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      Late Night Isn’t Amused by Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Jan. 6 Joke

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      The Republican congresswoman said that if she and Steve Bannon had planned the Capitol riot, “we would have won.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Coulda Shoulda WouldaAt a Republican gala on Saturday, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia made a joke about the Jan. 6 riot: “If Steve Bannon and I had organized that, we would have won.” She added, “Not to mention, it would have been armed.”“You see, the joke is, conservatives are such bloodthirsty psychopaths, if they had actually planned the insurrection on the Capitol, it would have been way more violent,” Seth Meyers said on Monday. “That’s like if Holiday Inn ran an ad that said, ‘If “White Lotus” took place here, a lot more people would have died.’”“Now, let me just say if I saw Greene with a gun, I would definitely be scared, but I refuse to believe Steve Bannon knows how to use one. No one who layers polo shirts is good with a firearm. In a way, they’d make fun partners in a buddy cop movie.” — SETH MEYERS“So, by ‘we’ she means the rioters, and by ‘would have won’ she means ‘overthrown the government’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[Imitating Marjorie Taylor Greene] If I had been in charge of invading my own office, Mike Pence wouldn’t just look like a ghost, he’d be one!’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Keep Your Day Job, Elon Edition)“Elon is being slammed for a tweet he posted yesterday that said, ‘My pronouns are prosecute and Fauci.’ Fauci was like, ‘Yep, much like a Tesla battery, Elon’s on fire.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s like a joke generated by A.I. — it makes no sense. The structure is wrong, it doesn’t rhyme with anything, there are too many syllables. It’s exactly the kind of joke you would expect from a guy who named his son after the bottom row of an eye chart.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, you could tell Fauci wasn’t having it because he wrote back, ‘Congrats on making Twitter the Johnson & Johnson vaccine of social media.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingMichelle Obama exchanged Christmas gifts with Jimmy Kimmel on his Monday night show.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightStanley Tucci will pop by “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutSteve Tientcheu in “Les Misérables.”Julien Magre/Amazon StudiosMovies about soccer are often eclectic and at times unclassifiable, drawing from multiple continents and genres. More

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      Late Night Celebrates Raphael Warnock’s Win in the Georgia Runoff

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      Stephen Colbert said he was both “gratified and terrified” after Warnock narrowly beat Herschel Walker for a Senate seat.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Warnock For the WinLate night hosts had taped their Tuesday shows before the results from the Georgia Senate runoff were in, so they shared their reactions to Raphael Warnock’s win on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert said he felt a swing of emotions. “Gratified, because Raphael Warnock defeated Herschel Walker, 51.4 percent to 48.6 percent, and terrified, because 48.6 percent of Georgians looked at Herschel Walker and went, ‘Yeah, that guy should be a U.S. senator.’”“Warnock has won Georgia! It’s fitting he’s a reverend, because when I hear that, all I can say is ‘Thank God.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But despite that, it was close. It was really, really close. In fact, if I was Raphael Warnock, my victory speech wouldn’t have been me smiling. I would have been a lot more different. He’s a gracious man. He was talking about democracy and America’s promise. I would have been up there like, ‘Are you people kidding me with this [expletive]? You guys are giving me a two point win over this walking vasectomy commercial? Are you kidding me?’ He is a better man.” — TREVOR NOAH“This is a tough break for Walker, though it’ll take him a couple days to understand what has happened.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Walker was so deeply unqualified that much of the time it seemed like he didn’t even know what was going on. Even Walker’s fellow Republicans warned months ago that he could lose. The only reason he was even a candidate for the Senate in the first place was that he was once on Donald Trump’s game show. Donald Trump fired him from ‘The Celebrity Apprentice,’ but thought he might do better in the United States Senate. [imitating Trump] ‘Herschel, I don’t know if you’re ready to sell corn dogs in Times Square, so let’s put you in charge of the U.S. military first.’” — SETH MEYERS“Rafael Warnock defeated Republican Herschel Walker in the Georgia runoff last night, giving Democrats a 51-49 seat majority in the Senate. Experts say the key to Warnock’s victory was that he wasn’t Herschel Walker.” — JAMES CORDEN“When you take a moment, when you step away from a race, you understand how crazy this was? You had Raphael Warnock, a pastor — a pastor who is preaching at the same church as M.L.K., and Herschel Walker, a man who thinks M.L.K. is how you spell ‘milk.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Herschel, What’s Next? Edition)“With this loss, Walker is expected to return to his previous job, lying about having previous jobs. But on the bright side, it gives him more time to spend with his family, and more time to figure out who that is.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And with the election behind him, Herschel says he will now focus on his true passion, having more kids than Nick Cannon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Herschel’s already working on his next project, which is desperately trying to learn to sing ‘Baby Got Back’ while dressed like an acorn on ‘The Masked Singer.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Herschel has decided to step away from the spotlight to spend more time denying allegations from his family.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” parodied holiday rom-coms with its political parody, “The Daily Show Christmas Movie: A Vote for Love.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightOn Thursday night, Trevor Noah will sign off with his last episode as host of “The Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIce Spice’s “Munch (Feelin’ U)” introduces a new piece of slang. The track made all three of our critics’ lists this year.Edwig HensonWith 70 different songs spanning several genres, our critics share their picks for the best songs of 2022. More

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      Stephen Colbert Thanks Santa After Trump Organization Is Found Guilty

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      Late night hosts were thrilled after the former president’s company was convicted on all 17 counts it faced, including tax fraud.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Christmas MiracleOn Tuesday, the Trump Organization was convicted on 17 counts of tax fraud and other crimes.“Oh, Santa, you got my letter!” Stephen Colbert riffed on the news.“Trump is bragging it’s the most counts ever.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And you know what that means? Donald Trump is going to prison — to visit all the lower-ranking people that did this without his knowledge or his permission.” — TREVOR NOAH“Nothing ever happens to Donald Trump. He’ll probably try to convince us he’s never even heard of the Trump Organization.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“All the successes and Trump’s organization, they are due to the genius of Donald Trump. All the crimes, he had no idea. He’s like, [imitating Donald Trump] ‘That’s right, folks. I have zero control over the things I run, which is why you should vote for me to run the country so I can run it like one of my companies, which I don’t even run. I don’t even run.’” — TREVOR NOAH“What happened was, top execs in the organization got around paying their fair share of taxes through a series of schemes that included off-the-books perks like luxury cars and free apartments. Because nothing makes you look less guilty than giving all your execs a getaway car and a hide-out.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“There’s no word yet on how this is going to impact Trump’s re-election campaign. The reason for that is that it probably won’t.” — JAMES CORDEN“Executives in the organization received fancy apartments, Mercedes-Benzes, even private school tuition for relatives, none of which they paid tax on. I just have to ask: Are they hiring?” — JAMES CORDEN“I don’t get this — how is the organization guilty, but not Donald Trump? This is like if McDonald’s got in trouble, but the Hamburglar got off scot-free.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Herschel Walker’s Last Push Edition)“In Georgia, Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker are going head-to-head injury in the Senate runoff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Walker spent the day making one final push, which is unusual for him. Usually during the final push, he’s miles away from the hospital at a Waffle House telling a waitress she could be ‘the one.’”— JIMMY KIMMEL“Voters were out at the polls all day, and at 11:35 Eastern time, with 0 percent of precincts reporting, because we taped the show at 5:30, ‘The Late Show’ is ready to project that Herschel Walker does not belong in the Senate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The U.S. Senate is no place for people whose brains don’t work because of football injuries; it’s a place for people whose brains don’t work because they’re 1,000 years old.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not like Herschel didn’t try — he spent years fathering as many voters as possible.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingAmy Poehler and Maya Rudolph appeared on Tuesday’s “Late Night,” where they challenged Seth Meyers to ask them a tough question.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe Linda Lindas will perform on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This Out“Who am I?” asks Orlando, played by Emma Corrin, in a new production at Garrick Theater in London.Marc BrennerEmma Corrin straddles genders and centuries in Neil Bartlett’s breezy adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s novel “Orlando,” now playing at the Garrick Theater in London. More

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      Trevor Noah Takes on Trump’s Attempt to Terminate the Constitution

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      “There was no proof of a conspiracy to help defeat Donald Trump,” Noah said. “But you know who doesn’t care about any of that? Donald Trump.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The TerminatorOver the weekend, Donald Trump floated the idea of terminating the Constitution. He was responding to a report about Twitter, specifically its decision, during the 2020 presidential campaign, to block links to an article about Hunter Biden’s laptop.As Trevor Noah noted, some people expected the report — hyped in advance by Twitter’s new owner, Elon Musk — to show that Twitter had colluded with Democrats to repress the story. Instead, it seemed to show the Biden campaign asking Twitter to take down not-safe-for-work Hunter Biden photos. Still, Trump seemed to believe it proved “Massive Fraud” that justified the “termination” of parts of the Constitution, in order to reverse the election results.“There was no proof of a conspiracy to help defeat Donald Trump,” Noah said. “But you know who doesn’t care about any of that? Donald Trump.”“The Constitution is one of the documents he actually stole and took to Mar-a-Lago.” — JAMES CORDEN“Former President Trump on Saturday said that the 2020 election should be overturned and the Constitution should be terminated. Well, I’ll say this for him, he does give a memorable wedding toast.” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, that’s right. The Republican front-runner for president of the United States wants to terminate the Constitution because Twitter wouldn’t allow him to see Hunter Biden’s [expletive].”— TREVOR NOAH“Again with the Hunter Biden laptop! Give it a rest! You don’t hear anyone obsessing over the former president’s son’s laptop. And Eric’s got a good one — it’s made by Fisher-Price, and it can tell you what sound a cow makes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So yeah, sorry, everyone, if you want to see naked people, you’ve got to go to every other website on the internet, I guess.” — TREVOR NOAH“You know, not everyone is a stable enough genius to write down their intention to overthrow democracy in a social media post, but he thinks the Constitution is something that can be terminated, like it’s Meat Loaf on an episode of ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ It doesn’t go like that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s only fair. Trump got to win an election through Facebook, Biden should get to win one through Twitter.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Walker’s Big Run Edition)“Some political news, tomorrow is the Georgia Senate runoff between Herschel Walker and Senator Raphael Warnock. Warnock’s supporters said that they’re voting for him because of his policies, while Walker’s supporters say they’re voting for him because it’s funny.” — JIMMY FALLON“More than 1.8 million Georgia residents have already voted, and that’s just Herschel Walker’s children.” — JIMMY FALLON“Right now, Warnock is leading Walker in the polls by about four points. Yeah, only four points. That explains Warnock’s slogan, ‘Even if I win, I’m genuinely hurt.’” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden said on Friday that Democrats must win the Georgia Senate runoff to avoid a 50-50 split in the chamber. ‘But that would mean the end of my presidency!’ said Joe Manchin.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Haley Lu Richardson shared the first text message she received from her co-star Aubrey Plaza before they started working together on “The White Lotus.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe all-woman tap group Syncopated Ladies will perform on Tuesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJerrod Carmichael in a scene from his HBO stand-up special “Rothaniel.”HBOJerrod Carmichael’s “Rothaniel” and Atsuko Okatsuka’s forthcoming HBO Max special “The Intruder” are among the best comedy of 2022. More

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      Late Night Predicts a Tough Thanksgiving

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      For the humans, there’s inflation; for the turkeys, there’s avian flu. “To be fair, I’m pretty sure every Thanksgiving is a tough one for turkey,” said Stephen Colbert.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Thank$giving 2022Thanksgiving will be affected by inflation this year.In his Wednesday night monologue, Stephen Colbert attributed that to “a variety of factors, including the war in Ukraine, high fuel prices. But the number one factor, according to experts, is Hunter Biden’s laptop.”“In other words, it’s going to cost you an arm and a leg for a wing and a thigh.” — JAMES CORDEN“This year, your Thanksgiving might look a little different, because prices are up on almost everything, from frozen pie crusts to pumpkin pie mix to a dozen dinner rolls. Well, there goes my favorite dessert: a dozen dinner rolls.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But it’s not just the supporting players. It’s also the star of the show, Tom Turkey. In addition to inflation, a blight of avian flu means that Thanksgiving 2022 is shaping up to be a tough one for turkey. To be fair, I’m pretty sure every Thanksgiving is a tough one for turkey.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Prices are up because of inflation and supply chain issues. so don’t be surprised if this year, the candied yams are just a potato with a Starburst in it.” — JAMES CORDEN“A new record high for Thanksgiving food items. You know how the economists figured this out? Pie chart.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Night Before Edition)“Today was so-called ‘Blackout Wednesday,’ which is known as the biggest bar night of the year. So if you’re watching me right now, you a loser.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s a great tradition, you talk smack about your family to your friends, and then tomorrow you talk smack about your friends to your family.” — JIMMY FALLON“This is actually one of the biggest drinking nights of the year, which is why tomorrow morning people are going to be, like, ‘I’m most thankful for this bacon, egg and cheese and Gatorade.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Right now, some of you are excited to see your family, while the rest of you are about to draw an extra line on a Covid test.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s a special time, when we gather with family and friends to share our gratitude through America’s traditional expression of love: the food coma.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A bit of history: I read that Abraham Lincoln declared Thanksgiving an official holiday in 1863. It’s like during the Civil War, he saw our country fighting each other and thought, ‘We should make a whole meal out of this.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingBruce Springsteen shared his favorite Thanksgiving dishes on Wednesday’s “Late Night With Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutHugh Jackman and Zen McGrath in “The Son.”Rekha Garton/Sony Pictures ClassicsHugh Jackman plays the father of a troubled teenager in Florian Zeller’s drama “The Son.” More

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      Late Night Can’t Wait to Finally See Trump’s Tax Returns

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      Jimmy Kimmel joked that Trump “promised to release his tax returns more times than he promised to release Melania.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Just in Time for ThanksgivingOn Tuesday, the Supreme Court rejected former President Donald Trump’s request to block a House committee from obtaining his tax returns.“He promised to release his tax returns more times than he promised to release Melania,” Jimmy Kimmel joked. “Like 10,000.”“Democrats will only have a few weeks to access the documents before the Republicans retake the House and make them disappear. Basically, Trump’s tax returns are like a close friend’s Instagram story.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, following this ruling, we can finally find out if he wrote off Eric as a loss.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Farewell, Dr. Fauci Edition)“Today, Dr. Fauci gave his final White House briefing before his retirement. He was like, ‘This is my last day, so if you want to inject bleach, go nuts.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Dr. Anthony Fauci today gave what is likely his last coronavirus briefing before retiring at the end of the year. And you can tell he’s kinda given up, because he gave the briefing from a rave.” — SETH MEYERS“Dr. Fauci is 81 years old. Today, Biden was like, ‘Congrats on your early retirement.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert addressed the issues plaguing this year’s World Cup on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Dead to Me” star Linda Cardellini will stop by “The Late Late Show” on Wednesday night.Also, Check This OutWomen now make up a majority of players in the New York Philharmonic, but they dominate some sections of the orchestra more than others: 27 of the ensemble’s 30 violinists are women. Calla Kessler for The New York TimesFor the first time in 180 years, women outnumber men in the New York Philharmonic. More