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      Trevor Noah Has Gun Law Ideas for New York

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      Noah says the state should propose new restrictions where “anyone can buy a gun if they want, but the gun stores are only open on the nights that the Knicks win.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.And You Get a Gun! And You Get a Gun!The U.S. Supreme Court issued a major ruling on Thursday, striking down a New York State gun law that allowed residents a conceal and carry permit only if they demonstrated a special need.Trevor Noah said the ruling “makes complete sense — because that would be making the militia well regulated, and I mean, you can’t do that, you know? It’s not like it’s written anywhere.”“You can see where this is going. This Supreme Court is feeling themselves, huh? Because you realize they finally have all the justices they need to do anything they want. It’s like Amy Coney Barrett was the last infinity stone that they needed. Yeah, they put it in, and now they’re just snapping away at all the laws. It’s like voting rights, gun control, Miranda rights, abortion. I love this song, yeah!” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, I don’t know about you guys, whenever I’ve been sitting in rush-hour traffic in New York with drivers screaming at each other and bikers cussing out the drivers and pedestrians wailing at the bikers and the drivers, the one thing I always think is, ‘Man, one thing that would calm this down is if everyone had a gun right now. Just a Glock or two would really chill the situation out.’” — TREVOR NOAH“So this is obviously a big setback for gun safety. But if you ask me, New York just needs to get creative. Yeah, they need to think outside of the box, the same way that Texas did, right? Look at what Texas did with banning abortion — they weren’t allowed to ban it, so they just made a crazy new law that basically banned it anyway. That’s what New York needs to do with guns. Like, yeah, they should say, ‘OK, anyone can buy a gun if they want, but the gun stores are only open on the nights that the Knicks win.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Gun Show Edition)“The Supreme Court today issued several rulings, including one that overturns a New York State gun law restricting concealed weapons. So move over, tourists! Seriously, move over, ’cuz you’re gonna get shot.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, the Supreme Court overturned a New York law — a New York State gun law restricting concealed weapons. ’Cuz you know how sometimes you’ll be on the F train in August and there’s no A.C. and then it stops in the middle of the tunnel and the conductor doesn’t announce anything and you think to yourself, ‘Man, I wish we all had guns.’” — SETH MEYERS“Basically, New York had a law for the past 100 years that said if you want to just carry a gun around with you wherever you go, you need to prove that you have a specific reason you need that gun, you know, for your protection. You have to go to the police, you have to tell them, explain the whole thing. Maybe someone is making threats against you, or maybe you’re Liam Neeson’s daughter and people keep trying to kidnap you, even though it seems like it would be way easier to kidnap someone else’s daughter at this point.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee shot this week’s “Full Frontal” while she had Covid, saying the news of a potential abortion ban was important enough to power through.Also, Check This OutAustin Butler as Elvis Presley in “Elvis,” directed by Baz Luhrmann. The soundtrack shakes up the expected playlist, and offers the strongest argument for Presley’s relevance.Warner Bros.Austin Butler plays Elvis Presley in Baz Luhrmann’s operatic, chaotic anti-biopic, “Elvis.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Taunts Ron Johnson for Faking It

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      Colbert said that the Wisconsin senator tried to avoid talking to reporters after Tuesday’s Jan. 6 hearing, “but like most things, he’s not very good at that.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bad FakeTuesday’s Jan. 6 hearings presented evidence suggesting that Senator Ron Johnson sought to hand-deliver fake elector votes from Michigan and his home state of Wisconsin to then-Vice President Mike Pence. Johnson acknowledged receiving the package but claimed he had no idea where it came from or what it contained.“It could have been anything in that envelope — he doesn’t care. Fake electors, angry bees, naked pictures of Mary Todd Lincoln. It don’t matter to Ron — he’s just a delivery boy,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday.“You know those announcements in the airport when they say, ‘Do not carry onto the flight a package for someone you don’t know’? I’ve always wondered who those announcements are for. Turns out, it’s Ron Johnson.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During yesterday’s hearing on the Capitol attack, committee members showed texts that indicated Republican Senator Ron Johnson wanted to hand-deliver a list of fake electors for then-Vice President Mike Pence to introduce on Jan. 6. You sent that over text? How do you send bribes — Venmo?” — SETH MEYERS“When this came out, Johnson tried to avoid talking to reporters, but like most things, he’s not very good at that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Everyone knows you put the phone on the same side as the reporter — that’s scam artistry 101.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Farewell to Juul Edition)“Finally, if you are one of those people who regularly likes to vape, first of all, congratulations on being basic, and second of all, you might want to stock up because your supply is about to run out.” — TREVOR NOAH“The F.D.A. just announced that they are banning all Juul e-cigarettes in the U.S. Yeah, no more Juul. No more Juul. That will explain tomorrow when you see a bunch of your co-workers sucking on a Glade plug-in.” — JIMMY FALLON“But this is a big move by the F.D.A., because you realize Juul is the iconic vaping brand. So by them doing this, it is like going after soda by banning Coke, or going after coke by banning Don Jr.” — TREVOR NOAH“It’s a big deal because if they also ban fedoras, your old college roommate is going to have a nervous breakdown.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s a tough day for everyone who loves ingesting chemicals, you know what I’m saying? Can’t even huff gas anymore — it’s too expensive.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” the guest host, Sean Hayes, revealed he was an original cast member of the hit Netflix show “Ozark” and shared scenes from the cutting-room floor.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightEvan Rachel Wood will appear on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutFrom left: Naomi McPherson, Josette Maskin and Katie Gavin of Muna. The band’s third album, “Muna,” moves in more pop-influenced directions.Tonje Thilesen for The New York TimesThe Indie-pop group Muna is back with a self-titled third album and a new label boss: Phoebe Bridgers. More

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      Late Night Delves Into Day 3 of the Jan. 6 Hearings

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      Trevor Noah joked that Donald Trump “lives his entire life as if he is the bad kid in one of those antismoking P.S.A.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Peer Pressuring Mike PenceThe Jan. 6 committee hearings continued on Thursday, focusing largely on Donald Trump’s attempts to persuade Mike Pence to overturn the election.Trevor Noah joked that such peer pressure was on brand for Trump, who “lives his entire life as if he’s the bad kid in one of those antismoking P.S.A.”“Like, [imitating Trump] ‘Come on, Mike, just try overturning the election. I thought you wanted to be cool.’ Also, by the way, if there is one person who you can’t entice with cool, it’s Mike Pence. He’s the least cool man in the world. The man won’t even watch the Teletubbies because they don’t wear pants.” — TREVOR NOAH“Trump and Pence have reportedly not spoken since last summer. I guess they haven’t really been hanging since the attempted hanging.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And this is what we learned: All the lawyers knew that overturning the election was a crime. They all told each other that they knew it was a crime. They all told everybody in the White House it was a crime, including the president. They told him, ‘Sir, it’s a crime’ and he said, ‘Thank you for clearing that up. Now, let’s go do that crime.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Some of the crimes — some of the crimes described today were procedural and constitutional — a little light sedition among friends. Some of them were more straightforward, like, what’s the word? Trying to murder Mike Pence.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Covid Finally Caught Up to Fauci Edition)“Dr. Anthony Fauci tested positive yesterday for a breakthrough case of the coronavirus. Wow, Fauci is like Covid’s final boss. This is — this is like hearing that the coyote caught the roadrunner.” — SETH MEYERS“Also, you caught it now? You made it through all that time in the maskless Trump White House and you caught it now? That’s like running a triathlon with no problems and then throwing your back out petting a dog.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Dr. Fauci has Covid, which feels a little like finding out Smokey Bear got trapped in a forest fire.” — TREVOR NOAH“I will say though, what a big moment for Covid as well, huh? To finally infect Dr. Anthony Fauci? I bet Covid was really star-struck when it got in his body.” — TREVOR NOAH“And you know the saddest part, Dr. Fauci, and yes I’m talking to you, Dr. Fauci, I know you watch the show, is the fact that you didn’t come to the White House Correspondents Dinner, yeah. The president was there, Kim Kardashian was there, but you didn’t come because you said you didn’t want to catch Covid and then you caught Covid anyway. Yeah, probably from some boring government meeting.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingTom Hanks and Stephen Colbert posed as TikTok dads delivering a lecture on social media use.Also, Check This OutDaryl McCormack and Emma Thompson in “Good Luck to You, Leo Grande.”Searchlight PicturesThe accomplished actress Emma Thompson bares all in her new movie, “Good Luck to You, Leo Grande.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Proud to Upset Joseph Biggs of the Proud Boys

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      The lawyer for the Jan. 6 defendant said his client can’t get a fair trial based on “negative” media coverage by the likes of “The Late Show.” “I feel so seen,” Colbert said. “You hate me, you really hate me!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Proud to Be BadThe lawyer for Joseph Biggs, a Jan. 6 defendant and Proud Boys leader, argued that his client cannot receive a fair trial in the United States, due in part to “increased and unquestionably spectacular 24/7 negative press and media coverage” of the group, specifically citing Stephen Colbert and “The Late Show.”“You know, ladies and gentlemen, I do a lot of jokes about these violent fascists, but to hear that even one of them noticed?” Colbert said on Wednesday, pretending to choke up. “I feel so seen. You hate me, you really hate me!”“Biggs’ attorney argues that they need to move his trial because shows like mine ‘continue to saturate the jury pool of media-obsessive Washington D.C.’ They want to move the trial to someplace where the Proud Boys have a better reputation, like 1930s Berlin.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Of course, after we got the shoutout, the article says Newsweek contacted Colbert’s representatives for comment: [imitating Newsweek reporter] ‘Well, Mr. Colbert, do you have a comment?’ Why, thank you, Steve, I do. ‘Want to share it with the people?’ Certainly. while this is a very high-profile case, in our system of justice, the accused is innocent until proven guilty. So I want everyone in the potential jury pool to hear me when I say, ‘You are going to jail, you neo-numbnut! And if you don’t like it — and if you don’t like it, you can come and get me. My name is Joe Scarborough, and I love coffee! Welcome to the monkey house, brother.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Love, Joe Edition)“According to a new poll, President Biden’s approval rating is at 40 percent. Meaning that his approval rating is the only thing inflation hasn’t touched.” — SETH MEYERS“President Biden sent a letter today to oil companies and called on them to produce more in order to alleviate high prices. So if you needed more proof that he’s an old man, he still thinks you can get things done with a letter.” — SETH MEYERS“Mr. President, I think we’re past the pen pal stage.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The K-pop group BTS announced yesterday that they are going on an indefinite hiatus. Said President Biden, ‘Aw man, they’re gonna blame me for this, too!’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingFormer President Bill Clinton sat down to talk about gun violence with James Corden on Wednesday night’s “Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe hip-hop artist 070 Shake will perform on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutRaphaelle MacaronLeïla Slimani, winner of the Goncourt Prize, France’s top literary award, describes her Paris and recommends books that reveal hidden facets of the city. More

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      Trevor Noah Tricks His Audience Into Singing ‘Happy Birthday’ for Trump

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      After the boos ceased, Noah joked that “the haters can’t even give the poor man a day off.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Birthday WishesDonald Trump turned 76 on Tuesday, and Trevor Noah tricked his “Daily Show” audience into singing “Happy Birthday” to the former president before saying whom they were signing it for. After the boos ceased, he remarked that “the haters can’t even give the poor man a day off.”“All week long the Jan. 6 committee has been riding his ass just because he tried to overthrow the government. And now — and now — they’re even accusing him of fraud, just because he asked his supporters for money to set up an election defense fund and didn’t set up an election defense fund,” Noah said.“Former President Trump turned 76 today, so now he’s really asking everyone to stop the count.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, today was former President Donald Trump’s 76th birthday. Pretty impressive — 76 and he can still get an insurrection.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump took some of the money he said he’s going to use to fight election fraud and paid his son’s fiancée $60,000 for a two-minute introduction speech, which is such a scam, I don’t care what anyone says. That’s an even bigger scam than tai chi. Yeah, oh I’m sorry who are you going to fight, an army of slow butterflies?” — TREVOR NOAH“They also skimmed off over $200,000 for the former president’s hotels — and that was just Giuliani’s bar tab.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During yesterday’s congressional hearing, it was revealed that Donald Trump Jr.’s fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle, was paid $60,000 to speak at the rally before the Capitol attack. Well, technically, $20,000 to speak and then $40,000 to please stop.” — SETH MEYERS“This does prove that Donald Trump is a proud feminist ally. Yeah, that’s right, I said it. Everyone’s always complaining women get paid less for more work, but Trump, no, he is doing everything to close the wage gap. He paid Kimberly Guilfoyle for two minutes’ work. He paid Stormy Daniels for two minutes’ of work. Yeah, Trump isn’t breaking the law, he is breaking the glass ceiling.” — TREVOR NOAH“So he duped $250 million from his most passionate supporters and then watched as they all go to prison while he sat in Mar-a-Lago double-fisting coconut shrimp. And these aren’t wealthy people. You can always tell when they’re wearing nothing but giveaway merch from the losing team.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“As much as people want to be angry at Donald Trump, I feel like this is one of the instances where he is the black light on America’s democracy. Because he didn’t invent this scam — politicians from every party use their campaign funds to enrich their friends, it’s just Trump does it so egregiously that everyone notices it. All politicians are, like, ‘Donate, it’s for the fund, but nobody looks where the money goes. Yeah, it’s just something you pay attention to because of how he does it. It’s the same way all of us have eaten a grape or two at the grocery store, but Trump’s the guy who walks into Whole Foods with a fork and knife, you know? He’s like [imitating Trump] ‘You guys have the best raw chicken. So good. So good.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sobering Advice Edition)“Rudy Giuliani is firing back on reports from the Jan. 6 hearings that he was inebriated on election night. He tweeted, ‘I refused all alcohol that evening. My favorite drink … Diet Pepsi.’ So, just to be clear, Rudy’s defense is that he gave the dumbest, most unethical advice in the history of America while stone-cold sober, got it.” — JAMES CORDEN“It can be very hard to tell, because sometimes he’s drunk, and sometimes he’s pretending he’s not.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“What an endorsement that is. You just know the people at Pepsi were like ‘Uh, he must mean Diet Coke. He means Coca-Cola, right? You mean Coca-Cola? Any brand of cola, really, RC Cola, Shasta, maybe a generic grocery store brand cola.’“ — JAMES CORDEN“[imitating Giuliani ] I love Diet Pepsi, especially a robust, red Diet Pepsi, or, in the summer, a diet Pepsi rosé. I also enjoy boxed Diet Pepsi.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingDakota Johnson played a game of “Mad Lib Karaoke” with Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightPhoebe Bridgers will perform on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutThe actor Cheech Marin.Carlos Jaramillo for The New York TimesThe personal art collection of the actor Cheech Marin now has a public home at the Cheech Marin Center for Chicano Art and Culture in Riverside, Calif. More

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      Late Night Blames It on the Alcohol

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      Rudy Giuliani’s intoxication on election night was the focus of Monday’s Jan. 6 hearings and late-night monologues.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.How Could They Tell?During the House committee hearing Monday on the Jan. 6 assault on the Capitol, Jason Miller, former aide to Donald Trump, told the panel that Rudy Giuliani was “definitely intoxicated” on election night when he told the former president that the election had been stolen.“You know, when you think about it, it makes sense that Trump would listen to a drunk person, because that’s the one time people probably sound like him,” Trevor Noah said.“The House committee investigating the Capitol attack today held its second public hearing. They weren’t going to, but then Rudy Giuliani said, ‘Make it a double!’” — SETH MEYERS“So we’re just going to blame this entire thing on the alcohol?” — JAMES CORDEN“Yeah, according to a former Trump aide, Rudy Giuliani was wasted on election night when he told Trump that the election was stolen from him. And I am just curious about how you even know when Rudy Giuliani is drunk. No, because when a normal person is drunk, they say crazy things, they yell, they sweat a lot. So how does that work with Rudy — does it work in reverse? Does he start talking normally, his hair dye sucks back into his hair? How does it work?” — TREVOR NOAH“They were all telling him, ‘You lost this election, sir,’ but Trump was like: ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever. Drunk vampire, what do you think?’” — TREVOR NOAH“It’s a bit of a leading question. They followed up by asking, ‘Do you notice anyone that night who was maybe farting while leaking hair dye and ranting in front of a dildo shop? Anyone like that? Could be anyone. Take your time — think back.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Miller’s being asked if anyone was drunk on election night.“It’s so funny to me how in all these depositions, Trump aides are all hemming and hawing, pausing and taking their time to use the most precise legal language possible because they’re under oath, but then as soon as someone asks, ‘Was anyone drunk at the White House?’ they all immediately buzz in like the overeager uncle on ‘Family Feud’: ‘Rudy! It was Rudy!’” — SETH MEYERS“Let me help you out here. There are five levels of intoxication on the Rudy breathalyzer: over the legal limit, rooting around the dumpster for empties, rooting around in his pants in ‘Borat,’ planning coup in a blackout and ‘The Masked Singer.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I can’t believe this. A drunk Rudy Giuliani told Trump to claim he won the election. And then he said, ‘I love you, man’ six times and dropped his phone in the toilet.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Reality Show Ratings Edition)“Today was Episode 2 of the hot new reality show ‘The Jan. 6 Committee Hearings.’ We’re all waiting to find out if the former president gets to go to the fantasy suite with Lady Justice. She’s blind, so he’s got a shot.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Episode 1 was a huge hit, because at least 20 million people watched Thursday’s hearing. We were live, OK? That’s the kind of audience usually reserved for ‘Sunday Night Football.’ Makes sense because Thursday’s hearing featured even more guys with brain damage.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“For the first hearing on Thursday, over 20 million people tuned in, which is higher than this year’s N.B.A. finals. Trump was torn — he didn’t know whether to worry about the hearing or brag about the ratings.” — JIMMY FALLON“Fox News today also aired coverage of the House Jan. 6 committee’s second hearing. Said viewers: ‘Babe! I’m on TV!’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth Watching“Jimmy Kimmel Live” hosted another segment of “Mean Tweets” featuring N.B.A. players like Andre Drummond and Russell Westbrook on Monday’s show.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightBonnie Raitt will perform on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJennifer Hudson accepting a Grammy in 2009.Lucy Nicholson/ReutersJennifer Hudson, a producer of “A Strange Loop,” became an EGOT on Sunday when the musical won big at this year’s Tony Awards. More

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      Stephen Colbert Recaps Jan. 6 Hearings’ ‘Episode One’

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      He called the prime time congressional hearings “this summer’s most compelling drama.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The First EpisodeLate night hosts weighed in on the first Jan. 6 hearing on Thursday night, or as Stephen Colbert referred to it, “Episode One of this summer’s most compelling drama.”“It’s like ‘Stranger Things’ — we met the monster years ago, and we’re pretty sure the Russians are involved.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Well, guys, we had a great lead-in tonight. We’re following the Jan. 6 hearing, so, you guys ready for some comedy?” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, earlier tonight, Congress held the first public hearing on the Jan. 6 attack, and it aired in prime time across all major networks. Yep. The footage is rough to get through. Right after the hearing, I watched an episode of ‘Dateline’ just to lighten the mood.” — JIMMY FALLON“Five minutes in, even Mike Pence was like, ‘I’ve had enough — let’s see what’s happening on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race.’” — JIMMY FALLON“After two hours of documentary evidence and testimony, we learned that this insurrectionist conspiracy was, like everything else associated with that last administration, exactly what you thought, but worse than you could have imagined. The next episode drops on Monday morning, and to quote the former president, ‘Be there. Will be wild.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bad News Edition)“It was such a juicy burger that Fox News knew that even their viewers would be tempted to take a bite, which is why — and this is true — for the first hour of his show opposite the hearings, Tucker Carlson took no commercial breaks. Do you understand what that means? Fox News is willing to lose money to keep their viewers from flipping over and accidentally learning information.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, the Jan. 6 committee aired a 90-minute hearing tonight, which was carried live by all the major news networks except Fox News. Though Fox ended up with better ratings by just airing the original Capitol attack.” — SETH MEYERS“Instead, they’re showing reruns of Jan. 6 with a laugh track.” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course Fox isn’t airing it — they’re a key suspect in it. They would be — that would be like if Court TV’s coverage of the O.J. trial had been hosted by O.J.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee took Republicans to task for the gun violence epidemic on this week’s “Full Frontal.”Also, Check This OutMembers of the Jane Collective, an activist group that helped provide safe abortions in the years before Roe v. Wade.HBOHBO’s new documentary “The Janes” spotlights the women activists who banded together to form Jane, a clandestine group providing safe abortions in the years before Roe v. Wade. More

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      Stephen Colbert Will Go Live After Jan. 6 Hearings

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      “They are destined to go down in the annals of live TV like the Watergate hearings, the moon landing, and the time Walter Cronkite was swallowed by a python,” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not Too ProudStephen Colbert announced that “The Late Show” will go live on Thursday night after the prime-time Jan. 6 committee hearings.“They are destined to go down in the annals of live TV,” Colbert said on Tuesday, “like the Watergate hearings, the moon landing, and the time Walter Cronkite was swallowed by a python.”“Now, here’s the deal: all the major news outfits — CBS, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, CNN — will be covering the hearings live, while the Fox News Channel will stay with its usual prime-time lineup. Well, that’s actually good. No, it’s actually good. We’ll hear directly from the people who planned the coup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The Proud Boys are going to be prominently featured during the live hearings on Thursday, because the committee intends to present live testimony from a British documentarian who was filming the group, with their permission, during the riot. Why do you let a film crew follow you while you commit treason? Well, same reason Benedict Arnold commissioned that painting of him handing over the plans.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’ve got to tell you, seeing those guys arrested makes this boy proud.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, if you’re not familiar with the Proud Boys, that sounds lovely. But as a refresher, they’re a far-right, anti-immigrant, all-male group who take their name from an obscure show tune from the Disney musical ‘Aladdin’ entitled ‘Proud of Your Boy.’ It was actually their second Disney song choice. Originally, they were the Supercalifragilisticexpiali-douchebags.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Going to the Dogs Edition)“According to a new study, dogs are more effective at detecting Covid than rapid tests. I’m glad we’ve reached the point in the pandemic where the C.D.C. is like, ‘I don’t know, dogs?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Knowing the C.D.C., in two days, they’re going to be like, ‘Never mind, it’s actually rabbits, I’m sorry.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Seriously, I have no idea what’s going on. Today, I saw Sarah McLachlan snuggling a person with Covid asking pets to help.” — JIMMY FALLON“Here’s how it works with dogs: If you have symptoms, they sniff your crotch. One hump — one hump means you’re negative, two humps means you’re positive.” — JIMMY FALLON“Apparently, dogs are better at detecting Covid than rapid tests, which explains now when you take an at-home test, the instructions look a little different. Yeah, now the steps are: ‘One, open package. Two, remove at-home Covid test. Three, walk and feed at-home Covid test.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers went day drinking with Post Malone on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”What We’re Excited About Wednesday NightPresident Biden will visit “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday.Also, Check This OutCustomers in Bookmongers of Brixton, a book store in London. Apps have struggled to reproduce the kind of real-world serendipity that puts a book in a reader’s hand.Tom Jamieson for The New York TimesNew apps like Tertulia are helping avid readers discover new books. More