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Late Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.

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Best of Late Night

Late Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.

“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy,” Seth Meyers said.

Credit…NBC

  • Jan. 15, 2021, 2:12 a.m. ET

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.

As his term nears its end, President Trump is said to have refused to pay Rudy Giuliani, his lawyer, the day rate of $20,000 that he asked for. The president also reportedly demanded to personally oversee the approval of reimbursements of Giuliani’s travel expenses.

“This is like the end of ‘The Sixth Sense,’ but instead of Bruce Willis realizing he’s been dead the whole time, it’s Donald Trump realizing that Rudy has the whole time been a bad lawyer,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday’s “Late Night.”

“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy. Guy spent all that time flying to state capitals, rounding up witnesses from the bars at TGI Friday’s and Buffalo Wild Wings, and now Trump won’t even reimburse him. [Imitating Trump] ‘So, you owe me for the time I called you into the hearing. It went over on minutes, because Rudy, you’re not friends and you’re not family, so those minutes are costly.’” — SETH MEYERS

“And poor Rudy needed that money for the hair transplant: [Imitating Giuliani] ‘Please, boss, I’m begging you. Don’t make me go back to the mud water!’” — SETH MEYERS

“Trump doesn’t want to pay that. He could’ve hired Gary Busey for a hundred bucks to do the same thing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Sucks for Giuliani. Now he’s going to have to make money on the side, bottling Uncle Rudy’s Original Skull Syrup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Though I could understand wanting to take a closer look at Rudy’s expenses, given that so far, he’s submitted receipts for ‘Delta business-class brand plastic bottle vodka,’ ‘Uber XL T-shirt that I slept in behind the racetrack’ and ‘pay-per-view porn: “Oops! All Cousins!”’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“They say Trump isn’t even taking Rudy’s calls anymore. Now the only way for Rudy to get through is if someone says his name three times in a mirror.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“I wonder who leaked this story. Maybe it was Giuliani’s head.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“But this is what Trump does. Even if you don’t jump ship, sooner or later he’ll throw you off it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“These two were inseparable, and now it’s come to this. It feels like Dr. Frankenstein breaking up with Igor.” — JIMMY FALLON

“And you know Trump’s upset when he’s starting to make careful decisions with his money.” — JAMES CORDEN

“This is like the end of ‘Jurassic Park’ when the raptors and the T-rex just turn on each other at the end.” — JAMES CORDEN

“Trump says he is only ready to pay for two seasons’ worth of total landscaping.” — JAMES CORDEN

“Rudy seemed blindsided by the decision, although when hair dye is constantly leaking into your eyes, it’s hard to see anything coming.” — JIMMY FALLON

“I cannot wait until this somehow ends with Trump hiring Rudy Giuliani to sue Rudy Giuliani.” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s great. The president’s spending his last days in office going over receipts like he’s Janis from accounting: [imitating Trump] ‘Did you stay two nights at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping? We’re not paying for that. That’s not a hotel.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Even if Trump doesn’t pay him back, at least Rudy racked up a ton of frequent-liar miles.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Tell you what, I would sign up for a streaming service that showed nothing but Trump’s stuff being moved out of the White House. I don’t know how much I would pay a month, but it’s a lot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Trump’s still president for five more days, but that place is emptier than a rest-stop Cinnabon at 3 a.m.” — SETH MEYERS

“Love to imagine Trump piling all his stuff into crates: his oversized suits, his ties that are so long that no matter how you pack them, a little bit pokes out.” — SETH MEYERS

“Trump’s giving stuff away like the sun’s about to set on his weekend garage sale. He’s like, ‘You know what? It’s getting late — just take it. I was only going to charge a dime for it.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“An unidentified trio seemed to have made off with a bust of Abraham Lincoln. Is it possible that Trump is looting the White House before he goes? He’s going to use that as a hood ornament on his golf cart.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“And I sure hope someone is watching him pack because he’s definitely going to try to steal stuff. ‘Sir, why is the bust of Lincoln being packed away?’ ‘Uh, what? No, this is mine from home. I brought it. It’s not actually Lincoln — it’s my uncle, um, uh, Beard Trump.’” — SETH MEYERS

“Later, another guy was seen carrying out Mike Pence. He was like, ‘Hey, put me down! I’m not a statue. Mother! Mother!’” — JIMMY FALLON

Senator Bernie Sanders weighed in on recent events in Washington while appearing on Thursday’s “Late Show.”

Credit…Gilles Mingasson/Hulu, via Associated Press

L.G.B.T.Q. representation on television has decreased for the first time in five years.

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Source: Television - nytimes.com


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