Kimmel said Republicans had a choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”
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Huge in New Hampshire
The New Hampshire Republican primary took place on Tuesday, kicking off in the township of Dixville Notch, as is tradition.
Jimmy Kimmel said that voters had a tough choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”
“Spoiler alert: Haley ended up sweeping the Dixville Notch primary, winning all six votes. Yeah, now, six votes might not sound like a lot, unless you’re Ron DeSantis.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Today was the New Hampshire primary. And then tomorrow, diner customers can go back to eating their meals in peace.” — SETH MEYERS
“The New Hampshire primary is over, which means the candidates can stop pretending like they want to be in New Hampshire in January.” — JIMMY FALLON
“It was a tense day for former President Trump. He spent all day wondering if he won New Hampshire or if the vote was rigged.” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s right, Trump spent the day awaiting the verdict, although he’s pretty much spent the last year and a half awaiting a verdict. He’s used to it.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Haley had a unique advantage in New Hampshire because, like the state, her initials are ‘N.H.,’ which after tonight will stand for ‘not happening.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Cognition Impossible Edition)
“In a new interview, presidential candidate Nikki Haley questioned former President Trump’s mental fitness and said that she thinks he is ‘declining,’ while Trump thinks Nikki Haley is that lady from ‘Law and Order.’” — SETH MEYERS
“The two of you need to sit down side by side, live television — not so close he can cheat off you, but pretty close to each other. We’ll put a divider between you so he doesn’t get chicken-nugget grease on your dress, and let’s find out whose brain works better. We’ll call it ‘Cognition Impossible.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It would be the television event of the year. [imitating host] ‘First question, Mr. Trump — define the word ‘aptitude.’ [imitating Trump] ‘It’s when the plane goes up.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I bet he couldn’t pass the quiz on a Denny’s place mat.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon found his guest, Kevin James, stuck in his viral meme pose on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The “Succession” star J. Smith-Cameron will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”
Also, Check This Out
This year’s biggest Oscar snubs include the women of “Barbie,” Leonardo DiCaprio, and the “May/December” star Charles Melton.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
