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      Jimmy Kimmel Has Doubts About Trump’s Religious Convictions

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      According to Kimmel, “MAGA Teresa” only attended the National Prayer Breakfast “because he doesn’t like it when people worship anyone other than him.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Put a Shirt On’President Trump attended the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington on Thursday. Jimmy Kimmel, who called him “MAGA Teresa,” said he only showed up “because he doesn’t like it when people worship anyone other than him.”“He covered a lot of subjects. He bragged about deporting immigrants, his war on diversity, fighting ‘transgenders’ — all the sacred teachings of Jesus.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump spoke today at the National Prayer Breakfast, in case you needed more proof that those don’t work.” — SETH MEYERS“While speaking today at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said, ‘None of us knows exactly when our time on Earth will be over.’ I don’t know, I’m thinking whenever R.F.K. Jr. gets confirmed.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump also told the audience we need to bring religion back, and who better to bring it back than the guy who sells ‘God Bless the U.S.A.’ bibles for $59.99.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of all the unbelievable things about Donald Trump, religious people believing he is also a religious person might be the toughest one to understand.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Honestly, if Trump met Jesus, he’d call him a loser, he’d tell him to get a haircut and put a shirt on.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Super Bowl LIX Edition)“Super Bowl Sunday, also known as ‘Get Drunk in a Friend of a Friend’s Weird Living Room Day,’ is imminent. Hope everyone has their friendship bracelets picked out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, between the game and the commercials, it’s going to be four straight hours of Patrick Mahomes on TV.” — JIMMY FALLON“Donald Trump will be there at the game. He said — this is fun — he said he’s going to let Elon pick the winner this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He will make history as the first sitting president to go to the Super Bowl. I think the reason Trump’s going to the Super Bowl, he can’t stand to have even one day where he’s on TV less than Taylor Swift.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Taylor Swift will also be in attendance to support her boyfriend, the Chiefs’ superstar tight end, Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I saw that this year’s Super Bowl will be watched in 180 countries. Yeah, well, 179 if we take over Canada by Saturday.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Oscar-winning actor Ke Huy Quan discussed his new role in the film “Love Hurts” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIn a new installment of the franchise, Smurfette and the other Smurfs leave their village for an adventure in the live-action world.Paramount PicturesA trailer for the upcoming “Smurfs” movie features Rihanna, who’ll be the voice of Smurfette. More

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      Late Night Weighs In on the ‘World’s Dumbest Trade War’

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      Jimmy Kimmel thinks President Trump decided not to impose tariffs on Mexico because he saw the guacamole bill for his Super Bowl party.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Tariff ManPresident Trump announced new tariffs on Canada and Mexico over the weekend but agreed to pause them for 30 days on Monday.Jimmy Kimmel called Trump’s tariffs “fake,” saying he was “pretending to issue tariffs so that Canada and Mexico can pretend to bend over for him, and then it’ll look like he’s the big hero.”“He’s like a toddler negotiating nap time with his parents.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“People are wondering why Trump would start a war with our closest allies, and he was like, ‘I didn’t say anything about Russia and North Korea.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but the last people you want to upset are your upstairs and downstairs neighbors.” — JIMMY FALLON“So now, we have a one-month cease-fire in what some liberal rag called The Wall Street Journal described as ‘the dumbest trade war in history.’ To which the Dallas Mavericks said, ‘Hold my Luka Dončić.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But you do have to hand it to him. Starting the ‘world’s dumbest trade war’ is an accomplishment to add to a very long list: first of all, world’s dumbest trade war, world’s dumbest Covid response, world’s dumbest climate policy, world’s dumbest hurricane map, world’s dumbest election interference, world’s dumbest wildfire response, world’s dumbest crowd size comparison, world’s dumbest insurrection, and world’s dumbest Eric. He’s like the Michael Phelps of the world’s dumbest stuff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“No American wakes up saying, ‘Damn Canada. We should really go after Canada.’ I mean, except for Kendrick Lamar. That dude has it out for Canadian rap.” — SETH MEYERS“I just hope cooler heads prevail and the countries involved in this dumb trade war can all get back to selling each other crap as soon as possible.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tequila Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Time Magazine’s Person of the Year Doesn’t Surprise Late Night

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      “Trump is the first man in history to be Time’s person of the year and McDonald’s employee of the month,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘America’s Main Character’Time magazine has named President-elect Donald Trump as its person of the year for 2024.“Trump is the first man in history to be Time’s person of the year and McDonald’s employee of the month,” Jimmy Fallon said. “History is being made!”“Trump said the honor feels just as exciting as the birth of his child, except he was present for the award.” — JIMMY FALLON“So it’s the second time he’s had the honor, with the first coming after his presidential win in 2016. That was also the same week Hillary Clinton canceled her subscription and smashed her server with a hammer.” — DANA PERINO, guest host of “Gutfeld!”“The editorial board mentioned Trump’s historic comeback, his impact on global politics and how we increased his votes from Blacks, Latinos and people named Biden.” — DANA PERINO“The difference: In 2016, the cover called him ‘President of the divided states of America.’ This year, it’s simply his name, even though there was plenty of room for ‘Cry harder, losers.’” — DANA PERINO“Now, obviously, Donald Trump is the person of the year. At this point, he’s basically America’s main character.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Sadly, there’s no one left to roll it up and spank him with it. Maybe Elon will do it for him, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“According to the Time website, the person of the year is bestowed upon ‘a person, group, or concept that had the biggest impact for good or for ill.’ Which, that’s him, all right. It was a no-brainer in every sense of the word.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“By the way, just to put Trump’s Time cover in context, it’s not exactly a mark of greatness. The president who currently holds the record for the most Time magazine covers, it isn’t a universally beloved one, like F.D.R., J.F.K. or George Washington. Not because Time wasn’t around in the 1700s, but because Washington was more of a People magazine time of guy.” — SETH MEYERS“But I guess once again, Time has not been kind to Joe Biden.” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Punchiest Punchlines (Clemency For Christmas Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Surprised by Luigi Mangione’s ‘Minifesto’

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      “He could’ve just made it a Yelp review: ‘American health care sucks. One star,’” Colbert said of the content of a notebook found with the crime suspect.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Rest Is Still UnwrittenLaw enforcement officials said they recovered a notebook from Luigi Mangione after he was arrested on Monday at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pa., in connection with the killing of the chief executive of United Healthcare, Brian Thompson. Officers said the notebook included detailed plans for the shooting last week.On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert expressed surprise over the brevity of the note’s 262 words. “That’s not a manifesto — that’s a ‘minifesto,’” Colbert said.“He could’ve just made it a Yelp review: ‘American health care sucks. One star.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The document basically rails against the health care industry and ends with, ‘I do apologize for any strife or traumas, but it had to be done.’ Well, at least he apologized. Reminds me of what Manson said after his murders: ‘Whoops, my bad!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s so crazy to think that Donald Trump working the French fry machine was only the second-weirdest thing to happen at a McDonald’s in Pennsylvania this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Police in Altoona report that they’ve been getting threats from Mangione’s fans, demanding he be released immediately. You know, I’ve been on TV just about nonstop for 29 years. This guy’s been in the news since Monday. He has fans threatening the police? Why do I feel like if I shot somebody, even my mother would be like, ‘Lock him up, teach him a lesson! It’s the only way he’s going to learn!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“OK, ‘I don’t really know what I’m talking about’ is a surprising thing to put in a manifesto. This is the first murder manifesto I’ve read that could have ended with ‘But no worries if not!’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“You never see the Taliban like, ‘Death to America, although we’re not experts, so, grain of salt.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Mangione has now been charged with second-degree murder, but he’s not pleading guilty, and he’s fighting attempts to extradite him to New York. Well, that makes sense — no one wants to be extradited to New York during the holidays. You’ve got to wait in a two-hour line just to be cavity searched at the M&M store.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Two More Weeks Until Christmas Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Chides Trump for Using Dr. Biden Photo to Hawk Cologne

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      The president-elect used a photo of Jill Biden smiling at him to promote his fragrances. Jimmy Kimmel thinks that’s because Melania has never smiled at him on camera.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Smell of ExcessAfter the first lady, Jill Biden, was photographed smiling at Donald Trump during the Notre-Dame Cathedral’s reopening ceremony on Saturday, the president-elect used the image to advertise his new fragrances on social media. (“A fragrance your enemies can’t resist!”)“He had to use that picture because he doesn’t have a picture of his own wife smiling at him,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.“Even after all these years, Trump still can’t tell when a woman is faking it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a rare moment of conciliation, one that would have given this country hope had it not immediately been undermined by the returning president releasing an actual cologne ad belittling and sexualizing said moment.” — JON STEWART“You won! You don’t have to push merch anymore. I find it hard to believe I’m saying this, but it’s beneath you.” — JON STEWART“Although, if you do zoom in on Jill Biden, you see she may just be holding her breath there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In response, Dr. Biden used the photo to sell her new line of pepper spray.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s perfect if you want to smell like a Big Mac that’s been sitting in a tanning bed and then thrown into the back of a Cybertruck.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Big Score Edition)“The New York Mets last night signed outfielder Juan Soto to a $765 million deal, stealing him from their hated crosstown rivals, the Yankees. And as a Mets fan, I have to say I am very excited to see how terribly this will inevitably go for us.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The New York Mets have reportedly signed former Yankees star Juan Soto to a 15-year, $765 million contract. And if you’re wondering how they can afford that, Mr. Met started an OnlyFans.” — SETH MEYERS“$765 million — not really the announcement you want to make to friends and family right before Christmas.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert and Billy Crystal shared their favorite lines from “When Harry Met Sally” on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe singer-songwriters Julien Baker and Torres will make their television debut as a country music duo on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutTaylor Swift at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey in May 2023. Jutharat Pinyodoonyachet for The New York TimesTaylor Swift’s “Eras” tour brought in $2 billion in gross ticket sales, double that of any other concert tour in history. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Doubts Trump’s Grasp of Economics

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      Kimmel called the president-elect’s plan to hit Mexico, Canada and China with sweeping tariffs “the dumbest thing he’s come up with since Don Jr.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Just Tariff-icPresident-elect Donald J. Trump said he would impose sweeping tariffs on all goods from Canada, Mexico and China on his first day in office.As Jimmy Kimmel noted, economists say that would lead to higher prices. “Almost everyone who knows anything about economics believes these tariffs to be a terrible idea,” Kimmel said.“Some say this is the dumbest thing he’s come up with since Don Jr.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Whoever would have guessed that the mail-order steak salesman who declared bankruptcy six times would be so bad with money?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you want to purchase a tie from the Donald J. Trump collection, you’d better get it immediately, or it’s going to cost an extra 10 percent.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Apparently, Trump’s tariffs on Mexico will cause the price of Modelo and Corona beer to go up. Every MAGA supporter heard and was like, ‘Well, guess it’s time to forgive Bud Light.’” — JIMMY FALLON“So by next year, if you want extra guacamole, it’ll be cheaper to go get it.” — SETH MEYERS“And poor Canada is like, ‘What did we do? I mean, be honest: Is this because of Drake?’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Thanksgiving Edition)“Over the next 48 hours, millions of Americans will travel back to their family homes to be reminded once again of why they left in the first place.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I read that the most popular time to eat Thanksgiving dinner is between 2 and 3 p.m. It’s strange. It’s like for one day we all become President Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON“Serving dinner at 2 p.m. is a polite way of telling your guests, ‘We’d love to get you out of here as soon as possible.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Luckily, there’s no turkey shortage this year, though. Yeah. I remember the year Biden had to walk up to the turkeys he’d just pardoned and said, ‘Fellas, I’ve got some bad news.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingGwen Stefani joined Jimmy Fallon and the Roots for a spirited rendition of her hit “Hollaback Girl,” played on classroom instruments.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJennifer Hudson will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutMattel’s version of Glinda from “Wicked.”MattelThe “Wicked” merchandising juggernaut includes Barbies, Crocs and hair dryers. More

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      Late Night Makes Its Last Jokes About Biden Pardoning Turkeys

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      Although Thanksgiving was still three days away, “the turkeys looked at Biden and said, ‘We better get this done,’” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Lucky BirdsPresident Biden pardoned his last two Thanksgiving turkeys on Monday.Although the holiday was still three days away, “the turkeys looked at Biden and said, ‘We better get this done,’” Jimmy Fallon said.“Today on the South Lawn of the White House, President Biden pardoned two turkeys from Minnesota named Peach and Blossom. Those aren’t turkey names. Peach and Blossom sound like the special guests at a bachelor party.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden today presided over the annual White House turkey pardon. Well, he didn’t exactly pardon them, he just turned the investigation over to Merrick Garland, and then it just kind of petered out.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s kind of miraculous that these turkeys were able to get pardons without Ryan Murphy even doing a show about them on Netflix.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, President Biden presided over the annual White House turkey pardon and granted clemency to Peach, Blossom and, before anyone noticed, Hunter.” — SETH MEYERS“Yep, Biden promised that the turkeys would not get killed this November. Democrats were like, ‘Hey, that’s what you said to us.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I hope everyone enjoyed the pardoning, because next year, under Trump, those turkeys will be Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani.” — JIMMY FALLONBah, HumbugOn his last episode of “Real Time” for the year, Bill Maher argued that Americans should forget politics and enjoy Christmas.“Enough! It’s [expletive] Christmas, and you will act like it,” Maher said. “’Tis the season, and all that.”We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Can’t Believe Matt Gaetz Won’t Be Attorney General

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      Jimmy Kimmel said the scandal-ridden ex-congressman’s withdrawal was “exciting news for Judge Jeanine Pirro, who will be our next attorney general.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Distraction From the DistractionsMatt Gaetz, who was President-elect Donald J. Trump’s choice for attorney general despite allegations that he’d used drugs and had sex with a 17-year-old, withdrew his name from consideration on Thursday.Jimmy Kimmel said the ex-congressman from Florida had “crawled back under the rock of cocaine he scurried out from under.”“He said he decided to take his MAGA hat out of the ring because his nomination was becoming a distraction to the critical work of the Trump/Vance transition. Which is true: President-elect Trump should not be distracted from his critical work of creating other distractions.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gaetz said he was honored that Trump nominated him, and he looks forward to spending more time posing as a high school senior on the Roblox Reddit page.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“See, the thing is, Trump did this wrong. He did it in the wrong order. First, you nominate Diddy for attorney general, then Matt Gaetz.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This Gaetz situation is a setback for Trump, but it’ll all be forgotten as soon as he nominates new surgeon general Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“All of this attention on this sex criminal was unfairly distracting from the critical work of all the other sex criminals who have been nominated.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And while this is sad news for Gaetz and his fans, it is potentially very exciting news for Judge Jeanine Pirro, who will be our next attorney general.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Poor Rudy Giuliani. He has to be on the twin bed in the office his son converted into a guest room right now, going, ‘What about me?’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Withdrawal Edition)“Former Florida congressman Matt Gaetz withdrew today as President-elect Trump’s nominee for attorney general. This puts a lot of pressure on Trump, because now there’s not much time to find somebody worse.” — SETH MEYERS“Matt Gaetz is out? But his nomination was only eight days old! Once again, he can’t even make it to 18.” — SETH MEYERS“If you’ve ever dreamed of being an attorney general, update your résumé, because they have an opening.” — DESI LYDICThe Bits Worth WatchingGwyneth Paltrow and DJ Khaled played a game of “True Confessions” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutRachel Elizabeth Seed’s mother, Sheila Turner Seed, in “A Photographic Memory.”Capariva FilmsRachel Elizabeth Seed’s new documentary, “A Photographic Memory,” weaves meditations on memory and the nature of photography with a personal narrative about her mother, a photographer who died when she was 18 months old. More