Late Night with Seth Meyers (TV Program)

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      Late Night Recaps Donald Trump’s Return to Capitol Hill

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      “They always return to the scene of the crime,” Jimmy Kimmel said after the former president met with House Republicans on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Scene of the CrimeDonald Trump returned to Capitol Hill on Thursday, his first visit there since the Jan. 6 riot. House Republicans sang an early “Happy Birthday” for the former president, who turned 78 on Friday.“They always return to the scene of the crime,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.“Some Republicans who were in the room described the meeting as a ‘gripe-filled’ airing of legal and personal grievances. That sounds right.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The meeting itself, according to sources, took place at an undisclosed location, which means any of the five McDonald’s within a 10-minute radius of the Hill.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“One of the things he’s upset about, he talked about at this meeting, is Taylor Swift supporting Joe Biden. He said, ‘Why would she endorse this dope?’ And they were like, ‘I don’t know, why did we endorse this dope?’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Birthday Edition)“They sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to him? They’re not waiters at a TGI Fridays. Isn’t that embarrassing for everybody involved? A room of adults wearing suits saying, ‘Let’s discuss our agenda to dismantle the regulations that protect our environment, but, first, who’s the big boy getting a year older?’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Seriously, do you people have no shame? It’s the guy’s first public visit since he sicced a mob on you and almost got you killed, and not only are you welcoming him back with open arms, you’re singing him ‘Happy Birthday’ a day before his birthday? This is like if all the teens at Crystal Lake got together to throw a surprise party for Jason: ‘We got you a new chain saw.’” — SETH MEYERS“And the worst part is that Ted Cruz sang it sexy like Marilyn Monroe.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Trump’s birthday should be fun. The last time people gathered to say ‘Are you 1? Are you 2? Are you 3?’ they were counting guilty verdicts.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe singer and actress Maya Hawke discussed her third album, “Chaos Angel,” and her voice acting role as Anxiety in “Inside Out 2,” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutEmilio Estevez, left, and Andrew McCarthy discuss the Brat Pack in “Brats,” a documentary directed by McCarthy.ABC News StudiosThe actor and director Andrew McCarthy examines his life and career as a member of the Brat Pack in his new documentary, “Brats.” More

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      Jimmy Fallon Tracks Biden’s Summer Abroad

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      “Yeah, the president is in Italy for the G7 Summit, or as Fox News put it: ‘Biden Flees Country After Hunter Convicted,’” Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Biden’s European VacationPresident Biden landed in Italy on Wednesday for the G7 Summit, his second trip to Europe in a week.“He went to France last week, now he’s off to Italy,” Jimmy Fallon said. “Biden’s like your friend who is somehow posting pics from Europe all summer.”“His staff wants to make sure he’s as jet-lagged as possible for the first presidential debate.” — JIMMY FALLON“Usually when an 81-year-old does that much traveling through Europe, it’s on a Viking river cruise.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, the president is in Italy for the G7 Summit, or as Fox News put it: ‘Biden Flees Country After Hunter Convicted.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Impossible Edition)“A guy named Joey Chestnut — he has the world record for eating 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes — has been banned from the competition this year because he signed an endorsement deal with a vegan meat company, which in and of itself is insane. It’s like if Cookie Monster signed a deal with celery.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was announced yesterday that Joey Chestnut will not compete in this year’s Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest because he has a deal with the vegan food company Impossible Foods. Incidentally, his record for those is still just one.” — SETH MEYERS“This is like barring LeBron James from basketball or Aaron Rodgers from podcasting.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Ugh, come on, Nathan’s! You’re going to ban Joey Chestnut just for taking a sponsorship deal? He’s got a family to feed — and feed and feed and feed.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“But Joey Chestnut said he’s ‘gutted’ by the decision, and his fans are furious. And it’s disappointing, for sure. The good news is for Joey, he might not die quite as soon. He might actually live through the Fifth of July this year.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian Tiffany Haddish made a case for getting arrested only in Beverly Hills on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightBowen Yang and Matt Rogers of the Las Culturistas podcast will sit down with Seth Meyers on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe choreographer Ashley R.T. Yergens said he was surprised by wanting a baby: “I’m like, You are on testosterone,” he said. “You have been in normal male range for years now. What is this biological urge?”Jeanette Spicer for The New York TimesPremiering at New York Live Arts this week, Ashley R.T. Yergens’s “Surrogate” explores how trans men experience pregnancy and I.V.F. More

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      Late Night Riffs on Hunter Biden’s Guilty Verdict

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      “Wow, frankly, I’m shocked — we’re actually enforcing gun laws in America,” Jordan Klepper said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Check Out These GunsHunter Biden was convicted on three counts tied to a 2018 handgun purchase on Tuesday.On “The Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper referred to President Joe Biden’s son as “one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds in American history.”“He’s gotten away with being Joe Biden’s son for years, but today he faced Delaware justice.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Wow, frankly, I’m shocked — we’re actually enforcing gun laws in America.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“What has been wild is watching how eager Republicans have been to hold a gun owner accountable. Of course, it’s only because he’s Joe Biden’s son, but that’s an opportunity: All we need is for Joe Biden to adopt every single person in America, and we can finally have some responsible gun control in this country.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Gun Show Edition)“Hunter Biden was found guilty today on all counts in his federal gun trial and now faces up to 25 years on ‘Hannity.’” — SETH MEYERS“Evidently, in America, there is a wrong way to buy a gun.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He was found guilty on all three counts. His father did a terrible job of rigging this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Hunter was convicted on three felony gun charges, which means he’s now only 31 felonies away from being the Republican nominee for President.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump heard and was, like, ‘I’ve always said our legal system is fair and just.’” — JIMMY FALLON“What was Hunter guilty of — lying about being on drugs while buying a gun? I mean, when did that become a crime?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJulia Louis-Dreyfus joined Seth Meyers for another installment of day drinking on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe pop singer Tinashe will perform her hit single “Nasty” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe Bluestockings Cooperative bookstore in New York City provides, among other free services, food to homeless people and English lessons to asylum seekers.Hiroko Masuike/The New York TimesFrom Los Angeles to Baltimore, bookstores with a social mission are finding success as collective-run community spaces after the pandemic. More

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      Late Night Rips Trump’s First Meeting With Probation Officer

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      “Things got off to a rough start when Trump offered the probation officer $130,000,” Jimmy Fallon joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.First ImpressionsOn Monday, former President Donald Trump met with his New York probation officer for the first time after his conviction last month.“Things got off to a rough start when Trump offered the probation officer $130,000,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“Unlike the vast majority of felons out there, Trump was allowed to do his interview at Mar-a-Lago over a video conference call. Must make the mandatory drug test kind of difficult — hard to get the pee right into the USB port.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump met with his probation officer over Zoom, which was great because Trump’s lawyer could hit mute whenever he started talking.” — JIMMY FALLON“Let’s make something clear: If a probation officer is basing their sentencing guidelines on remorse, mental state and character, and the recommendation is a day less than 1,000 years, Donald Trump is getting off easy. And if the probation officer meets with Trump and their takeaway is, ‘He seemed really sorry, supersharp and an all-around good person,’ that should be their last day at work.” — SETH MEYERS“The final probation report will remain sealed, but one thing probation folks usually ask convicts is about their employment. [imitating probation officer] ‘OK, Mr. Trump, it says here you got fired from your last job for being, uh, terrible at it and for — is this correct? This is right here — and for trying to kill a Mr. Mike Pence? Oh, but I see down here you are actually currently applying for a new job, which is the same job. OK. Have you thought about learning to code?’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Hot in Vegas Edition)“Former President Trump held an outdoor rally yesterday in Las Vegas, and temperatures exceeded 100 degrees. It was so bad, Trump began exhibiting symptoms of heat stroke 10 years ago.” — SETH MEYERS“It was, by his own report, 110 degrees, so, naturally, Trump held an outdoor rally at noon.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Teases Trump for His Criteria for a Running Mate

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      “He likes people who are rich and have hot wives,” Fallon said. “Well, at least he’s taking this seriously.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Real Hot Wives of Trump’s V.P. PicksLate night hosts reacted to reports that former President Donald Trump is vetting four potential running mates as he attempts to regain the nation’s highest office.Jimmy Fallon wished the hopefuls luck on Thursday, saying, “It’s like signing up to be the babysitter in ‘The Exorcist.’”“Yeah, the chance to be Trump’s V.P. Right now, people are, like, ‘What should I wear to my interview — antlers or bigger antlers?” — JIMMY FALLON“You’ve got to appreciate the irony of a convicted felon running a background check.” — JIMMY FALLON“My question is, what can they possibly dig up that would be a red flag for Trump? It’s like [imitating Trump] ‘This person only committed arson — not a deal-breaker.’” — JIMMY FALLON“One source said that Trump’s V.P. pick could be influenced by the fact that he likes people who are rich and have hot wives. Well, at least he’s taking this seriously.” — JIMMY FALLON“Anyway, don’t be surprised when you hear him say, ‘Please welcome my new V.P., Jelly Roll!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (D-Day Edition)“Eighty years ago on this day, American, British and Canadian troops stormed the beaches of Normandy to fight the forces of good people on both sides.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“While speaking today at the 80th anniversary of D-Day, President Biden removed his aviator sunglasses and said, ‘Hitler and those with him thought democracies were weak.’ Oh, man, you know he’s mad when he takes off his shades. I would not want to be Hitler right now.” — SETH MEYERS“And don’t forget — and this is true — Joe Biden was actually alive back when D-Day happened. And I’m pretty sure when A-Day, B-Day and C-Day happened, too.” — RONNY CHIENG“Once again, these vets did an incredible service to their nation — they made Joe Biden look young.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Donald Trump in 2018 infamously opted not to visit the graves of American soldiers in France because he didn’t want to get his hair wet, and, also, he called them suckers and losers. That’s not a joke, even though the only thing that he ever stormed was Daniels.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel’s sidekick, Guillermo Rodriguez, interviewed members of the Boston Celtics and Dallas Mavericks before the start of the N.B.A. finals.Also, Check This OutDolly Parton has been working on the musical for about a decade.Nina Prommer/EPA, via ShutterstockA new Broadway musical based on the life of Dolly Parton will debut on Broadway in 2026. More

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      Stephen Colbert Calls the Focus on Biden’s Age Old News

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      “You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Colbert said of a Wall Street Journal article on the president’s aptitude.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Old NewsThe Wall Street Journal published an article about the president this week with the headline: “Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.”“You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Stephen Colbert said. “Which, of course, could disqualify him from being president. After all, being old is a felony.”“Pretty sure one of these guys had a bunch of felonies. Oh, it’s the other guy? Thirty-four? And he’s old, too?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday titled ‘Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.’ Yeah, we know. Sometimes he doesn’t even make it to the door.” — SETH MEYERS“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday that claims President Biden appears to be slipping in private meetings. He keeps saying crazy stuff that makes no sense like, ‘a convicted felon is beating me in the polls.’” — SETH MEYERS“This blockbuster lid-blower-offer also included this little nugget explaining that Biden is someone who has both good moments and bad ones, in a clear contrast with his opponent, who only has bad ones.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Still, I am confident that The Wall Street Journal knows ‘Old Man is Old’ is breaking news, but I’m sure they will balance that perspective in their article about their 93-year-old boss Rupert Murdoch’s wedding: ‘Young Buck Ready to [Expletive].’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Boeing in Space Edition)“The first-ever manned flight of the Boeing Starliner spacecraft launched today after multiple delays, with a pair of NASA astronauts onboard. Boeing seems to have trouble getting to Cincinnati. I don’t know, should they be going — should they be heading into space? I don’t know. They put extra duct tape on the doors just to be safe.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They were aiming for Cleveland, but, still, good for them.” — JIMMY FALLON“Imagine being surrounded by bags of urine and then hearing ‘Don’t worry, there’s a Boeing on the way to help.’” — JIMMY FALLON, on the Starliner delivering a new urine processing pump to the space station to replace a broken one“Seriously, you thought it was rough when you forgot to change the filter on your Brita.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’ll tell you, that definitely isn’t on the list of activities at space camp.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I had no idea being an astronaut was so glamorous.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian Joel Kim Booster remembered the first time he met Ronny Chieng on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe comedian and “Stress Positions” star John Early will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutJulia Fox.Miguel Medina/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images.The actress, writer and New York icon Julia Fox dished on being an “It Girl” for the latest episode of Popcast. More

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      Late Night Reacts to President Biden’s Mexican Border Closure

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      “The Daily Show” host Ronny Chieng joked that the president “has decided to start trying to win the election” with a temporary order affecting asylum seekers.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Access DeniedPresident Biden issued a temporary order to shut down the Southern border to asylum seekers on Tuesday in an attempt to prevent migrants from crossing into the country.“The Daily Show” host Ronny Chieng said that the president “has decided to start trying to win the election,” with border security as one of his “biggest weaknesses.”“It’s why he tried to make a border deal with Republicans earlier this year. It’s also why Republicans refused to make a deal with him. They’re like, ‘How can we blame you for this if you fix it, you idiot? So now with his polls tanking five months before Election Day, Biden is finally saying ‘[Expletive] it, I’ll just do it myself.” — RONNY CHIENG“It’s not very popular to have no control over who immigrates to your country, OK? Just ask the Native Americans.” — RONNY CHIENG“Hey, I get it, dude, but if you don’t want people to come, like, maybe stop saying how awesome America is. ‘It’s the best; you can’t come!’” — RONNY CHIENG“But if you’re really upset about this, don’t worry — like everything else Biden does, it’ll probably get knocked down by the Supreme Court. So, if America really wants to lock down the Southern border, they should put Ticketmaster in charge of it, OK? These guys are the best at making sure nobody can actually get into the thing they want to, OK? Everyone will be waiting on the queue for three hours. Yeah, and then they find out that America’s already sold out.” — RONNY CHIENGThe Punchiest Punchlines (Immediate Action Edition)“Say what you want about Biden, but he takes immediate action five months before an election.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m going to be honest; I’m not sure Biden’s plan is going to work. Forget the border — we can’t even secure the deodorant at Walgreens.” — JIMMY FALLON“I feel bad for Biden — he can’t close the border, and he can’t open a bottle of Tylenol.” — JIMMY FALLON“That is a tough needle to thread, being an anti-immigration liberal: [imitating Biden] ‘So we’re going to seal the border, folks, but the wall is going to be gluten-free, and the barbed wire will be pro-choice. It’s not a border wall, it’s a ‘board-her’ wall.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingVice President Kamala Harris discussed the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe stand-up comic and actor Tig Notaro will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“I don’t think I can perform the way I want to in a couple of years,” Cyndi Lauper said. “I want to be strong.”Thea Traff for The New York TimesAt 70, the pop icon Cyndi Lauper is readying one last tour and a documentary about her life. More

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      Stephen Colbert Counts Down to Donald Trump’s Sentencing

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      Colbert showed off his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” which contained a bottle of bourbon.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Convicted Felon Trump’Most late night hosts were off last week after the Memorial Day holiday, which meant Monday was their first chance to discuss how Donald Trump had been found guilty on 34 counts in his hush money trial.Stephen Colbert continuously referred to the former president as “convicted felon Trump” and wheeled out his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” complete with Judge Juan M. Merchan’s face on each one of the 38 days until July 11, and a bottle of bourbon inside.“It’s going to be the R.N.C. live from Cell Block B with a keynote speech from his warden, his cellmate Spider, that one guard who smuggles in cellphones up his butt, and, for the cocktail hour, enjoy complimentary toilet wine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Former President Trump has been found guilty on all 34 charges in his criminal hush money trial and faces up to four years in prison. Well, for what it’s worth, all your friends are already there, you know? It’s like what my wife tells me on our way to a dinner party: ‘Don’t worry — you’ll know people.’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Trump was found guilty. They were going to put him in an orange jumpsuit, but it felt redundant.” — JIMMY FALLON“Just because there’s ample evidence and a jury believes it, anyone could now be found guilty. Do we really want to live in an America where the law is applied equally regardless of how rich you are?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We might now be facing a situation where if you can’t do the time, and I can’t believe I’m saying this: Don’t do the crime.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The big question now is whether Trump will get jail time or house arrest. If he’s sentenced to jail, Melania will be inside the courtroom chanting, ‘Four more years!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump will be sentenced on July 11, and his lawyers told him, ‘You should get your affairs in order.’ Trump was like, ‘That’s what got me in trouble in the first place.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, former President Trump was found guilty last week on 34 counts of falsifying business records and faces up to 4 years in jail and a $5,000 fine. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, you can waive the fine.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lock Her Up Edition)“The people said ‘Lock her up?’ That was your whole campaign — stop it! We remember; we were there. It’s like if Arby’s said ‘We never said we had the meats — the people said we had the meats.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating Trump] Folks, I was talking about Hilary Swank, OK? No baby is worth a million dollars.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More