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      Late Night Recaps the Queen’s Funeral

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      “There is no iPhone at the end of that line, all right?” Trevor Noah said of the long lines of mourners on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fit for a QueenQueen Elizabeth’s funeral took place on Monday, with crowds waiting in line for up to 24 hours to pay their respects.Trevor Noah called the wait “no joke,” saying, “There is no iPhone at the end of that line, all right? It’s just a box and you don’t even get to open the box.”“The line to see the queen’s coffin stretched for miles, similar to what goes on here in America when Popeye’s comes out with a new chicken sandwich.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The procession was lengthy, with King Charles and siblings walking behind the coffin for nearly one and a half hours. That’s not easy. For years, the royal family’s only form of exercise has been walking back statements from Andrew.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And it was a three-mile march from Westminster Abbey to Windsor Castle, also known as the long walk. Yeah, or as Kylie Jenner calls it, ‘Why didn’t they take the jet?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Leaders, dignitaries, and politicians from around the world gathered in London for the funeral of Queen Elizabeth. Meanwhile, Trump showed up at a Burger King and said, ‘Sorry for your loss.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Freddy Krueger Edition)“In an interview yesterday, President Biden said while we still have a problem with the virus, quote, ‘The pandemic is over.’ Yes. Yeah. But I get why Biden said this. I mean, he just had Covid. Everyone — everyone who gets Covid is over Covid.” — TREVOR NOAH“Biden then announced that skinny jeans, neutral tones, and chrome nail polish are also over.” — JAMES CORDEN“He said ‘the pandemic is over,’ which is weirdly not reassuring at all. It’s like saying ‘Freddy Krueger is dead and he’s never coming back!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s kind of huge news to mention so casually, you know? I wasn’t expecting the end of a two-and-a-half-year nightmare to be announced on the floor of the Detroit Auto Show.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon and his “Tonight Show” guest Margot Robbie got blasted in the face with an air cannon for every wrong answer in a guessing game called “Blow Your Mind.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightBilly Eichner will talk about his new movie “Bros” on “The Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“M*A*S*H,” which debuted in September 1972, feels both ancient and current. With Jamie Farr, seated, and, from left, Mike Farrell, David Ogden Stiers, Alan Alda, Loretta Swit, Harry Morgan and William Christopher in a later season.CBS Photo Archive/Getty ImagesAfter 50 years, “M*A*S*H” holds up as a precursor to modern-day comedies that are more than just funny. More

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      Ron DeSantis’s Migrant Stunt Gets Poor Reviews From Late Night

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      The Florida governor claimed credit for sending migrants to Martha’s Vineyard. Trevor Noah accused him of trolling on the taxpayers’ dime.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Florida Man Owns the LibsGov. Ron DeSantis of Florida took credit for sending two planes filled with migrants to Martha’s Vineyard from Texas on Wednesday. His communications director said it was part of a state program to transport undocumented immigrants to so-called sanctuary destinations.“Ron DeSantis is the governor of Florida, so why is he grabbing refugees in Texas and shipping them to Massachusetts, huh? Why? So he can prove that America’s immigration system is broken? Yeah, everyone knows that. But instead of pushing lawmakers to actually reform the system, he’s using taxpayer money to, what, go viral?” — TREVOR NOAH“If you told DeSantis to spend the same amount of money helping these asylum seekers, he’d be like, ‘Oh, we don’t have the funding for that,’ but to troll the Democrats, suddenly he’s like, ‘Put it on my card, yeah!’” — TREVOR NOAH“And by the way, America actually has a history of doing this. In the 1960s, racist organizations in the South shipped Black people up to Northern states to make liberals uncomfortable. But Ron DeSantis obviously doesn’t know about that, because the pages in his history books were torn out in his state.” — TREVOR NOAH“I guess Ron DeSantis doesn’t know about the Statue of Liberty.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ron DeSantis is that guy you went to high school with who desperately wanted to be prom king but didn’t have any charisma, so instead, he just pulled the fire alarm and ruined the dance for everybody.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yesterday, DeSantis flew two planes of Hispanic immigrants to Martha’s Vineyard. Hey, Ron, if you’re trying to discourage immigration, maybe don’t send people to one of the loveliest parts of New England just in time for leaf-peeping season.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Delays and Cancellations Edition)“A possible national railroad strike was averted today after 20 hours of talks between the union’s leadership and labor negotiators from the railroads — 20 hours of talks that were very annoying to everyone else in the quiet car.” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, the president helped broker a deal that went down to the wire all night long. Biden was like, ‘I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.’” — JIMMY FALLON“There’s no way that there could have been a rail strike under Biden. I mean, he rode a train to work every day for 40 years. That’d be like a tanning bed shortage under Trump, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“A strike would have meant lots of Amtrak delays and cancellations — and now that the strike has been avoided, there will still be delays and cancellations.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingDavid Blaine involved the entire audience in a freaky magic trick during Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutFrom left, Joyce DiDonato, Kelli O’Hara and Renée Fleming.Ana Cuba and Thea Traff for The New York TimesRenée Fleming, Joyce DiDonato and Kelli O’Hara star in an adaptation of “The Hours” at the Metropolitan Opera in November. More

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      Quinta Brunson Reclaims Her Time on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

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      Brunson interrupted Kimmel’s monologue to redo her Emmy acceptance speech after Kimmel lay on the stage in an extended bit some viewers found disrespectful.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Stealing the SceneJimmy Kimmel waited until Quinta Brunson appeared on his show Wednesday night to address the controversy surrounding his lying on the stage during her Emmy win on Monday.“You’re a little bit early for your interview; it’s after the commercial,” said Kimmel, who had been pretending to be passed out in his gag at the award show.“So, you know how when you win an Emmy you only have 45 seconds to do an acceptance speech which is, like, not that much time. Yeah, and then someone does, like — you get less time because someone does a dumb comedy bit that goes on a bit too long?” Brunson said before requesting the airtime on his show for additional thank-yous.Kimmel joked that he’d heard about that happening in previous years before giving Brunson the floor to relay some extra thanks, including to the internet “for raising me.”“We’ll be right back with Emmy-winning Quinta Brunson!” she said, going to break.During their sit-down interview, Kimmel apologized to Brunson, who won for outstanding writing for a comedy series, for “Abbott Elementary.” He acknowledged that “people got upset” when he wouldn’t leave the Emmys stage for her speech.“They said I stole your moment. And maybe I did, and I’m very sorry if I did do that. I’m sorry I did do that, actually. Also, the last thing I would ever want to do is upset you because I think so much of you, and I think you know that. I hope you know that.” — JIMMY KIMMELKimmel then blamed his Emmys co-presenter, saying, “It was really Will Arnett’s thing — the whole thing. He drugged me and he dragged me out there. And I was unconscious.”The Punchiest Punchlines (Drive-Through Edition)“MyPillow C.E.O. Mike Lindell said in an interview yesterday that F.B.I. agents seized his cellphone at a Hardee’s drive-through in Minnesota. The F.B.I. says they weren’t tipped off about his location, they just assumed. [imitating F.B.I. Agents] ‘Hey, they want us to get Lindell’s cellphone.’ ‘All right — Hardee’s drive-through?’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, MyPillow C.E.O. Mike Lindell said that F.B.I. agents seized his cellphone at a Hardee’s drive-through. So not a great way to start his job interview.” — SETH MEYERS“Good luck to Mike Lindell. I’m not sure you want to go to jail being known as the MyPillow guy.” — JIMMY FALLON“I have so many questions about this, like was the F.B.I. following him, or did they just say, ‘You know what? Eventually, he’s going to go to Hardee’s. We’ll just wait here.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Lindell stood his ground at Hardee’s. The feds got his phone, but he said if they want to take his mushroom-and-swiss Angus burger, they’ll have to come back with a warrant.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingSteve Carell joined Stephen Colbert for another “Late Show” rendition of “Too Much Exposition Theatre.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe singer and “Monarch” star Beth Ditto will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutDiane Arbus in Tompkins Square Park in New York in 1967.Nathan FarbThe David Zwirner Gallery in New York is restaging the famed photographer Diane Arbus’s 1972 retrospective, with a few omissions. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Studies Trump’s Golfless Golf Course Gathering

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      “Yeah, Trump was smart. He was like, ‘How about nine of us meet on the green with no clubs, so it doesn’t look suspicious?’” Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Executive CourseThere’s been speculation about why Donald Trump made an unannounced trip to the Washington area, where he was photographed on a golf course with his son Eric and several other men — none of whom had golf clubs. Jimmy Fallon called it a “very diverse group,” saying “they had polo shirts of every color. ”“Looks like backstage at a fashion show for Marshall’s.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Trump was smart. He was like, ‘How about nine of us meet on the green with no clubs, so it doesn’t look suspicious?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was like, ‘So, I think I buried the documents somewhere around here. So start — start digging, boys.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Whatever it was, it must not have been too important because Eric was there, riding up front with Daddy like a big boy.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Emmys Edition)“The Emmy Awards ceremony was held last night. Our show was nominated and, honey, clear some space on the mantle, ‘cause they had snow globes at the airport!” — SETH MEYERS“John Oliver beat us for like the 485th time in a row, and congratulations to John. But I’ll tell you something: Even though we didn’t win last night, it was an honor just to get Covid from those who did win last night.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“As they all are nowadays, this was the lowest-rated Emmys show ever. Only 5.92 million people watched the show on NBC. But that’s not really the whole story — it’s not fair. It was also on Peacock, so when you add in the people who streamed it there, it’s still 5.92 million people.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingEthan Hawke answered the “Colbert Questionert” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe newly minted Emmy winner Quinta Brunson will talk about her big night on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutLee Jung-jae, left, who won the Emmy for best actor in a drama series, and Hwang Dong-hyuk, who was honored for his directing, after an impressive showing for “Squid Game” in Los Angeles on Monday.Aude Guerrucci/ReutersAs “Squid Game” racked up multiple Emmys, it was hailed as the latest example of South Korea’s rise as a cultural powerhouse. More

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      James Corden Pays Tribute to the Queen

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      The British host of “The Late Late Show” called Queen Elizabeth II “a guiding light.” Other hosts went a bit lighter with their commentary.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Long Did She ReignQueen Elizabeth II died on Thursday, after seven decades on the throne. Late night’s British import, James Corden, delivered a joke-free opening segment on “The Late Late Show,” calling the queen “a guiding light; always gracious, always dignified, always a shining example of leadership.”“I, like the rest of the world, am so sad tonight, but also so thankful and grateful to the queen for the most incredible service and leadership she has shown during all of our lifetimes.” — JAMES CORDENThe other hosts went lighter with their commentary on the queen’s lengthy reign.“She was the queen for 70 years, longer than any monarch in British history. To put it in perspective for Americans, this would be like if Kris Jenner died here.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The queen is known as England’s rock. We don’t have a rock. The closest thing we have to a rock in America is The Rock.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But 96 — that’s a pretty good run. I feel like if you die anywhere on the FM radio dial, it’s — you know? My goal is to make it to Hot 97 — or maybe even Power 106, who knows?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When you think about all the people that the queen has met with over the last 70 years, it’s really remarkable. She’s met with everyone from Lady Bird Johnson to Lady Gaga, from Bill Clinton to Will.i.am. She met J.F.K. and J.Lo. She’s met the Beatles and the Spice Girls. … Then, after all these years, this week she saw Harry Styles spit on Chris Pine and said, ‘OK, I’ve had enough.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“She came to power in 1952. You understand how long that is? That means she’s seen Adam West as Batman, Michael Keaton as Batman, Christian Bale as Batman, Ben Affleck as Batman — survived that — and then Robert Pattinson as Batman. And look, I’m sure there’s a better way to measure time than in Batman, but you get it. She’s been in the game for a minute.”— TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bannon’s Dirty Deeds Edition)“Former Trump strategist Steve Bannon turned himself in to New York authorities today to face state criminal charges. Well, the good news is, I’m positive this man knows how to make toilet wine.” — SETH MEYERS“He has been charged with multiple felonies, including money laundering, which is definitely the first time in Steve Bannon’s life he’s been accused of doing laundry.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This guy doesn’t look like he has $15. Look at him! Millions of dollars? He looks like he sublets from Oscar the Grouch.” — TREVOR NOAH“When the judge asked Bannon how he pleads, he said ‘grimy.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon and Blake Shelton premiered their new football-season-inspired song “I’ll Bring the Ice” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutThe real Weird Al Yankovic, left, and his movie double, Daniel Radcliffe. “I hope this confuses a lot of people,” the musician said of their biopic.Sinna Nasseri for The New York TimesWeird Al Yankovic and Daniel Radcliffe formed an unlikely bond on the set of “Weird: The Al Yankovic Story.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Declares Trump ‘the Worst Ex Ever’

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      “After four years of putting up with his nonsense, we finally throw him out of the house, he takes 40 boxes of our stuff,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Ménage a treason’The F.B.I.’s search at Mar-a-Lago continued to dominate late night on Wednesday, as further details emerge on its findings.Jimmy Kimmel called Trump “the worst ex ever.”“After four years of putting up with his nonsense, we finally throw him out of the house, he takes 40 boxes of our stuff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These documents — these are so protected they can’t even be viewed by most members of Trump’s or the president’s national security team. The only people who are allowed to see them are the president of the United States and a few highly cleared members of his council, and anyone who goes into Trump’s closet looking for a broom, I guess.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So this time, the ex-president wasn’t just betraying our country, he brought in another country for a ménage a treason.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Investigators reportedly found the nuclear documents hidden in the club’s storage closet, next to a bag of golf tees, a box of old pool noodles, and Melania, who was hiding in there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He took top secret documents from the White House and had them sitting in boxes in a room where workers regularly went in and out. They would have been more secure inside the claw machine at Dave and Buster’s, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Nuclear Stress Test Edition)“More details are emerging about the sensitive documents found inside Donald Trump’s Florida home, and it turns out some of those documents included information about a foreign nation’s military defenses and their nuclear capabilities. It’s pretty shocking. Hard to imagine such recklessness from an otherwise perfectly buttoned-up administration.” — JAMES CORDEN“How do you explain this to our allies? ‘Don’t worry, prime minister, your country’s nuclear secrets are perfectly, safely stored at the Mar-a-Lago waffle bar between the syrup and the Nutella bucket.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“These nuclear secrets could have been stolen by foreign agents, they could have been published on the internet, Eric could have eaten them — we don’t know!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Imagine being a guest at Mar-a-Lago and using the bathroom, and out of the corner of your eye you just notice something and are you like, ‘Hang on. Is that — is that Norway’s nuclear codes?’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingAmber Ruffin, a writer for “Late Night,” skewered the people who misidentified famous Black women at the U.S. Open tennis tournament and at a New York Liberty W.N.B.A. game during Wednesday’s “Amber Says What?”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightRyan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney will talk about their new series “Welcome to Wrexham” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSimone Niamani Thompson for The New York TimesThe women of “Black Panther” leaned on each other to get through the grief-stricken shoot without their late co-star Chadwick Boseman while filming the sequel, “Wakanda Forever.” More

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      Late Night Returns Just in Time for Trump to Get a Special Master

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      “Once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed,” Trevor Noah said. “Nobody!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Master of NoneAfter a summer full of breaks, guest hosts and repeats, late-night hosts returned to the air on Tuesday, just in time to talk about the documents the F.B.I. found at Mar-a-Lago and the appointment of a special master to review them.Trevor Noah said he’d never heard of a special master before, adding that “once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed. Nobody!”“I didn’t even know it was an option. I’ve watched 10 million hours of ‘Law & Order.’ I know about subpoenas, I know about breaking the chain of custody, objection, sustained, overruled, sidebar in my chambers — but not once have I heard the term ‘special master.’ Once again, thanks to Trump, because of his hard work and dedication to doing crimes, we’ve all learned something new today, and I say thank you, Mr. President.” — TREVOR NOAH“Which, I’m not going to lie, when I first heard it, sounded pretty cool. It was like, ‘Donald Trump is getting a special master.’ I was like, ‘He’s about to learn kung fu?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Who the special master will be, we do not know. Maybe they can get Eric to do it. He’s special, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, the special master has to review over 11,000 documents, which could delay the investigation. Man, only Trump could avoid jail just because there’s too much evidence.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’ve got to say, ‘special master’ actually sounds kind of kinky. [imitating deep voice] ‘You will address me as special master, and you will submit … your motion to dismiss no later than 3 p.m. Friday. Now beg for my gavel.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Secret Documents Edition)“You know, I’ve been trying to understand how he could possibly believe he had the right to take all those documents to his house. It’s weird that a person who barely reads would even want documents. It’s like finding out your dog collects stamps.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But even more concerning is that the F.B.I. also found dozens of classified folders that were empty, which obviously raises the question, where are the documents from the folders? Are they in other boxes? Did he lend them to Saudi Arabia? Or maybe — maybe it’s more innocent, yeah. Maybe Trump keeps a bunch of folders labeled ‘classified’ so he can give them to friends with photocopies of his butt inside.” — TREVOR NOAH“It’s also possible the intelligence community didn’t trust Trump with classified information so they just gave him empty folders.” — TREVOR NOAH“The feds also recovered documents related to the use of ‘clandestine human sources’ in intelligence gathering. That means lists of our secret operatives in foreign governments. Why would he have those? Is he writing a new spy thriller: ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Woman, Man, Camera, T.V.’?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “The Tonight Show,” Hillary Clinton reacted to Jimmy Fallon’s monologue about what the F.B.I. found while searching Mar-a-Lago.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe singer Fletcher will make her late-night debut on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutKaren O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs.Mark Horton/Getty ImagesAfter a lengthy hiatus, the art rock trio Yeah Yeah Yeahs is returning with a new studio album, “Cool It Down,” on Sept. 30. More

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      Trevor Noah on Trump’s Jailbird Friends

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      “Look, if we had more time we could talk about how Trump pretends to be the candidate of law and order. Meanwhile, his friends can fill up an entire prison wing,” Noah joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.With Friends Like TheseThe longtime chief financial officer of the former president’s business, Alan Weisselberg, reached a deal to plead guilty to 15 felonies on Thursday, admitting to his participation in a tax scheme at Donald Trump’s family business.“Can we take a moment to appreciate how many associated with Trump have ended up in prison?” Trevor Noah said on Thursday. “His lawyer, his campaign manager, his deputy campaign chairman, now the chief financial officer of his organization? Usually you’ve got to run a drug cartel to have this many friends doing this kind of time, so at this point it’s basically El Chapo and Donald Trump — that’s it.”“They need to send all these Trump felons to school assemblies to scare kids away from Trump. It’d be like, ‘You think hanging out with the 45th president is cool? That’s what I thought. Now I’m drinking wine out of a toilet. That’s my state of the union, kid!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Now, I know what you’re thinking right now. You’re wondering to yourself, ‘Surely, if Trump’s second-in-command was committing financial crimes with Trump’s company, then Trump must also be involved in these crimes.’ Well, actually, no. Because, apparently, the story is that he had no idea what was happening in his organization at all levels for decades. He had no clue. And that, my friends, is the kind of leadership that makes him fit to be the next president of the United States.” — TREVOR NOAH“Now look, if we had more time we could talk about how Trump pretends to be the candidate of law and order. Meanwhile, his friends can fill up an entire prison wing, but we just don’t have the time for that.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Cheap Netflix and Chill Edition)“I saw that when Netflix rolls out their cheaper plan with ads, users won’t be able to download shows to watch offline. Yes, it’s going to be very different. With the cheaper plan, you get commercial breaks, no downloads, when you try to hit ‘Skip intro,’ it says, ‘Nah.’ ‘Stranger Things’ is just the Jonathan scenes. Each month, they send you a cheese sandwich from the Fyre Festival documentary. When you’re with your parents, it automatically plays the show ‘How to Build a Sex Room.’ And finally, it automatically shares your password with all your exes.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon and Martin Short walked into a bar on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutAubrey Plaza in “Emily the Criminal.”Roadside Attractions/Vertical EntertainmentBest known for her deadpan comic role on “Parks and Recreation,” Aubrey Plaza has reinvented herself for her dramatic role in the thriller “Emily the Criminal.” More