The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (TV Program)

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      Late Night Tackles the Attacks on Tesla

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      Jordan Klepper said no one should be blowing up Elon Musk’s cars, “especially because if you just wait a few minutes, they’ll probably do it by themselves.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Where There’s SmokeIn recent weeks, Tesla has been targeted by vandals, who have set the company’s cars on fire and defaced dealership storefronts with messages criticizing Elon Musk, its owner. On Wednesday’s “Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper said no one should be blowing up Teslas — “especially because if you just wait a few minutes, they’ll probably do it by themselves.”On Fox News this week, Musk spoke with Sean Hannity and, Klepper said, “made the case for his victimhood.”“I shouldn’t have to explain this to Elon, but it’s not about the Teslas. Teslas are actually pretty cool as a car. It’s got that all-glass thing going on, kind of like a popemobile that [expletive]. It’s got door handles that are hard to find, which is what everybody wants in a door handle. Everything in the car is electronic, so if it malfunctions, you just drown in it, you know? It’s like a free coffin. It’s cool!” — JORDAN KLEPPER“I don’t think people, though, are mad at you because of the Teslas, Elon. If I were to hazard a guess about why they’d be mad, it might be because, in the last several weeks, you fired tens of thousands of federal workers, you made cuts to veterans’ care, lifesaving foreign aid and food banks.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Or, here — here’s another guess: Maybe people are mad at you because you don’t seem to know what the [expletive] you’re doing!” — JORDAN KLEPPER“And here’s the thing: I get that people are upset. Burning a car might not be great for the environment. I don’t think that’s what they had in mind when they invented the electric car.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Let me see if I can explain it for you: When you pull out a chain saw to celebrate firing thousands of people, they get mad.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (J.F.K. Files Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Parodies Trump’s Podcast-Length Call with Putin

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      The “Tonight Show” host said President Trump had spent most of the call “trying to sell Putin a Cybertruck.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.To and From Russia With LovePresident Trump and Vladimir Putin had a nearly three-hour phone conversation on Tuesday, during which Putin said he’d agree to a partial cease-fire in Russia’s war against Ukraine.On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon said that Trump spent most of the call “trying to sell Putin a Cybertruck.””[imitating Trump] Think of it as a mini-tank with a mind of its own.” — JIMMY FALLON“Three hours. That’s not a phone call, that’s a podcast: [imitating Putin] ‘And now a message from ZipRecruiter.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Putting Trump on the phone with Putin is like putting your grandma on the phone with a Nigerian prince. [imitating grandmother] ‘This fellow is so charming!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Putin agreed to nothing today. People keep asking if Trump is getting played by Putin, which is like asking if ‘Hava Nagila’ is getting played at a bar mitzvah.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But both sides said the call went well, which makes sense, because they’re both on the same side.” — JIMMY FALLON“And, yeah, Russia actually described the call as ‘historic and epic.’ And nothing makes me feel safe like a happy Russia.” — JIMMY FALLON“But the White House said Putin agreed to a partial cease-fire. At least they think he did — it was tough to hear on the phone with Elon’s kids playing tag in the background.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Nine Months Later Edition)“Here’s some good news: Today, the Boeing astronauts who were stranded at the International Space Station for nine months finally returned to Earth. Welcome! Right now, they’re the first people in history to honestly text someone, ‘Sorry, just saw this.’”— JIMMY FALLON“Today, the astronauts were, like, ‘I just want to get home, watch “Joker 2,” make a three-egg omelet and dip my toes in the Gulf of Mexico. I can’t wait.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Wait till they find out what’s been going on down here — they might go back up.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jon Stewart Isn’t Falling for Trump’s Golf Tournament ‘Win’

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      After the president claimed victory at his own club, Stewart compared him to “the Make-a-Wish Batman kid: ‘Hey, look at that, Donald. You caught all the criminals.’” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Hole in NonePresident Trump declared on Sunday that he’d won a championship at Trump International Golf Club in Florida — not the first time he’d claimed victory at one of his own clubs.Jon Stewart mocked Trump’s announcement with some well-placed air quotes on Monday’s “Daily Show.”“Oh, he ‘won the tournament’ at ‘Trump International’? How did that happen?” Stewart said.“This dude’s whole life, he’s like the Make-a-Wish Batman kid: ‘Hey, look at that, Donald. You caught all the criminals.’” — JON STEWART“Look, I’m opposed to anyone rolling back American democracy, but I do tip the cap to any 78-year-old winning a golf tournament.” — JON STEWART“And, by the way, still having enough energy left to stroll into the command center in his golf attire to bomb the [expletive] out of Yemen! Yeah. Now, look, anyone can bomb the [expletive] out of Yemen after nine holes, but 18?” — JON STEWART“Who are the other players in this tournament? I mean, seriously, are there other golfers, or is it just Eric with his Fisher-Price clubs?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I want to see a full 580-page investigation of this tournament. I want to know everything. I want scorecards, I want video, I want affidavits from the caddies, I want a forensic investigation of every divot he didn’t bother to replace. How is it possible that this guy beats every other golfer every year?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (St. Patrick’s Day Edition)“Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Once again, it is cabbage’s night to shine tonight.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know what? The way things have been going lately, it’s nice to have an excuse to drink on a Monday.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, people getting lit on a Monday morning. For one day, everyone gets to feel what it’s like to be a pilot for Southwest.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Is Underwhelmed by Trump’s Address to Congress

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      Jimmy Kimmel noted that the president’s speech started late: “I guess they were waiting for that last coat of shellac to dry on his face.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The White POTUS’President Trump addressed a joint session of Congress on Tuesday night. Jimmy Kimmel called it “a very special episode of ‘The White POTUS.’”“His speech started late. I guess they were waiting for that last coat of shellac to dry on his face.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Members of the Trump family were there: Eric was there, Lara, Don Jr., Jared, Ivanka, even Melania showed up. So Democrats weren’t the only people who hate him there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Things got off to a big start when Trump and JD Vance held hands and sang a medley from ‘Wicked.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He laid out his MAGA-genda for the next four years. They include wildly unpopular tariffs, abandoning our allies, buddying up to Russia, tax cuts for the rich and turning Gaza into Atlantic City — all the reasons blue-collar America voted for this man.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump said our momentum is back, our spirit is back, our pride is back. And not the gay kind, either: the regular pride.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What he’s talking about, I have no idea. The stock market’s down, consumer confidence is down, the dollar is down. The only things that are high are egg prices and Elon Musk.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In the end, Trump’s first address to Congress was much like his first six weeks: filled with useful lies, and applauded by useless idiots.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He told our farmers to have a lot of fun and said the days of unelected bureaucrats are over, with Elon standing right there clapping like an imbecile. Yay for unelected bureaucrats.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And the days of rule by unelected billionaires have just begun. Elon! Take a bow, Elon! You paid for it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It was quite a night. There were about 400 people in attendance — 300 were members of Congress, and 100 were Elon’s kids.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, the night was pretty much a welcome back party for Trump, Republicans and measles.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bad Neighbor Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Desi Lydic: Trump Just ‘Put a Cover Charge on America’

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      “It’s $5 million to get in, but he’ll waive it if you bring in three hot girls with you,” Lydic said of President Trump’s “gold card” visa idea on the “Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Putting a Cover Charge on AmericaPresident Donald Trump announced his new “gold card” program on Tuesday, which would price American citizenship at $5 million.“Oh, green card privileges plus. See, I was still getting America with ads,” Desi Lydic said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”“Quick question: If I’m unhappy with America, can I cancel my subscription after seven days?” — DESI LYDIC“Did this guy just put a cover charge on America? It’s $5 million to get in, but he’ll waive it if you bring in three hot girls with you.” — DESI LYDIC“I mean, I guess it beats the old way of becoming a citizen, which was to marry Donald Trump, but still.” — DESI LYDIC“I feel like immigrant stories are going to be a lot less inspiring in the future: ‘My grandfather came to this country with nothing but $5 million and the clothes in his custom Louis Vuitton five-piece trunk set.’” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Land of $5 Million Citizenship Edition)“One group that Trump embraced in the last 24 hours is immigrants. Well, rich ones, because yesterday, Trump announced he’s going to offer gold card visas for $5 million to rich foreigners, echoing the eternal words on the Statue of Liberty: ‘Give me your tired, your poor — psych! Gimme 5 million bucks, [expletive]! We buyin’ bottles in the clurb.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“What a good idea. I’ve always said our immigration system should run more like the customer rewards program at a casino in Atlantic City.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This is basically what he does at Mar-a-Lago. He’s selling memberships to a country club, but this club is actually our country.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The land of the free, and by ‘free,’ I mean, five million bucks.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert asked Wednesday night’s “Late Show” guest Guy Fieri how he thought he’d fare as a contestant on his own reality cooking competition, “Tournament of Champions.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightBob the Drag Queen will appear on Thursday’s “After Midnight.”Also, Check This OutBob Dylan’s earliest demo tape, a reel-to-reel recording of a performance in Greenwich Village in 1961, is up for auction.via RR AuctionA reel-to-reel recording of a 20-year-old Bob Dylan performing a six-song set at a Manhattan coffeehouse in 1961 is now up for auction. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: ‘The Whole Country Is a Fyre Festival Right Now’

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      “I think it might be time to give the planet to the apes, because we’re finished,” Kimmel said on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fired FestFederal employees have been getting mixed messages about whether to respond to a mass email from Elon Musk, threatening to fire them if they didn’t justify their employment.On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel said the nation’s civil servants were “as confused as Elon’s kids were when they realized their father named them after a phone number.”“Elon and his musketeers — they sent an email to all federal employees ordering them to list five things they did at work last week. Trump loved this idea — he said it was ‘genius,’ and he said anyone who didn’t respond to the email would be ‘fired or semi-fired.” Which, what if that was his catchphrase on ‘The Apprentice’? ‘Meat Loaf, you’re fired. Or semi-fired.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“OK, now I understand. It’s somewhat voluntary, but if you don’t respond, he guesses you get fired. Thanks for clearing that up.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“At this point, how is anybody supposed to know what to do with all this confusing information? Forget running the government; these clowns couldn’t get 10 bridesmaids to a paint-and-sip.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This email created chaos throughout our government. Some agencies, like the F.B.I., told their employees just to ignore it; others, like the V.A., demanded that employees respond. At H.H.S., employees were told they could respond if they wanted to but should assume that what they write will be read by malign foreign actors. What? Russell Brand’s going to get these?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Kash Patel told the F.B.I., ‘Don’t respond to that email.’ Tulsi Gabbard said, ‘Don’t respond to that email.’ Pete Hegseth responded to that email at 2 a.m., saying, ‘U up?’” — DESI LYDIC“And maybe the craziest part of all of it is Elon Musk has no official authority to fire anyone. He’s not an elected official — he wasn’t appointed, he wasn’t confirmed. Who knew you could fire people at a place you don’t even work? I might try it at Chipotle sometime just to see what happens.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s confusing. When you walk in the White House and say ‘Who is in charge?’ everyone just shrugs like they’re working at Lids.” — JIMMY FALLON“I think it might be time to give the planet to the apes, because we’re finished.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The whole country is a Fyre Festival right now, and Elon Musk is soaking the mattresses.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Fyre Fest: The Sequel Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Laughs at DOGE’s Work Force Demand

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      “It’s like the government is being run by BuzzFeed,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday about Elon Musk’s work-tracking request to federal employees.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Return to SenderOn Saturday, Elon Musk emailed federal employees and asked them to respond with their top five accomplishments during the previous workweek or risk being fired.“It’s like the government is being run by BuzzFeed,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.“It’s not just that they’re firing thousands of federal workers; it is the glee with which they’re firing. Ordinarily, you have some compassion when you lay people off — you wish them well, you thank them for their work. Not MAGA. Not the DOGE Bros.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Federal workers who got this email had no idea what to do, and their Trump administration bosses didn’t seem to know, either. New Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard told personnel at spy agencies not to respond. F.B.I. Director Kash Patel told F.B.I. staff to pause any responses, and Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. sent out an email saying, ‘Free roadkill in the break room!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Our federal work force is in the clutches of a heartless billionaire who wants to colonize Mars with vehicles shaped like his penis, by which I mean Cybertrucks. He should see a doctor.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I mean, seriously, if that guy walked into your office and told you he was there to start making cuts, everybody would jump on him and put him in a headlock, right? You’d zip-tie him and hold him until the cops showed up.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Five Things I Did Last Week Edition)“Well, guys, I’m having an odd day. This morning I got an email from NBC asking what I accomplished last week.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, they need to respond with five accomplishments from the last week. Federal workers wrote back: ‘I received this email, I opened this email, I read this email, I laughed at this email, and I deleted this email.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He followed up by tweeting, ‘Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation.’ Now, obviously, the only proper email response to that is: ‘What did I do last week? Your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom, and your mom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Of course, the workers were furious, mostly about getting a work email on a Saturday.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJon Oliver scrutinized Facebook’s new posting policies on Sunday’s episode of “Last Week Tonight.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe “St. Denis Medical” star Wendi McLendon-Covey will sit down with Desi Lydic on Tuesday’s “The Daily Show.”Also, Check This Out“Leigh Bowery,” by Fergus Greer (1988), from the exhibition “Leigh Bowery!” at Tate Modern in London.Fergus Greer. Courtesy of The Michael Hoppen GalleryA new Leigh Bowery exhibition at Tate Modern will introduce the artist’s work to a broader audience. More

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      Late Night Braces for the Reign of R.F.K. Jr., Health Czar

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      “Bobby Brainworm is on the job,” Jimmy Kimmel said after President Trump’s nominee for health secretary was confirmed and sworn in.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bobby BrainwormOn Thursday, the Senate confirmed Robert Kennedy Jr., known to late night viewers for his vaccine skepticism and strange encounters with animals, as the secretary of health and human services. Jimmy Kimmel urged Americans not to worry about the rise of measles now that “Bobby Brainworm is on the job.”“Mitch McConnell was the only Republican to vote no. Mitch McConnell is 82 years old. He survived polio as a kid, and thanks to R.F.K. Jr, polio might get another run at him.” — JIMMY KIMMELAfter being confirmed, Kennedy Jr. proceeded to the Oval Office “to be sworn in and to suck up,” Kimmel said. The new head of health and human services described President Trump as a “man on a white horse” sent by God.“Next, God is going to send us diphtheria.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Melania couldn’t turn him on like that the first night they met. But happy Valentine’s Day to Don and Bob.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (OMG Edition)“The Senate today confirmed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as secretary of health and human services. He was actually Trump’s second choice, but the Wuhan bat withdrew his nomination.” — SETH MEYERS“R.F.K. Jr. is now in charge of the F.D.A., N.I.H. and C.D.C., to which Americans said, ‘OMG,’ ‘WTF’ and ‘FML.’” — JIMMY FALLON“They said it couldn’t be done. Excuse me, they said it shouldn’t be done.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“But now it has happened, so you can now add ‘employment’ to the list of things he’s tested positive for.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingThe filmmaker Brady Corbet discussed his Oscar-nominated move “The Brutalist” on “The Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutSly Stone’s music, especially from the 1960s, is celebrated as sui generis polymathic synthesis and as hip-hop’s bedrock in “Sly Lives!”Stephen Paley/Sony/Onyx CollectiveQuestlove details Sly Stone’s life, career and musical legacy in a new documentary, “Sly Lives! (aka the Burden of Black Genius).” More