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      Jimmy Kimmel Roasts Republicans for Crying Wolf

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      President Biden “sent an elite team of ultraliberal F.B.I. agents to assassinate Donald Trump, but somehow he slipped out the back door,” Kimmel joked on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Losing the PlotNewly unsealed files from the F.B.I. search of Mar-a-Lago in 2022 showed that agents were authorized to use deadly force if necessary.“Which is standard operating procedure, whenever the F.B.I. execute a search warrant,” Jimmy Kimmel noted on Wednesday, “but in the MAGA-verse, it is a plot to kill Donald Trump.”Conservatives reacted with outrage to what some have called an assassination attempt, with Trump writing in a campaign email, “Joe Biden was locked and loaded ready to take me out and put my family in danger.”“I always thought of Biden as a doddering old man, but Donald Trump makes him look like one of The Expendables.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“‘Locked and loaded’? ‘Ready to take me out’? I’ve never heard Joe Biden sound so [expletive] cool in my life.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“The diabolical mastermind Joe Biden sent an elite team of ultraliberal F.B.I. agents to assassinate Donald Trump, but somehow he slipped out the back door. Somehow, they missed the fact that the loudest and most famous man in America and all 15 of his Secret Service agents were in New Jersey at the time that they raided Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Bedroom Edition)“Well, speaking of the former president, according to a new report, Trump’s attorneys found classified documents in his bedroom four months after the F.B.I. searched Mar-a-Lago. The lawyers knew Trump was hiding something when they saw a box labeled ‘books.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Oh, my God, the only thing more shocking to find in Donald Trump’s bedroom would be a current wife.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, to be fair, Trump rarely goes into his bedroom. As we’ve recently learned, he does most of his sleeping in court.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJay Pharoah performed diss raps in the style of Shaquille O’Neal, 50 Cent, Katt Williams and more on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe musician and “The Voice” star John Legend will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutOn his 41st  wedding anniversary, the actor Peter Gallagher talks about happy matrimony.Photo Illustration by The New York Times; Photo: Charley Gallay/Getty Images For NetflixThe actor Peter Gallagher discussed his four-decades-long marriage to Paula Harwood on this week’s Modern Love Podcast. More

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      Late Night Laments That Trump Didn’t Testify at His Trial

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      Jimmy Fallon said Trump wanted to take the stand in his criminal case on Tuesday, “but then he saw it was three steps without a handrail.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.False TestimonyDonald Trump’s defense rested in his criminal trial on Tuesday. Despite previous statements, Trump did not testify on his own behalf.“He wanted to take the stand, but then he saw it was three steps without a handrail,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Tuesday.“That is shocking. Trump is not talking? What happened — did he write himself a check for $130,000?” — STEPHEN COLBERT”So he’s doing the opposite of what he told us he was going to do over and over again? That’s not the Donald Trump I know, and I played full-contact hockey without a helmet this morning.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Is it possible that Donald Trump is full of [expletive]?” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Fourth Reich’ Edition)“OK, if you zoom in, you can see they slipped in the words ‘A Unified Reich.’ A Fourth Reich, if you will.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on a video reposted on Trump’s Truth Social account“The good news is Trump wants to bring the country together. The bad news is that country is Germany in 1933.”— JIMMY KIMMEL“Evidently MAGA now stands for ‘Make America Germany Around 1938.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“When they saw the ad, even Confederate statues were, like, ‘You should take that down.’” — JIMMY FALLON“What else does this man have to do for people to see what he is? Grow the mustache?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“How many of his supporters do you think would say, ‘All right, that’s too much for me.’ I’d guess maybe 10.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingBillie Eilish performed her new single “Lunch” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Curb Your Enthusiasm” star J.B. Smoove will appear on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutGraceland served as Elvis Presley’s personal home in Memphis from 1957 until his death in 1977, at the age of 42.Brandon Dill/Associated PressThe actress Riley Keough claims that a company is fraudulently planning to auction off the Memphis home of her grandfather, Elvis Presley. More

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      Stephen Colbert Slams Justice Alito for Using His Wife as a Scapegoat

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      Colbert joked that Alito “dropped a dime on his gal” when the Supreme Court justice blamed his wife for the flying of an upside-down American flag at their home shortly after Jan. 6.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.(Blame It On My) Wife GuySupreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has come under fire after photos showed an upside-down American flag flying in front of his Virginia home shortly after the insurrection on Jan. 6, 2021.Stephen Colbert said on Monday that there is “no possible reason for a Supreme Court justice displaying a symbol of insurrection at his home, which is why, when this photo was published, Alito immediately did the right thing, owned up and blamed his wife.”“So he dropped a dime on his gal, citing the landmark case of ‘Me Just Tryna Live My Life v. Ladies Be Crazy, Amirite?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And that’s significant because, at that time, the upside-down flag had become a symbol of the ‘Stop the Steal’ movement, and even worse, all of Alito’s garden gnomes were fully Q-Anon.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So, Alito clearly knew about this because he came and went for several days, and, to paraphrase my favorite spangled banner, ‘The flag was still there.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“By the way, if you didn’t like those jokes, they were my wife’s idea. I just came home, and the jokes were there. I had nothing to do with those jokes.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Defense Rests Edition)“Speaking of Trump’s hush money trial, today after calling 20 witnesses over the past month, the prosecution rested their case. When he heard, Trump was like, [imitating Trump] ‘Big deal, I’ve been resting the whole case.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Prosecutors concluded their case today. The defense is expected to rest tomorrow, and I have to say, I don’t think the defense has ever been more well rested than this one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today, Michael Cohen was back on the stand in Trump’s hush money trial and he admitted to stealing $30,000 from the Trump organization. It’s nice at the end of one trial when they tease the next trial.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Tony nominee Eddie Redmayne discussed playing the Emcee in the Broadway revival of “Cabaret” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe journalist and filmmaker Sebastian Junger will discuss his new book, “In My Time of Dying,” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This Out“Stax: Soulsville, U.S.A.,” on HBO, looks back at the influential record label that turned out hits and minted stars like Isaac Hayes, seen here at the 1972 Wattstax concert in Los Angeles.Howard BinghamHBO’s new series, “Stax: Soulsville, U.S.A.,” details the triumph and tragedy of the iconic record label that was home to Otis Redding, Isaac Hayes and the Staple Singers. More

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      Seth Meyers Slams Republicans Supporting Trump at His Trial

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      Meyers joked that “sitting front row at the Trump trial must be like the MAGA version of sitting courtside at a Knicks game.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Character StudiesOn Thursday, Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert were the latest Republican lawmakers to show up in support of former President Donald Trump at his criminal trial in New York.Seth Meyers joked that “sitting front row at the Trump trial must be like the MAGA version of sitting courtside at a Knicks game.”“Well, I get it. It’s good publicity for Boebert and good practice for Gaetz.” — SETH MEYERS“You see, Trump is under a gag order and can’t attack people involved in the case the way he wants to, so his workaround is to summon his army of puppets to do his bidding. The problem is character witnesses should be people of high character, not people of whom you would say ‘He’s a real character.’” — SETH MEYERS“If you’re on trial for a criminal charge where character is central to the case, Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert aren’t exactly the role models you want with you in the room. That’s like if O.J.’s buddy at his trial were Charles Manson, Hannibal Lecter.” — SETH MEYERS“Got to say I’m surprised to see Lauren Boebert there. Not surprised she showed up, just surprised she hasn’t been kicked out yet. I mean, if you’re going to get handsy during a performance of ‘Beetlejuice: The Musical,’ I can’t imagine how turned on you’d get for a hush-money-to-a-porn-star trial.” — SETH MEYERS“Seriously, this is how grimy and pathetic the Republican Party has become. The only thing sadder than having to sit in a dreary New York City courtroom for your porn-star-hush-money trial is sitting in a dreary New York City courtroom for someone else’s porn-star hush money.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Ventriloquist Edition)“That’s right, Lauren Boebert was in the audience, so whoever sat next to her may end up with their own hush-money trial.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They’re saying by next week Trump will run out of supporters and just show up with a ventriloquist dummy.” — JIMMY FALLON“Seriously, there are more Republican members of Congress at Trump’s criminal trial than there at the Capitol. Just going to throw this out there: Might be a good day to storm it.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingNorah Jones performed the song “Paradise” from her new album, “Visions,” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJenny Holzer’s “For The Guggenheim,” 2008/2024, a nighttime light projection on the facade of the Guggenheim Museum, features spare, heartbreaking poetry by Wislawa Szymborska and other poets Holzer admires.Jenny Holzer/Artist Rights Society (ARS), New York; Photo by Erik Sumption/ Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New YorkThe artist Jenny Holzer’s new career-spanning show at the Guggenheim, ”Light Line,” includes a new LED sign that scrolls up all six levels of the museum’s ramp. More

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      Late Night Looks Forward to the Trump-Biden Debates

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      “Just like that, they’re going head to head, toe to toe, mano a mango,” Stephen Colbert said of two forthcoming presidential debates in June and September.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Mano a Mango’President Biden and Donald Trump agreed to two forthcoming presidential debates on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert joked that “the debate over debating is finally over.”“Just like that, they’re going head to head, toe to toe, mano a mango.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, Trump agreed to the debate. He said, ‘I’ll be there, assuming it’s OK with my parole officer.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The first debate will be next month, which is the earliest a presidential debate has ever been, and, if we’re being honest, an early-bird debate feels right for these guys.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s really quite something to challenge your opponent to a debate anytime, anywhere, anyplace while you’re standing behind barricades at a mandatory court appearance for your criminal trial.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Let’s Get Ready to Ramble Edition)“Yep, Biden and Trump will meet June 27 on CNN, and one of Biden’s debate conditions was not having an audience, so that explains why it’s on CNN.” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden is looking forward to laying out his 2024 agenda, while Trump is just happy to go somewhere where nobody will draw him while he sleeps.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump jumped right on the offer, posting, ‘Just tell me when — I’ll be there. Let’s get ready to rumble!’ Rumble? I’ve seen your rallies. I think you mean, ‘Let’s get ready to ramble.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingCast members from the new Broadway adaptation of “The Great Gatsby” performed the song “My Green Light” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe actor and humorist Nick Offerman will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutJoel Grey and Eddie Redmayne each have played the Emcee in the Broadway classic “Cabaret”New York TimesJoel Grey and Eddie Redmayne discussed their shared history of playing the Emcee in “Cabaret” several times over. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Celebrates 10 Years of Hosting ‘The Tonight Show’

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      Fallon thanked his wife, his kids, “and, most of all, my lawyer, Michael Cohen.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.What a Difference a Decade MakesJimmy Fallon celebrated 10 years of hosting “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday.“Ten years,” Jimmy Fallon said. “It’s hard to believe, when I got the job, Joe Biden was just a fresh-faced 71-year-old.”“That’s right, we’ve been on the air for one pandemic, two presidential elections and 300 ‘Fast and the Furious’ movies.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, I want to say thank you to my wife, my kids, and, most of all, my lawyer, Michael Cohen.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Cohen in Court Edition)“Former President Trump appeared to fall asleep yesterday during Michael Cohen’s testimony for a full half-hour. Again? You know, I was excited for this trial, but it seems like the only thing we’re accomplishing is making sure Trump is well rested before the election.” — SETH MEYERS“During his testimony, Cohen laid out tons of evidence, including tapes, emails, photos and calendar events. It’s pretty impressive — one of Trump’s lawyers might actually win a case.” — JIMMY FALLON“Cohen’s testimony seems to prove that Trump was directly involved in paying off Stormy Daniels. For instance, yesterday, Cohen told the court that after first resisting, Trump eventually ordered him to pay Daniels $130,000, telling him, ‘Just do it.’ In response, Nike has changed their slogan to ‘Yay! Sneakers!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingMs. Lauryn Hill and YG Marley performed a medley of “Ex-Factor/Survival/Praise Jah In The Moonlight” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightAmy Ryan, who stars in the Apple+ series “Doubt,” will sit down with Desi Lydic on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutJustice Smith and David Alan Grier in “The American Society of Magical Negroes.”Tobin Yelland/Focus FeaturesRecent Black satires like “American Fiction” and “The American Society of Magical Negroes” have used absurdist humor to examine race, with mixed results. More

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      Stephen Colbert Finds Donald Trump ‘Past His Expiration Date’

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      Michael Cohen’s testimony gave the host plenty of fodder, especially when he described Donald Trump speculating about going back “on the market.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Only One Way to Get Paid’Donald Trump’s former lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen, took the stand on Monday in the former president’s hush money trial.“Now, you never want to be the middleman between your boss and a porn star,” Colbert said of Cohen. “Sure, it sounds titillating when they ask, but eventually it’s just a tangle of limbs, and you’re just kind of watching.”“Michael Cohen testified today that former President Trump once said that he wouldn’t be single for very long if former first lady Melania Trump were to leave him. So, yeah, he wrote his own vows.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Michael Cohen testified today that Trump once asked him how long he’d be single if Melania were to leave him and said, ‘How long do you think I’d be on the market for? Not long.’ On the market? You’re a 78-year-old psychopath with massive debt. That’s not a market, that’s a lost-and-found bin.” — SETH MEYERS“Coincidentally, ‘not long’ is how Stormy described it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But it’s true — he would be off the market soon. I mean, he is clearly past his expiration date.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“During his testimony today, Cohen also said that he was never paid for early legal work he did for Trump. Of course not! He doesn’t pay his lawyers, he doesn’t pay his contractors. There’s really only one way to get paid by Donald Trump, and it is not worth it.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Hannibal Lecter Edition)“At this rally, Trump talked about the ‘Silence of the Lambs’ character Hannibal Lecter and said he was a ‘wonderful man.’ First of all, Hannibal Lecter isn’t real. He’s a character played by Anthony Hopkins, a wonderful man who is real. Second, the character Hannibal is not a wonderful man, he’s a cannibal who murdered a bunch of people. And third, please tell me this is not your VP announcement.” — SETH MEYERS“What is going on? I’m no political expert, but maybe don’t keep saying, ‘the late, great Hannibal Lecter.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Oh, I love ‘Silence of the Lamb.’ It’s one of my favorite movies right up there with ‘Star War,’ “Dance with Wolf’ and ‘Jaw.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“‘Late great’? In none of the stories does Hannibal Lecter die, and Sir Anthony Hopkins is very much still alive. Does Trump just think a character dies when he turns off the T.V.?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSnoop Dogg and Jimmy Fallon wore matching American tracksuits on Monday to celebrate the upcoming Paris Olympics.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe “All Fours” author Miranda July will appear on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Appropriate,” Sarah Paulson aims to present “a fully realized person up there that you can have some connectivity to.”Matthew Leifheit for The New York TimesThe actress Sarah Paulson received a Tony Award nomination for her return to Broadway in “Appropriate.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Recaps Stormy Daniels’s Testimony in Court

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      “Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Quite a dayOn Thursday, former President Donald Trump’s defense attorneys concluded their cross-examination of Stormy Daniels.“And I’ll tell you, it was quite a day to be a stenographer. These are actual phrases that were used in court today: ‘Human toilet,’ ‘Orange turd’ and ‘Make America horny again.’ And print those out and hang them on the Smithsonian wall.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During her cross-examination today, one of Trump’s lawyers asked Stormy Daniels, ‘You made all this up, right?’ A strategy that immediately backfired when Trump yelled, ‘No, she didn’t! We had sex!’” — SETH MEYERS“Today, former President Trump’s attorneys finished their cross-examination of Stormy Daniels, and they accused her of lying and hawking merchandise for personal gain. Trump was like, ‘This also feels like a shot at me, too.’” — JIMMY FALLON“[imitating Trump] And for more on why it’s so wrong to be a sleazy money-grubbing merch seller, please buy my God Bless America Donald Trump Bible.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Heated and Intense Edition)“Today’s cross-examination was described as ‘heated’ and ‘intense,’ which coincidentally are the only two settings on Trump’s tanning bed.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was like, ‘If you think that’s bad, you should see the texts I’m getting from Melania.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former President Trump appeared to briefly fall asleep in court again this morning during adult film star Stormy Daniels’s testimony. Because in real life, you can’t fast-forward the scenes where the actors are talking.” — SETH MEYERS“But this was not her first rodeo, and they would have known that if they would have seen her movie, ‘My Third Rodeo.’ Very good. It’s part of a series.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJohn Della Volpe, the polling director at the Harvard Institute of Politics, sat down with Jon Stewart to discuss his new book “Fight: How Gen Z is Channeling Their Fear and Passion to Save America” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutCass Elliot performing on her television special “Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore” in September 1973. After she went solo, she found it hard to shake her nickname.CBS Photo Archive, via Getty ImagesFor 50 years, singer Cass Elliott’s talent has been overshadowed by a hurtful rumor about her death. More