“The fire is believed to have started after Fox News’ pants caught on fire,” Jimmy Kimmel said.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
We Didn’t Start the Fire
A 50-foot tree in front of Fox News’s New York City headquarters was set on fire early Wednesday.
“The fire is believed to have started after Fox News’ pants caught on fire,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.
“The fire is believed to have started because Judge Jeanine Pirro ate one too many rum balls and breathed on a cigarette.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I’ve seen trees — this is not one of them. That is a hollow structure that sort of resembles a tree, in the same way Tucker Carlson is a hollow structure that sort of resembles a human.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And Fox News tried to warn us this was coming. Every time a store clerk says, ‘Happy holidays,’ a Christmas tree bursts into flames.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Authorities arrested a suspect last night, and police say that they believe he is homeless and mental illness may have played a factor. Homeless and mentally ill? Oh, my God — the fire was set by Bill O’Reilly!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“[To the tune of ‘It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas’] It’s beginning to look a lot like arson, everywhere you go. Take a look at the tree and then, the flames are roaring once again. Doocy, stop, drop, roll.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Fired Up Edition)
“Even though lighting trees on fire is very much in line with Fox’s position on climate change, the hosts of their morning show were very upset today.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And it is not clear how this happened. It could be an accident. It could be arson. It could be Santifa.” — TREVOR NOAH
“Now, I know what you’re thinking, but the ghost of Hugo Chavez has an alibi.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Of course, this never would have happened if the tree had a gun.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
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What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
