Jimmy Kimmel Live (TV Program)

Subterms

    More stories

    • 100 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Stephen Colbert Didn’t Realize America Had Been Canceled

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightStephen Colbert Didn’t Realize America Had Been Canceled“Although I’m not surprised — the last season was pretty unbelievable,” Stephen Colbert said of CPAC’s 2021 theme: “America Uncanceled.”“Still, better than last year’s CPAC theme: ‘Giving the flag the clap,’” Colbert joked on Tuesday.Credit…CBSFeb. 24, 2021, 2:31 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Early CancellationThe annual Conservative Political Action Conference kicks off this week in Orlando, Fla., where Republican leaders will discuss the future of their party. Late-night hosts poked fun at this year’s conference theme: “America Uncanceled.”“I didn’t know America was canceled. Although, I’m not surprised — the last season was pretty unbelievable,” Stephen Colbert joked on Tuesday.“Of course, with all the crises facing our nation, conservatives are focusing on the most pressing issue of all: fascists being kicked off of Twitter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s like Comic-Con for neo-cons and neo-Nazis, too.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a who’s who of ‘Who needs that many guns in their rec room?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Still, better than last year’s CPAC theme: ‘Giving the flag the clap.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to CPAC, ‘It’s time to stand up for Americans whose views have gotten them canceled,’ which is why they kicked things off by canceling an appearance from one of their panelists for a history of making anti-Semitic claims. Good — conservatives don’t want to be associated with anyone like that. It could sully the good name of the mob with aluminum bats trying to murder Mike Pence.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They tweeted, ‘We have just learned that someone we invited to CPAC has expressed reprehensible views.’ Only one?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The canceled man in question is a rapper named Young Pharaoh, who was pulled from the lineup after journalists pointed out his record of publicly rejecting the existence of Judaism outright. OK, pretty bold stance to reject the existence of the world’s oldest monotheistic religion. They’ve been around for a while, and they write it all down. It’s kind of their thing.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Young will not be appearing at CPAC after he tweeted, ‘Judaism is a big lie that was created for political gain.’ Oops. Sorry, Jared. Sorry, Ivanka.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know who could tell Young Pharaoh that Judaism exists? Old Pharaoh. There’s a pretty famous old book about it. There’s even a new book about it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“CPAC apparently hadn’t known about Young Pharaoh’s history of anti-Semitism, and called his views ‘reprehensible,’ saying they have ‘no home’ with their conference. Yes, conservatives would never doubt the existence of Jewish people. Otherwise, who’s operating the space laser?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden and Trudeau Edition)“Well, guys, today in Washington, President Biden met virtually with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for the first time since taking office. Yep, Biden did the best he could to fix our relationship with Canada. He was like, ‘Hey, about the last four years — [imitating Canadian accent] sorry.” — JIMMY FALLON“In response, Trudeau was like, ‘On behalf of Canada, thank you for your friendship, for your support, and for taking Ted Cruz.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trudeau and Biden had a typical video chat between a 49-year-old and a 78-year-old. Trudeau spent the first 20 minutes trying to tell Biden he was on mute.” — JIMMY FALLON“But it was a productive meeting, other than when Biden started talking about his second cousin who once went over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel.” — JIMMY FALLON“The two leaders discussed the most pressing issues facing Canada, like Covid-19, climate change, and how long Drake is going to keep that heart in his hair.” — JAMES CORDEN“You just know they spent the entire time trash-talking Trump and then were like, ‘Yeah, uh, we talked about Covid and stuff.’” — JAMES CORDEN“This was the president’s first virtual bilateral meeting, which sounds sexy, but it wasn’t. Next week he’s planning a TikTok with Angela Merkel, so that’ll be fun.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon and Tom Holland guessed movies based on spoiler clues on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightStanley Tucci will stop by Wednesday’s “Late Late Show” to chat with James Corden about his new CNN travel series, “Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy.”Also, Check This OutMedusa is one of the hip-hop artists featured in Ava DuVernay’s 2008 documentary “This Is the Life.”Credit…Array“This Is the Life,” Ava DuVernay’s debut documentary about Los Angeles hip-hop in the ’90s, is available for the first time on Netflix.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 100 Shares129 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Blasts Ted Cruz’s Post-Cancún Photo Op

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Blasts Ted Cruz’s Post-Cancún Photo Op“On Saturday, he posted photos of himself handing out bottled water with the hashtag ‘Texas strong.’ Sure, dude, we totally believe you,” Seth Meyers joked on Monday.Seth Meyers likened Senator Ted Cruz of Texas to a lazy husband lounging on the couch until his wife has unpacked all but the last bag of groceries.Credit…NBCFeb. 23, 2021, 2:21 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Too Little, Too LateMost late-night hosts were off last week when Senator Ted Cruz of Texas took his untimely trip to Cancún, Mexico, after a brutal winter storm that left millions of people in the state without power or water. With the photo ops the senator staged back in Texas this weekend, there was even more Cruz content to work with.“Ted Cruz is the husband who sits on his couch watching football all day, then sees his wife unloading a car full of groceries, waits until there’s one bag left in the trunk, then goes outside and says, ‘Oh, can I help?’” Seth Meyers joked on Monday.“So now Ted Cruz is doing damage control after his estúpido trip to Mexico. He lent a helping hoof to those in need this weekend, and, of course, posted about it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Then once he was shamed into coming back, Cruz tried to pretend he was actually interested in helping out. On Saturday, he posted photos of himself handing out bottled water with the hashtag ‘Texas strong.’ Sure, dude, we totally believe you.” — SETH MEYERS“Ted Cruz is like the friend who offers to help you move, but every time you see him, he’s just carrying the same box of pillows.” — JIMMY FALLON“People are also upset that Cruz tweeted those pictures himself. Even white people who only posted black squares on Instagram were like, ‘You gotta do more than that.’” — JIMMY FALLON“But Cruz tried to be helpful in other ways. Later, he showed Texans how to make frozen margs with the snow in their living rooms.” — JIMMY FALLON“Seriously, you know Cruz is having a rough 2021 when fueling a riot at the Capitol is nowhere near his biggest problem.” — JIMMY FALLON“Things are so bad for Cruz, he spent today thinking about the good old days, when people just thought he was the Zodiac Killer.” — JIMMY FALLON“Sorry, Cruz, this is not going to cut it, my man. See this right here? This is the politician version of coming home with flowers the day after Valentine’s Day. It’s not nothing, but your [expletive] is still sleeping on the couch.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Empty Gestures Edition)“Like many of Ted Cruz’s attempts to mimic human behavior, this one was Ted on arrival.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Only Ted Cruz would think he can repair his image by touching a maskless constituent two days after getting off an international flight.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Also, we’re in a pandemic. Shaking hands, handing out water, serving food? Right now a Carnival Cruise is safer than a Ted Cruz.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, it seemed like an OK gesture until everyone noticed the label on the bottle said ‘Ritz Carlton Cancún.’ A little souvenir.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yup, the photo op didn’t work out too well. Most people just drove away when he tried showing them his vacation photos.” — JIMMY FALLON“Actually, Cruz wanted to do more, but he had a parasailing lesson at 3, so.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon suggested a few podcasts worth listening to, including Shaquille O’Neal reading love poems and the highly censored “Family Friendly True Crime Podcast.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe singer Billie Eilish will chat with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutCredit…Photo illustration by Bráulio AmadoAmy Poehler checks in before returning to (virtually) co-host the Golden Globes with Tina Fey this Sunday.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 125 Shares139 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Kimmel: Texas in Crisis, Ted Cruz Says, ‘Adios, Amigos’

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }Winter StormsliveLatest UpdatesMapping the ImpactTexans DesperateConnection to Global WarmingHow to HelpAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightJimmy Kimmel: Texas in Crisis, Ted Cruz Says, ‘Adios, Amigos’“Snake on a plane, right there!” Kimmel joked. “Headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build the wall around.”“And on a day when the most newsworthy landing should have been the NASA Rover successfully touching down on Mars, instead, it was a senator from Texas touching down on Cancún,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.Credit…ABCFeb. 19, 2021, 1:04 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Feeling the HeatLate-night hosts couldn’t resist coming down on Senator Ted Cruz for taking a trip to Mexico after a winter storm left millions without power and water in his home state, Texas.“Snake on a plane, right there!” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Thursday. “Headed, ironically, to the very place he tried to build the wall around.”“Hundreds of thousands of Texans are still without power. And on a day when the most newsworthy landing should have been the NASA Rover successfully touching down on Mars, instead, it was a senator from Texas touching down on Cancún.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“While his fellow Texans are freezing with the power out, Ted Cruz did what any great leader would do when his state needs leadership most — he booked a flight to Mexico and said, ‘Adios, amigos!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ted Cruz! No, man, you got to be [expletive] me, dude! Your people are literally eating snow right now, and you’re jetting off to Cancún? I’m not even mad that you were selfish — I’m mad that you were so stupid. How can you be in politics for 10 years and still have no idea how bad this would make you look. What were you thinking?” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, seeing Ted Cruz skip town for the beach has been very frustrating for the people in Texas. But on the other hand, it has been really exciting for the people in Cancún who got to meet him on the street: ‘Wow, bro, I didn’t know that Señor Frog was a real guy. That was awesome.’” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, look, I get that Ted Cruz is tired. The man deserves a break after trying so hard to overthrow the government, but this is not the time, Ted!” — TREVOR NOAH“When your constituents said they need clean water, they didn’t mean go find a wet T-shirt contest in Cancún.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Total Ted Cruz Edition)“And what is even worse is that when he got caught, instead of owning up to it and apologizing, he acted like a total Ted Cruz.” — TREVOR NOAH“Seriously, Ted Cruz blaming his daughters for this is just gross. Being a good father means putting them on a bus, not throwing them under one.” — TREVOR NOAH“Oh, I see — we all got this thing wrong. Ted Cruz wasn’t going on vacation, people; he was just chaperoning his girls on the flight to Cancún. So, in some way, this was like a reverse ‘Taken’: [imitating Ted Cruz as Liam Neeson] ‘I want you to know that I am a man with absolutely no skills whatsoever, and I’m going to safely accompany my daughters on this trip.’” — TREVOR NOAH“He booked his return ticket at 6 a.m. this morning, after he got busted. But I guess we were supposed to believe he was just chaperoning his wife and kids to Mexico and was planning to come back the next day all along, with a carry-on bag stuffed like a piñata.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingDesus and Mero weighed in on “The Bachelor” host Chris Harrison stepping away from the show after recent controversy.Also, Check This OutCredit…The New York TimesThere’s something for everyone in the essential works of Toni Morrison in celebration of what would have been her 90th birthday.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 113 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Blasts Conservatives Blaming Windmills for Texas Blackouts

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Blasts Conservatives Blaming Windmills for Texas Blackouts“I know people were praying for Texas to go blue, but not like this,” Trevor Noah joked on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”“And this just goes to show you, you can’t put profits over quality and safety. Money’s not worth a whole lot if you have to burn it to keep warm,” Trevor Noah said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Credit…Comedy CentralFeb. 18, 2021, 1:24 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Tilting at WindmillsJimmy Kimmel and Trevor Noah touched on the issues Texas has faced this week after a winter storm overwhelmed the state’s power grid, leaving millions of people without heat.“I know people were praying for Texas to go blue, but not like this,” Noah joked. “I mean, is it too much to ask for just one apocalypse at a time?”“Some people are putting up Scotch tape and blankets. That’s not how people should keep heat in their house; that’s how you hide the weed smell from your R.A.” — TREVOR NOAHThe electricity crisis in Texas, which has its own grid to avoid federal regulation, was largely caused by freezing in the natural gas pipelines that provide the majority of the state’s power supply. But conservatives and fossil fuel advocates have blamed wind power and even the Green New Deal, a climate proposal co-sponsored by Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.“The main reason Texas has plunged into darkness is that its natural gas industry has been crippled by this storm. And that might — might — have been preventable, except that Texas deregulated its power supply in the ’90s, which was clearly not the wisest decision. I mean, trust me, as a man who lived through the ’90s, you should probably rethink most of the decisions you made in that decade.” — TREVOR NOAH“And this just goes to show you, you can’t put profits over quality and safety. Money’s not worth a whole lot if you have to burn it to keep warm.” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, this is the state that prides itself on its oil and gas industry, and now, that industry has failed spectacularly. This would be like Jason Momoa needing help opening a pickle jar, which is probably why state officials and their allies on cable news are working so hard to blame someone else.” — TREVOR NOAHGov. Greg Abbott of Texas “has been working hard to somehow push the blame to Democrats and the Green New Deal, which doesn’t even exist yet. And Tucker Carlson is helping him out by blaming it on windmills.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These guys are so desperate to just let fossil fuels off the hook, that they’re blaming A.O.C. and the Green New Deal — which, by the way, hasn’t even happened yet — for something that’s happening in Texas right now? But this just shows you, no matter what happens, no matter how far removed she is from the problem, conservatives can and will always find a way to blame the boogeyman, A.O.C. Rick Perry could have broken his arm as a kid and he would have blamed it on A.O.C.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Vaccine Update Edition)“Let’s kick off the show with the coronavirus pandemic. It’s the reason you keep refreshing vaccine websites like they’re selling Coachella tickets.” — TREVOR NOAH“Last night, Biden promised the vaccine will be available to every American who wants it by the end of July. And then we can get back to spreading the old stuff — herpes, gonorrhea and good times!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The White House is said to be in talks with Amazon right now to help distribute the vaccine. The way it will work is any Prime member who can prove they’ve watched all six seasons of ‘Bosch’ will get vaccinated.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And with over a million Americans getting vaccinated every day, everyone is anxiously looking forward to a time when they can get back to doing normal things again, like going out to eat, or not thinking about the welfare of the people who deliver their packages.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel couldn’t resist poking fun at former President Donald Trump’s “tribute” on Fox News to Rush Limbaugh, the right-wing talk radio star who died on Wednesday.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJodie Foster will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutClockwise from bottom left: Reyna Roberts, Miko Marks, Mickey Guyton, Rissi Palmer and Brittney Spencer. The five women spoke about their experiences in Nashville.Credit…Photographs by Lelanie Foster for The New York TimesFive Black women who work in country music share their experiences as singer-songwriters in a largely white, male industry.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 75 Shares159 Views

      in Television

      Snowstorm Disarmed Texas, Trevor Noah Says

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightSnowstorm Disarmed Texas, Trevor Noah Says“They don’t have snow shovels out there. Their best bet is to grab their AR-15s and shoot each snowflake before it lands: ‘Go back to Canada where you belong!’” Noah joked on Tuesday.“This storm has turned Texas into that ice level from Mario Kart. If I was in Texas right now, I’m carrying around a green shell with me, just to be safe,” Trevor Noah said.Credit…Comedy CentralFeb. 17, 2021, 12:43 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Snowed OverMost late-night hosts took the week of Presidents’ Day off, but Trevor Noah and Jimmy Kimmel were on Tuesday night with a rare weather report.“Because right now, everywhere in the country, if you look outside your window, you’re seeing snow,” Noah said. “I mean, except for Florida. If you’re looking outside your window, that white stuff you’re seeing? That’s probably cocaine.”“If you’re watching us from home right now, the good news is you have power.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oh, hell no! Trucks spinning around? Cars flying off the road? This storm has turned Texas into that ice level from Mario Kart. If I was in Texas right now, I’m carrying around a green shell with me, just to be safe.” — TREVOR NOAH“And you got to understand, this is especially tough for Texans because they’re not equipped for snow. They don’t have snow shovels out there. Their best bet is to grab their AR-15s and shoot each snowflake before it lands: ‘Go back to Canada where you belong!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Now it turns out there are a lot of reasons Texas has suffered such a huge power outage. Supply for electricity is down, the demand is surging. But experts also say that Texas neglected and underinvested in its grid until it finally broke during the storm. And look guys, I get it: Spending money on infrastructure is probably the least sexy thing you can do with your tax dollars, but it’s one of those things you’re going to take for granted until you’re in an emergency. It’s the same way how the people who built the Titanic didn’t focus on lifeboats. Instead, they were too focused on getting cars for their passengers to bang in.” — TREVOR NOAH“You know the phrase ‘When hell freezes over?’ We’re getting close. We’re getting real close.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Girls Gone Home Edition)“This morning was the coldest in decades in Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and Little Rock. In New Orleans, they had the coldest Fat Tuesday in more than a hundred years. People on the streets were putting their tops on.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s ‘Girls Gone Home’ in New Orleans.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And I think this is the right move. I mean, the sooner the people of New Orleans can stop the spread of Covid, the sooner they can get back to spreading gonorrhea.” — TREVOR NOAH“And, yeah, it’s sad. But it’s just not safe to hold a Mardi Gras parade. I mean, during a pandemic, a tuba just turns into a Covid fire hose.” — TREVOR NOAH“I thought we were supposed to have fun in ’21. But I guess that hasn’t started yet.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingA “Daily Show” correspondent, Ronny Chieng, detailed the recent horrific rise in hate crimes against Asian-Americans.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightPatton Oswalt will pop by Wednesday’s “A Little Late With Lilly Singh.”Also, Check This OutThe Oneida Nation comedian Charlie Hill on “The Tonight Show” when Jay Leno was the guest host in 1991.Credit…Gary Null/NBCU Photo Bank, via NBCUniversal, via, Getty ImagesIn his new book, Kliph Nesteroff, a historian of stand-up comedy, details the oft-forgotten and overlooked contributions Native Americans have made to the genre.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 113 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Kimmel Knows How the Impeachment Sequel Will End

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightJimmy Kimmel Knows How the Impeachment Sequel Will End“It’s kind of like ‘The Empire Strikes Back,’” Kimmel said. “We already know how it ends, but we’re watching it anyway.” Jimmy Kimmel isn’t expecting many Republican senators to vote against Donald Trump. “But a few of them, who knows? Maybe three ghosts will visit them in the middle of the night tonight.”Credit…ABCFeb. 12, 2021, 2:01 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Oops, He Did It AgainThe House impeachment managers wrapped up their case against Donald Trump on Thursday, but the late-night hosts weren’t optimistic about the verdict.“It’s kind of like ‘The Empire Strikes Back,’” Jimmy Kimmel said. “We already know how it ends, but we’re watching it anyway.” “Democrats could — at this point, they could produce a video of Trump looking straight into the camera saying ‘I, Donald Trump, hereby incite this insurrection of violence,’ and most of the Republican senators would be like, ‘But where’s the proof? We didn’t see proof.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“House Democrats today concluded their impeachment case against former President Trump. ‘Well, you’ve given me plenty to not think about,’ said Rand Paul.” — SETH MEYERS“Yep, their presentation was so emotional and compelling that Republicans almost looked up from their phones.” — JIMMY FALLON“Most of them are lost causes. Like Tom Cotton, Bill Hagerty — these guys, they would eat the hair out of Donald Trump’s shower drain. But a few of them, who knows? Maybe three ghosts will visit them in the middle of the night tonight.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These senators are a jury for a trial of the president, but instead, they’re acting like bored middle schoolers. What do Democrats have to do to make this interesting for them, bring in one of those math teachers who raps everything? ‘My name is Doug and I’m here to say, democracy was threatened in a major way.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Here’s the thing: if Americans cared as much about America as we do about Britney Spears, this would be a really great place to live.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Plead the 45th Edition)“Trump’s argument is basically, ‘Yes, maybe I did shout “fire” in a crowded theater, but the people trampling each other were acting on their own.’ And these people who acted on their own, I wonder if you can use stupidity as a defense? You can plead insanity, why not?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Essentially they were using Trump’s own words against him. What they are arguing is that Trump — and I promise this is the only time you will hear me say this — knew what he was doing.” — JAMES CORDEN“Guys, come on, don’t call Trump in the middle of the riot. You just saw him at the rally a couple hours ago — you gotta be chill. You call the morning after the insurrection, you know? You gotta play the game!” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, how embarrassing is this for Trump? Even his supporters knew they could call him any time and he won’t be busy.” — TREVOR NOAH“Overall, these videos make it pretty obvious that Trump incited the rioters. They were wearing Trump hats, carrying Trump flags, and they all just watched Trump speak, and they were chanting, ‘Fight for Trump!’ Even that dog from ‘Blue’s Clues’ is like, ‘I need a challenge here, guys. We all know what this is, right?’” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, if one guy stormed the Capitol because he thought you said it to him, maybe you just can blame him. But if an entire stadium of people misunderstood you in the exact same way, I don’t know, man, that [expletive] on you.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingDesus and Mero got personal with their “life coach” Whoopi Goldberg.Also, Check This OutWiig and Mumolo in a musical number from the new film.Credit…Cate Cameron/LionsgateThe “Bridesmaids” co-writers Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo share the screen in their new collaboration, “Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar.”AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 100 Shares179 Views

      in Television

      Stephen Colbert Gets Serious About New Insurrection Evidence

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightStephen Colbert Gets Serious About New Insurrection Evidence“Because only by facing this truth will we have any hope of stopping it from happening again,” Colbert said. “Also, I’m pretty convinced it wasn’t antifa now.”“That’s right, there’s even more hard-to-watch video. Next up, deleted scenes from ‘Cats,’” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday night.Credit…CBSFeb. 11, 2021, 3:52 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Guilt by DissociationStephen Colbert brought some levity to former President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial on Wednesday after House managers presented powerful new video from the Jan. 6 riot at the Capitol, which Trump is accused of inciting.“That’s right, there’s even more hard-to-watch video. Next up, deleted scenes from ‘Cats.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTBut Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel also got serious to address the severity of the violence as shown. Colbert said he empathized with House managers because not only did they have to experience the attack and then relive it while presenting the footage as evidence, but they also had to do so “in front of Republican senators desperately trying to ignore that truth and desperately trying to treat it like it was a waste of time.”“But it’s not a waste of time, because whether or not the ex-president is impeached, or whether or not they vote to do the right thing to keep him from holding office again, it is important that one time, as a nation, we look this straight in the face and as it is laid out definitively for the unprecedented and premeditated violation that it is. Because only by facing this truth will we have any hope of stopping it from happening again. Also, I’m pretty convinced it wasn’t antifa now.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It was a very powerful presentation, much more than anything I’d seen before. I have no idea how you could watch that and vote for anything other than ‘guilty as charged.’ Trump should have been removed from office that day.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Despite the powerful evidence supplied by the House managers and objective reality, many G.O.P. senators seemed to be barely paying attention. Instead, they were seen explicitly not listening: feet up on their desks, reading books and reading briefing papers on other topics. Yes, other, more interesting topics like, ‘How does history tend to remember cowardly, fascist-enabling, worthless pieces of garbage?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Always weird when a violent insurrection has a director’s cut.” — JAMES CORDEN“A lot of Republicans saw the new footage and were like: ‘Wow, this is really horrifying. I’m not going to change my vote, but yikes.’” — JAMES CORDENBad ReviewsThe majority of other late-night monologues were dedicated to just how poorly Trump’s lawyers performed on Tuesday, as agreed upon by several Republicans — including Trump himself.“Today was a successful day for Donald Trump’s lawyers in that they did not speak.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The former president’s lawyers had the day off, and they needed it, because they’re still in reconstructive surgery from punching themselves in the face for two hours yesterday.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They never addressed key issues. They went off on meandering tangents. One guy cried while reading a poem. It was going so badly for the Republicans, I thought Ted Cruz was going to start another insurrection just to change the subject.” — TREVOR NOAH“Trump’s lawyer was so bad he actually flashed the Rudy signal over Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY FALLON“Republicans are like: ‘Wow, that defense was terrible. He couldn’t have made a worse case. Anyway, not guilty.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s the first time in history a president has been impeached a second time. He incited and cheered on a violent mob that breached the Capitol for the first time in 200 years, and injured 140 police officers in an attempt to overthrow democracy. You’d think his lawyers would be a little more prepared. Instead, Castor meandered aimlessly like he was auditioning to be on one of those sleep apps.” — SETH MEYERS“I left a voice mail on Ecstasy in 1997 that made more sense than this.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Man Camera Lawyer TV Edition)“Trump was not happy with how it went yesterday. They say the last time he was this mad was when he found out there was a Donald Trump Jr.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The one man who really did not enjoy Castor’s performance was his client, because reportedly during Castor’s opening statement, the used-POTUS was ‘almost screaming’ at the TV. When has he ever ‘almost’ screamed? Back in the White House, the TVs had so much spittle on them, they came with wiper blades.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“On one hand, Trump was furious. On the other hand, screaming at the TV all day made him feel like he was president again.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean first Giuliani, now these guys. Trump is really bad at picking an effective lawyer, which I chalk up as great news for Melania.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee made a case for raising the minimum wage on Wednesday’s “Full Frontal.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe rapper Cardi B will sit down with Jimmy Fallon on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJay-Z in concert in Virginia Beach in 2019. He’s on the list of nominees for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame released Wednesday.Credit…Brian Ach/Getty Images North America, via (Credit Too Long, See Caption)Tina Turner, Jay-Z and the Foo Fighters are among this year’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nominees.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 88 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Trump’s Trial: Stephen Colbert Experiences ‘Déjà Coup’

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightTrump’s Trial: Stephen Colbert Experiences ‘Déjà Coup’Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial kicked off on Tuesday with late-night hosts predicting it will end just like the first.“The country’s like a bar. The last president puked in the bathroom. Somebody’s got to clean it up, or we can’t use the bathroom anymore,” Stephen Colbert joked on Tuesday.Credit…CBSFeb. 10, 2021Updated 3:16 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Impeachment, the SequelThe late-night hosts on Tuesday night recapped the first day of former President Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial.“I got that real feeling of déjà coup,” said Stephen Colbert in his “Late Show” monologue.“It’s one year and four days since we finished up the last impeachment trial of the same president, February of 2020. Oh, we were so young then. I long for a simpler time, when people hiding from Nazis and not leaving their house for months were just the plots of ‘Jojo Rabbit’ and ‘Parasite.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I don’t know about you guys, but I am stuffed with wings and nachos from my impeachment trial party.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, two impeachments are historic, but just like Tom Brady, Trump won’t rest until he gets to seven.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today, Trump became the only president ever to face a second impeachment trial, which is pretty impressive when you consider he only showed up to work about half of the time. I mean, if Trump really applied himself as president, we could be on impeachment number, like, 35 by now.” — TREVOR NOAH“But you can definitely tell this impeachment is the sequel, because the sequel always has to turn things up to 11. The original impeachment was like: ‘Listen to this diplomat describe a phone call as you ponder the meaning of quid pro quo.’” — TREVOR NOAH“And I know that this vote might make the trial seem pointless now, yes, but just because we know how the trial will end, it doesn’t mean the trial shouldn’t take place. I mean, when you’re watching ‘Law & Order,’ right, do you turn it off in the first five minutes when the cops interview a dentist who obviously killed his patient to cover up an affair? Of course not! You watch the whole thing because then you get to say, ‘I knew it!’ when you end up being right.” — TREVOR NOAH“Today, 44 Republican Senators voted that the trial was unconstitutional, because they don’t want to have this trial. Well, tough nuts. The country’s like a bar. The last president puked in the bathroom. Somebody’s got to clean it up, or we can’t use the bathroom anymore. Oh, you’re the ones who decided to be a busboy. So grab a mop and do your job. But if you can’t find a mop, use Rand Paul’s hair.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The reason they’re even having this trial is because he sent maniacs on a panty raid of their office. They’re just too afraid to do the right thing because Trump and his bag of boiled nuts will then target them.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know what they say, gentlemen: see no evil, hear no evil makes you seem really evil.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Rambling Lawyer Edition)“After how it went today, I’m worried that Trump is gonna get the chair.” — TREVOR NOAH“Trump’s lawyer is giving the speech you give when you have to stall because the actual lawyer is stuck in traffic.” — TREVOR NOAH“Trump is probably watching this at home like: ‘What the hell is wrong with this guy? The ad on the side of the bus said he was the best. Why would he be on the bus if he’s not the best?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Castor was so rambling, there were times it seemed like his plan was to put everybody to sleep, then grab the Articles of Impeachment and just tiptoe out. Even C-SPAN tried to save their ratings by switching to live testimony from the House subcommittee on paint drying.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Even Joe Biden was like: ‘Come on, man. Wrap it up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“If the Senate had an orchestra pit, they’d be playing him off.” — JIMMY FALLON“Given who his boss is, I’m pretty sure that was his opening and closing statement. [As Trump] ‘You’re fired.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani was watching like, ‘Damn, this guy’s good.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Now, Castor only had a week to prepare for the trial and has never met with Trump in person, which is honestly a good legal strategy. Like, ‘Hey, man, the less I know, the better.’” — JAMES CORDEN“[Imitating Castor] I am the lead prosecutor — sorry, the defense — here to prove the president is guilty — sorry, innocent — and should be sent to jail — sorry, to Mar-a-Lago. Wow. I guess Freud’s mom’s got my penis, I mean, cat’s tongue!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJames Corden spoke with the newly minted four-time Super Bowl champion Rob Gronkowski on Tuesday’s “Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightKristen Wiig will catch up with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutCredit…Frazer Harrison/Getty ImagesMegan Mullally, a star of the animated Fox comedy “The Great North,” is inspired by TwinsthenewTrend pop music reaction videos on YouTube, vintage T-shirts and Rickie Lee Jones cover songs.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More