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      Late Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.“You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off,’” Jimmy Fallon said of Trump’s final few days in office.Credit…NBCJan. 19, 2021, 1:35 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Dreams DeferredLate night celebrated Martin Luther King’s Birthday at the top of their shows by holding up the civil rights activist as an example of a great leader, as opposed to the departing president.“First of all, before anything else, Happy Martin Luther King Day, everybody, when we celebrate a great leader who led a march on Washington that didn’t end with me having to learn about someone named Q Shaman.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“If Dr. King were alive today, he would probably watch the news and go, ‘Let me be more specific about this dream I had.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL[embedded content]“You know, it’s days like today we should all be grateful that Trump can’t tweet.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I’d like to think he’d have a good laugh if he knew the F.B.I. had to spend this federal holiday tracking down and arresting thousands of white supremacists. He did have a second dream, and that was it.” — SETH MEYERSMost of the rest of their monologues were focused on President Trump’s last few days in office.“Well guys, there’s only 36 hours left in Trump’s presidency. You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, just 36 hours left. You can tell time is running out because Trump is now signing pardons with both hands.” — JIMMY FALLON“With Trump, 36 hours still seems like a long time, right? It’s like if someone said, ‘You’re only going to be on fire for 36 more hours.’ That’s a long time. ‘You’re only going to be in this M.R.I. tube for another 36 hours. Try not to move.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Forty-eight hours from now Donald and Malaria, Melania — whoops — will be back home, asleep in separate bedrooms at Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump is reportedly planning on leaving the White House on Wednesday morning for Florida. So he’s not changing his routine at all.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump’s leaving office with his lowest approval rating yet — it’s down to 29 percent. Which, for someone who incited a violent insurrection to overthrow the government isn’t bad. I mean, honestly, what would he have to do to get below 20 percent — eat the Constitution?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump has the lowest average approval rating of any president in the modern era. The only one to leave office with a lower rating than that was Kevin Spacey.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Pardons Edition)“Sources say that tomorrow, on his last full day in office, the president is prepared to issue around 100 pardons and commutations. Why so many? Well, there’s reportedly a lucrative market for pardons. Finally, POTUS is running a business that makes money.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s calling it ‘The Olive Pardon.’ When you’re here, you’re a crime family.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Trump tomorrow is reportedly planning to issue at least 100 pardons and commutations. He said he wanted to give so many so that it would be even more hilarious when Giuliani doesn’t get one.” — SETH MEYERS“You can actually bet on who Trump will pardon, for real. And you know who the odds-on favorite is celebrity-wise? Lil Wayne, Trump’s buddy. They bonded over a mutual love of hip-hop and cough syrup.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During his last hours in office, Trump is planning to issue pardons, but it’s reported it’s not going to be a pardon to himself or his family members. Trump is the only president in history who decides not to pardon himself and you immediately think, ‘What’s he up to?’” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m not surprised Trump didn’t pardon himself today because then he would be liable for whatever he does tomorrow.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump won’t pardon his family either. Actually it’s kind of sweet — Trump told his kids, ‘When I go down for tax fraud, I want you all to be in prison with me.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“Conan” provided a sneak peek at Trump’s “Pardonpalooza.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Aubrey Plaza will pop by “Conan” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutJavicia Leslie’s role in the CW’s “Batwoman” is her first lead part in a major TV series, and she performed many of her own stunts. “I love being up, like, 50 feet in the air,” she said.Credit…CWJavicia Leslie is the first-ever Black live-action Batwoman as the titular character on the second season of the CW series.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Late Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy,” Seth Meyers said.“Guy spent all that time flying to state capitals, rounding up witnesses from the bars at TGI Fridays and Buffalo Wild Wings, and now Trump won’t even reimburse him,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday.Credit…NBCJan. 15, 2021, 2:12 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sparing No ExpensesAs his term nears its end, President Trump is said to have refused to pay Rudy Giuliani, his lawyer, the day rate of $20,000 that he asked for. The president also reportedly demanded to personally oversee the approval of reimbursements of Giuliani’s travel expenses.“This is like the end of ‘The Sixth Sense,’ but instead of Bruce Willis realizing he’s been dead the whole time, it’s Donald Trump realizing that Rudy has the whole time been a bad lawyer,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday’s “Late Night.”“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy. Guy spent all that time flying to state capitals, rounding up witnesses from the bars at TGI Friday’s and Buffalo Wild Wings, and now Trump won’t even reimburse him. [Imitating Trump] ‘So, you owe me for the time I called you into the hearing. It went over on minutes, because Rudy, you’re not friends and you’re not family, so those minutes are costly.’” — SETH MEYERS“And poor Rudy needed that money for the hair transplant: [Imitating Giuliani] ‘Please, boss, I’m begging you. Don’t make me go back to the mud water!’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump doesn’t want to pay that. He could’ve hired Gary Busey for a hundred bucks to do the same thing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Sucks for Giuliani. Now he’s going to have to make money on the side, bottling Uncle Rudy’s Original Skull Syrup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Though I could understand wanting to take a closer look at Rudy’s expenses, given that so far, he’s submitted receipts for ‘Delta business-class brand plastic bottle vodka,’ ‘Uber XL T-shirt that I slept in behind the racetrack’ and ‘pay-per-view porn: “Oops! All Cousins!”’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They say Trump isn’t even taking Rudy’s calls anymore. Now the only way for Rudy to get through is if someone says his name three times in a mirror.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I wonder who leaked this story. Maybe it was Giuliani’s head.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But this is what Trump does. Even if you don’t jump ship, sooner or later he’ll throw you off it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These two were inseparable, and now it’s come to this. It feels like Dr. Frankenstein breaking up with Igor.” — JIMMY FALLON“And you know Trump’s upset when he’s starting to make careful decisions with his money.” — JAMES CORDEN“This is like the end of ‘Jurassic Park’ when the raptors and the T-rex just turn on each other at the end.” — JAMES CORDEN“Trump says he is only ready to pay for two seasons’ worth of total landscaping.” — JAMES CORDEN“Rudy seemed blindsided by the decision, although when hair dye is constantly leaking into your eyes, it’s hard to see anything coming.” — JIMMY FALLON“I cannot wait until this somehow ends with Trump hiring Rudy Giuliani to sue Rudy Giuliani.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s great. The president’s spending his last days in office going over receipts like he’s Janis from accounting: [imitating Trump] ‘Did you stay two nights at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping? We’re not paying for that. That’s not a hotel.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even if Trump doesn’t pay him back, at least Rudy racked up a ton of frequent-liar miles.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Moving Edition)“Tell you what, I would sign up for a streaming service that showed nothing but Trump’s stuff being moved out of the White House. I don’t know how much I would pay a month, but it’s a lot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s still president for five more days, but that place is emptier than a rest-stop Cinnabon at 3 a.m.” — SETH MEYERS“Love to imagine Trump piling all his stuff into crates: his oversized suits, his ties that are so long that no matter how you pack them, a little bit pokes out.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump’s giving stuff away like the sun’s about to set on his weekend garage sale. He’s like, ‘You know what? It’s getting late — just take it. I was only going to charge a dime for it.’” — JIMMY FALLON“An unidentified trio seemed to have made off with a bust of Abraham Lincoln. Is it possible that Trump is looting the White House before he goes? He’s going to use that as a hood ornament on his golf cart.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And I sure hope someone is watching him pack because he’s definitely going to try to steal stuff. ‘Sir, why is the bust of Lincoln being packed away?’ ‘Uh, what? No, this is mine from home. I brought it. It’s not actually Lincoln — it’s my uncle, um, uh, Beard Trump.’” — SETH MEYERS“Later, another guy was seen carrying out Mike Pence. He was like, ‘Hey, put me down! I’m not a statue. Mother! Mother!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSenator Bernie Sanders weighed in on recent events in Washington while appearing on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMichael Cimino in the Hulu series “Love, Victor,” which features a queer lead title character.Credit…Gilles Mingasson/Hulu, via Associated PressL.G.B.T.Q. representation on television has decreased for the first time in five years.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Late Night Reviews ‘Trump’s Impeachment: The Sequel’

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Reviews ‘Trump’s Impeachment: The Sequel’“Makes sense — this president loves having seconds,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.“I feel like I just took down my decorations from the last impeachment,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.Credit…CBSJan. 14, 2021, 1:48 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Second HelpingPresident Trump’s impeachment — his second, which is a presidential first — was big news on late night and everywhere else on Wednesday.“Makes sense — this president loves having seconds,” Stephen Colbert said on “The Late Show.”[embedded content]“I feel like I just took down my decorations from the last impeachment.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Twice! Man, this guy is hard to get rid of. He’s like a red wine stain on a white rug — we’re going to have to just get rid of the whole rug.” — SETH MEYERS“And like always, the sequel was a lot worse than the original.” — JIMMY FALLON“I know a lot of people are wondering, ‘Will I be able to follow the second impeachment if I missed the first?’ Yeah, same character, different plots.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, President Trump was impeached today for a second time — or, according to Fox News, ‘Fun rainy-day crafts to do with your grandkids.’” — SETH MEYERS“I wonder if he’s tired of all the winning yet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s almost like he’s tanking the season so he can get the number one pick in the jailhouse fantasy draft.” — SETH MEYERS“Two impeachments, and just like Trump’s sons, the second one is the most embarrassing.” — JAMES CORDEN“I hope Trump supporters don’t suddenly become angry and volatile about this.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (a Few Good Republicans Edition)“It’s official: Mitch McConnell has turned his back on Trump, which means someone should probably help him because usually when Mitch McConnell flips on his back, it’s hard for him to get back up on the right side again.” — JAMES CORDEN“Well, it took them four years, but Trump finally figured out a way to unite Republicans and Democrats.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, 10 Republicans finally broke away from the president. Trump was so mad he started typing angry tweets about them on a calculator.” — JIMMY FALLON“McConnell is reported to be happy that the impeachment is happening, because he thinks it’ll be a good way for Republicans to get Trump out of their hairpieces.” — JIMMY KIMMEL”Reportedly, McConnell has told associates in private that he believes the president committed impeachable offenses and is leaning toward convicting him. It will all be in his memoir, ‘Leaning Toward Courage.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now this all seems promising, I know, but watch out, because there is actually nothing more disturbing than the sight of a pleased Mitch McConnell.” — JAMES CORDEN“McConnell’s apparent support for impeachment gives cover for others, meaning a dozen Republican senators — and possibly more — could ultimately vote to convict the president. Yes, at least a dozen, and possibly more, if there’s a sale at Bob’s Spine Barn.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSomething big happens in Washington whenever Samantha Bee is a guest on “The Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe CW’s new Batwoman, Javicia Leslie, will stop by Thursday night’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutClockwise from top left, Gary Oldman in “Mank,” Lakeith Stanfield in “Judas and the Black Messiah,” Chadwick Boseman in “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Riz Ahmed in “Sound of Metal,” Anthony Hopkins in “The Father” and Delroy Lindo in “Da 5 Bloods.”Credit…Clockwise from top left: Netflix; Glen Wilson/Warner Bros. Entertainment, via Associated Press; David Lee/Netflix; Amazon Studios; Sony Pictures Classics; NetflixThe late Chadwick Boseman’s performance in “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” looks like the favorite for Best Actor at this year’s Academy Awards.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Jimmy Fallon: Mike Pence Just Can’t Win With Trump Fans

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightJimmy Fallon: Mike Pence Just Can’t Win With Trump Fans“It’s a tough choice for Pence: Invoke the 25th and have MAGA nation hate you, or refuse and still have MAGA nation hate you,” Fallon said.“You could tell Pence was nervous, because he spent all day slamming milks like it was Friday at 5 p.m.,” Jimmy Fallon joked of House lawmakers’ call for Vice President Mike Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment against President Trump.Credit…NBCJan. 13, 2021, 2:35 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Pence’s Choice: ‘Have MAGA Nation Hate You’The House on Tuesday formally called on Vice President Mike Pence to remove President Trump from office using the 25th Amendment, an idea Pence had already rejected.Though Pence did not yield to pressure from Trump to overturn the election results last week, which he did not have the authority to do anyway, he said that invoking the 25th Amendment “would further divide and inflame the passions of the moment.” Those passions include some of Trump’s supporters, whose votes the vice president would probably need for his own White House run, chanting, “Hang Mike Pence” as they stormed the Capitol in an effort to stop the election certification.“It’s a tough choice for Pence: Invoke the 25th and have MAGA nation hate you, or refuse and still have MAGA nation hate you,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“Of course Mike Pence isn’t going to do that. He’s not going to remove Donald Trump. Mike Pence doesn’t even remove his shirt.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You could tell Pence was nervous, because he spent all day slamming milks like it was Friday at 5 p.m.” — JIMMY FALLON“And you’d think Pence would be into the idea, considering the whole ‘Hang him’ thing. But you would be dead wrong, because yesterday, after days of silence, ‘The president and Mike Pence spoke for the first time, meeting in the Oval Office, and agreed that those who broke the law and stormed the Capitol last week do not represent their policy of America first.’ Well, of course this mob violence wasn’t America first — it was in Germany first. So, apparently, it’s all water under the gallows now.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The president and Mike Pence reportedly spoke yesterday in the Oval Office for the first time since last week’s attack on the Capitol, which had to be pretty awkward. But don’t worry, Trump accepted Pence’s apology.” — SETH MEYERS”Yeah, we’ve all been in Pence’s shoes, though, you know what I mean? That uncomfortable meeting with your boss after he sends a crazed mob of vengeful rioters to zip-tie you.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Alamo Edition)“Big T flew to Alamo, Texas, today to brag about his wall — and to remind the American people that he’s not just a dangerous megalomaniac; he’s also a racist.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Meanwhile, a confused Rudy Giuliani waited patiently 300 miles away at Al’s Amo.” — SETH MEYERS“It was very wise of Trump to take a victory lap at the border the same week his supporters showed the world that walls serve almost no purpose whatsoever when it comes to keeping people who want in out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Well, that’s a wrap on a flawless administration.” — JAMES CORDEN“When they heard Trump was coming to the border, Mexico was like, ‘Phew, thank God that wall is here.’” — JIMMY FALLON“You know your presidency is off the rails when you have to distract from your attempted coup with your giant symbol of racism.” — JIMMY FALLON“What a nice reminder of how much the president hates people storming barriers and entering places they aren’t legally allowed.” — JAMES CORDEN“When asked what he was doing there, Trump said, ‘I’m just planning my escape.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yup, Trump visited the border in the town of Alamo, Texas. He was like, ‘Thanks to me, everyone will remember Alamo.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAnne Hathaway shared her go-to karaoke song and first celebrity crush while playing a round of “Best Worst First” on “The Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightSamantha Bee will check in with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSally Rooney, whose first two books have been critical and commercial successes, will release her next two with Farrar, Straus and Giroux.Credit…Erik Voake/Getty ImagesThe “Normal People” author Sally Rooney has a new novel coming in September: “Beautiful World, Where Are You.”AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Late Night Is Unimpressed by Titanic-Fleeing Republicans

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Is Unimpressed by Titanic-Fleeing Republicans “Resigning with two weeks left feels less like some moral stand and more like leaving early to beat traffic,” Jimmy Fallon said of the departing officials.Jan. 8, 2021, 2:05 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sinking ShipThe late-night hosts were still reeling along with the rest of the country on Thursday, the day after a Trump-incited mob stormed the Capitol.“Well, guys, it’s been a pretty epic 24 hours,” Jimmy Fallon said at the top of “The Tonight Show.” “Joe Biden was certified as our next president, several staffers have resigned from the White House, Trump’s social media accounts were banned, and yet, compared to yesterday, it’s a slow news day.”“Since yesterday’s riot, resignations have poured in at the White House, and sources expect they’ll keep coming. Although resigning with two weeks left feels less like some moral stand and more like leaving early to beat traffic.” — JIMMY FALLON“My question is, how do you put in your two weeks’ notice when your job ends in less than two weeks?” — JIMMY FALLON“I’ve been watching the news, and these ‘experts’ keep saying ‘history will not look back kindly’ on the politicians who continue with this charade. As if those people care about history. Those people don’t even care about climate change. At this rate, we’ll be lucky if we even have a history for them to be ashamed of.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Last night marked the end of the longtime romance between Donald Trump and his golden Graham, Lindsey, who used his time before the Senate last night to issue a very public breakup.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Lindsey Graham said he and Trump ‘had a hell of a journey,’ but ‘enough is enough.’ And he decided not to give him the final rose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That was something to watch. I’d like to commend Senator Graham for this courageous act, two weeks after he called to try to get the Georgia secretary of state to change the election results. Now he’s appalled. But heroes come in many forms, folks.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And after that ugly day yesterday, President Trump’s mental state has now come into question, with one senior adviser saying Trump has, quote, ‘lost it.’ I’ve got to say, it’s very brave of Republicans to start speaking out against Trump only 99.9 percent of the way through his term in office. You know, not to quibble about this, but for someone to ‘lose it,’ first they must ‘possess it,’ mustn’t they?’ — JAMES CORDEN“People were comparing this big wave of resignations to rats fleeing the Titanic, but I really don’t think that’s fair. At one point, the Titanic actually had some direction. It was going somewhere.” — JAMES CORDEN“It makes sense, though. You want to get out into the job market before the Trump administration gets blocked on LinkedIn as well.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Blocked and Banned Edition)“Trump was suspended by Twitter. He’s blocked by Facebook and Instagram, too. Still on Match.com.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Well, yesterday we learned that if you incite a coup against the U.S. government, you will face up to 12 hours without a Twitter account.” — SETH MEYERS“Aside from his fear of removal or prosecution, maybe baby just wants his toy back, because Twitter locked the president’s account after his riot on Capitol Hill. Good to know Twitter is finally treating a violence-inciting fascist as harshly as a teenager who used seven seconds of an Imagine Dragons song.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He also got blocked from posting to Facebook and Instagram indefinitely. YouTube pulled his video address to the rioters, citing election misinformation, and Amazon banned him from ordering Pixy Stix because they get him too wound up before bedtime.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In other news, guess who doesn’t want to ban TikTok anymore.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJulien Baker performed her timely new song “Faith Healer” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMartin Scorsese and Fran Lebowitz, as seen in the new Netflix documentary series “Pretend It’s a City,” are longtime friends. “It’s about being around Fran,” said Scorsese, who directed the series.Credit…NetflixFran Lebowitz and Martin Scorsese reminisce about old New York in their new Netflix documentary series, “Pretend It’s a City.”AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Stephen Colbert Goes ‘Unexpectedly Live’

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightStephen Colbert Goes ‘Unexpectedly Live’“It’s a horrifying day that will go down in U.S. history, however much longer that is,” Colbert said after President Trump incited a mob of his supporters to storm the Capitol.“Who could have seen this coming? Everyone? Even dummies like me,” Stephen Colbert remarked of Wednesday’s angry pro-Trump mob.Credit…CBSJan. 7, 2021, 3:23 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.No Laughing MatterLate-night hosts got serious Wednesday after an angry, violent mob of Trump supporters stormed the Capitol, where lawmakers had convened for what is normally the routine certification of the presidential election results. Stephen Colbert went “unexpectedly live,” addressing the Republican leaders he deems responsible for supporting President Trump’s desperate attempts to overturn Joe Biden’s victory as well as his inflammatory rhetoric.[embedded content]“Hey, Republicans who supported this president — especially the ones in the joint session of Congress today — have you had enough? After five years of coddling this president’s fascist rhetoric, guess whose followers want to burn down the Reichstag?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Who could have seen this coming? Everyone? Even dummies like me. This is the most shocking, most tragic, least surprising thing I’ve ever seen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“For years now, people have been telling you cowards that if you let the president lie about our democracy over and over and then join him in that lie and say he’s right when you know for a fact that he is not, there will be a terrible price to pay. But you just never thought you’d have to pay it, too.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I really do hope you’re enjoying those tax cuts — and those judges, because those judges are really going to be working hard. They’re going to be busy throwing these idiots in jail — and by ‘idiots’ I include the Republicans who let this happen. Like you, Senator Josh Hawley, raising your stupid fist to the mob outside the Capitol. Look at that — it’s like ‘Black Power’ but the opposite. There really should be a name for that. And, obviously, he has to keep his fist closed, because if he opened it, you’d see all the blood on his hands.” — STEPHEN COLBERTJimmy Fallon dispensed with jokes altogether, saying he wanted to help.“Being here tonight and talking to you at home and reassuring you that we’re going to be OK and that this is not what our country is about is how I can help,” he said.Fallon spent the top of the show speaking with Dan Rather, the former CBS News anchor, about the day’s events.James Corden said there was still reason for hope during what he called “the last dance at the worst party any of us have ever been to.”“The America that so many aspire to will be back,” he said. “It’s just been hijacked by a lunatic.”The Punchiest Punchlines (Treason Finale Edition)“Remember this morning the news was all saying Democrats now control the Senate? I’m going to say that report was a little premature. ‘The Late Show’ is ready to project Senate control has passed to Majority Leader Shirtless Freak in a Viking Hat.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Thank you for joining us for the treason finale of the Donald Trump era.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a horrifying day that will go down in U.S. history, however much longer that is.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The Capitol was besieged by MAGA-hatters in all manner of crazy costumes. It was like a psychotic ‘Price Is Right’ audience forcibly taking control of the ‘Plinko’ wheel.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s a very upsetting Paul Revere remix: ‘The red hats are coming! The red hats are coming!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And the wildest part is these MAGA marchers think Donald Trump cares about them. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t care about your wife or your job or your health care or the air you breathe, the water you drink. He cares about himself. And only about himself. Unless you were pushing a lawn mower, he wouldn’t let you into his golf club. He’d roll his limo right over you to get a Chick-fil-A sandwich.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He does not give a damn about you. He went home to watch it on TV. You’re just entertainment for him — and, of course, a steady stream of merchandise sales.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Anyway, this isn’t how any of this works. We don’t decide elections on who’s most upset; we decide them by who gets the most votes, portioned by state through a weird Electoral College that was instituted to maintain the political power of slave states. It’s a long story.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Come on, Republicans. Don’t go up to Capitol Hill for a government handout. Pull yourselves up by your own bootstraps and just work a little harder.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Remind me: Are we great again yet?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingDon Cheadle managed to talk a little bit about the return of his Showtime series “Black Monday” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe author Fran Lebowitz will tell Seth Meyers about her new Netflix series with Martin Scorsese on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutTed Danson, left, and Bobby Moynihan in “Mr. Mayor,” a new NBC sitcom created by Robert Carlock and Tina Fey.Credit…Mitchell Haddad/NBCTed Danson plays the titular role in “Mr. Mayor,” NBC’s new political satire from Tina Fey and Robert Carlock.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Late Night Returns in Time for Another Perfect Trump Call

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Returns in Time for Another Perfect Trump CallJust as the hosts’ holiday break was ending, President Trump asked Georgia’s secretary of state to “find” some more votes for him.“Now, now, buckle up everybody, because this call is like if Watergate and the Ukraine scandal had a baby that they made on the ‘Access Hollywood’ bus,” Stephen Colbert said. Credit…CBSJan. 5, 2021Updated 3:10 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Another Perfect CallThe late-night hosts returned from holiday break on Monday, and the leading topic was the recording of President Trump’s call with Georgia’s secretary of state, Brad Raffensperger, in which the president pressed the official to “find” enough votes to overturn his loss in the state. The fallout put the hosts in mind of another phone call that landed Mr. Trump in hot water in 2019.“Now, now, buckle up everybody, because this call is like if Watergate and the Ukraine scandal had a baby that they made on the ‘Access Hollywood’ bus,” Stephen Colbert said. “When you’re a star, they let you do it.”“He had another perfect call over the weekend.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He brought up all kind of crazy things — conspiracy theories he says he’s been hearing on what he calls ‘Trump media.’ It was the kind of call that makes you wonder, is he stupid or drunk? And then you remember he doesn’t drink.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump claimed, among many other things, that there is no way he could have lost Georgia because he had bigger crowds than Joe Biden. As if it was some kind of dueling monster truck shows.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“One problem: Rally size does not decide an election. That’s why on the 20th, we won’t be swearing in President BTS.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to the K-pop supergroup“The president of the United States sounded like an inveterate gambler begging his bookie to float him for one more race. [Imitating Trump] ‘I just need 11,000 bucks. I got a great horse. He’s a sure thing.’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump asked him to somehow find enough votes to flip Georgia, so that he would win the state by one vote. One vote. Trump was like, ‘Because if we’re going to do this, we can’t make it obvious.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s all he wants. He just wants them to ‘find’ exactly how many votes he needs to win by one. Nothing fishy about that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump’s call lasted for an hour, by the way. An hour. It was like one of his calls to ‘Fox & Friends’ except he actually cared what the other person had to say on this one.” — JIMMY FALLON“What a waste. Trump could have spent that hour not helping roll out the vaccine.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Worse Than Watergate Edition)“Carl Bernstein, the reporter who broke the Watergate scandal back in the ’70s, said what Trump said on this tape was, quote, ‘far worse than Watergate.’ But I guess Trump figures, ‘I’ve only got two weeks left — what the hell?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It doesn’t mean much to Trump. He thinks Watergate is about toilets not flushing hard enough.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, The Washington Post published an audio recording of President Trump asking the Georgia secretary of state to find enough votes to overturn his loss in the state. Wow, things have gotten a lot easier for The Post since they broke Watergate — now Deep Throat is just Trump himself.” — SETH MEYERS“Apparently every January, Trump’s New Year’s resolution is to find a new way to get impeached.” — JIMMY FALLON“He tried everything. He bragged, he challenged, he threatened. He told the secretary of state he would come to Georgia and eat all their peaches — nothing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s like a guy without a silver bullet brainstorming other ways to kill a werewolf. [As Trump] ‘What about two regular bullets? Is that something that might work?’” — SETH MEYERS“What you heard is definitely the voice of a man who’s been in debt before. He sounds like he’s begging the waiter at a steakhouse to let him skate on the bill.” — SETH MEYERS“It sounds like he’s trying to get someone to hook him up with a free refill of Dr Pepper, not a presidential election.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon spoofed Harry Styles’s latest music video, with Chloe Fineman of “Saturday Night Live” impersonating Phoebe Waller-Bridge, the creator and star of “Fleabag.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightElizabeth Olsen will promote her new Disney+ series, “WandaVision,” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutTanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton, an earth scientist, in the 1985 James Bond film “A View to a Kill.” She had earlier starred in the last season of “Charlie’s Angels.”Credit…Keith Hamshere/Getty ImagesA miscommunication led to erroneous reports that the actress Tanya Roberts had died, her publicist said.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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      Watch Jimmy Kimmel Target Trump's 'Perfect' Georgia Call

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      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Returns in Time for Another Perfect Trump CallJust as the hosts’ holiday break was ending, President Trump asked Georgia’s secretary of state to “find” some more votes for him.“Now, now, buckle up everybody, because this call is like if Watergate and the Ukraine scandal had a baby that they made on the ‘Access Hollywood’ bus,” Stephen Colbert said.Credit…CBSJan. 5, 2021Updated 3:10 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Another Perfect CallThe late-night hosts returned from holiday break on Monday, and the leading topic was the recording of President Trump’s call with Georgia’s secretary of state, Brad Raffensperger, in which the president pressed the official to “find” enough votes to overturn his loss in the state. The fallout put the hosts in mind of another phone call that landed Mr. Trump in hot water in 2019.“Now, now, buckle up everybody, because this call is like if Watergate and the Ukraine scandal had a baby that they made on the ‘Access Hollywood’ bus,” Stephen Colbert said. “When you’re a star, they let you do it.”“He had another perfect call over the weekend.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He brought up all kind of crazy things — conspiracy theories he says he’s been hearing on what he calls ‘Trump media.’ It was the kind of call that makes you wonder, is he stupid or drunk? And then you remember he doesn’t drink.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump claimed, among many other things, that there is no way he could have lost Georgia because he had bigger crowds than Joe Biden. As if it was some kind of dueling monster truck shows.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“One problem: Rally size does not decide an election. That’s why on the 20th, we won’t be swearing in President BTS.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to the K-pop supergroup“The president of the United States sounded like an inveterate gambler begging his bookie to float him for one more race. [Imitating Trump] ‘I just need 11,000 bucks. I got a great horse. He’s a sure thing.’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump asked him to somehow find enough votes to flip Georgia, so that he would win the state by one vote. One vote. Trump was like, ‘Because if we’re going to do this, we can’t make it obvious.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s all he wants. He just wants them to ‘find’ exactly how many votes he needs to win by one. Nothing fishy about that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump’s call lasted for an hour, by the way. An hour. It was like one of his calls to ‘Fox & Friends’ except he actually cared what the other person had to say on this one.” — JIMMY FALLON“What a waste. Trump could have spent that hour not helping roll out the vaccine.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Worse Than Watergate Edition)“Carl Bernstein, the reporter who broke the Watergate scandal back in the ’70s, said what Trump said on this tape was, quote, ‘far worse than Watergate.’ But I guess Trump figures, ‘I’ve only got two weeks left — what the hell?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It doesn’t mean much to Trump. He thinks Watergate is about toilets not flushing hard enough.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, The Washington Post published an audio recording of President Trump asking the Georgia secretary of state to find enough votes to overturn his loss in the state. Wow, things have gotten a lot easier for The Post since they broke Watergate — now Deep Throat is just Trump himself.” — SETH MEYERS“Apparently every January, Trump’s New Year’s resolution is to find a new way to get impeached.” — JIMMY FALLON“He tried everything. He bragged, he challenged, he threatened. He told the secretary of state he would come to Georgia and eat all their peaches — nothing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s like a guy without a silver bullet brainstorming other ways to kill a werewolf. [As Trump] ‘What about two regular bullets? Is that something that might work?’” — SETH MEYERS“What you heard is definitely the voice of a man who’s been in debt before. He sounds like he’s begging the waiter at a steakhouse to let him skate on the bill.” — SETH MEYERS“It sounds like he’s trying to get someone to hook him up with a free refill of Dr Pepper, not a presidential election.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon spoofed Harry Styles’s latest music video, with Chloe Fineman of “Saturday Night Live” impersonating Phoebe Waller-Bridge, the creator and star of “Fleabag.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightElizabeth Olsen will promote her new Disney+ series, “WandaVision,” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutTanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton, an earth scientist, in the 1985 James Bond film “A View to a Kill.” She had earlier starred in the last season of “Charlie’s Angels.”Credit…Keith Hamshere/Getty ImagesA miscommunication led to erroneous reports that the actress Tanya Roberts had died, her publicist said.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More