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      Stephen Colbert Rues the Fox Settlement

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      “I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” Colbert said of Fox News settling the defamation suit brought by Dominion Voting Systems.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trial and ErrorDominion Voting Systems settled its defamation lawsuit against Fox News on Tuesday, with the conservative news network agreeing to pay $787.5 million to avoid a trial.“I want my trial!” Stephen Colbert bemoaned on Tuesday.“I want it! You were supposed to provide me six weeks of delicious content! I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I guess it’s satisfying for Dominion that Rupey had to fork over a pile of cash, but that does nothing for our democracy. What we need is Fox News personalities to look straight into the camera, admit that they lied over and over again about the 2020 election, and then hurl themselves into Mount Doom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I am glad that there is some accountability here. But still, I am pretty disappointed we are not going to get a trial, because all the Fox anchors would have been forced to testify. It would have been like the ‘Seinfeld’ finale, but instead of — instead of soup Nazis, it’s just Nazis.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Since Fox is going to have to pay nearly a billion dollars, they’ll need to implement cost-cutting measures. Sadly, they have to fire Brian Kilmeade’s reading tutor, Jeanine Pirro has to switch to the cheap box of wine, development on a third Doocy has been halted. They’re going to have to switch from Jesse Watters to tap waters. And of course, they’re going to have to put down Sean Hannity.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Settling Up Edition)“You could tell Fox was stressed about the trial ‘cause they spent the day chugging Bud Light.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off.” — JIMMY KIMMEL on the settlement“Immediately after the settlement, Fox issued a statement that said, ‘This settlement reflects Fox’s commitment to the highest journalistic standards.’ They’re already lying in their statement about lying.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a fitting lesson for the world from the American justice system. Yes, it is — there’s a price to pay for lying to the American people, and if you can afford that price, go for it!” — JAMES CORDEN“Fox News has to pay Dominion nearly $800 million. It’s so much money, they’ve already started selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper took “Daily Show” cameras inside the world’s largest gun show.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMichelle Obama will appear on “The Tonight Show” on Wednesday.Also, Check This Out“I wanted to be considered for a range of roles,” Chita Rivera writes in her new memoir, “and for the most part I succeeded.” Daniel Dorsa for The New York TimesThe 90-year-old singer-dancer Chita Rivera reflects on her life and career in “Chita: A Memoir.” More

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      Late Night Skewers Clarence Thomas for Not Disclosing Gifts

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      “The Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas has “taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Best of FriendsJustice Clarence Thomas is under fire for unreported gifts, trips and other financial transactions with the conservative donor Harlan Crow.On Monday, the “Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas is “the Supreme Court justice who’s taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”“Last week, we learned that Thomas had secretly accepted luxury trips from right-wing billionaire Harlan Crow. And that’s his actual name, not his ‘Game of Thrones’ cosplay character.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Crow is an arch-conservative who’s known for his assorted Nazi memorabilia and garden full of statues of the 20th century’s worst despots. It’s so impressive that they put him on the cover of ‘Hitler Homes and Goebbels.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“On top of that, Clarence Thomas’s mom is still living in that house rent-free, and Harlan Crow is paying for thousands of dollars of renovations. All of which Clarence Thomas should have disclosed by law — although, in his defense, the law is complicated, and he is only a Supreme Court justice.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Justice Thomas claims that he did not have to report all these gifts because he and Crow are such close buds. But this must be one hell of a friendship because on Thursday we learned that, back in 2014, Harlan Crow bought property from Clarence Thomas, including the house where Thomas’s elderly mother was living. That might give him a little influence.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Crow claims there’s nothing corrupt about this, saying, ‘My intention is to one day create a public museum at the Thomas home.’ Just a reminder, Harlan Crow has Hitler’s napkins and a statue of Stalin in his garden. So building you a museum? Not a huge compliment.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Love is Blind Edition)“Netflix is apologizing after last night’s ‘Love is Blind’ live reunion was delayed due to technical issues. Yeah, even though they couldn’t see the reunion, ‘Love is Blind’ fans still managed to fall in love with it anyway.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingFreddie Highmore, a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” shared horror stories from previous talk show experiences (though he would not name names).What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightFresh from her Coachella performance, the rapper Glorilla will perform Tuesday on Jimmy Kimmel.Also, Check This OutJessica Hecht, left, said she and her “Summer, 1976” castmate, Laura Linney, right, share a “clarity of purpose.” She added: “I’m interested in plays that talk about intimacy.”Thea Traff for The New York TimesLaura Linney and Jessica Hecht play intensely intimate friends in David Auburn’s new play, “Summer, 1976.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Can Tell When Fox News Is Lying

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      A judge said he would probably appoint a “special master” to investigate whether Fox had misled the court. The “Late Show” host thinks he’s up to the job.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fox News NewsA judge sanctioned Fox News on Wednesday for withholding evidence relevant to Dominion Voting Systems’ lawsuit. He said he would probably appoint a “special master” — an outside lawyer — to investigate whether the network had misled the court.“So the job is to figure out whether Fox News lies?” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday. “Hold on, hold on — am I a special master? Do I get a sash?”“Over in Fox News News, today they began jury selection in Dominion’s $1.6 billion defamation suit against Fox, and this trial’s gonna be juicy. For instance, the judge has ruled that Dominion can compel testimony from Fox News personalities Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and Jeanine Pirro. And to make sure Jeanine Pirro tells the truth, they’re swearing her in on a box of wine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So the judge is furious because Fox withheld the tapes. Although to be fair to Fox, they might not have known which embarrassing Rudy Giuliani tape they were being asked for. The one where the oil was leaking from his head or the one where he’s farting in court? The one where he’s unbuttoning his pants for Borat’s daughter? Or could it be the one where he held a press conference outside a dildo shop? How are they supposed to keep track of them all?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Solitary Confinement for Dummies’ Edition)“This afternoon, the FBI arrested a 21-year-old Massachusetts Air National Guardsman in connection with the leaking of classified documents that were posted online. The leaker is described as a lonely young man who is part of a chatroom group that shares a love of guns and military gear. You know how sometimes — you know you find yourself going, ‘It’s always who you least suspect, isn’t it?’ This isn’t one of those times.” — JAMES CORDEN“Teixeira was taken into custody in Massachusetts, where just moments before, he was seen from a helicopter reading a book on his porch. That book: ‘Solitary Confinement for Dummies.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, for taking these classified documents home, Teixeira could face charges under the Espionage Act and could get up to 10 years in prison per document. So he’s in trouble unless he declassified them with his mind.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to a Donald Trump declassification technique“As a 21-year-old, he’s devastated that this mistake may cost him his future, but he’s also thrilled that he’s posted something online and it totally went viral.” — JAMES CORDEN“He posted some of the documents in a chatroom for gamers, and I don’t even know how this works. Does someone like write, ‘Hey guys, how do I win in Fortnite?’ and you respond like, ‘I don’t know, but here’s some satellite images of Ukraine.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingBen Affleck revealed a secret from his youthful past on Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“Hilma” is about Hilma af Klint, who believed that spirits guided her to paint.Juno FilmsLasse Hallstrom’s biopic “Hilma” follows the life and career of the mystical artist Hilma af Klint. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Skewers Trump for Tucker Carlson Interview

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      Kimmel called the interview “a 45-minute blabfest,” saying it made “one thing very clear: the fact that Donald Trump is a profoundly stupid person.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Together AgainFormer President Donald Trump sat down for a lengthy interview with Tucker Carlson on Fox News on Tuesday.Jimmy Kimmel called the interview “a 45-minute blabfest,” saying it made “one thing very clear: the fact that Donald Trump is a profoundly stupid person.”“It was quite a chat. Trump covered everything from World War III, which he seems to be rooting for, to wanting to take the president of China to a Broadway show, and also he — as he often does — managed to shoo in some thoughts about the N-word.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He does not have the best words. He is not a stable genius. That mental competency test he’s always bragging that he passed? This is something the average 7-year-old could pass, OK? — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Harsh Accurate Words’ Edition)“Last night, the former sat down with Tucker Carlson who, thanks to revelations from the Dominion lawsuit, we now know hates the president passionately, privately texting that he’s ‘a demonic force.’ Harsh, accurate words.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s terrified because three weeks ago, we found out he’d been texting his co-workers about Trump saying, ‘I hate him passionately,’ he’s ‘a demonic force,’ he’s ‘a destroyer, he’s not going to destroy us,’ ‘I’ve been thinking about this every day for four years.’ And then, after thinking about it for four years, Tuck sat down with the demonic force and slobbered all over his Christmas ornaments.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJoan Baez, visiting the “Late Show,” talked with Stephen Colbert about singing “We Shall Overcome” with Representative Justin Jones in Nashville this week.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightBen Affleck, star of “Air,” will pop by Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutOver the last two decades, Rita Indiana has become one of the Caribbean’s foremost cultural agitators.Luisa Opalesky for The New York TimesThe Novelist/musician Rita Indiana’s new show “Tu nombre verdadero” (“Your Real Name”) debuts in New York on Friday. More

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      Late Night Reacts to the Official End of the Covid Era

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      Jimmy Kimmel joked that President Biden declared the pandemic’s end “about a year after the rest of us did.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The End of an EraPresident Biden signed a congressional resolution into law on Monday, officially ending the U.S. national emergency response to the Covid-19 pandemic.Jimmy Kimmel called it “the dawn of a new era,” joking that Biden declared the pandemic’s end “about a year after the rest of us did.”“I’m not sure what it means for our health, but here this means that we here can finally get back to some of our favorite prepandemic ‘Late Show’ segments, like ‘subway blind taste test.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I have to say, I learned a lot during the pandemic. I learned that people who are most resistant to the government telling them what to do also happen to be the people who most need the government to tell them what to do and ironically are the same people who are most supportive of the government telling other people what to do.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But it wasn’t all bad. There were some positives. People helped each other. We found out who in our communities care about others, and maybe most importantly, we now have enough toilet paper to last the rest of our lives.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The end of the Covid era is surprisingly kind of bittersweet. This morning, I did something — I wiped down my groceries just for old-time sake. I actually bought a bottle of Purell and wiped it down with Purell.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden Goes to Belfast Edition)“Then this morning Biden was off to the emerald Ireland. The trip is part diplomacy and part homecoming, because Biden’s ancestors came to the U.S. from Ireland in the mid-1800s, when Biden was just a teen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Biden is a proud Irish American. He’s planning to visit relatives over there from the Blewitt family — that’s his family’s name — and I really hope the visit goes well, because if Biden blows it with the Blewitts, Fox News is going to have a field day tomorrow.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden is making the trip to discuss Brexit, address Ireland’s parliament, and, if he’s got time later in the week, to meet with Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell to see if he can’t just patch up all of this silliness.” — JAMES CORDEN, referring to the plot and stars of “The Banshees of Inisherin”The Bits Worth WatchingTuesday’s “Late Show” guest Jennifer Garner recalled how she once landed Jennifer Coolidge’s dream role, playing a dolphin.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night“Mrs. Davis” star Betty Gilpin will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutAlison Goldfrapp in London. The singer, best known for her duo, Goldfrapp, is going solo in May.Rosie Marks for The New York TimesAlison Goldfrapp’s new solo album, “The Love Invention,” is a disco-tinged departure from her usual. More

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      Stephen Colbert Isn’t Fazed by the News About Clarence Thomas

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      “‘Wow, I can’t believe Clarence Thomas did something inappropriate,’ said a woolly mammoth reanimated after being frozen in the Siberian permafrost,” Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Red Flags on the S.S. MoneybagsClarence Thomas, the Supreme Court justice, has come under fire for accepting lavish trips and gifts from Harlan Crow, a wealthy conservative donor, without disclosing that he had done so.“‘Wow, I can’t believe Clarence Thomas did something inappropriate,’ said a woolly mammoth reanimated after being frozen in the Siberian permafrost,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday.“Crow’s relationship with Justice Thomas was more than just a few voyages on the S.S. Moneybags. These luxury trips happened virtually every year for more than two decades, including trips around the world on Crow’s superyacht, flying on Crow’s G5 jet, and visits to Crow’s various estates, including one in the Adirondacks, which has a three-boat garage. Well, yeah, a busy family’s got to have three boats — what if the kids sleep late and miss the school yacht?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Thomas insists that these gifts from Crow don’t count because of their personal relationship, saying, ‘We have been friends for over 25 years.’ OK, but you’ve been on the Supreme Court for 31 years. ‘Oh, it’s not a bribe — he’s my friend.’ ‘Oh, how’d you guys meet?’ ‘Oh, he was bribing me.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s your close personal friend that you know everything about, so I guess it would be really embarrassing to learn that Harlan Crow has a collection of Adolf Hitler artifacts and Nazi memorabilia, including two paintings by Hitler. Ladies, take note. That is a red flag.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Crow also has a display of swastika-embossed linens. Yeah, yeah. It all comes with the Monsters of History fine dining set: You get the Nazi Napkins, the Pol Pots and Pans, and the Osama bin Ladle.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Easter Monday Edition)“At the White House this morning, the Bidens hosted the annual egg roll. Why they do this the day after Easter, I don’t know. Jesus is like, ‘I have to rise again again?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a tradition going back over a century, to when children were invited to search for treats in Chester A. Arthur’s muttonchops.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Once again, this year’s theme was ‘Egg-ucation,’ although Biden also made time to address the Egg-conomy.’” — JAMES CORDEN“But this is not the first time they’ve repeated themes. You know, when Trump was president, the Easter theme was ‘Eggomaniac’ for three years in a row.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn the “Late Show,” Brian Cox shared some thoughts on his character, Logan Roy, after this week’s explosive episode of “Succession.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe comedy legend Carol Burnett will appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutMarilyn Minter at her studio pictured with “Mickalene Thomas,” 2022-23, with large enamel on metal painting at right.Thea Traff for The New York TimesAt 74, the artist Marilyn Minter’s ambitious new show includes portraits featuring women she admires, such as Gloria Steinem, Monica Lewinsky and Mickalene Thomas. More

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      Late Night Is Tickled by Trump’s Indictment

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      “He was right — we’re finally saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again!” Stephen Colbert said of Donald Trump on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Merry Christmas!Former President Donald Trump was indicted by a New York grand jury on Thursday in connection with his role in paying hush money to a porn star, according to people familiar with the situation.“He was right — we’re finally saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again!” Stephen Colbert said. The host celebrated by eating an ice cream sundae out of a helmet on what was also the opening day of the 2023 Major League Baseball season.“I didn’t know it would feel this good!” he said.“This is good news for everybody, even him. He now gets to join his J6 Prison Choir!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And, you know what, he should see whether that grand jury will cut him a check for $130,000, because he is so screwed.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“For the first time in the history of this country, an American president has been indicted for his role in paying hush money to a porn star, although, in fairness, that’s a pretty narrow window. Like when Grover Cleveland was president, porn stars were very hard to come by. Still, it’s historic, and it’s funny — it’s very, very funny.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But hey, let this be a lesson to all you kids out there, OK? If you commit fraud to cover up an affair with a porn star, the law will catch up to you after, like, seven years and a full term as president.” — JOHN LEGUIZAMO, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Maybe instead of running for president, he’ll do another show, like ‘The Celebrity Apprehentice.’ Or maybe, maybe a sitcom like ‘Arrested Developer.’ We don’t know. All we know is that right now for the first time in seven years, Melania is smiling at Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s going to be arrested, he will be fingerprinted, he will be read his Miranda rights. Wait till he finds out, all this time, he had the right to remain silent. He’s going to kick himself. That’s going to be a tough pill to swallow.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Satisfaction Guaranteed Edition)“The report is that they are going to try to negotiate his surrender. Either that, or they’ll leave a trail of Big Macs leading to the prison.” — JOHN LEGUIZAMO“When she heard, Stormy Daniels was, like, ‘Oh, so this is what it feels like to be satisfied?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Who’s going to help Don Jr. pick out his Lunchable tomorrow?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And you know, I take a firm stance against mass incarceration, OK? But for this, I’m willing to make an exception. I just hope they take it easy on him and put him at least in a cell with his lawyer.” — JOHN LEGUIZAMOThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon enlisted puppies to predict the results of this year’s Final Four on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutTeyana Taylor stars with Aaron Kingsley Adetola in “A Thousand and One,” which won a grand jury prize at the Sundance Film Festival.Focus FeaturesAfter stepping away from recording music to focus on acting, Teyana Taylor landed the lead role in the drama “A Thousand and One.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Recaps Day Eight of ‘To Catch a President’

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      Kimmel complained that the grand jury is “leaving us hanging like Trump tried to do with Mike Pence.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Two More Weeks of WaitingOn Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel joked it was “Day Eight of ‘To Catch a President.’”“The grand jury in Manhattan is still out, and they are going to stay out for two weeks,” Kimmel said, adding that they are “leaving us hanging like Trump tried to do with Mike Pence. But that’s a different indictment, I think.”“Some experts believe that it is possible the grand jury may already have voted to indict Donald Trump but that the Manhattan D.A. is slow-walking it to give him time to make preparations for his arrest, whereas others are saying it’s possible — and this is pretty crazy — that Donald Trump died two years ago and we’re all being haunted by his ghost.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yep, a potential indictment is at least a month away. Melania was like, ‘Welp, cancel the party.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even Ted Cruz was like, ‘You’re going on vacation now?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eyewitness Edition)“The reason we know this is good for the country is because neither Pence nor the former president want it to happen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Mike Pence being forced to testify before a grand jury in the Jan. 6 investigation“The ex-president argued that his conversations with Pence fell under executive privilege, while Pence claimed that his role as the president of the Senate granted him legislative immunity. So, he was a part of the executive branch and the legislative branch. You can see it all in the new movie, ‘Every Job Everywhere All Mike Pence.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Another day has gone by, and the ex-president still has not been indicted for making illegal hush money payments to a porn star. I really thought it was going to happen today. After all, Wednesday is Cover Your Hump Day.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingKevin Bacon joined Jimmy Fallon for a parody called “Paint It, Black” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe actress Maude Apatow, a star in “Little Shop of Horrors,” will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe artist Aura Rosenberg at her first major survey, “What Is Psychedelic,” at Pioneer Works in Brooklyn.Tonje Thilesen for The New York TimesArtist Aura Rosenberg’s first major survey, “What Is Psychedelic,” features 50 years of her work, including collaborations with Laurie Simmons, Louise Lawler, John Baldessari and Mike Kelley. More