Late Night with Seth Meyers (TV Program)

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      Late Night Takes Stock of Trump’s Effect on the Markets

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      “In the first Trump term, it took a disease to destroy the economy,” Stephen Colbert said. “This time, he’s the disease.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Stocks Down, Measles Up’Wall Street had its worst day of 2025 on Monday, after President Trump declined to rule out the possibility that his tariffs might lead to a recession.Stephen Colbert said the clocks might have sprung forward on Sunday for daylight saving time, “but today, the stock market fall down go boom.”“The Dow Jones dropped 890 points. Now, I don’t know a lot of financial jargon, but let’s just say your 401 is not ’k,” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In the first Trump term, it took a disease to destroy the economy. This time, he’s the disease.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During a Fox News interview, President Trump declined to rule out the possibility that his economic policies could cause a recession. Trump was, like, ‘Depends if we use my economic policies from this morning or this afternoon.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s not great when the summary of your first two months in office is ‘Stocks down, measles up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“When asked by reporters yesterday aboard Air Force One about the possibility of a recession, President Trump said that his tariffs will make the U.S. ‘so rich, you’re not going to know where to spend all that money’ — unless, you know, you’re feeling like an omelet.” — SETH MEYERS“What do you want us to watch instead? [imitating Trump] ‘Maria, it’s a mistake to watch the stock market when you should be watching ‘Severance.’ What a show; it’s a great show.’” — SETH MEYERS, in response to Trump telling the Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that Americans shouldn’t watch the stock marketThe Punchiest Punchlines (Spring Forward Edition)“Well, guys, yesterday was daylight saving time, and we lost an hour of sleep. Democrats were, like, ‘An hour? We haven’t slept since November.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I tried something a little different this year. I set my clocks ahead four years. It didn’t work.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“We sprung forward. I might have pulled something. But considering the way things are going, I’ve never been more grateful to be one hour closer to the end of whatever this is.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We go forward, we go backward. It’s like living in a Christopher Nolan movie, and Matt Damon is in those — I want no part of it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingFormer Gov. Andrew Cuomo of New York was the subject of Saturday’s “Lie-Curious” segment on “Have I Got News For You.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe drag performer Trixie Mattel will appear on “After Midnight.”Also, Check This OutLady Gaga’s “Mayhem” is a bright, shiny and thoroughly sleek pop record.Arturo Holmes/Getty ImagesFor her new album, “Mayhem,” Lady Gaga mines her past for self-mythologizing nostalgia. More

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      All Signs Point to Democrats Being Hopeless, Michael Kosta Says

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      During President Trump’s speech, Democrats held “little paddles as if they were ready to give Mike Johnson a naughty little spanking,” the “Daily Show” host said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Audience ParticipationPresident Trump’s 99-minute address to Congress was still providing fodder for late-night hosts on Wednesday. Michael Kosta was unimpressed with how Democratic lawmakers chose to express their opposition.On “The Daily Show,” Kosta said the speech was “a theatrical production where everybody has a role, and they slip right into it.”“Democrats showed up in full wardrobe, dressed in pink as a symbolic protest against people who wanted them to do something meaningful.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“They came with props, too, holding up little paddles like they were ready to give Mike Johnson a naughty little spanking, huh? Either that or a pickleball match.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Trump was confused by the paddles. He was, like, ‘We’re not auctioning off Greenland until later.” — JIMMY FALLON“What turned out to be an amazing night for America coincided with the worst night for Democrats since Republicans canceled slavery.” — GREG GUTFELD“Luckily, Democrats stood up to him the only way they know how: by writing about it later in their diaries.” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON”I really love that while Trump was saying the wildest [expletive] on earth, Democrats just sat there with their little paddles. Like, you really shouldn’t stand up to fascism the same way that we play ‘Is It Cake?’” — TAYLOR TOMLINSON“It was the longest presidential address in more than 60 years. Why is it that the orchestra can play off an Oscar winner but not the president?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s speech went on so long — his speech was 10 minutes longer than ‘The Lion King.’” And had twice as much lyin’ in it. — JIMMY KIMMEL“Stayed up late last night for a live show following Donald Trump’s address to Congress, which set the record for the longest address to a joint session of Congress ever. Felt longer.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I mean, so long you couldn’t bring in DOGE to make any cuts?” — SETH MEYERS“His speech was so long, Adrien Brody played him off.” — SETH MEYERSWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Recaps Zelensky’s Casual Friday at the White House

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      “I don’t see you asking Elon Musk if he owns a suit,” Seth Meyers said of the reporter who questioned Ukraine’s president about his attire.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bad Fashion PoliceOn Friday, President Trump and Vice President JD Vance berated President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine during a tense televised meeting at the White House. Things went bad after a conservative reporter asked why Zelensky hadn’t worn a suit to the Oval Office and whether he owned one.On Monday’s “Late Night,” Seth Meyers noted that Zelensky hadn’t been the only casually dressed visitor to the White House lately: “I don’t see you asking Elon Musk if he owns a suit, even though he shows up to cabinet meetings.”“People care about the cost of groceries and health care, not whether the president of Ukraine has ever been to a Men’s Wearhouse.” — SETH MEYERS“The guy’s the leader of a country that was invaded by Russia, and you’re grilling him like a fop at a garden party: ‘I have a question — is your stylist legally blind or just farsighted?’” — SETH MEYERS“Oh, Zelensky, you’re so poor and war-torn, you’re down to one Brooks Brother.” — JON STEWART“You’re so war-torn, you’ve given up the meaningless protocols of business attire.” — JON STEWART“His nation was invaded, he’s — against all odds — held off a much bigger army for three years, and we’re like, ‘And would it kill you to smile more, dress a little nicer? You’re a beautiful country, nobody would know! Show off what you got, know what I’m talking about? Maybe some of those rare metals I’ve been hearing something about.’” — JON STEWART“This poor man. They’re bombing every hospital in his country, he’s sitting there with the half-wit fashion police talking about what he is wearing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Everyone knows Donald Trump prefers his leaders shirtless and on a horse.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ukrainian President Zelensky was criticized for what he wore to the White House meeting on Friday, but, in his defense, most suits his size come with a sailor hat and a giant lollipop.” — GREG GUTFELD“So Friday, Zelensky entered the White House in his military fatigues and left with a boot up his [expletive].” — GREG GUTFELDThe Punchiest Punchlines (Real Housewives Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Braces for the Reign of R.F.K. Jr., Health Czar

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      “Bobby Brainworm is on the job,” Jimmy Kimmel said after President Trump’s nominee for health secretary was confirmed and sworn in.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bobby BrainwormOn Thursday, the Senate confirmed Robert Kennedy Jr., known to late night viewers for his vaccine skepticism and strange encounters with animals, as the secretary of health and human services. Jimmy Kimmel urged Americans not to worry about the rise of measles now that “Bobby Brainworm is on the job.”“Mitch McConnell was the only Republican to vote no. Mitch McConnell is 82 years old. He survived polio as a kid, and thanks to R.F.K. Jr, polio might get another run at him.” — JIMMY KIMMELAfter being confirmed, Kennedy Jr. proceeded to the Oval Office “to be sworn in and to suck up,” Kimmel said. The new head of health and human services described President Trump as a “man on a white horse” sent by God.“Next, God is going to send us diphtheria.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Melania couldn’t turn him on like that the first night they met. But happy Valentine’s Day to Don and Bob.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (OMG Edition)“The Senate today confirmed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as secretary of health and human services. He was actually Trump’s second choice, but the Wuhan bat withdrew his nomination.” — SETH MEYERS“R.F.K. Jr. is now in charge of the F.D.A., N.I.H. and C.D.C., to which Americans said, ‘OMG,’ ‘WTF’ and ‘FML.’” — JIMMY FALLON“They said it couldn’t be done. Excuse me, they said it shouldn’t be done.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“But now it has happened, so you can now add ‘employment’ to the list of things he’s tested positive for.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingThe filmmaker Brady Corbet discussed his Oscar-nominated move “The Brutalist” on “The Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutSly Stone’s music, especially from the 1960s, is celebrated as sui generis polymathic synthesis and as hip-hop’s bedrock in “Sly Lives!”Stephen Paley/Sony/Onyx CollectiveQuestlove details Sly Stone’s life, career and musical legacy in a new documentary, “Sly Lives! (aka the Burden of Black Genius).” More

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      It’s Bring a Kid to Work Day on ‘The Tonight Show’

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      Elon Musk took his son to the Oval Office, so Jimmy Fallon saw no reason not to walk onstage with a child, too.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Don’t Touch My Chicken NuggetsOn Tuesday, Elon Musk brought his 4-year-old son to the Oval Office for an appearance with President Trump. So on Wednesday, Jimmy Fallon walked onto the “Tonight Show” set with a little boy on his shoulders.“Daddy has to do a monologue,” Fallon said as he let the boy down.“Elon Musk and President Trump held a press conference in the Oval Office, and they were joined by Elon’s 4-year-old son. Don Jr. was, like, ‘Wait a minute, my dad said there’s no such thing as Take Your Son to Work Day.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was looking at him like, ‘[imitating Trump] Don’t you dare touch my dinosaur chicken nuggets.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Eventually they bonded, though. While Elon was talking, they both watched an episode of ‘Bluey’ on an iPad.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, that poor kid. His dad literally runs Space X, and Elon took him to a meeting on federal spending.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (From Russia With Love Edition)“President Trump spoke today with Russian president Vladimir Putin on the phone. And, bad news, you guys, we gotta change the name of the gulf again.” — SETH MEYERS“In a post on Truth Social today, President Trump said that he spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin and discussed Ukraine, the Middle East, energy, artificial intelligence, the power of the dollar, Moo Deng, Sydney Sweeney, the return of the Shamrock Shake and this season of ‘The Traitors.’ ‘[imitating Trump] We got off track towards the end of the call. We got a little off track.’” — SETH MEYERS“President Trump said that he had a nice phone call with Vladimir Putin. Putin was like, ‘[imitating Putin] I told you I wouldn’t forget Valentine’s Day.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The only awkward part of the call was when Putin said, ‘Is the president there?’ and both Trump and Elon said, ‘Yes?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel’s sidekick Guillermo pitched his exciting new crypto venture on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightHarper Steele, the former “Saturday Night Live” writer and star (with Will Ferrell) of “Will & Harper,” will appear on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutAn undated photograph of Amy Tan, from her days in the literary-world supergroup the Rock Bottom Remainders.via Amy Tan/Bancroft Library at the University of CaliforniaThe Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley, has acquired the archives of Amy Tan, author of “The Joy Luck Club,” who’s changed her mind about having her papers destroyed posthumously. “My 22-year-old mind is thrilled: Accepted into Berkeley!” she said. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Pokes Fun at Trump’s Paper Straw Ban

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      “Listen, the fact of the matter is Trump loves plastic,” Kimmel said. “Most of his wives are made of plastic.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Most Important Stuff’On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel noted that President Trump had been signing a flurry of executive orders, often on TV. “It’s like the Jerry Lewis telethon with this guy,” he said. One presidential edict canceled a government effort to replace plastic straws with paper ones. “All day, reporters in there — he’s taking questions, having meetings, he’s tackling all the most important stuff. He did the same thing yesterday, all day. He canceled the penny, he changed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, and he finally got tough on paper straws.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, the reason we switched to those admittedly terrible paper straws in the first place is because plastic straws wind up in the ocean, and they kill marine life, which I guess is another argument Trump, a well-known hater of sharks, doesn’t buy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That degree in marine biology is really coming in handy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Listen, the fact of the matter is Trump loves plastic. Most of his wives are made of plastic.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Remember when Trump said he would make the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday? When is that executive order coming down the pike? Let’s whip out that fat little presidential Sharpie and deliver on what might be the only good thing you ever do. Do it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brotherly Love Edition)“The Philadelphia Eagles are set to hold their Super Bowl victory parade this week on Valentine’s Day in what’s being called the ultimate test for Philadelphia boyfriends. ‘[Imitating Philadelphia Eagles fan:] Babe, what if I go for just an hour or so?’” — SETH MEYERS“It’s also Valentine’s Day, so while couples will be enjoying an edible arrangement, Eagles fans will be enjoying an arrangement of edibles.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, that’s right, the Eagles’ parade is this Friday. It’s great for fans ’cause there’s no work the next day, but bad because they can’t see a judge till Monday.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJesse Eisenberg discussed his film “A Real Pain” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJon Hamm will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutSandra Bezic, Carolyn Taylor and Kurt Browning hit the ice in “I Have Nothing.”PeacockThe Canadian comedian Carolyn Tyler tries to fulfill a lifelong dream by choreographing a figure skating routine in “I Have Nothing,” a new six-part series on Peacock. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Has Doubts About Trump’s Religious Convictions

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      According to Kimmel, “MAGA Teresa” only attended the National Prayer Breakfast “because he doesn’t like it when people worship anyone other than him.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Put a Shirt On’President Trump attended the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington on Thursday. Jimmy Kimmel, who called him “MAGA Teresa,” said he only showed up “because he doesn’t like it when people worship anyone other than him.”“He covered a lot of subjects. He bragged about deporting immigrants, his war on diversity, fighting ‘transgenders’ — all the sacred teachings of Jesus.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump spoke today at the National Prayer Breakfast, in case you needed more proof that those don’t work.” — SETH MEYERS“While speaking today at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said, ‘None of us knows exactly when our time on Earth will be over.’ I don’t know, I’m thinking whenever R.F.K. Jr. gets confirmed.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump also told the audience we need to bring religion back, and who better to bring it back than the guy who sells ‘God Bless the U.S.A.’ bibles for $59.99.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of all the unbelievable things about Donald Trump, religious people believing he is also a religious person might be the toughest one to understand.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Honestly, if Trump met Jesus, he’d call him a loser, he’d tell him to get a haircut and put a shirt on.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Super Bowl LIX Edition)“Super Bowl Sunday, also known as ‘Get Drunk in a Friend of a Friend’s Weird Living Room Day,’ is imminent. Hope everyone has their friendship bracelets picked out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, between the game and the commercials, it’s going to be four straight hours of Patrick Mahomes on TV.” — JIMMY FALLON“Donald Trump will be there at the game. He said — this is fun — he said he’s going to let Elon pick the winner this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He will make history as the first sitting president to go to the Super Bowl. I think the reason Trump’s going to the Super Bowl, he can’t stand to have even one day where he’s on TV less than Taylor Swift.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Taylor Swift will also be in attendance to support her boyfriend, the Chiefs’ superstar tight end, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I saw that this year’s Super Bowl will be watched in 180 countries. Yeah, well, 179 if we take over Canada by Saturday.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Oscar-winning actor Ke Huy Quan discussed his new role in the film “Love Hurts” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIn a new installment of the franchise, Smurfette and the other Smurfs leave their village for an adventure in the live-action world.Paramount PicturesA trailer for the upcoming “Smurfs” movie features Rihanna, who’ll be the voice of Smurfette. More

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      Late Night Weighs In on the ‘World’s Dumbest Trade War’

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      Jimmy Kimmel thinks President Trump decided not to impose tariffs on Mexico because he saw the guacamole bill for his Super Bowl party.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Tariff ManPresident Trump announced new tariffs on Canada and Mexico over the weekend but agreed to pause them for 30 days on Monday.Jimmy Kimmel called Trump’s tariffs “fake,” saying he was “pretending to issue tariffs so that Canada and Mexico can pretend to bend over for him, and then it’ll look like he’s the big hero.”“He’s like a toddler negotiating nap time with his parents.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“People are wondering why Trump would start a war with our closest allies, and he was like, ‘I didn’t say anything about Russia and North Korea.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but the last people you want to upset are your upstairs and downstairs neighbors.” — JIMMY FALLON“So now, we have a one-month cease-fire in what some liberal rag called The Wall Street Journal described as ‘the dumbest trade war in history.’ To which the Dallas Mavericks said, ‘Hold my Luka Dončić.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But you do have to hand it to him. Starting the ‘world’s dumbest trade war’ is an accomplishment to add to a very long list: first of all, world’s dumbest trade war, world’s dumbest Covid response, world’s dumbest climate policy, world’s dumbest hurricane map, world’s dumbest election interference, world’s dumbest wildfire response, world’s dumbest crowd size comparison, world’s dumbest insurrection, and world’s dumbest Eric. He’s like the Michael Phelps of the world’s dumbest stuff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“No American wakes up saying, ‘Damn Canada. We should really go after Canada.’ I mean, except for Kendrick Lamar. That dude has it out for Canadian rap.” — SETH MEYERS“I just hope cooler heads prevail and the countries involved in this dumb trade war can all get back to selling each other crap as soon as possible.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tequila Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More