If bringing back the Soviet Union is Putin’s goal, the “Daily Show” host joked, long lines are a good start.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Like Old Times
Trevor Noah was off the air last week, so he dedicated Monday’s “Daily Show” to the current situation in Ukraine, referring to it as “the largest European conflict since World War II — or when Harry and Meghan left the royals.”
“Because it’s always been Putin’s wet dream to reunite the Soviet Union, you know? Sort of the same way Disney wants to tie all of its franchises together. Yeah, now Mickey is fighting Thanos? That’s weird, but profitable.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Well, damn, Putin’s goal was to bring back the glory days of the Soviet Union. People waiting hours in long lines is definitely a start.” — TREVOR NOAH
“They’re cutting off banking, they’re arming their enemies, and on top of that, airlines are stopping flights to and from Russia, which in my opinion might be one of the worst things. Because I mean the best part about going to Russia is that you can fly out of Russia. Now they don’t even have that.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Yes, the threat of nuclear annihilation may have increased; yes, we may be on the brink of World War III; and, yes, Europe is once again at the mercy of one power-hungry dictator, but on the bright side, when was the last time you thought about Covid, huh?” — TREVOR NOAH
The Punchiest Punchlines (Taking Sides Edition)
“Even famously neutral Switzerland is taking action against Russia. Switzerland, the people who never take a side, are taking a side on this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Switzerland has a knife out for Russia, and since it’s a Swiss knife, it comes with little scissors, a toothpick and a corkscrew.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The Swiss don’t get involved in war. They don’t get involved in alliances. My dad didn’t get involved in my life. I would ask him to hug me, and he’d tell me that his official policy was to stay neutral.” — TREVOR NOAH, whose father is Swiss-German
“The Swiss president said, ‘Russia’s attack cannot be accepted regarding international law, this cannot be accepted politically, and this cannot be accepted morally.’ And these are the people who gave Hitler a safe deposit box, so.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“This is Switzerland, who may I remind you didn’t take a side when it came to Hitler, but they looked at Russia and said, ‘OK, you’ve gone too far.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This is like the Dalai Lama grabbin’ a buck knife and an AK and screaming, ‘Kill ’em all! Let the Buddha sort ’em out.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Imagine being sanctioned by a country that has been neutral for hundreds of years. It would be like Tom Hanks telling a child to go [expletive] himself.” — JAMES CORDEN
“They have frozen Russian assets and closed Swiss airspace, which is helpful. And now not only is Putin in hot water, he’s in hot chocolate too.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So to recap, Russia has now lost the Taliban and the Swiss. The most and least violent people in the world are united against Russia right now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Saturday Night Live” star Kate McKinnon faced off against Jimmy Fallon in a word game called “Hey Robot.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Sandra Oh will talk about the end of “Killing Eve” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
