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    Stephen Colbert Comments on the ‘Slides of Sedition’

    Colbert couldn’t believe Congress is currently investigating a 38-page PowerPoint document detailing plans to overturn the 2020 election.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Slides of Sedition’The House committee investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol is looking into a 38-page PowerPoint document sent to President Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows, that included plans to overturn the 2020 election.“PowerPoint? They weren’t just trying to overturn democracy, they were trying to bore it to death,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday night.“So what was in these slides of sedition? We’re not exactly sure yet, but there is one deck that’s been circulating, that may be the deck in question, and one of the slides on that was a list of recommendations, including a plan to ‘declare a national security emergency.’ I’m sure exactly how you do that. I assume by breaking into every broadcast using the emergency [expletive] system.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They were also planning to declare electronic voting in all states invalid. Instead, they wanted to rely on ‘legal and genuine paper ballot counts.’ OK, so if you can’t trust computers, how are you giving your presentation, via PowerPoint pigeon? They’re staging a coup-coup!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, they wrote down their plans for a coup in a PowerPoint. You know what that means — Congress is going to have to subpoena Clippy. That’s from our new segment, ‘Jokes from 1995.’” — SETH MEYERS“Even the Mafia knows to use code words. If the Mafia ever made a PowerPoint presentation, it would say something vague like, ‘Plan for the guys at the place to do the thing.’ ‘OK, boss, what’s the next slide?’ ‘There’s no more slides. There’s just the one slide.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Elon Musk Edition)“Time magazine today unveiled their annual person of the year, and that person is Elon Musk or as I call him, Old Sheldon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Person of the year is believed to be the highest honor ever awarded to a person who cuts his own hair.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In response to this, Jeff Bezos just bought Time magazine.” — JAMES CORDEN“He was going to go out and buy a copy, but then he realized he’d have to pay taxes on it, so it was, you know, not worth it.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s important to note this is not necessarily a compliment. Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump were also named person of the year. Time — for real — Time is basically your dad watching a bad Super Bowl commercial, and going, ‘Hey, love him or hate him, we’re all talking about him, right?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Man, I’m so happy for him. Like the guy could really use an ego boost, you know?” — TREVOR NOAH“And honestly you can’t argue with this. I mean, richest man in the world, who also control space, crypto and electric cars? Who would even be second place, like maybe Pete Davidson, maybe?” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, Musk received the honor for his work in space exploration and after he bought 10 million subscriptions to Time magazine.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m kidding, although it was a little strange that everyone at Time drove into work today in a brand-new Tesla.” — JIMMY FALLON“Being named person of the year is a big deal. It’s basically ‘sexiest man alive,’ but you’re competing against the Dalai Lama and the pope.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingTom Holland, Regina King and Ted Danson are just a few of the celebrities reading mean tweets about themselves in a new edition of the popular recurring segment of “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightChelsea Handler will stop by Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutJim Henson with Big Bird, as seen in “Street Gang: How We Got Sesame Street.” The HBO documentary uses file footage and new interviews to detail the early years of the influential show.Sesame Workshop/HBOA new documentary about “Sesame Street” details how social purpose has always been a part of the long-running children’s show. More

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    Late Night: Putin and Biden’s Call Could Have Been an Email

    The two-hour video call was a hot topic on late night Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Two Old Men on a Zoom’President Biden and President Vladimir V. Putin spoke in a video call on Tuesday, discussing the potential Russian invasion of Ukraine.“Makes sense — the only way to resolve a delicate situation that requires crystal-clear communication is two old men on a Zoom,” Stephen Colbert joked on Tuesday night. “We do not know the results of this call yet, but Biden made it clear that if Russia invades, the U.S. and our allies would respond with strong economic and other measures. I know we’re trying to avoid a hot war here, but those are some pretty vague threats. ‘Son, if you throw a party when your mother and I are out of town, we will respond with strong reactions and emotions, t.b.d.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Today, President Biden held a big one-on-one video call with Russian President Vladimir Putin that lasted two hours. And like most two-hour meetings over Zoom, Putin was like, [imitating Putin] ‘This could have been email.’” — JIMMY FALLON“This morning, President Biden had a video call with Russian President Vladimir Putin and warned him if Russia were to invade Ukraine, Putin would feel, quote ‘economic pain.’ I like that Biden is talking like a professional wrestler from the ’80s.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tuesdays With Vladimir Edition)“President Biden held a virtual meeting today with Russian President Vladimir Putin, though it was weird that they decided to do it in the metaverse.” — SETH MEYERS“Zoom meetings with Putin are interesting. Some people go without pants, Putin just goes without a shirt. Space background, too.” — JIMMY FALLON“And a video chat is a tough way for both these guys to do diplomacy. I mean, especially because even when he’s in person, Biden talks like he’s got a bad connection.” — TREVOR NOAH“On the bright side, it was the first time Putin could see Biden on camera when Biden actually knew he was on camera.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJ.B. Smoove, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” demanded the two Black audience members move up to the front during his monologue.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMariah Carey, queen of Christmas, will pop by Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutBenedict Cumberbatch in “The Power of the Dog,” left, Kristen Stewart in “Spencer” and Ariana DeBose in “West Side Story.”From left: Kirsty Griffin/Netflix; Pablo Larrain/Neon; Niko Tavernise/20th Century Studios“Summer of Soul,” “The Power of the Dog” and “West Side Story” are among the best films of 2021. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel: Trump’s Covid Test Is the Only Positive Thing He’s Done

    Late-night hosts weighed in on Donald Trump’s initial results just three days before his debate with Joe Biden.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.On Whose Honor?In his new book, Mark Meadows, former President Donald Trump’s chief of staff, wrote that Trump tested positive for the coronavirus before his first debate with Joe Biden in 2020.“Sadly, testing positive for Covid was the only positive thing he did in four years as president,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Wednesday night.Mark Meadows, left, has written a book about his time in the White House, where he served as chief of staff of Donald Trump when he was president.Al Drago/Reuters“Meadows wrote that when he informed Trump he’d tested positive, Trump replied, ‘Oh, [expletive], you gotta be [expletive] kidding me,’ which is what most of us said when he was elected president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Fox should not have let him debate. Joe Biden is 143 years old. The debate moderator, Chris Wallace, is no spring chicken, either. He said they were relying on the honor system, which, you’re relying on the honor system with Donald Trump? You might as well rely on the Dewey decimal system.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The honor system? How can you rely on the honor system when you know he doesn’t have any? That’s like meeting with Vladimir Putin and relying on the shirt system.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Have you met Donald Trump? ‘Do you promise you’re negative, guy who ran a fake university?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You can’t go wrong when you bet on the former president lying. It’s just one of those certainties in life — and him not paying taxes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And if you do the math on the Covid, it means Trump had it at that little soiree he threw for Judge Amy Coney Barrett, after which at least eight people who were there tested positive. I wonder who they got it from? I wonder whose tiny hand they all shook at that party?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m not saying that Trump was trying to assassinate Joe Biden, but he definitely wasn’t going out of his way to avoid it.” — TREVOR NOAH“That explains why Trump originally wanted to end the Biden debate with a long, drawn-out kiss.” — JAMES CORDEN“Trump participated in the debate despite testing positive. Or, as Fox News is spinning it, ‘President Trump battled on heroically, and graciously shared his exclusive strain of Covid with a stage full of ungrateful libs.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Signing Off Edition)“CNN has suspended Chris Cuomo indefinitely for his role in advising his brother, Andrew Cuomo, during his recent scandal. Yeah, Chris Cuomo knew something was up when CNN added a suspension countdown clock.” — JIMMY FALLON“On the one hand, this is a story about a guy helping his brother in a time of crisis. And, I mean, who wouldn’t do that for their brother? Because you’ve got to remember, brother is the top level of male relationship. Yeah, it goes brother, my dude, homey, this guy and stepdad.” — TREVOR NOAH“Of course, it does matter and it does make a difference how you help your brother and what you’re helping him with. Like, if your brother murdered somebody, you can either help him get the best lawyer in the country, or you can help him bury the body. I mean, both make you a good brother, but one makes you an accessory after the fact.” — TREVOR NOAH“And, people, that’s not what CNN is about. CNN is about sitting 12 people together at a desk and having them yell at each other about whether Adele’s Las Vegas residency is going to hurt Biden’s poll numbers or not.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingThis week’s “Tonight Show” hashtags featured viewers’ travel fails.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightMahershala Ali (a.k.a. Marvel’s new Blade) will chat with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMel Brooks in “High Anxiety,” 1977.Jim Palmer/Associated PressMel Brooks keeps things light in his new memoir, “All About Me!” More

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    Late Night Riffs on Biden’s Order to Release Oil Reserves

    “For those who don’t know, the strategic reserve is a series of caverns filled with fossil fuel and strategically located inside Rudy Giuliani’s head,” Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Black Gold’President Biden announced that he would release 50 million barrels of oil from the strategic reserve in an effort to lower gas prices.“For those who don’t know, the strategic reserve is a series of caverns filled with fossil fuel and strategically located inside Rudy Giuliani’s head,” Stephen Colbert joked on Tuesday night.“This is great news for me. I was just thinking of getting my wife a barrel of oil for Christmas.” — JAMES CORDEN“According to the president, this is the largest release from the reserve in U.S. history. And in response, a spokesman for the American Petroleum Institute released this statement: [Imitating an oil tycoon] ‘Oil! Black gold! Sweet dinosaur jelly! West Texas dirt milk, we’re rich! We’re richer than Jesus!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not clear if this is gonna work. Energy experts have consistently said such a release would do little to lower prices at the pump. It’s also not the best look right after you come back from a climate conference: ‘We must end our addiction to fossil fuels. What’s that? Gas is $3.50 a gallon? Let the rivers be choked with crude oil and the carcasses of pelicans!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Man in Nantucket Edition)“President Biden traveled to Nantucket today for Thanksgiving, but only after Jill made him swear on the Bible: No limericks.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s how bad Thanksgiving traffic is — even the president has to leave two days early.” — JIMMY FALLON“Reminds me of the famous ‘There once was a man in Nantucket, whose poll numbers really did suck it.’ At least he is not that orange Pol Pot who ate all his meals from a bucket.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I have a feeling Biden’s the only person who says, ‘I once knew a man from Nantucket,’ and then tells an actual story about that man.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, once Biden left for Thanksgiving the Secret Service was like, ‘Human tryptophan is on the move.’” — JIMMY FALLON“When Biden asked Obama if Martha’s Vineyard would be nice for Thanksgiving, Obama was like, ‘Uh, you should check out Nantucket.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel challenged viewers to share the weirdest thing in their mother’s house, inspired by the mom of one of his band members who collects clown figurines.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightAndy Samberg will catch up with his friend Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutLady Gaga and Adam Driver in “House of Gucci.”Fabio Lovino/MGMRidley Scott’s “House of Gucci” mostly consists of “Guccis yelling at other Guccis.” More

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    Late Night Celebrates the QAnon Shaman’s 41-Month Prison Sentence

    “That’s nearly three and a half years, so with good behavior, he could be out in time to storm the Capitol in 2024,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.ShamanticsJacob Chansley, better known as the QAnon Shaman, was sentenced to 41 months for his role in the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.“That’s nearly three and a half years, so with good behavior, he could be out in time to storm the Capitol in 2024,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday night.“He apologized for storming the Capitol and said he often looks in the mirror and tells himself, ‘You really messed up, royally.’ Maybe if he’d taken a look in the mirror sooner, he would have noticed he had a dead raccoon on his head.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Not only did Chansley commit the crime of looking like an idiot — he is one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Right now, he’s trying to use an antler to lift the keys off a guard’s belt.” — JIMMY FALLON“Apparently, it’s hard to find a jury of his peers the same day there’s a Renaissance fair.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Crypto Edition)“Starting Christmas Day, Staples Center will be known as Crypto.com Arena, which doesn’t sound creepy at all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Crypto, the most confusing thing a venue has been named since Houston’s The Plot of ‘Inception’ Stadium.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But a lot of people around here don’t like the new name at all. You know you’re in a weird spot when fans are like, ‘We have to go back to when it was named after an office supply chain!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a bad name, but thankfully, Crypto.com still isn’t the worst-named arena in sports. That honor belongs to the New Orleans Pelicans’ Smoothie King Center.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So, look for the Lakers to be up by 20, then back down by 40, then up by 10,000, then back to zero.” — SETH MEYERS“Generations of fans have grown up with the Staples Center. For my younger viewers, that name refers to the Staples office supply company. An office is something you used to go to for meetings, which are like very boring in-person emails. Oh, emails are long texts with more words, and words are faceless emojis that remind you you’re a relic of the past and the future no longer belongs to you. Go Cryptos!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not like Staples is a sacred name from the ancestors — it’s a store where you buy 50 packs of binders even though you only need one.” — TREVOR NOAH“True story, we almost called our youngest daughter Crypto.com. Crypto.com Corden. Crypto.com Jennifer Corden.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingDulcé Sloan looked into the history of historically Black college and university marching bands on Wednesday’s “The Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightHalle Berry will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show” to promote her new film, “Bruised.”Also, Check This OutAdele’s “30,” due Friday, is the follow-up to her blockbuster “25,” an album that sold nearly 3.4 million copies in a single week in the United States. Getty ImagesAdele’s first new album in six years faces a changing music industry, but she’s always been an exception to the rule. More

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    Prison Won’t Be a Riot for the QAnon Shaman, Jimmy Kimmel Says

    “Prosecutors are recommending 51 months behind bars, after which, he will be remanded into the custody of ‘Dancing With the Stars,’” Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Dancing With the InsurrectionistOn Thursday night, Jimmy Kimmel joked that Jacob Chansley, “the infamous insurrectionist” known as the QAnon Shaman who took part in the Capitol attack on Jan. 6, “is probably not gonna be storming anything any time soon.”This week, prosecutors suggested that Chansley be sentenced to more than four years in prison for his role in the incursion, which would be the most severe punishment yet for a participant.“Prosecutors are recommending 51 months behind bars, after which he will be remanded into the custody of ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Weird to think the QAnon Shaman could get four years in prison when the guy who encouraged him to do it could get four more years in the White House.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And also, can we stop calling him a shaman now? I mean, that would make half the fans at the Buffalo Bills game shamans too.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I support a four-year prison sentence for any adult wearing a costume.” — JAMES CORDEN“They’re asking for three years for the riot, and an extra year because he used to be in an improv group.” — JAMES CORDEN“He may be going to prison for years. Even worse, they’re also making a movie about all of this: ‘The Shaman-Shank Redemption.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Thank You for Your Service Edition)“It is Veterans Day here in the United States, the day on which we honor the men and women who served and fought in wars to defend our country so the rest of us can fight on Facebook.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The closest most of us have come to a war zone is shopping on Black Friday at T.J. Maxx.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yup, the only people who have seen more combat than you guys are flight attendants on Southwest.” — JIMMY FALLON“I remember telling my dad that I thought a life in uniform might be right for me, so he went out and got me a job application for Pizza Hut.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Daily Show” correspondent Desi Lydic put the spotlight on female veterans throughout “hist-HER-y.”Also, Check This OutJulia Child and a fridge friend in an archival image, as seen in the documentary “Julia,” directed by Julie Cohen and Betsy West. Paul Child/Schlesinger Library, Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University/Sony Pictures ClassicsA new documentary about Julia Child explores her influence on how Americans cook and eat. More

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    Late Night Goes After Ted Cruz for Going After Big Bird

    Jimmy Kimmel said conservatives like Ted Cruz have some bizarre beliefs: “The elections are rigged, the deep state runs the world, and Big Bird is working for Merck now.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Birds of a FeatherLate night couldn’t get enough of Ted Cruz claiming Big Bird was spreading “government propaganda for your 5-year-old” over the weekend. Cruz angrily shared his response in a retweet of Big Bird’s announcement about receiving a Covid vaccine.Jimmy Kimmel said conservatives like Cruz truly believe sentiments like the one he shared: “The elections are rigged, the deep state runs the world, and Big Bird is working for Merck now.”“All right, first of all, Ted Cruz, you need to calm down. Five-year-olds aren’t even seeing Big Bird’s tweet. Five-year-olds aren’t even on Twitter — they’re on TikTok.” — TREVOR NOAH“This is the craziest anti-vax Muppet outrage since they claimed Pfizer gave the Swedish Chef giant meatballs.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And it’s interesting because not only is Ted Cruz vaccinated himself, Ted Cruz was born with an immunity that protects him from contracting any friends.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m surprised Cruz is at odds with Big Bird here. They have so much in common: When it gets cold, they both fly south.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Ted Cruz has it in for ‘Sesame Street’ because he’s constantly getting mistaken for the Count.” — JAMES CORDEN“I have to admit it’s a tough one. I mean, who are you siding with, the beloved and iconic children’s character widely celebrated over a half a century by people of all ages and backgrounds from all parts of the world, or a widely disliked wannabe werewolf with the charm of a serial killer and the voice of a dying barn owl who was once called ‘Lucifer in the flesh’ by one of his fellow Republicans after another fellow Republican joked he was so unpopular you could murder him and get away with it.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s a big day, actually, for Big Bird because immediately after getting vaccinated, he was signed by the Green Bay Packers.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Spotty Defense Edition)“The pope of Green Bay is quarterback Aaron Rodgers. He’s been playing some very spotty defense this weekend.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He said he tested negative over 300 times before testing positive, which is the same kind of logic your 95-year-old grandmother uses to justify keeping her driver’s license.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So Rodgers basically says that he’s an independent thinker who doesn’t want to be told what to do with his body. And I don’t know, you ever notice how all the independent thinkers are doing the exact same thing? Right? It’s not like they’re all coming up with different ideas, like, ‘I’m an independent thinker, what are my thoughts, Joe Rogan? Tell me about my independent thoughts!” — TREVOR NOAH“But you can tell how politics has just infected the entire vaccine debate, right, because you’ll never see Aaron Rodgers doing this to anything else. He’s never applying independent thinking to the rest of his body. Like just once I’d love to see him out there on the field, like, ‘Forget pads and helmets, I’ve decided to cover myself in manuka honey.’” — TREVOR NOAH“How does someone who almost hosted ‘Jeopardy’ come up with 40 incorrect responses in a row?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“A lot of people are also comparing Aaron Rodgers to Kyrie Irving, and that’s not fair. Kyrie Irving is wrong, but at least he’s honest. I mean, Aaron Rodgers let everyone around him think he was vaccinated when he wasn’t. He’s not Kyrie Irving, he’s Bernie Madoff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But there are real victims here. And yes, I’m talking about those of us who play fantasy sports. Because it used to be when you drafted players you only had to take into account their injury history or their team’s off-season moves. Now — now you’ve got to be like, ‘OK, what are the chances that this player gets his news from Facebook?’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingTrevor Noah talked with the “Daily Show” guest Spike Lee about his new career-spanning book, “SPIKE.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightSarah Silverman will catch up with Seth Meyers on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutViolah Beauvais, left, and Kiawentiio in a scene from Tracey Deer’s film “Beans.”Sebastien Raymond/FilmriseTracey Deer’s film “Beans” is based on her experiences during the 1990 Oka crisis, a confrontation between the Mohawk people and the government. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Aaron Is a Karen’

    As Covid sidelined the Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, Kimmel and other hosts scorned him for implying that he’d been vaccinated.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Rodger ThatThe Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers tested positive for Covid this week, which means he’ll sit out Sunday’s game against the Kansas City Chiefs (or as Stephen Colbert put it, “the next five State Farm commercials”).“He’ll be watching it from ‘Mahome.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL, referencing Chiefs quarterback Patrick MahomesLate-night hosts found it egregious that Rodgers had vaguely referred to himself as “immunized,” leading some to believe he’d been vaccinated. Instead, according to a report, he received homeopathic treatment.“I’m no expert, but I’m guessing it’s a lot easier to just play football with a shot in your arm than a jade egg stuck where the sun don’t shine. Then again, they are called the Packers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s not the only confusing statement that he’s made about his vaccine status. For example, in one press conference he said, ‘I’d like to think of myself as vaccine-adjacent.’ In another press conference he said, “In a spiritual sense, are any of us truly vaccinated?’ And finally, he cleared things up by saying, ‘I didn’t not, not, not not, not get the shot. Not.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s really vague. He better not talk that way in the huddle.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Honestly, the only thing worse than not getting vaccinated when you’re in close contact with other people is letting them think you’re vaccinated when you’re not. It’s basically the Covid equivalent of ‘The condom fell off.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Aaron is a Karen, that’s the fact of the matter.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (More Shots Edition)“The Biden administration today ordered U.S. companies with 100 or more employees to have their workers fully vaccinated or regularly tested for the coronavirus by Jan. 4. All right, you heard the man, Arcade Fire.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s great timing — make sure everyone is vaccinated right after the holidays.” — JIMMY FALLON“Team Biden today announced that more than 100 million American workers are required to be fully vaccinated by Jan. 4. And if I know my fellow American workers, everyone’s going to be super chill about that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Because I guess Jan. 1 — just way too obvious.” — JAMES CORDEN“What’s the thinking here? ‘Nobody expects this policy to start on a random Tuesday, let’s do that!’” — JAMES CORDEN“Like the drunkest friend at a bachelor party, Joe Biden’s going to make sure everyone gets shots.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “The Tonight Show,” Ariana Grande got to see Jimmy Fallon play a clip of her singing the national anthem at eight years old.Also, Check This OutMeryl Streep as President Orlean, a commander in chief very focused on her approval ratings, in “Don’t Look Up.”Niko Tavernise/Netflix Finally, a world in which Meryl Streep is president — in Adam McKay’s apocalyptic satire “Don’t Look Up.” More