Kimmel, Jimmy

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      Jimmy Fallon Parodies Trump’s Podcast-Length Call with Putin

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      The “Tonight Show” host said President Trump had spent most of the call “trying to sell Putin a Cybertruck.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.To and From Russia With LovePresident Trump and Vladimir Putin had a nearly three-hour phone conversation on Tuesday, during which Putin said he’d agree to a partial cease-fire in Russia’s war against Ukraine.On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon said that Trump spent most of the call “trying to sell Putin a Cybertruck.””[imitating Trump] Think of it as a mini-tank with a mind of its own.” — JIMMY FALLON“Three hours. That’s not a phone call, that’s a podcast: [imitating Putin] ‘And now a message from ZipRecruiter.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Putting Trump on the phone with Putin is like putting your grandma on the phone with a Nigerian prince. [imitating grandmother] ‘This fellow is so charming!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Putin agreed to nothing today. People keep asking if Trump is getting played by Putin, which is like asking if ‘Hava Nagila’ is getting played at a bar mitzvah.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But both sides said the call went well, which makes sense, because they’re both on the same side.” — JIMMY FALLON“And, yeah, Russia actually described the call as ‘historic and epic.’ And nothing makes me feel safe like a happy Russia.” — JIMMY FALLON“But the White House said Putin agreed to a partial cease-fire. At least they think he did — it was tough to hear on the phone with Elon’s kids playing tag in the background.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Nine Months Later Edition)“Here’s some good news: Today, the Boeing astronauts who were stranded at the International Space Station for nine months finally returned to Earth. Welcome! Right now, they’re the first people in history to honestly text someone, ‘Sorry, just saw this.’”— JIMMY FALLON“Today, the astronauts were, like, ‘I just want to get home, watch “Joker 2,” make a three-egg omelet and dip my toes in the Gulf of Mexico. I can’t wait.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Wait till they find out what’s been going on down here — they might go back up.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jon Stewart Isn’t Falling for Trump’s Golf Tournament ‘Win’

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      After the president claimed victory at his own club, Stewart compared him to “the Make-a-Wish Batman kid: ‘Hey, look at that, Donald. You caught all the criminals.’” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Hole in NonePresident Trump declared on Sunday that he’d won a championship at Trump International Golf Club in Florida — not the first time he’d claimed victory at one of his own clubs.Jon Stewart mocked Trump’s announcement with some well-placed air quotes on Monday’s “Daily Show.”“Oh, he ‘won the tournament’ at ‘Trump International’? How did that happen?” Stewart said.“This dude’s whole life, he’s like the Make-a-Wish Batman kid: ‘Hey, look at that, Donald. You caught all the criminals.’” — JON STEWART“Look, I’m opposed to anyone rolling back American democracy, but I do tip the cap to any 78-year-old winning a golf tournament.” — JON STEWART“And, by the way, still having enough energy left to stroll into the command center in his golf attire to bomb the [expletive] out of Yemen! Yeah. Now, look, anyone can bomb the [expletive] out of Yemen after nine holes, but 18?” — JON STEWART“Who are the other players in this tournament? I mean, seriously, are there other golfers, or is it just Eric with his Fisher-Price clubs?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I want to see a full 580-page investigation of this tournament. I want to know everything. I want scorecards, I want video, I want affidavits from the caddies, I want a forensic investigation of every divot he didn’t bother to replace. How is it possible that this guy beats every other golfer every year?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (St. Patrick’s Day Edition)“Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Once again, it is cabbage’s night to shine tonight.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know what? The way things have been going lately, it’s nice to have an excuse to drink on a Monday.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, people getting lit on a Monday morning. For one day, everyone gets to feel what it’s like to be a pilot for Southwest.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Takes Shots at Trump’s Liquor Tariff Threat

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      Jimmy Kimmel pointed to the irony of President Trump “making it very expensive to get drunk. He’s the reason we need to get drunk!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sobering ThoughtsOn Thursday, President Trump threatened to impose a 200 percent tariff on wine, champagne and spirits imported from Europe.Jimmy Kimmel pointed to the irony of Trump “making it very expensive to get drunk. He’s the reason we need to get drunk!”“Yeah, a 200 percent tariff on champagne and wine. Americans heard and were, like, ‘You can do whatever you want with wine; just don’t mess with our gummies.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s a lot — almost enough to make you feel bad for people who buy champagne and wine.” — JIMMY FALLON“People buying champagne and wine were, like, ‘What’s next, caviar and truffles?’” — JIMMY FALLON“The E.U. said, ‘Oh, yeah? We’re going to put a 50 percent tariff on boats, bourbon and motorbikes from the United States,’ which is interesting because boats, bourbon and motorbikes — they’re specifically targeting Kid Rock for some reason.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That is going to make it so much harder for European men to have a midlife crisis. You can’t outrun your mortality on a Vespa!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump’s playing a dangerous game. Nobody wants to attend a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and cheese party, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“So get ready to toast the next New Year’s with America’s finest sparkling beverage, Champagne Code Red.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Wheels Off Edition)“Tesla owners are facing backlash everywhere they go. Recently, somebody stole the wheels from every single Tesla in a Texas parking lot. Whoever did it, I do not condone this, but I do appreciate your ‘tire-less’ efforts.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, I want to be clear: I do not condone violence or vandalism of any kind. That is a deeply held belief of mine that comes from the bottom of my CBS legal department.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“With that in mind, I find it interesting that there’s a growing trend of Cybertrucks being vandalized and used as skate ramps or covered in garbage. To be fair, that might not be vandalism; that might just be a simple mistake, because they do look a lot like a dumpster.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      John Mulaney Says His New Show Is Netflix’s Mistake

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      The comedian said Netflix “picked up this show by accident. They thought that it was a true-crime documentary because I look like a disappeared boy.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Live From L.A. (Again)Netflix launched its new late-night show, “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney,” on Wednesday. In his monologue, Mulaney promised 12 episodes of a “jazzlike, unpredictable talk show.”“I’m not gonna lie — we’ve been working on this episode all day. Some crew got here as early as 9 a.m.” — JOHN MULANEY“I can’t do coke or Adderall anymore, so I’m making it your problem. Will this show get my heart rate up to the level where I feel alive? We shall see.” — JOHN MULANEYJohn Mulaney is your problem now. #EverybodysLive pic.twitter.com/xiIT2JYFlu— Netflix (@netflix) March 13, 2025

      The comedian reminded viewers that he’d had an earlier show with a similar concept: a six-episode live series called “Everybody’s in L.A.” that ended last May. While fans enjoyed its unpredictability, the show’s name was a turnoff in Netflix screen tests, he said: “It turns out that people around the country don’t like L.A.”“After the fires, I said, ‘Maybe they like us more now,’ so we tested it again, and it turns out, no. People still didn’t.” — JOHN MULANEY“Netflix actually picked up this show by accident. They thought that it was a true-crime documentary because I look like a disappeared boy.” — JOHN MULANEYMulaney also referred to his much-scrutinized personal life with his wife, the actress Olivia Munn, and their two young children before moving on to the night’s guests.“Yes, I have two children now. One was controversial; one you all seem to be cool with, so thank you so much for that.” — JOHN MULANEYThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bad Education Edition)“Trump just announced he’s firing 50 percent of the Department of Education. Even worse, Trump said, ‘Don’t worry, the other 60 percent will still have jobs.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump, really, he’s Thanos-ed the Department of Education.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The new secretary of education is Linda McMahon, who’s married to Vince McMahon of the W.W.E. Could you imagine getting fired by the wife of the disgraced wrestling meathead? Don’t let the folding chair hit you on the way out.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Slams Trump’s Skills of Shill for Tesla

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      “But why should he, when he did a big commercial for them today, absolutely free?” Kimmel said after the president brought some of Elon Musk’s cars to the White House.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.No Such Thing as Bad Publicity?Tesla’s stock has been plunging, so much so that Jimmy Kimmel thinks Elon Musk “may have to fire himself.” But Musk got a boost from President Trump, who promised to buy a Tesla and had some brought to the White House on Tuesday.“The guy has spent the entire campaign screaming about how awful electric cars are, is now buying an electric car. Of course, there’s no chance he will actually pay for this electric car. But why should he, when he did a big commercial for them today, absolutely free?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I remember the time he saved Party City by buying a kazoo — it was heroic.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I would imagine they probably don’t even have a place to charge it at the White — maybe he’ll make little Marco run on a hamster wheel.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Watching Donald Trump check out a Tesla — it was like watching a monkey with an iPad.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He had them line up five Teslas on the White House driveway so Trump and Elon could shoot a car commercial on government property.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s finally turned into the used-car salesman we all knew he was all along.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Just the idea that we all now have to dig deep to help the richest man in the world who’s down to his last $324 billion sell cars is preposterous.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sorry Not Sorry Edition)“There’s a silver lining on the implosion of the world economy — it’s bad for Elon Musk, too.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Right now the economy is so bad, Elon Musk is thinking about laying off Donald Trump.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yesterday alone, Musk lost more than $16 billion. Wow! Wow! To put that in perspective, that’s more than some people make in a year.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Tesla stock has plummeted 50 percent since December, and there’s a good reason for that. It’s a phenomenon economists call ‘Everybody [expletive] hates that guy.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSting and Shaggy pulled from their most popular lyrics to sing about the economy on Tuesday’s “The Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “White Lotus” star Parker Posey will chat with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutIn “Long Bright River,” Amanda Seyfried plays a Philadelphia police officer who investigates the murders of vulnerable young women.David Holloway/PeacockAmanda Seyfried played against type with her new role as a Philadelphia beat cop in a new Peacock series, “Long Bright River.” More

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      Late Night Takes Stock of Trump’s Effect on the Markets

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      “In the first Trump term, it took a disease to destroy the economy,” Stephen Colbert said. “This time, he’s the disease.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Stocks Down, Measles Up’Wall Street had its worst day of 2025 on Monday, after President Trump declined to rule out the possibility that his tariffs might lead to a recession.Stephen Colbert said the clocks might have sprung forward on Sunday for daylight saving time, “but today, the stock market fall down go boom.”“The Dow Jones dropped 890 points. Now, I don’t know a lot of financial jargon, but let’s just say your 401 is not ’k,” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In the first Trump term, it took a disease to destroy the economy. This time, he’s the disease.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During a Fox News interview, President Trump declined to rule out the possibility that his economic policies could cause a recession. Trump was, like, ‘Depends if we use my economic policies from this morning or this afternoon.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s not great when the summary of your first two months in office is ‘Stocks down, measles up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“When asked by reporters yesterday aboard Air Force One about the possibility of a recession, President Trump said that his tariffs will make the U.S. ‘so rich, you’re not going to know where to spend all that money’ — unless, you know, you’re feeling like an omelet.” — SETH MEYERS“What do you want us to watch instead? [imitating Trump] ‘Maria, it’s a mistake to watch the stock market when you should be watching ‘Severance.’ What a show; it’s a great show.’” — SETH MEYERS, in response to Trump telling the Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that Americans shouldn’t watch the stock marketThe Punchiest Punchlines (Spring Forward Edition)“Well, guys, yesterday was daylight saving time, and we lost an hour of sleep. Democrats were, like, ‘An hour? We haven’t slept since November.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I tried something a little different this year. I set my clocks ahead four years. It didn’t work.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“We sprung forward. I might have pulled something. But considering the way things are going, I’ve never been more grateful to be one hour closer to the end of whatever this is.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We go forward, we go backward. It’s like living in a Christopher Nolan movie, and Matt Damon is in those — I want no part of it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingFormer Gov. Andrew Cuomo of New York was the subject of Saturday’s “Lie-Curious” segment on “Have I Got News For You.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe drag performer Trixie Mattel will appear on “After Midnight.”Also, Check This OutLady Gaga’s “Mayhem” is a bright, shiny and thoroughly sleek pop record.Arturo Holmes/Getty ImagesFor her new album, “Mayhem,” Lady Gaga mines her past for self-mythologizing nostalgia. More

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      All Signs Point to Democrats Being Hopeless, Michael Kosta Says

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      During President Trump’s speech, Democrats held “little paddles as if they were ready to give Mike Johnson a naughty little spanking,” the “Daily Show” host said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Audience ParticipationPresident Trump’s 99-minute address to Congress was still providing fodder for late-night hosts on Wednesday. Michael Kosta was unimpressed with how Democratic lawmakers chose to express their opposition.On “The Daily Show,” Kosta said the speech was “a theatrical production where everybody has a role, and they slip right into it.”“Democrats showed up in full wardrobe, dressed in pink as a symbolic protest against people who wanted them to do something meaningful.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“They came with props, too, holding up little paddles like they were ready to give Mike Johnson a naughty little spanking, huh? Either that or a pickleball match.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Trump was confused by the paddles. He was, like, ‘We’re not auctioning off Greenland until later.” — JIMMY FALLON“What turned out to be an amazing night for America coincided with the worst night for Democrats since Republicans canceled slavery.” — GREG GUTFELD“Luckily, Democrats stood up to him the only way they know how: by writing about it later in their diaries.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON”I really love that while Trump was saying the wildest [expletive] on earth, Democrats just sat there with their little paddles. Like, you really shouldn’t stand up to fascism the same way that we play ‘Is It Cake?’” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON“It was the longest presidential address in more than 60 years. Why is it that the orchestra can play off an Oscar winner but not the president?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s speech went on so long — his speech was 10 minutes longer than ‘The Lion King.’” And had twice as much lyin’ in it. — JIMMY KIMMEL“Stayed up late last night for a live show following Donald Trump’s address to Congress, which set the record for the longest address to a joint session of Congress ever. Felt longer.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I mean, so long you couldn’t bring in DOGE to make any cuts?” — SETH MEYERS“His speech was so long, Adrien Brody played him off.” — SETH MEYERSWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Is Underwhelmed by Trump’s Address to Congress

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      Jimmy Kimmel noted that the president’s speech started late: “I guess they were waiting for that last coat of shellac to dry on his face.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The White POTUS’President Trump addressed a joint session of Congress on Tuesday night. Jimmy Kimmel called it “a very special episode of ‘The White POTUS.’”“His speech started late. I guess they were waiting for that last coat of shellac to dry on his face.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Members of the Trump family were there: Eric was there, Lara, Don Jr., Jared, Ivanka, even Melania showed up. So Democrats weren’t the only people who hate him there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Things got off to a big start when Trump and JD Vance held hands and sang a medley from ‘Wicked.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He laid out his MAGA-genda for the next four years. They include wildly unpopular tariffs, abandoning our allies, buddying up to Russia, tax cuts for the rich and turning Gaza into Atlantic City — all the reasons blue-collar America voted for this man.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump said our momentum is back, our spirit is back, our pride is back. And not the gay kind, either: the regular pride.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What he’s talking about, I have no idea. The stock market’s down, consumer confidence is down, the dollar is down. The only things that are high are egg prices and Elon Musk.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In the end, Trump’s first address to Congress was much like his first six weeks: filled with useful lies, and applauded by useless idiots.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He told our farmers to have a lot of fun and said the days of unelected bureaucrats are over, with Elon standing right there clapping like an imbecile. Yay for unelected bureaucrats.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And the days of rule by unelected billionaires have just begun. Elon! Take a bow, Elon! You paid for it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It was quite a night. There were about 400 people in attendance — 300 were members of Congress, and 100 were Elon’s kids.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, the night was pretty much a welcome back party for Trump, Republicans and measles.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bad Neighbor Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More