Late Night with Seth Meyers (TV Program)

Subterms

    More stories

    • 88 Shares179 Views

      in Television

      Late Night on the New Hampshire Primary

      by

      Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump beat Nikki Haley by 11 points and that he’s “also leading Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘No Applause?’Former President Donald Trump won the New Hampshire Republican primary on Tuesday, taking 54.3 percent of the vote to Nikki Haley’s 43.3 percent.Jimmy Kimmel kicked off Wednesday night’s show by congratulating Trump on his win. “No applause?” he joked.“He beat Nikki Haley by double digits. He’s also leading Nikki Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump defeated Nikki Haley 54 to 43. It’s the very first time he’s ever been happy to see a woman in her 40s.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump cruised to victory, and just like most cruises, half the people partied while the other half felt really sick.” — JIMMY FALLON“Meanwhile, before the votes even came in, Nikki Haley made it clear she wasn’t dropping out. Yep, her campaign released a memo that said, ‘We aren’t going anywhere.’ I’m not sure that slogan is going to work: ‘Nikki Haley: We aren’t going anywhere.’” — JIMMY FALLON“But Nikki Haley has no plans to stop; she will not drop out. Last night, she told supporters that the race is far from over, she still has literally dozens of states to lose.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sore Winner Edition)“That’s right, Former President Trump won yesterday’s New Hampshire primary, while Nikki Haley finished second. Haley gave a concession speech, while Trump gave a concussion speech.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump was visibly upset Nikki Haley gave a speech as if she won. He reportedly spent the night seething about it, and I don’t blame him. Pretending you won when you actually lost, it’s his thing; not cool, Nikki.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] How dare she act like she won when she lost? I mean, what kind of maniac pretends they won when they really lost?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert offered Gen Z a quick pep talk on the merits of giving blood amid a drop in donations.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJustin Timberlake will pop by to see Jimmy Fallon on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutCindy Sherman at her studio in New York City.Caroline Tompkins for The New York TimesCindy Sherman’s photo-portraits of women assembled digitally from fragmentary parts make up her new show at Hauser & Wirth. More

    • 88 Shares159 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Kimmel Processes the New Hampshire Primary

      by

      Kimmel said Republicans had a choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Huge in New HampshireThe New Hampshire Republican primary took place on Tuesday, kicking off in the township of Dixville Notch, as is tradition.Jimmy Kimmel said that voters had a tough choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”“Spoiler alert: Haley ended up sweeping the Dixville Notch primary, winning all six votes. Yeah, now, six votes might not sound like a lot, unless you’re Ron DeSantis.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Today was the New Hampshire primary. And then tomorrow, diner customers can go back to eating their meals in peace.” — SETH MEYERS“The New Hampshire primary is over, which means the candidates can stop pretending like they want to be in New Hampshire in January.” — JIMMY FALLON“It was a tense day for former President Trump. He spent all day wondering if he won New Hampshire or if the vote was rigged.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Trump spent the day awaiting the verdict, although he’s pretty much spent the last year and a half awaiting a verdict. He’s used to it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Haley had a unique advantage in New Hampshire because, like the state, her initials are ‘N.H.,’ which after tonight will stand for ‘not happening.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Cognition Impossible Edition)“In a new interview, presidential candidate Nikki Haley questioned former President Trump’s mental fitness and said that she thinks he is ‘declining,’ while Trump thinks Nikki Haley is that lady from ‘Law and Order.’” — SETH MEYERS“The two of you need to sit down side by side, live television — not so close he can cheat off you, but pretty close to each other. We’ll put a divider between you so he doesn’t get chicken-nugget grease on your dress, and let’s find out whose brain works better. We’ll call it ‘Cognition Impossible.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It would be the television event of the year. [imitating host] ‘First question, Mr. Trump — define the word ‘aptitude.’ [imitating Trump] ‘It’s when the plane goes up.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I bet he couldn’t pass the quiz on a Denny’s place mat.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon found his guest, Kevin James, stuck in his viral meme pose on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Succession” star J. Smith-Cameron will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThough Ryan Gosling, left, received an Oscar nomination, the “Barbie” star Margot Robbie, center, and the movie’s director, Greta Gerwig, were nominated in some categories but not others.Warner Bros.This year’s biggest Oscar snubs include the women of “Barbie,” Leonardo DiCaprio, and the “May/December” star Charles Melton. More

    • 113 Shares129 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Bids Adieu to G.O.P. Dropout Ron DeSantis

      by

      The now-former presidential candidate “knew it was time to go four months after the rest of us did,” said Jimmy Fallon.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.DeSantis Is HistoryDays after finishing 30 points behind Donald Trump in the Iowa caucuses, Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida bowed out of the presidential race on Sunday.“Yeah, DeSantis knew it was time to go four months after the rest of us did,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.“Florida governor Ron DeSantis announced yesterday that he was suspending his presidential campaign — and this only a few days after Iowa announced it.” — SETH MEYERS“DeSantis met with his advisers, and they were, like, ‘Ron, how do we put this? There’s a better chance of you being a judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” than being president of the United States.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, when he saw the latest polls, DeSantis clicked his high heels together three times and said, ‘There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s estimated that Ron DeSantis spent $2,263 per vote he got. It literally would have been cheaper to buy each of his supporters a Peloton bike.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I don’t understand why Americans didn’t rally behind a guy who declared war on the Magic Kingdom, attacked trans kids, denied Covid, kidnapped migrants and flew them to Martha’s Vineyard, and ate pudding with his fingers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is one of the most spectacular political crash-and-burns of all time. At least DeSantis doesn’t have to worry about banning history books anymore, because he won’t be in them.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, it’s been a real roller coaster ride for DeSantis. But he said he’s happy, ’cause at least with this roller coaster, he was tall enough to ride.” — JIMMY FALLON“So now the field has been narrowed down to Nikki Haley and nobody else, living every woman’s nightmare: being left alone with Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Not Winston Churchill Edition)“DeSantis posted a video announcing that he was dropping out, and during it he attributed a quote about failure to Winston Churchill, but Churchill never actually said it. See, this is what happens when you ban textbooks.” — JIMMY FALLON“The International Churchill Society says on its website, ‘We can find no attribution for the quote, and it is found nowhere in his canon.’ Now, I know a lot of people are saying DeSantis could have fact-checked that in one of the books he banned, but that’s not fair. To quote Winston Churchill, ‘you can also just [expletive] Google it.’” — SETH MEYERSWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?  More

    • 125 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Chides Donald Trump for a Lack of Self-Control

      by

      “He can’t even control an umbrella,” Seth Meyers said of the former president on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Get Ahold of YourselfA judge threatened to remove Donald Trump from court on Wednesday after he could be heard muttering disparaging comments during E. Jean Carroll’s second defamation suit against the former president.“A judge actually had to tell a former president of the United States, ‘You can’t control yourself,’” Seth Meyers said on Thursday. “He can’t even control an umbrella.”“Things are so crazy right now. In a year, Trump is either going to be president again, or we’re going to see him in Times Square offering to take pictures with tourists next to Elmo and Spider-Man.” — SETH MEYERS“Now, you’re probably saying, didn’t that trial already happen? Yeah, it did. We also already did Trump versus Biden. Get used to everything happening twice. Get used to everything happening twice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Trump doesn’t believe he should be held accountable for anything. At 2 a.m., he scream-posted ‘A president of the United States must have full immunity, without which it would be impossible for him/her to properly function.’ No, Trump doesn’t believe in any accountability. He believes the presidency should be like the movie ‘The Purge,’ which is why he’s always wearing that weird leather pig mask.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It is nice to hear him being inclusive. [imitating Trump] ‘I believe the president, whether it be him or her, Hispanic or Her-spanic, should have a private kill squad to take out those who dare speak against him.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is not a man who has any moral limitations, so I can’t imagine what he means by saying he should be allowed to cross the line. What’s he going to do, imprison his political opponents? Chop off California and sell it to Russia? Outlaw umbrellas?” — SETH MEYERS“This is the kind of thing that should end with Trump in prison or, best case, living alone in a motel by the racetrack. But every time he gets worse, his poll numbers get better, which explains his new 2024 slogan: ‘Welcome to Hell.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Kissing Cousins Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?  More

    • 100 Shares149 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Fallon Ribs Vivek Ramaswamy for Embracing Trump

      by

      “Yep, Ramaswamy took the stage and praised Trump for eight minutes,” Fallon said. “Then he was, like, ‘Wait, Donald, this is your speech. Sorry!’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Stop the Hug!’Vivek Ramaswamy dropped out of the 2024 presidential race on Monday after finishing fourth at the Iowa caucuses. The 38-year-old entrepreneur endorsed former President Donald Trump and supported him at a rally in New Hampshire on Tuesday.“Everyone was on the edge of their seat just to hear how Trump would pronounce Vivek Ramaswamy,” Jimmy Fallon said.“Yep, Ramaswamy took the stage and praised Trump for eight minutes. Then he was, like, ‘Wait, Donald, this is your speech. Sorry!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Vivek Ramaswamy announced this week that he was suspending his presidential campaign. He plans to return to his true passion, tearing down the teen rec center to build a shopping mall.” — SETH MEYERSAfter Ramaswamy ended his speech, he welcomed Trump to the stage with an awkward and lengthy embrace.“I didn’t know if they were hugging or burping each other.” — JIMMY FALLON“Stop the hug! Stop the hug!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“To be fair, that’s pretty much every embrace between a guy in his 30s and a guy in his 70s. It’s, like, ‘Hey, I don’t know what you’re doing. Are we hugging?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (I-o-wanna Edition)“The big news today is the big news from Monday. Donald Trump won the Iowa caucus with 51 percent of the vote. Iowa: apparently, short for ‘I-o-wanna live in a democracy anymore.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So the DeSantis train is steaming on to New Hampshire, where he is currently polling at 5 percent. But don’t give up, Ron, because when asked which candidate they preferred, 2 percent refused to answer. If they’re ashamed to say it out loud, that’s a DeSantis voter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“ABC and CNN decided to cancel their New Hampshire debate coverage because Trump and Nikki Haley said they would not attend. So, the good news is if you still want to hear two Republicans who will never be president argue about politics, you can always go visit your parents.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Ted Lasso” star Juno Temple talked about finding her Minnesota accent for the new season of “Fargo.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe singer-songwriter Sierra Ferrell will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutFatima Robinson, foreground, on the set of “The Color Purple,” with Fantasia Barrino-Taylor, in white, and Oprah Winfrey.Eli Adé/Warner Bros.“The Color Purple” choreographer Fatima Robinson realized a lifelong dream with her work on the new musical film adaptation of Alice Walker’s 1982 novel. More

    • 113 Shares179 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Laments Donald Trump’s Sweeping Victory in Iowa

      by

      “Even though he barely spent any time in Iowa, it somehow made voters love him more,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “It’s the same strategy he used raising Eric and Don Jr.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Yuge’ in IowaThe Iowa caucuses took place on Monday, with former President Donald Trump winning 51 percent of the vote and finishing far ahead of his Republican opponents.“If you’ve ever wondered what is the polar opposite of M.L.K. Day, it is the Iowa Republican caucus,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Tuesday.“Even though he barely spent any time in Iowa, it somehow made voters love him more. It’s the same strategy he used raising Eric and Don Jr.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump won 98 of Iowa’s 99 counties. Apparently, the 99th county got confused and voted for ‘Succession.’” — JIMMY FALLON“But Trump got 51 percent of the vote in Iowa. And even though it doesn’t mean much — you know, in 2016, Ted Cruz won the Iowa caucus, and now he lives at the bottom of an aquarium.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Experts have been saying for months that Trump would win over 50 percent of the vote. These Iowa caucuses were the political version of ‘This could have been an email.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Arctic Blitz Edition)“You know, 80 percent of the country right now is in the grip of what they call an arctic blast, which is a very dangerous weather pattern not to be confused with arctic blitz, which is a wiper fluid-colored flavor of Gatorade.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The entire country is getting hit with an arctic blast. It is so cold, in Times Square the cooks over at Bubba Gump are warming their hands in the gumbo.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today, I tipped a kid who was shoveling outside 30 Rock, and he said, ‘Thanks, Mr. Fallon.’ I said, ‘No, thank you, Mr. Ramaswamy.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s so cold, Ron DeSantis is burning books just for the heat.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingNicki Minaj took “The Colbert Questionert” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightReneé Rapp, a star in the “Mean Girls” remake and this week’s “Saturday Night Live” musical guest, will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday.Also, Check This OutJune Carter Cash, the subject of the documentary “June.”Don Hunstein/Sony Music Entertainment/Paramount+The filmmaker Kristen Vaurio leans on archival footage for “June,” her new documentary about the country music legend June Carter Cash. More

    • 113 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Finds Trump Incapable of Dealing With Facts

      by

      A judge initially denied Trump the chance to speak at his criminal fraud trial, “but, as 27 women can tell you, Trump doesn’t take no for an answer,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Stick to the FactsFormer President Donald Trump’s civil fraud trial wrapped up on Thursday. The judge initially denied Trump’s request to speak during closing arguments.“But, as 27 women can tell you, Trump doesn’t take no for an answer,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday.So when Trump’s lawyers tried one final time, the judge allowed Trump five minutes, so long as he stuck to the facts.“Yep, the judge let Trump speak on the condition that he stick to the law and facts, two things people on trial for fraud are famously great at.” — JIMMY FALLON“Before he allowed former President Trump to address the court today, Judge Arthur Engoron asked, ‘Do you promise to just comment on the facts and the law?’ Good luck. That’s like asking Jake, ‘Do you promise you won’t talk about State Farm?’” — SETH MEYERS“You’re not going to believe this: Trump said he did nothing wrong, and you know what? He’s never lied to us before, so.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The judge overseeing his civil fraud trial today allowed former President Trump to speak for five minutes after his legal team finished their closing arguments, and now he’s facing 11 more counts of fraud.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye-Bye, Belichick Edition)“After 24 seasons as head coach, Bill Belichick is leaving the New England Patriots. Yep, even though Belichick is in his 70s, the job offers are already rolling in. Today, ABC asked him to be the next ‘Grizzled Bachelor.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t know about you, but I’ll miss the way Bill Belichick’s smile lit up a room.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“My staff over here tells me that upon hearing the news, Patriots fans everywhere were absolutely deflated.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Thursday’s “Late Show,” Colman Domingo spoke with Stephen Colbert about forging relationships with friends of Bayard Rustin to better portray the civil rights leader in the Netflix biopic, “Rustin.”Also, Check This OutWhen the producers of the new late-night show “After Midnight” asked Taylor Tomlinson why she wanted the hosting job, she said she told them, “I’m kind of lonely.”Chantal Anderson for The New York TimesLike another famous Taylor, the stand-up comedian and host of the soon-to-debut “After Midnight” Taylor Tomlinson is finding life can be lonely at the top. More

    • 88 Shares119 Views

      in Television

      Stephen Colbert Prays That Trump Can Deliver

      by

      “That is a terrible idea, and please, Jesus, let it happen,” Colbert said of the former president’s initial desire to deliver his own closing argument in his fraud trial.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Give Him a ShotFormer President Donald Trump’s civil fraud trial is expected to come to a close on Thursday. Trump had intended to deliver part of the closing argument himself, but he backed down after refusing to abide by the judge’s restrictions, including that he not give “a campaign speech.”On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert noted that Trump had been saying “a lot of crazy stuff about this trial” and hoped he might “also say crazy stuff during the trial” for the late night host’s own amusement.“That is a terrible idea, and please, Jesus, let it happen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Unfortunately, this afternoon, the judge rescinded permission for Trump to give his own closing argument. Boo! I knew Justice was blind; I didn’t know she was a buzzkill.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Don’t worry, as a comedian, I immediately filed an appeal: ‘Your honor, please, that would get us through February. I mean, come on. Think about our jobs.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Just the Two of Us Edition)“There’s nobody fun left to watch. It’s like a box of Lucky Charms without the marshmallows now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on Chris Christie’s dropping out of the presidential race on Wednesday“He made this tough decision after looking at the polls and realizing it was an easy decision.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Christie is not expected to make any endorsements at this time, but the timing of this decision indicates that he’s clearing the way for Nikki Haley to take all of his voter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Of course, Chris Christie was the most high-profile and consistent critic of Trump still in the Republican primary — unlike Ron DeSantis, whose campaign slogan is ‘Ron DeSantis: Trump 2024.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yep, it all comes down to this. After tonight, it’ll become clearer who will more not be the nominee.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?  More