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    Stephen Colbert Skewers Trump’s Covid Response

    Colbert joked on Monday night about a forthcoming book on the former president’s pandemic plan: “The main detail: There wasn’t one.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Detour to GuantánamoA forthcoming book by two Washington Post journalists is said to provide new information about the Trump administration’s response to the coronavirus pandemic.“The main detail: There wasn’t one,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday night.According to the book, early in the pandemic former President Donald J. Trump suggested sending Covid-infected American cruise ship passengers to the Guantánamo Bay naval base in Cuba to avoid adding to U.S. case numbers.“The president wanted to send cruise ship passengers to Gitmo, so enjoy your beach day with a complimentary head sack, then hit the bar for bottomless piña colada boarding.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And you know he said he wants to send them to ‘Geronimo Bay’ or something like that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course the reality star wanted to send them to an island. He probably sent a camera crew, too, and called it ‘Survirus’ or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This is another good McNugget for the book. Trump — they say he was very upset about Covid testing because he believed that positive tests would look bad and hurt his chances of re-election. He had a call with Alex Azar, who was his secretary of health and human services, and he demanded to know what ‘idiot’ decided to make the federal government do testing, and Alex Azar was like, ‘Uh, do you mean Jared?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL, referencing Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser“Imagine being in that administration and someone calling you ‘the idiot.’ That’s like being in the N.B.A. and your nickname is ‘the tall guy.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Half the Cheer Edition)“The Olympics are almost here, and today organizers announced that venues will be at 50 percent capacity. That’s right, 50 percent, which means only four people will be allowed to watch fencing instead of the normal eight.” — JIMMY FALLON“Tokyo residents will be allowed to go to the Games but will not be allowed to cheer and they have to go straight home after. Whoever came up with these rules should win the gold medal for buzzkill.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Can you imagine going to a live sporting event with no cheering allowed? It’s like a Detroit Lions game.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Also they said fans aren’t allowed to cheer. Although they say that at the beginning of every graduation, and parents are still like, ‘Thomas, yeah! Tommy, you did it. That’s my boy, Tommy!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingPaul Rudd crashed Bill Hader’s “Conan” interview on Monday night.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightWanda Sykes, star of the new Netflix sitcom “The Upshaws,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJack Robinson/Hulton Archive, via Getty ImagesJames Taylor, Brandi Carlile and other artists reflect upon Joni Mitchell’s album “Blue” on its 50th anniversary. More

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    What’s on TV This Week: ‘Two Gods’ and ‘Conan’

    PBS airs a documentary about a New Jersey coffin maker and his mentees. And the final episode of “Conan” airs on TBS.MondayINDEPENDENT LENS: TWO GODS (2021) 10 p.m. on PBS (check local listings). Hanif, a coffin maker in Newark takes a pair of mentees under his wing in this admirable documentary from the filmmaker Zeshawn Ali. Through intimate black-and-white footage, the film delves into Hanif’s life, and the way that his guidance bolsters his young students. Ali does this with “a matter-of-fact compassion,” Nicolas Rapold wrote in his review for The New York Times. “He cuts efficiently without turning anyone into a case study.” More

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    Seth Meyers Sums Up Biden’s Time at G7

    “Biden’s message at these meetings has been simple: America is back. You know, like the McRib, America’s back for a limited time only, offer not valid in Florida,” Meyers joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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    Conan O’Brien Says No More Trump Jokes for Final Two Months on TBS

    O’Brien said the last episodes of “Conan” will feature special guests and clips of his favorite moments on the show before he moves to HBO Max.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fourth Time’s the CharmIn his Monday night monologue, Conan O’Brien announced that after 11 years, he will be “winding down” his TBS late night show, with a final episode airing June 24.“Some of you are wondering why am I doing this? Why end things here at TBS?” O’Brien said. “And I’ll tell you: because a very old Buddhist monk once told me that to pick something up, you must first put something down.”O’Brien said he is leaving to launch a “fourth iteration” of his program with HBO Max later this year, and that his final two months on TBS will be dedicated to clips of his favorite moments and will feature special guests.“I’m very proud of what we’ve accomplished here,” O’Brien said. “And so what I’d like is I’d like these last couple of weeks to be a fond look back at all the absurd madness that my team and I have concocted. Best of all, I just want to point out, there will be shockingly few, if any, references to Donald Trump because that’s always been my favorite kind of comedy.”The Punchiest Punchlines (Things Are Looking Up Edition)“According to a new ABC News poll, Americans are more hopeful about the future than they have been in 15 years, since 2006. Of course, the poll was conducted before we found out Elon Musk is hosting ‘Saturday Night Live,’ so we’ll see if it holds up.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, we’re feeling good. We have vaccines in our arms, stimulus checks in our pockets and hot sauce in our Goldfish.” — JIMMY FALLON“According to polls, the last time we were close to being this optimistic was 2006. I’m not surprised. That was when Tom Hanks brought back the mullet.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, 64 percent are feeling optimistic, while the other 36 percent had a rough weekend at the Kentucky Derby.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingRoy Wood Jr. shared the history of Black royalty on Monday’s “The Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightDr. Anthony Fauci will offer some coronavirus updates on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutLou Diamond Phillips as Ritchie Valens in the 1987 biopic.Columbia PicturesThe 1987 box office hit “La Bamba” was a watershed moment for films about Latinos, yet Hollywood failed to capitalize on its audience appeal. More

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    Royals’ Interview Response Rings Hollow to Late-Night Hosts

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightRoyals’ Interview Response Rings Hollow to Late-Night HostsStephen Colbert was puzzled by the British monarchy’s concern about being seen as out of touch: “Because if there’s one thing the palace surrounded by iron spikes looked like before, it was ‘in touch.’”Late-night hosts read from the British royal family’s response to Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex.Credit…CBSMarch 10, 2021Updated 6:57 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Royally Out of TouchLate-night hosts on Tuesday discussed the British royal family’s response to Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, which included allegations of racism that observers say could cause lasting damage to the monarchy.“Palace sources say the Windsors were blindsided because they thought at worst, the interview would make them look out of touch,” Stephen Colbert said. “Because if there’s one thing a palace surrounded by iron spikes looked like before, it was ‘in touch.’ Now, remember not to make eye contact with the lady whose face is on the coins.”“Buckingham Palace today released a statement on behalf of the queen that begins, ‘The whole family is saddened’ — saddened is another word for bull [expletive] — ‘to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan.’ Oh, they just found out. ‘The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning. While some recollections may vary, they will be addressed privately.’ In other words, Prince Charles is about to get a royal shoe in his [expletive].” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The statement continues, ‘They are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately.’ Oh, no doubt. I hear Prince Andrew has an island he goes to to address his privates.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“For those who aren’t fluent in palace speak, they’re basically saying, ‘We’re sorry you feel this way.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The statement would have sounded more sincere if they didn’t end it with, ‘So, we good?’” — JIMMY FALLONEmotional ExitHosts also couldn’t resist poking fun at the television anchor Piers Morgan, who resigned from “Good Morning Britain” on Tuesday after being called out on air for frequently speaking ill of Meghan.“That’s right, after months of criticizing Meghan Markle for making an emotional exit, Piers stormed offstage in an emotional exit.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Piers is leaving, and he asked to be taken in by Tyler Perry and given full security.” — JIMMY FALLON“Piers Morgan is such a baby, someone at Buckingham Palace just asked what color he’s gonna be.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Congratulations. Tomorrow’s going to be a great morning, Britain.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Dog Bites Man Edition)“Speaking of aggressive behavior, at the White House there’s been what has been described as ‘a biting incident’ involving President Biden’s German shepherd, Major, who allegedly sank his teeth into an unnamed individual. Major has been stripped of his rank; he’s dishonorably discharged.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, before you worry, the dog is fine. He wasn’t sent to a farm upstate in Delaware, because Delaware doesn’t have an upstate. It barely has a state.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Apparently Major was jumping, barking and charging at people. You’d think after the last four years, the White House staff would be used to that.” — JIMMY FALLON“I just want to point out that we’re a month and a half into the Biden administration and the first scandal is literally ‘Dog Bites Man.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They sent him back home to live in Delaware. See, that’s another difference between Biden and Trump: When Biden’s dog misbehaves, they send him home. When Trump’s dog misbehaved, he sent his supporters to storm the Capitol and get him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When Major heard he was going back to Delaware, he was like, ‘No, please! A kennel, the pound, anything — just not Delaware.’” — JIMMY FALLON“See, under the last administration, that kind of behavior would have made you press secretary.” — SETH MEYERS“Major was removed from the White House. He was impooched.” — JAMES CORDEN“Yep, Major and Champ have left the White House, and Sunday night they’re sitting down with Oprah to discuss where it all went wrong.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“Conan” compiled all the edited American ads that played during the British airing of the Oprah interview.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe actor Kevin Bacon will appear on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutNorton Juster in 2011 at his home in Northampton, Mass. “The idea of children looking at things differently is a precious thing,” he once said. “The most important thing you can do is notice.”Credit…Bill Greene/The Boston Globe, via Getty ImagesThe late Norton Juster changed children’s literature with his 1961 illustrated classic “The Phantom Tollbooth.”AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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    Late Night Recaps Oprah’s Royal Interview

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Recaps Oprah’s Royal Interview“You know things are bad at Buckingham Palace if they came to America to get away from racism,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Monday night.Jimmy Kimmel said Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan, had made a number of startling accusations. He added, “The governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo, vigorously denied all of them, just out of reflex.”Credit…ABCMarch 9, 2021, 1:41 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Spilling the TeaLate night spent Monday recapping some of the biggest reveals from Oprah Winfrey’s bombshell interview with Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, including racism the couple experienced after Meghan, who is biracial, joined the British royal family.“Harry said racism was a big part of their decision to leave, which you know things are bad at Buckingham Palace if they came to America to get away from racism,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“Everyone thinks marrying a prince is like a fairy tale. Turns out, it’s not. Meghan Markle said that when she joined the royal family, they took away her passport, driver’s license and keys. ‘Welcome to the royal family. Please remove your belt and get ready for a cavity search.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Meghan said that at one point things got so bad, she went to H.R. at Buckingham Palace for help and they refused to help. It’s funny that the royal palace has H.R. and it’s just as unhelpful as H.R. everyplace else.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Hold up, you’re saying Buckingham Palace has H.R.? How long has that been around? Because you would think someone in Human Resources might have stepped in to tell Henry VIII that chopping off your wife’s head could be interpreted as a hostile work environment.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And her husband Harry made a number of startling accusations. The governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo, vigorously denied all of them, just out of reflex today.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that there is a possibility — just a possibility, mind you — that this medieval selective breeding program might be racist.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Also, it’s never good when the British ruling class thinks someone is too dark — they steal their land and make them play cricket.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Awkward is four people in the back seat of a car. Awkward is forgetting your friend’s child’s name. One of your relatives asking you to place your child on the Sherman Williams color wheel is royally [expletive].” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Imagine after centuries of inbreeding, all of a sudden these people are concerned about the color of a baby’s skin.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Royal-ish’ Edition)“Well, guys, I have some news to make people feel a little better, and that is the royal family is just as messed up as everyone else’s.” — JIMMY FALLON“Britain’s Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan Markle sat down for an interview last night with Oprah Winfrey, or as British tabloids reported it, ‘Harry’s kidnapper speaks.’” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, it was a big event, mainly because they revealed the baby’s gender in California without burning down an entire forest.” — JIMMY FALLON“They also told Oprah they’ve been cut off financially. Oprah was like, ‘Sorry, I already gave out all my cars — I can’t help you.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The ratings were so big, ABC just offered the couple their own weekly show called ‘Royal-ish.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“Conan” had an exclusive look at the response by Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Charles to the Oprah interview on their podcast, “Fiddlesticks.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightKathryn Hahn, a standout member of the “WandaVision” cast, will appear on Tuesday’s “A Little Late With Lilly Singh.”Also, Check This OutFrom left: Taylor Swift, Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa are among the artists announced as performers for the 63rd annual Grammy Awards.Credit…Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images For Iheartmedia, Rich Fury/Getty Images For Visible, Kevin Winter/Getty Images For DcpTrevor Noah will host this Sunday’s Grammy Awards, featuring live performances from Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Dua Lipa, BTS, Harry Styles, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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    Late Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.“You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off,’” Jimmy Fallon said of Trump’s final few days in office.Credit…NBCJan. 19, 2021, 1:35 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Dreams DeferredLate night celebrated Martin Luther King’s Birthday at the top of their shows by holding up the civil rights activist as an example of a great leader, as opposed to the departing president.“First of all, before anything else, Happy Martin Luther King Day, everybody, when we celebrate a great leader who led a march on Washington that didn’t end with me having to learn about someone named Q Shaman.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“If Dr. King were alive today, he would probably watch the news and go, ‘Let me be more specific about this dream I had.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL[embedded content]“You know, it’s days like today we should all be grateful that Trump can’t tweet.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I’d like to think he’d have a good laugh if he knew the F.B.I. had to spend this federal holiday tracking down and arresting thousands of white supremacists. He did have a second dream, and that was it.” — SETH MEYERSMost of the rest of their monologues were focused on President Trump’s last few days in office.“Well guys, there’s only 36 hours left in Trump’s presidency. You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, just 36 hours left. You can tell time is running out because Trump is now signing pardons with both hands.” — JIMMY FALLON“With Trump, 36 hours still seems like a long time, right? It’s like if someone said, ‘You’re only going to be on fire for 36 more hours.’ That’s a long time. ‘You’re only going to be in this M.R.I. tube for another 36 hours. Try not to move.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Forty-eight hours from now Donald and Malaria, Melania — whoops — will be back home, asleep in separate bedrooms at Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump is reportedly planning on leaving the White House on Wednesday morning for Florida. So he’s not changing his routine at all.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump’s leaving office with his lowest approval rating yet — it’s down to 29 percent. Which, for someone who incited a violent insurrection to overthrow the government isn’t bad. I mean, honestly, what would he have to do to get below 20 percent — eat the Constitution?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump has the lowest average approval rating of any president in the modern era. The only one to leave office with a lower rating than that was Kevin Spacey.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Pardons Edition)“Sources say that tomorrow, on his last full day in office, the president is prepared to issue around 100 pardons and commutations. Why so many? Well, there’s reportedly a lucrative market for pardons. Finally, POTUS is running a business that makes money.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s calling it ‘The Olive Pardon.’ When you’re here, you’re a crime family.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Trump tomorrow is reportedly planning to issue at least 100 pardons and commutations. He said he wanted to give so many so that it would be even more hilarious when Giuliani doesn’t get one.” — SETH MEYERS“You can actually bet on who Trump will pardon, for real. And you know who the odds-on favorite is celebrity-wise? Lil Wayne, Trump’s buddy. They bonded over a mutual love of hip-hop and cough syrup.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During his last hours in office, Trump is planning to issue pardons, but it’s reported it’s not going to be a pardon to himself or his family members. Trump is the only president in history who decides not to pardon himself and you immediately think, ‘What’s he up to?’” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m not surprised Trump didn’t pardon himself today because then he would be liable for whatever he does tomorrow.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump won’t pardon his family either. Actually it’s kind of sweet — Trump told his kids, ‘When I go down for tax fraud, I want you all to be in prison with me.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“Conan” provided a sneak peek at Trump’s “Pardonpalooza.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Aubrey Plaza will pop by “Conan” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutJavicia Leslie’s role in the CW’s “Batwoman” is her first lead part in a major TV series, and she performed many of her own stunts. “I love being up, like, 50 feet in the air,” she said.Credit…CWJavicia Leslie is the first-ever Black live-action Batwoman as the titular character on the second season of the CW series.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More