raised on GoFundMe meant to help a veteran with a sick dog, and that he went by other names, such as Anthony Devolder.On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel said that it’s “always a bad sign when your former roommate is on CNN.”“Santos raised money for something called the Friends of Pets United. But, no surprise, the I.R.S. has no records of a charity with that name. OK, but have they checked for ‘Friends of Pets Devolder’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s gone by a number of names, including George Santos, Anthony Devolder, Anthony Zebrowski, LL Cool G, Supreme Court Justice George Bader Ginsberg, George Costantos, Melania, Malala, Madonna, and King George Batman Santos-Clooney.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“His roommate says he conned a homeless veteran out of money intended to save his service dog, which had to be put to sleep. Well, you checked every box with that one, that’s for sure.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s been accused of stealing from a dog. He’s literally a ‘Scooby-Doo’ villain at this point, and he’s in Congress.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Because when the veteran finally got ahold of Santos to schedule his dog’s surgery, Santos refused to give him any of the donations, saying he would take the money and use it for ‘other dogs.’ Yes, ‘other dogs’ like Max and Skipper and Rover Devolder.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Double Life Edition)“When he heard this, even Kevin McCarthy said, ‘That’s it. George Santos has got to go … sit on two House committees!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Speaker Kevin McCarthy put him on the Science Committee and the Space and Technology Committee, which makes sense because he’s the only congressman who found a cure for cancer and successfully manned a mission to Mars all this year alone.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Small business and science. Well those two make sense. I mean, Santos said he has a degree from the Bill Nye School at the Shark Tank Academy of Business Science. He even played for their volleyball team, the Fightin’ Barbara Corcorans!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A lot of people are saying that he’s not qualified and, I mean, just look at how he defined some simple space terms. For instance, when asked to define cosmos, Santos said, ‘That cocktail they love on ‘Sex and the City.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“The Menu” star John Leguizamo talked about his experience trying cobra blood on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightLily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Rita Moreno and Sally Field will talk about their new film, “80 for Brady,” on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutLuis A. Miranda Jr. invested in the documentary “Going Varsity in Mariachi.”Sundance InstituteMore people of color are financing movies focused on elevating underrepresented voices at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Charmed by Republican Concerns About Ron DeSantis

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      “It’s true. DeSantis is best on paper — specifically, that roll by the toilet,” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.This Charming ManRepublicans are eyeing Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as an alternative presidential candidate to Donald Trump for 2024, but G.O.P. insiders are struggling with DeSantis’s perceived lack of charm, saying he’s better on paper.“Oh, come on! You’re telling me this man lacks charm?” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday. “He’s got the smooth style of a nonplayable character in a PlayStation 2 game.”“Hey, get out of my bank with your skateboard, Tony Hawk!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, imitating a stiff DeSantis as a character in a video game“It’s true. DeSantis is best on paper — specifically, that roll by the toilet.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In a new episode of a podcast, former President Trump said that he heard Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis may challenge him for the Republican presidential nomination and added, ‘We’ll handle that the way I handle things.’ So, get ready, Ron — he’s gonna cheat on you.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brady’s Big Loss Edition)“Last night, the Dallas Cowboys knocked Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers out of the playoffs. Yeah, and now fans want to know, will Tom Brady retire, or retire then immediately unretire?” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, after the game, Brady was thinking about retiring, but then he saw the price of eggs and was like, ‘I can’t retire now.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t know what else Brady wants to accomplish, though. It’s kind of like Jeff Bezos playing Mega Millions. It’s like, you already have all the money.” — JIMMY FALLON“He was 7-0 against Dallas lifetime, now he’s 7-1. Brady was reportedly so upset after the game, he ate a carb.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“According to a new report, three N.F.L. teams are considering pursuing quarterback Tom Brady when he becomes a free agent. Not to mention about a dozen bocce leagues.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Late Night” writers Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel returned for another segment of “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell” on Tuesday.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Shotgun Wedding” star Jennifer Lopez will stop by “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday.Also, Check This OutBen WisemanBroadway has deepened its gayness of late with new plays and musicals exploring queer themes, characters and songs. More

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      Late Night Chides Biden Over Birthday Gaffe

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      Stephen Colbert and other hosts poked fun at the president for seeming to forget the name of Martin Luther King Jr.’s daughter-in-law while singing her a birthday tune on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Forget-Me-NotLate night hosts poked fun at President Joe Biden on Monday after he seemed to forget the name of Martin Luther King Jr.’s daughter-in-law while singing her happy birthday at an event honoring the civil rights leader.“People are accusing him of forgetting her name,” Stephen Colbert said. “That’s not fair — he clearly never knew her name.”“Or maybe they’re just such good friends that he’s calling her by her nickname: ‘Lar-lurh.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“First rule: Don’t start singing ‘Happy Birthday’ unless you know the person’s name.” — JIMMY FALLON“There’s a reason why the birthday song at TGI Fridays doesn’t have the name in it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Rookie move, Joe. Every singer knows that when you forget the lyric, that’s when you point the mic towards the crowd.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Clue Edition)“The White House announced over the weekend that a third batch of classified documents was found at President Biden’s Delaware home. You know, finding new ones every few days isn’t helping. What are you guys doing over there? Searching one drawer at a time? Did he hide the documents in an advent calendar?” — SETH MEYERS“Over the weekend, five more classified documents were found at his home in Delaware, along with 9,000 stolen packets of Sweet’N Low” — JIMMY KIMMEL“At this point, they’ve found documents in so many places, it’s like we’re playing Clue. It’s like, ‘North Korea’s nuclear codes in the garage with the Corvette!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yup, the scandal has gotten so big, today Hunter Biden told his dad, ‘I can’t be seen with you right now.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Joe’s making me do something I swore I would never do: care about what happens in Delaware.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This might not even be the end, because sources say there are multiple additional spots that could be searched and it’s possible additional documents could still be found. Well, if this goes on till the spring, they can kill two birds and combine the search with the White House Easter egg hunt.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingNatalie Portman, Stephen Yeun, Danny DeVito, and several other actors performed a dramatic re-enactment of a NextDoor thread on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightLeslie Jones will kick off a weeklong guest-hosting residency on “The Daily Show” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutA selection of designer sunglasses owned by the late Andre Leon Talley are among his possessions to be auctioned by Christie’s.Christie’s“The Collection of André Leon Talley” is a 448-lot estate auction that will go on a three-city tour this winter, with proceeds benefiting Black churches. More

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      Stephen Colbert: ‘Say It Ain’t So, Joe!’

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      Late night hosts lamented that more classified documents were found, this time in President Biden’s Delaware garage.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Car-a-Lago’Late night hosts ribbed President Biden on Thursday after additional classified documents were uncovered in his care, this time in the garage of his Delaware home.“No!” Stephen Colbert cried at the top of his monologue. “Say it ain’t so, Joe!”“I know you’re retirement age — are you starting a collection? They’re classified documents, not spoons from the Delaware Train Museum!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The White House announced today that President Biden’s aides found classified documents at several locations inside his Delaware home. And he’s had them for a while, because a lot of them have to do with the Louisiana Purchase.” — SETH MEYERS“You’ve heard of Mar-a-Lago — this is Car-a-Lago.” — JAMES CORDEN“Good Lord, apparently presidents lose classified documents the way we lose AirPods.” — JIMMY FALLON“Which is more dangerous: Joe Biden having classified documents in his garage, or Joe Biden having the keys to a Corvette?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He calls it ‘Stud Force One.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL[imitating Biden] “It’s in a locked garage. You think I might leave my sweet cherry Vette out on the main drag where some street thugs could scuff it with their switchblades? No sirree. I keep that baby locked up tight in my garage. Sunday afternoons, I go in there and buff it with a handful of missile maps.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (No Shame in His Blame Edition)“Back in 2017, Trump floated the idea of nuking North Korea and blaming the attack on another country. The old ‘Canada did it’ routine.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“According to a new book, then-President Trump discussed in 2017 the possibility of striking North Korea with a nuclear weapon and then blaming it on another country. Even weirder, he wanted to blame it on Belgium.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Trump discussed the possibility of striking North Korea with a nuclear weapon and then blaming it on another country. Oh, my God. Seriously? It’s nuclear war, not a fart.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Property Brothers performed a cover of The Righteous Brothers’ hit “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJoni Mitchell, in 2022.Frazer Harrison/Getty ImagesJoni Mitchell has been named this year’s recipient of the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song and will be honored with a tribute concert on March 1 in Washington. PBS will air the special on March 31. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: McCarthy Won After Near-Knockout Punches

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      “It got so out of control, I thought I was watching the Oscars,” Kimmel said of Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s 15-round ordeal.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘A Full Ali-Frazier’After 15 rounds of voting, Kevin McCarthy was sworn in as speaker of the House of Representatives early on Saturday morning.Jimmy Kimmel called it “a full Ali-Frazier,” saying “it was the political equivalent of handing your kid an iPad to shut him up.”“Things really started to spin out on the floor of the House. It got so out of control, I thought I was watching the Oscars.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ahead of the last round of voting for House speaker, Alabama Congressman Mike Rogers appeared to charge at fellow Republican Representative Matt Gaetz. And, out of habit, Gaetz yelled ‘I’ve never even met your daughter!’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s a face mask violation — 15 yards. It was really the most exciting hour of cable news in quite some time.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oh, my God. I don’t know if men should hold political office. They’re just too emotional!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s one thing to hold a dude back by his shoulders, but by his face? Is this the House of Representatives or a Long Island wedding?” — SETH MEYERS“Republicans resorting to violence on the House floor? What a perfect way to honor the two-year anniversary of Jan. 6.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (New But Not Improved Edition)“After 15 rounds of voting, McCarthy pulled off the impossible — he got people to watch C-SPAN for an entire week.” — JIMMY FALLON“I can’t even imagine what McCarthy was going through. It must have felt like sitting outside Applebee’s and waiting four days for your disc to buzz.” — JIMMY FALLON“McCarthy was like, ‘I’m just glad it didn’t go to a 16th vote. That would have been humiliating.’” — JIMMY FALLON“We have a new, not improved, but we have a new speaker of the House.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They chose McCarthy the same way you choose Thai food on New Year’s Day: ‘You guys want Thai? Well, nothing else is open!’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Gwyneth Paltrow offered some post-divorce dating advice on Monday’s “Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightPrince Harry will pop by Tuesday’s “Late Show” to discuss his new memoir, “Spare,” with Stephen Colbert.Also, Check This Out“M3GAN,” about a robot doll programmed to befriend and protect a young girl (Violet McGraw), riffs on some of the classic conundrums that arise when a machine develops humanlike qualities.Universal PicturesIn the scary movie “M3GAN,” the titular robot doll’s dancing is part of the horror. More

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      Late Night Finds More Laughs in Kevin McCarthy’s Third Day of Failure

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      Jimmy Kimmel says he “can’t wait for Lin-Manuel Miranda to make a musical out of it.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.This Seems FamiliarRepresentative Kevin McCarthy lost several more rounds of voting on Thursday, the third day of his attempt to become speaker of the House — stymied, so far, by a band of Republican rebels.Jimmy Kimmel lamented that Nancy Pelosi “was supposed to be on our show tomorrow night but she can’t fly home because she needs to be in Washington to watch Kevin McCarthy lose 11 more times.”“I can’t wait for Lin-Manuel Miranda to make a musical out of it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The House of Representatives adjourned last night after a sixth round of voting for a House speaker and reconvened today at noon. Because nothing says ‘We’re working hard to solve this problem’ like starting at noon.” — SETH MEYERS“McCarthy’s stuck in some sort of nightmarish existential purgatory like the waiting room scene in “Beetlejuice,’ you know, but next to someone scarier than anyone in that movie.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to Representative Matt Gaetz“And get this: I read that some Democrats and Republicans are considering a deal for a speaker both parties can get behind. So congratulations to our new speaker of the House, ‘Top Gun: Maverick.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Meanwhile, McCarthy is now in the negotiation phase, where he’s making a bunch of concessions with the Republicans who are against him, and one of those concessions is a change to the rules that would make it easier to remove him. You know it’s bad when the only way you can get hired is if you promise to get fired, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“Why does he keep going? I’m beginning to think losing floor votes might be his kink.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Why else would Kevin McCarthy keep doing this other than to make me happy? Because I cannot get enough of this.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Royal Rumble Edition)“In his forthcoming book, Prince Harry claims that Prince William once knocked him to the floor during an argument about Meghan. Apparently, the fight happened at the Buckingham Waffle Palace.” — JIMMY FALLON“They got in a fight after William insulted Harry’s wife, Meghan Markle. Harry claims William called Meghan ‘difficult,’ ‘rude’ and ‘abrasive,’ which he probably could have saved time and just said she’s American.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Two brothers who are the result of generations of inbreeding got in a fight? The only surprise to me is it didn’t happen in Florida.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s fun when royals fight, ’cause they keep their pinkies out.” — JIMMY FALLON“Harry also writes in his new book that before he married Meghan, William and Kate were religious viewers of her show ‘Suits.’ I feel like I believed everything Prince Harry said until just now. I don’t think even the stars of ‘Suits’ were religious viewers of ‘Suits.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert teased Prince Harry’s upcoming “Late Show” appearance to promote his book, “Spare” (“either a gripping tell-all about the royal family or a book of handy bowling tips”). Also, Check This OutRaúl Castillo in “The Inspection” as Rosales, a character he describes as “someone who looks out for an underdog.”Patti Perret/A24Raúl Castillo plays a drill instructor who takes a bullied recruit under his wing in Elegance Bratton’s “The Inspection.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Roasts Kevin McCarthy as He Falls Short, Again

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      Kimmel joked that the “last time a Kevin felt this abandoned in his house was in the movie ‘Home Alone.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Biden to the RescueAfter three more rounds of voting on Wednesday, Representative Kevin McCarthy still couldn’t get enough support to become speaker of the House.“Who would’ve guessed that a bunch of insurrection apologists would have trouble certifying a vote?” Jimmy Kimmel joked.“McCarthy needs 218 votes from his fellow Republicans to be speaker. He started with 203, he’s down now to 201. The last time a Kevin felt this abandoned in his house was in the movie ‘Home Alone.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The last time something like this happened was 100 years ago. And I’ll tell you something, damn it, Joe Biden solved it then, and he can solve it again.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Unpopularity Contest Edition)“As of tonight’s taping, Republicans still have not chosen a speaker of the House after Kevin McCarthy lost his sixth vote in Congress. To be honest, it’s hard to get every Republican on board. It’s like getting 218 friends to agree on where to have brunch.” — JIMMY FALLON“At this point, McCarthy is so unpopular, even Southwest Airlines feels bad for him, you know?” — JIMMY FALLON“You guys can’t even have a red wave amongst yourselves.” — SETH MEYERS“But this is interesting — according to the Constitution, if they don’t have a speaker by tomorrow, the top contenders have to compete in a dance-off.” — JIMMY FALLON“The White House said yesterday that President Biden has no plans to intervene in the House Speaker election after Republican leader Kevin McCarthy failed to secure enough votes during the second ballot to ascend to the speakership — at least not until it stops being hilarious.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Wednesday’s “Late Show,” the country singer Shania Twain shared how isolated she needs to be to write her songs.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe actress Laura Dern will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutMichelle Williams.Sinna Nasseri for The New York TimesMichelle Williams, the Golden Globe-nominated actress, says her varied career has prepared her to play a nuanced role based on Steven Spielberg’s mother in “The Fabelmans.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Thrilled Over Kevin McCarthy’s Troubles

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      “But remember, there’s more important things in life than winning or losing — there’s making fun of Kevin McCarthy for losing,” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Three-peatRepublicans were deadlocked on Tuesday after Representative Kevin McCarthy repeatedly lost his bid to become speaker of the House.Stephen Colbert opened his show by saying he was “0 for 2” on his New Year’s resolutions: “One was to drink less, and the other was to not gloat when bad things happen to Kevin McCarthy,” which he followed up with a big swig of bourbon.“It’s been a day of pure, uncut, Peruvian blue-flake schadenfreude, watching the G.O.P. stab each other in the throat,” Colbert said.“He needs 218 votes to win, but in the first two votes, he got only 203. OK, he lost twice, but you know what they say: ‘Third time’s the — he also lost.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Kevin McCarthy is being held hostage by a group of Republican extremists who don’t believe he leans far enough to the right. He lost three rounds of voting today, even though he’s made multiple offers to these lunatics. He even agreed to cut the Office of Congressional Ethics. This is one of their demands, which is basically like replacing seatbelts with fettuccine.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, I looked it up. Technically, the Constitution does not require the speaker of the House to be an elected member of Congress — it could be any American, which, to me, sounds like the premise for a pretty solid Pauly Shore movie.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But remember, there’s more important things in life than winning or losing — there’s making fun of Kevin McCarthy for losing.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Reportedly, interns in his office are already expected to call him ‘Mr. Speaker,’ and this weekend, staffers were seen moving his boxes into the speaker’s office. I wouldn’t be in a big hurry to unpack. He may not be great at counting votes, but he’s good at counting chickens before they hatch.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Catfish Edition)“George Santos was sworn in today as a member of the House of Representatives in the state of New York. And not, as he originally claimed, Pandora.” — SETH MEYERS“Santos just got elected in New York, and we recently learned that during the campaign, he lied about — and I’m rounding down here — everything.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“For starters, during his campaign, Santos claimed to have attended both Baruch College and New York University, but neither school could locate records to verify his claims. So, he may not have graduated, but he did get his B.S.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He basically catfished an entire congressional district.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s now being investigated by federal prosecutors who want to know how he was able to self-fund $700,000 of his campaign when he reported only making $55,000 a year. He must have one hell of an OnlyFans, is all I can figure.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But despite all that, he did not resign. He showed up to his first day of work in Washington today where no one, not one of the many scoundrels wriggling around the House, wanted to sit with him. He just sat — imagine being so toxic not even Matt Gaetz wants to sit next to you.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yep, it’s odd when a congressman holds up his right hand to be sworn in, and everyone’s like, ‘You know what? Don’t bother.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon paid tribute to Barbara Walters on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show,” sharing a story of a time he asked her for advice.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe country music star Shania Twain will chat with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutDionne Warwick performing in 2021. Nina Westervelt for The New York TimesThe five-time Grammy-winning singer Dionne Warwick is the subject of a new career-spanning documentary, “Dionne Warwick: Don’t Make Me Over.” More