Late Night with Seth Meyers (TV Program)

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      Late Night Looks Forward to the Trump-Biden Debates

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      “Just like that, they’re going head to head, toe to toe, mano a mango,” Stephen Colbert said of two forthcoming presidential debates in June and September.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Mano a Mango’President Biden and Donald Trump agreed to two forthcoming presidential debates on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert joked that “the debate over debating is finally over.”“Just like that, they’re going head to head, toe to toe, mano a mango.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, Trump agreed to the debate. He said, ‘I’ll be there, assuming it’s OK with my parole officer.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The first debate will be next month, which is the earliest a presidential debate has ever been, and, if we’re being honest, an early-bird debate feels right for these guys.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s really quite something to challenge your opponent to a debate anytime, anywhere, anyplace while you’re standing behind barricades at a mandatory court appearance for your criminal trial.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Let’s Get Ready to Ramble Edition)“Yep, Biden and Trump will meet June 27 on CNN, and one of Biden’s debate conditions was not having an audience, so that explains why it’s on CNN.” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden is looking forward to laying out his 2024 agenda, while Trump is just happy to go somewhere where nobody will draw him while he sleeps.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump jumped right on the offer, posting, ‘Just tell me when — I’ll be there. Let’s get ready to rumble!’ Rumble? I’ve seen your rallies. I think you mean, ‘Let’s get ready to ramble.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingCast members from the new Broadway adaptation of “The Great Gatsby” performed the song “My Green Light” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe actor and humorist Nick Offerman will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutJoel Grey and Eddie Redmayne each have played the Emcee in the Broadway classic “Cabaret”New York TimesJoel Grey and Eddie Redmayne discussed their shared history of playing the Emcee in “Cabaret” several times over. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Celebrates 10 Years of Hosting ‘The Tonight Show’

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      Fallon thanked his wife, his kids, “and, most of all, my lawyer, Michael Cohen.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.What a Difference a Decade MakesJimmy Fallon celebrated 10 years of hosting “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday.“Ten years,” Jimmy Fallon said. “It’s hard to believe, when I got the job, Joe Biden was just a fresh-faced 71-year-old.”“That’s right, we’ve been on the air for one pandemic, two presidential elections and 300 ‘Fast and the Furious’ movies.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, I want to say thank you to my wife, my kids, and, most of all, my lawyer, Michael Cohen.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Cohen in Court Edition)“Former President Trump appeared to fall asleep yesterday during Michael Cohen’s testimony for a full half-hour. Again? You know, I was excited for this trial, but it seems like the only thing we’re accomplishing is making sure Trump is well rested before the election.” — SETH MEYERS“During his testimony, Cohen laid out tons of evidence, including tapes, emails, photos and calendar events. It’s pretty impressive — one of Trump’s lawyers might actually win a case.” — JIMMY FALLON“Cohen’s testimony seems to prove that Trump was directly involved in paying off Stormy Daniels. For instance, yesterday, Cohen told the court that after first resisting, Trump eventually ordered him to pay Daniels $130,000, telling him, ‘Just do it.’ In response, Nike has changed their slogan to ‘Yay! Sneakers!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingMs. Lauryn Hill and YG Marley performed a medley of “Ex-Factor/Survival/Praise Jah In The Moonlight” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightAmy Ryan, who stars in the Apple+ series “Doubt,” will sit down with Desi Lydic on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutJustice Smith and David Alan Grier in “The American Society of Magical Negroes.”Tobin Yelland/Focus FeaturesRecent Black satires like “American Fiction” and “The American Society of Magical Negroes” have used absurdist humor to examine race, with mixed results. More

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      Stephen Colbert Finds Donald Trump ‘Past His Expiration Date’

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      Michael Cohen’s testimony gave the host plenty of fodder, especially when he described Donald Trump speculating about going back “on the market.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Only One Way to Get Paid’Donald Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, took the stand on Monday in the former president’s hush money trial.“Now, you never want to be the middleman between your boss and a porn star,” Colbert said of Cohen. “Sure, it sounds titillating when they ask, but eventually it’s just a tangle of limbs, and you’re just kind of watching.”“Michael Cohen testified today that former President Trump once said that he wouldn’t be single for very long if former first lady Melania Trump were to leave him. So, yeah, he wrote his own vows.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Michael Cohen testified today that Trump once asked him how long he’d be single if Melania were to leave him and said, ‘How long do you think I’d be on the market for? Not long.’ On the market? You’re a 78-year-old psychopath with massive debt. That’s not a market, that’s a lost-and-found bin.” — SETH MEYERS“Coincidentally, ‘not long’ is how Stormy described it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But it’s true — he would be off the market soon. I mean, he is clearly past his expiration date.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During his testimony today, Cohen also said that he was never paid for early legal work he did for Trump. Of course not! He doesn’t pay his lawyers, he doesn’t pay his contractors. There’s really only one way to get paid by Donald Trump, and it is not worth it.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Hannibal Lecter Edition)“At this rally, Trump talked about the ‘Silence of the Lambs’ character Hannibal Lecter and said he was a ‘wonderful man.’ First of all, Hannibal Lecter isn’t real. He’s a character played by Anthony Hopkins, a wonderful man who is real. Second, the character Hannibal is not a wonderful man, he’s a cannibal who murdered a bunch of people. And third, please tell me this is not your VP announcement.” — SETH MEYERS“What is going on? I’m no political expert, but maybe don’t keep saying, ‘the late, great Hannibal Lecter.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Oh, I love ‘Silence of the Lamb.’ It’s one of my favorite movies right up there with ‘Star War,’ “Dance with Wolf’ and ‘Jaw.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“‘Late great’? In none of the stories does Hannibal Lecter die, and Sir Anthony Hopkins is very much still alive. Does Trump just think a character dies when he turns off the T.V.?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSnoop Dogg and Jimmy Fallon wore matching American tracksuits on Monday to celebrate the upcoming Paris Olympics.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe “All Fours” author Miranda July will appear on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Appropriate,” Sarah Paulson aims to present “a fully realized person up there that you can have some connectivity to.”Matthew Leifheit for The New York TimesThe actress Sarah Paulson received a Tony Award nomination for her return to Broadway in “Appropriate.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Recaps Stormy Daniels’s Testimony in Court

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      “Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Quite a dayOn Thursday, former President Donald Trump’s defense attorneys concluded their cross-examination of Stormy Daniels.“And I’ll tell you, it was quite a day to be a stenographer. These are actual phrases that were used in court today: ‘Human toilet,’ ‘Orange turd’ and ‘Make America horny again.’ And print those out and hang them on the Smithsonian wall.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During her cross-examination today, one of Trump’s lawyers asked Stormy Daniels, ‘You made all this up, right?’ A strategy that immediately backfired when Trump yelled, ‘No, she didn’t! We had sex!’” — SETH MEYERS“Today, former President Trump’s attorneys finished their cross-examination of Stormy Daniels, and they accused her of lying and hawking merchandise for personal gain. Trump was like, ‘This also feels like a shot at me, too.’” — JIMMY FALLON“[imitating Trump] And for more on why it’s so wrong to be a sleazy money-grubbing merch seller, please buy my God Bless America Donald Trump Bible.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Heated and Intense Edition)“Today’s cross-examination was described as ‘heated’ and ‘intense,’ which coincidentally are the only two settings on Trump’s tanning bed.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was like, ‘If you think that’s bad, you should see the texts I’m getting from Melania.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former President Trump appeared to briefly fall asleep in court again this morning during adult film star Stormy Daniels’s testimony. Because in real life, you can’t fast-forward the scenes where the actors are talking.” — SETH MEYERS“But this was not her first rodeo, and they would have known that if they would have seen her movie, ‘My Third Rodeo.’ Very good. It’s part of a series.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJohn Della Volpe, the polling director at the Harvard Institute of Politics, sat down with Jon Stewart to discuss his new book “Fight: How Gen Z is Channeling Their Fear and Passion to Save America” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutCass Elliot performing on her television special “Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore” in September 1973. After she went solo, she found it hard to shake her nickname.CBS Photo Archive, via Getty ImagesFor 50 years, singer Cass Elliott’s talent has been overshadowed by a hurtful rumor about her death. More

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      Late Night Reacts to the Worm in R.F.K. Jr.’s Brain

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      “This explains everything, and nothing,” Stephen Colbert said about the presidential hopeful’s newly reported parasite.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Food for ThoughtThe presidential hopeful Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said during a 2012 deposition that doctors told him a parasite had eaten part of his brain.“This explains everything, and nothing,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.“I just want to say to any R.F.K. Jr. fans who might be watching, do not despair. Just because he has sworn in a deposition that he has parasitic brain damage doesn’t mean he’s going to drop out, because Bobby Kennedy Jr. does not know the meaning of the word ‘quit’ — ’cause that information was in the part of the brain that the worm ate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“His family’s like, ‘It is true, but it still doesn’t explain why he’s like that.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And this is strange: Instead of using dewormer, he injected himself with a Covid vaccine.” — JIMMY FALLON“Apparently, the worm was giving him all his ideas, like in ‘Ratatouille.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t know what’s worse — that R.F.K. Jr. had a worm that was eating his brain or that his brain is so poisoned that it killed the worm.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Cause of death: starvation.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“For a guy who seems to believe doctors are con artists trying to scam you into getting a vaccine, he sure did get to one fast when a worm started eating his brain.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The inside of his head is basically the movie ‘Dune,’ but you should definitely vote for him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The New York Times today published a report on independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s health issues, including a dead worm in his brain. Or as that’s known in Libertarian circles, a running mate.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Kristi Noem’s Press Tour Edition)“Former President Trump said that South Dakota governor Kristi Noem has had a ‘rough couple of days.’ Said Noem, ‘Who said ‘ruff’?” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, she needs more bad press like she needs a hole in her dog.” — SETH MEYERSWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Wants the Dirty Details From Stormy Daniels

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      The host disagreed with a judge who said Daniels could skip some of the specifics of her encounter with Donald Trump. “Some of us are trying to host a show here, OK?”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Stormy Day in CourtStormy Daniels took the stand to testify in former President Donald Trump’s criminal trial on Tuesday. Jimmy Kimmel called it “a very Stormy day for everyone’s favorite former president.”“The prosecution today called their star witness — their porn star witness.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Stormy Daniels took the stand this morning and, for Donald, I can only imagine, the nervous farting was off the charts.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Even the judge was pumped. He was like, ‘Please welcome to the stand, Stormy Daniels!’” — JIMMY FALLON“The judge said Stormy could testify about her sexual relationship with Trump, but also said, ‘We don’t need to know the details.’ And see, now that’s where I have to object. Yes, we do need to know the details. Some of us are trying to host a show here, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ahead of Stormy Daniels’s testimony today in former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial, one of the prosecutors told Judge Juan Merchan that Daniels will not describe Trump’s genitalia because it would violate the gag order.” — SETH MEYERS“She said they had sex in the missionary position, and that Trump told her she reminded him of his daughter. Feels like we should lock him up just for that, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial, adult film star Stormy Daniels testified that she and Trump had sex ‘in missionary position.’ ‘Don’t even think about it!’ shouted Judge Merchan to the sketch artist.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Honeybunch Edition)“Adult film star Stormy Daniels testified today in former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial. So Trump technically slept with her again.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to reports of Trump falling asleep during the trial“During former President Trump’s criminal hush-money trial, adult film star Stormy Daniels testified that she spanked Trump with a rolled-up magazine that had his face on the cover. And I think it’s weird that the hotel even had a copy of ‘Bankruptcy Aficionado.’” — SETH MEYERSWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Cracks on Trump Being Held in Contempt of Court (Again)

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      Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump will likely end up in jail “because he can’t stop talking about the case. It’s like trying to get a dog to stop licking itself.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.11th Time’s the Charm?On Monday, the judge in Donald Trump’s criminal trial held him in contempt for the 10th time, threatening jail time if the former president continues to violate a gag order.Jimmy Kimmel said that he thinks Trump will end up in jail “because he can’t stop talking about the case. It’s like trying to get a dog to stop licking itself.”“This is Trump’s 10th violation, and we’re only on Day 12 of the trial. He’s already paid $9,000 in fines for the first nine, which doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is a lot for Eric, who now won’t be getting his allowance this week.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Again? I’ve got deja woo hoo!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Please, you think Trump is scared of jail? That place is full of mobsters and white supremacists. He’ll walk into jail the way Norm walks into Cheers.” — SETH MEYERS“You’ve done it now, Donald. If you violate that gag order for the 11th time, the judge is going to really consider jail time. I mean, he’s strongly contemplating the possibility of consequences for your actions. Just one more chance!” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Sending the former president on a trip to Bar-A-Lago, according to Judge Merchan, is ‘the last thing I want to do,’ which is funny because it’s the first thing I would want to do. It’s like No. 1 on my list.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And how would that even work? I mean, would they give him a cavity search? God help whoever gets that gig. They might find Vivek Ramaswamy living up there like a Keister elf.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say based on how much he’s complaining about conditions in the courtroom, he would hate jail.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (All Dogs Go to Heaven Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Wants to Testify at Donald Trump’s Criminal Trial

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      “I think I can keep Trump awake during the trial,” Kimmel said after learning that text messages about his talk show were entered as evidence in the case.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Another Historic FirstDuring Donald Trump’s criminal trial on Thursday, a series of text messages between Michael Cohen and Keith Davidson was entered into evidence containing several references to “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Kimmel said he was excited, proud, and “exhilarated, even, because from here on, we aren’t just following the Donald Trump drama in New York, we are part of it now.”“It’s the first time — I don’t want to brag — but first time a late-night talk show has been introduced into evidence at the criminal trial for a president of the United States. Johnny Carson didn’t get that with Nixon — we got it here.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Suffice it to say that when Ryan Murphy makes the nine-part mini-series about this for Fubo, I will be in it. I would assume someone like George Clooney or maybe Chris Hemsworth will be playing me. Guillermo, you will be in it. You’ll be played by — you’ll be played by Pedro Pascal.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m sick of being out of the court — I want to be in it. Why was I not asked to testify? It’s outrageous! I’m going to start suing people!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I think I can keep Trump awake during the trial.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (More Trump Takes Edition)“Yesterday was a day off from the trial, so Trump jetted off to Wisconsin and Michigan to perform his hit one-man show, ‘Complaining for Applause.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Prosecutors argued today that former President Trump should be sanctioned again for violating his gag order. Apparently, he talks in his sleep.” — SETH MEYERS“The courtroom sketch artist hates him. I mean, absolutely, she turned him into the hunchback of ‘Bloatra Dame.’ It’s like his tongue is about to shoot out and get a fly on it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Scientists in England recently revealed the facial reconstruction of a Neanderthal woman that was buried about 75,000 years ago in a cave. Or it might have just been another courtroom sketch.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingKate Hudson made her T.V. performance debut on Thursday’s “Tonight Show” with the song “Gonna Find Out” from her forthcoming album, “Glorious.”Also, Check This OutRichard Gadd and Jessica Gunning star in “Baby Reindeer,” a semi-autobiographical Netflix mini-series in which Gadd plays a version of himself.Ed Miller/NetflixThe Netflix hit “Baby Reindeer” is based on a true story from the life of creator and star Richard Gadd. More