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    Stephen Colbert Doesn’t Want to Editorialize, but He Will

    Colbert was shocked by a report that 34 lawmakers texted Mark Meadows about subverting the 2020 election. “That is unbelievable — 34 people wanted to talk to Mark Meadows!” he said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.He Gets AroundStephen Colbert was amazed by a report that 34 Republican lawmakers had exchanged text messages with Mark Meadows, the former Trump chief of staff, about overturning the 2020 election results.“That is unbelievable — 34 people wanted to talk to Mark Meadows!” Colbert said on Tuesday night.“These members of Congress communicating with Meadows were — and it’s not my place to editorialize — stupid, evil traitors who were trying to do crimes against democracy, for which they should be punished with decades of jail time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Turns out the calls were coming from inside the House — and the Senate.” — JIMMY KIMMELJimmy Kimmel said “all the usual suspects” were among the 34, including Ted Cruz, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Jim Jordan. “It’s like a gang of Batman’s dumbest enemies,” he said. Another was Representative Ralph Norman of South Carolina, who was said to have written that “we are at a point of no return in saving our Republic!! Our LAST HOPE is invoking Marshall Law!!”“But instead of ‘martial’ he spelled it ‘Marshall,’ like the chain of off-price department stores. And if Marshall Law doesn’t work, we’ll mobilize the TJ Maxxinistas.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Thank God this coup wasn’t planned by people who could solve the Wordle. We’d all be in a lot of trouble right now.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Respecting Marriage Edition)“Today, President Biden hosted a ceremony on the South Lawn to sign a bill that mandates federal recognition for same-sex marriages. When he heard, Mike Pence was like, ‘Barkeep, give me a shot of whole milk. Just leave the whole carton.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Respecting marriage? Wow, he really is undoing all of Trump’s orders.” — SETH MEYERS“That bill passed with strong bipartisan support in the House and Senate. Wow, even the partisanship was bi. That’s really great.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, the bill protects all marriages, unless you’re one of those couples who feed each other in public. Then you’re on your own.” — JIMMY FALLON“That is great news. And I hope you were listening, Alan and Brad. No more excuses. Grandma’s not going to live forever. I booked the Doubletree by the lake for June 9. Get a linen suit.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers took Lizzo day drinking on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightTegan and Sara will perform a song from their new album “Crybaby” on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSZA revels in mixed emotions on her second studio album. Jemal Countess/Getty ImagesSZA puts complex craftsmanship into songs that sound like spontaneous confessions on her new album, “SOS.” More

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    Late Night Isn’t Amused by Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Jan. 6 Joke

    The Republican congresswoman said that if she and Steve Bannon had planned the Capitol riot, “we would have won.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Coulda Shoulda WouldaAt a Republican gala on Saturday, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia made a joke about the Jan. 6 riot: “If Steve Bannon and I had organized that, we would have won.” She added, “Not to mention, it would have been armed.”“You see, the joke is, conservatives are such bloodthirsty psychopaths, if they had actually planned the insurrection on the Capitol, it would have been way more violent,” Seth Meyers said on Monday. “That’s like if Holiday Inn ran an ad that said, ‘If “White Lotus” took place here, a lot more people would have died.’”“Now, let me just say if I saw Greene with a gun, I would definitely be scared, but I refuse to believe Steve Bannon knows how to use one. No one who layers polo shirts is good with a firearm. In a way, they’d make fun partners in a buddy cop movie.” — SETH MEYERS“So, by ‘we’ she means the rioters, and by ‘would have won’ she means ‘overthrown the government’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[Imitating Marjorie Taylor Greene] If I had been in charge of invading my own office, Mike Pence wouldn’t just look like a ghost, he’d be one!’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Keep Your Day Job, Elon Edition)“Elon is being slammed for a tweet he posted yesterday that said, ‘My pronouns are prosecute and Fauci.’ Fauci was like, ‘Yep, much like a Tesla battery, Elon’s on fire.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s like a joke generated by A.I. — it makes no sense. The structure is wrong, it doesn’t rhyme with anything, there are too many syllables. It’s exactly the kind of joke you would expect from a guy who named his son after the bottom row of an eye chart.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, you could tell Fauci wasn’t having it because he wrote back, ‘Congrats on making Twitter the Johnson & Johnson vaccine of social media.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingMichelle Obama exchanged Christmas gifts with Jimmy Kimmel on his Monday night show.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightStanley Tucci will pop by “The Tonight Show” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutSteve Tientcheu in “Les Misérables.”Julien Magre/Amazon StudiosMovies about soccer are often eclectic and at times unclassifiable, drawing from multiple continents and genres. More

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    Late Night Celebrates Raphael Warnock’s Win in the Georgia Runoff

    Stephen Colbert said he was both “gratified and terrified” after Warnock narrowly beat Herschel Walker for a Senate seat.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Warnock For the WinLate night hosts had taped their Tuesday shows before the results from the Georgia Senate runoff were in, so they shared their reactions to Raphael Warnock’s win on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert said he felt a swing of emotions. “Gratified, because Raphael Warnock defeated Herschel Walker, 51.4 percent to 48.6 percent, and terrified, because 48.6 percent of Georgians looked at Herschel Walker and went, ‘Yeah, that guy should be a U.S. senator.’”“Warnock has won Georgia! It’s fitting he’s a reverend, because when I hear that, all I can say is ‘Thank God.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But despite that, it was close. It was really, really close. In fact, if I was Raphael Warnock, my victory speech wouldn’t have been me smiling. I would have been a lot more different. He’s a gracious man. He was talking about democracy and America’s promise. I would have been up there like, ‘Are you people kidding me with this [expletive]? You guys are giving me a two point win over this walking vasectomy commercial? Are you kidding me?’ He is a better man.” — TREVOR NOAH“This is a tough break for Walker, though it’ll take him a couple days to understand what has happened.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Walker was so deeply unqualified that much of the time it seemed like he didn’t even know what was going on. Even Walker’s fellow Republicans warned months ago that he could lose. The only reason he was even a candidate for the Senate in the first place was that he was once on Donald Trump’s game show. Donald Trump fired him from ‘The Celebrity Apprentice,’ but thought he might do better in the United States Senate. [imitating Trump] ‘Herschel, I don’t know if you’re ready to sell corn dogs in Times Square, so let’s put you in charge of the U.S. military first.’” — SETH MEYERS“Rafael Warnock defeated Republican Herschel Walker in the Georgia runoff last night, giving Democrats a 51-49 seat majority in the Senate. Experts say the key to Warnock’s victory was that he wasn’t Herschel Walker.” — JAMES CORDEN“When you take a moment, when you step away from a race, you understand how crazy this was? You had Raphael Warnock, a pastor — a pastor who is preaching at the same church as M.L.K., and Herschel Walker, a man who thinks M.L.K. is how you spell ‘milk.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Herschel, What’s Next? Edition)“With this loss, Walker is expected to return to his previous job, lying about having previous jobs. But on the bright side, it gives him more time to spend with his family, and more time to figure out who that is.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And with the election behind him, Herschel says he will now focus on his true passion, having more kids than Nick Cannon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Herschel’s already working on his next project, which is desperately trying to learn to sing ‘Baby Got Back’ while dressed like an acorn on ‘The Masked Singer.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Herschel has decided to step away from the spotlight to spend more time denying allegations from his family.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” parodied holiday rom-coms with its political parody, “The Daily Show Christmas Movie: A Vote for Love.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightOn Thursday night, Trevor Noah will sign off with his last episode as host of “The Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIce Spice’s “Munch (Feelin’ U)” introduces a new piece of slang. The track made all three of our critics’ lists this year.Edwig HensonWith 70 different songs spanning several genres, our critics share their picks for the best songs of 2022. More

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    The 10 Best Actors of 2022: Michelle Yeoh, Daniel Kaluuya and More

    Welcome to our portfolio of paradoxes. The first is that artists emblematic of great acting in moving images have been captured in still photographs. Another involves the state of the art itself. We chose 10 performances and could easily have doubled that tally, yet all of that talent finds itself in an iffy place. There are no guarantees for a screen actor anymore. There are no guarantees for a screen actor’s audience. We’re not even sure what we mean by “screen.” Read More

    We walked into “The Woman King” intrigued (what, exactly, would a machete-and-sandal melodrama starring Viola Davis look like?) and left astonished. A great performance can amount to something in addition to craft — personality, zeal, observation, lunacy, exactitude, risk, freedom. And that movie had all of those right there in almost every performance. Davis, for instance, did her usual bruising work — an actor at peak intensity. But not only did the film showcase and redouble the might of an established star; it also made one out of Thuso Mbedu, who plays Davis’s — well, just treat yourself.

    Here is someone whom we moviegoers deserve to get to know for years to come. But in what kinds of movies? As what sorts of people? Mbedu can act. But there just isn’t the variety of movies that could sustain all the acting she and many of the performers in the portfolio that follows could do — names you may not know, like Freddie Gibbs and Frankie Corio and, loosely, Vicky Krieps — but who once upon a time would have had a few chances to show what else they’re made of.

    Those chances feel imperiled. And not for the old reasons (for being a woman, for not being white) — although there’s still some of that. The peril is industrial shortsightedness. There’s diminished interest in the human scale of storytelling, particularly in American movies, which increasingly feel the need to go big or risk the audience’s staying home. Perhaps that’s why we’ve turned, along with many an actor, to television, where the ground feels more fertile. Maybe to the point of feeling overgrown.

    And that may be yet another paradox: a state of wild abundance that can seem a lot like scarcity. Talk of the “golden age” of television has receded in the face of the streaming gold rush. There are so many characters and narratives to keep track of. In an economy of scale, the aesthetics of scale can get out of whack. Stories that might have filled out a feature are stretched into six episodes. Eight-episode limited series flop into multiseason epics.

    Yet, somehow, acting thrives in this environment. Mediocre shows and films are often made watchable by the gift and grit of performers (George Clooney and Julia Roberts in “Ticket to Paradise”; Adrien Brody and Rob Morgan in “Winning Time”). There is enough outstanding work on television alone to fill a portfolio twice or three times the size of this one. To that end, we enfolded limited series into the survey and collided with Jon Bernthal, who, on “We Own This City,” managed to turn crooked-cop work into a feat of appalling macho cheer; and were blown away by Toni Collette on “The Staircase,” for which, despite centuries of actors’ simulating death, she invented at least four new and distressing ways to perform dying.

    But there is still, in the midst of all of that, the special lure and allure of the movies, which haven’t actually gone anywhere. Yes, you can stream “The Woman King” at home, but you would miss the bubbling joy of the families with kids — daughters and sons alike — when Davis and Mbedu get in each other’s faces and then join forces to purge their land of slavers.

    Or you would miss the sound of a stranger in the next seat sobbing into his mask during the final shot of “Aftersun,” Charlotte Wells’s memory film about a father and his daughter on holiday in Turkey. All you’re looking at is Corio, playing an 11-year-old Scottish sprite named Sophie, mugging for the camera that her father, Calum (Paul Mescal), is holding as she prepares to board a flight home from their vacation. It’s a jumpy, grainy amateur image (the film takes place in a not-so-distant pre-smartphone past), but it’s also cinema in the most exalted sense.

    Obviously, we hunger for what an actor can do for a movie: for the gruff poetry of Brendan Gleeson in “The Banshees of Inisherin”; for the salty sibling rivalry of Keke Palmer and Daniel Kaluuya in “Nope”; for the pizazz and poignancy of Michelle Williams in “The Fabelmans.” The year’s biggest hit stars Tom Cruise, and its staggering popularity is emphatic proof of what his stardom continues to mean to us. Cate Blanchett, meanwhile, playing a problematic maestro in “Tár,” matched and perhaps even exceeded the character’s mastery. Forget about the multiplex: That’s a performance fit for a concert hall.

    So now that we’ve poured one out for movie-industry scarcity and rebattened the hatches for gushingly abundant TV, what is our true task here? It can’t be lamentation. We’re worried — it’s a critic’s job to be worried — but not yet woebegone. We want to applaud, marvel at and salute the achievement of screen acting, the increasing miracle of it in challenging and confusing circumstances. Because to watch the 10 artists here is to sense that acting remains in fine shape; to watch them is both life-giving and life-affirming. In one montage in “Everything Everywhere All At Once,” time warps everything around Michelle Yeoh except the astonishment on her face. Her surprise — which inspires our own — is proof of the beautiful mystery of the art form, and a reason to reconsider a longtime star’s endurance. How — how — did she pull that off?

    This issue of the magazine is testament to our inability to answer that question. Every great performance is a unique amalgam of training, talent, collaboration and luck. In the end, we don’t know how they do it. What we do know is that we can’t stop watching. More

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    Stephen Colbert Thanks Santa After Trump Organization Is Found Guilty

    Late night hosts were thrilled after the former president’s company was convicted on all 17 counts it faced, including tax fraud.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Christmas MiracleOn Tuesday, the Trump Organization was convicted on 17 counts of tax fraud and other crimes.“Oh, Santa, you got my letter!” Stephen Colbert riffed on the news.“Trump is bragging it’s the most counts ever.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And you know what that means? Donald Trump is going to prison — to visit all the lower-ranking people that did this without his knowledge or his permission.” — TREVOR NOAH“Nothing ever happens to Donald Trump. He’ll probably try to convince us he’s never even heard of the Trump Organization.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“All the successes and Trump’s organization, they are due to the genius of Donald Trump. All the crimes, he had no idea. He’s like, [imitating Donald Trump] ‘That’s right, folks. I have zero control over the things I run, which is why you should vote for me to run the country so I can run it like one of my companies, which I don’t even run. I don’t even run.’” — TREVOR NOAH“What happened was, top execs in the organization got around paying their fair share of taxes through a series of schemes that included off-the-books perks like luxury cars and free apartments. Because nothing makes you look less guilty than giving all your execs a getaway car and a hide-out.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“There’s no word yet on how this is going to impact Trump’s re-election campaign. The reason for that is that it probably won’t.” — JAMES CORDEN“Executives in the organization received fancy apartments, Mercedes-Benzes, even private school tuition for relatives, none of which they paid tax on. I just have to ask: Are they hiring?” — JAMES CORDEN“I don’t get this — how is the organization guilty, but not Donald Trump? This is like if McDonald’s got in trouble, but the Hamburglar got off scot-free.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Herschel Walker’s Last Push Edition)“In Georgia, Raphael Warnock and Herschel Walker are going head-to-head injury in the Senate runoff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Walker spent the day making one final push, which is unusual for him. Usually during the final push, he’s miles away from the hospital at a Waffle House telling a waitress she could be ‘the one.’”— JIMMY KIMMEL“Voters were out at the polls all day, and at 11:35 Eastern time, with 0 percent of precincts reporting, because we taped the show at 5:30, ‘The Late Show’ is ready to project that Herschel Walker does not belong in the Senate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The U.S. Senate is no place for people whose brains don’t work because of football injuries; it’s a place for people whose brains don’t work because they’re 1,000 years old.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not like Herschel didn’t try — he spent years fathering as many voters as possible.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingAmy Poehler and Maya Rudolph appeared on Tuesday’s “Late Night,” where they challenged Seth Meyers to ask them a tough question.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe Linda Lindas will perform on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This Out“Who am I?” asks Orlando, played by Emma Corrin, in a new production at Garrick Theater in London.Marc BrennerEmma Corrin straddles genders and centuries in Neil Bartlett’s breezy adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s novel “Orlando,” now playing at the Garrick Theater in London. More

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    Trevor Noah Takes on Trump’s Attempt to Terminate the Constitution

    “There was no proof of a conspiracy to help defeat Donald Trump,” Noah said. “But you know who doesn’t care about any of that? Donald Trump.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The TerminatorOver the weekend, Donald Trump floated the idea of terminating the Constitution. He was responding to a report about Twitter, specifically its decision, during the 2020 presidential campaign, to block links to an article about Hunter Biden’s laptop.As Trevor Noah noted, some people expected the report — hyped in advance by Twitter’s new owner, Elon Musk — to show that Twitter had colluded with Democrats to repress the story. Instead, it seemed to show the Biden campaign asking Twitter to take down not-safe-for-work Hunter Biden photos. Still, Trump seemed to believe it proved “Massive Fraud” that justified the “termination” of parts of the Constitution, in order to reverse the election results.“There was no proof of a conspiracy to help defeat Donald Trump,” Noah said. “But you know who doesn’t care about any of that? Donald Trump.”“The Constitution is one of the documents he actually stole and took to Mar-a-Lago.” — JAMES CORDEN“Former President Trump on Saturday said that the 2020 election should be overturned and the Constitution should be terminated. Well, I’ll say this for him, he does give a memorable wedding toast.” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, that’s right. The Republican front-runner for president of the United States wants to terminate the Constitution because Twitter wouldn’t allow him to see Hunter Biden’s [expletive].”— TREVOR NOAH“Again with the Hunter Biden laptop! Give it a rest! You don’t hear anyone obsessing over the former president’s son’s laptop. And Eric’s got a good one — it’s made by Fisher-Price, and it can tell you what sound a cow makes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So yeah, sorry, everyone, if you want to see naked people, you’ve got to go to every other website on the internet, I guess.” — TREVOR NOAH“You know, not everyone is a stable enough genius to write down their intention to overthrow democracy in a social media post, but he thinks the Constitution is something that can be terminated, like it’s Meat Loaf on an episode of ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ It doesn’t go like that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s only fair. Trump got to win an election through Facebook, Biden should get to win one through Twitter.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Walker’s Big Run Edition)“Some political news, tomorrow is the Georgia Senate runoff between Herschel Walker and Senator Raphael Warnock. Warnock’s supporters said that they’re voting for him because of his policies, while Walker’s supporters say they’re voting for him because it’s funny.” — JIMMY FALLON“More than 1.8 million Georgia residents have already voted, and that’s just Herschel Walker’s children.” — JIMMY FALLON“Right now, Warnock is leading Walker in the polls by about four points. Yeah, only four points. That explains Warnock’s slogan, ‘Even if I win, I’m genuinely hurt.’” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden said on Friday that Democrats must win the Georgia Senate runoff to avoid a 50-50 split in the chamber. ‘But that would mean the end of my presidency!’ said Joe Manchin.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” Haley Lu Richardson shared the first text message she received from her co-star Aubrey Plaza before they started working together on “The White Lotus.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe all-woman tap group Syncopated Ladies will perform on Tuesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJerrod Carmichael in a scene from his HBO stand-up special “Rothaniel.”HBOJerrod Carmichael’s “Rothaniel” and Atsuko Okatsuka’s forthcoming HBO Max special “The Intruder” are among the best comedy of 2022. More

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    Stephen Colbert Asks Santa to Put Mike Lindell in Charge of the G.O.P.

    “Dear Santa, I have been a very good boy this year,” Colbert said to his Christmas Wish Cam about the MyPillow C.E.O.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.All I Want For ChristmasEarlier this week, Mike Lindell, the chief executive of MyPillow, announced his campaign to become chair of the Republican National Committee.“Sorry, I just need a moment,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday night, turning to his Christmas Wish Cam.“Dear Santa, I have been a very good boy this year. I just want one thing for Christmas: Please put the screamy mustache man in charge of the Republican Party.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But despite Lindell’s MAGA loyalty, the former president has not yet publicly supported his bid. Wow. he hasn’t said anything supportive? But Lindell’s been like a son to — oh, yeah. All right. That makes sense.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But I’m a bit worried here, because an R.N.C. election pitting Lindell against incumbent Ronna McDaniel could tear the party apart between MyPillow MAGA crazies and traditional conservatives, which is why I propose a compromise candidate, someone right down the middle: Pillow. He’s got everything the Republicans want — he’s white, and he’s square.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Early Bird Special Edition)“Today, President Biden hosted French President Emmanuel Macron for the first White House state dinner in more than three years. Yep, the French like to eat late, so Biden was like, ‘Got it, 4:30 it is.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The Bidens hosted the French president and his wife for the first official state dinner. Biden does state dinners a little differently than former presidents — they happen at 4 o’clock, and then everybody goes to bed.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“A state dinner at the White House. I wonder if they serve French food or, as Macron calls it, food.” — JAMES CORDEN“This is a landmark event between the United States and France. They’ve finally started negotiations to get Emily out of Paris.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Jimmy Kimmel Live” special correspondent Jake Byrd riled up fans at a recent Herschel Walker rally in Georgia before speaking with the Senate candidate himself.Also, Check This OutEmma Corrin and Jack O’Connell star in the latest version of “Lady Chatterley’s Lover.”NetflixThe new Netflix adaptation of D.H. Lawrence’s “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” stays faithful to the novel. More

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    Stephen Colbert Is Conflicted Over Oath Keepers Leader’s Conviction

    Colbert said he felt “pretty darn good” about Stewart Rhodes’s verdict: “and I feel a little bad about that, because the thing I feel great about is somebody else going to prison.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Lock Him Up!A jury convicted the Oath Keepers leader Stewart Rhodes of seditious conspiracy on Tuesday, for his participation in the attack on the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021.Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday night that he was conflicted about feeling “pretty darn good” about the news, adding “and I feel a little bad about that, because the thing I feel great about is somebody else going to prison.”“Rhodes was also found guilty of other bad stuff, which is why he is now facing a maximum of 60 years in prison. That’s a long time, baby. That’s a long stretch. On the bright side, by 2082, the hip new look might be steampunk cowboy pirate.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, when you hear the name ‘Oath Keepers,’ you know, and that eye patch, it makes Rhodes sort of seem like a heroic freedom rebel. In reality, he’s a disbarred Yale law grad who wears an eye patch after accidentally shooting himself in the face with his own gun. Oops-a-karma!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s embarrassing, is what it is. That’s like finding out Rambo wears that headband to cover up his ‘live, laugh, love’ tattoo.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This conviction, make no mistake, is a huge deal. It marks the very first time that a jury has decided that the Jan. 6 violence was the product of an organized conspiracy. Well, yeah! I watched it — it sure seemed organized. I don’t remember any headlines that said, ‘Capitol Meet-Cute Gets Out of Hand.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Rhodes is such a scumbag, even his estranged wife chimed in, saying that the conviction is the first time Rhodes has ever faced consequences. Damn! Damn! That is what you call ‘winning the breakup.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (It’s Lit Edition)“December is minutes away from happening, and they got the holidays started in our nation’s capitol tonight. The president and first lady took part in the 100th lighting of the National Christmas Tree. Tonight, thousands of Americans gathered outside the White House to watch an old man flip a light switch.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The tree, it’s 27 feet tall. They did not chop it down. It is a live white fir tree, it was planted last October, after the previous National Christmas Tree was removed in May of 2021 because it had a fungal disease — the second time that year that a fungus had to be removed from the White House.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Wednesday’s “Tonight Show,” Dolly Parton addressed rumors of a secret unreleased song not be released until 2045.What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night“Stranger Things” star Dave Harbour will talk about his new film, “Violent Night,” on Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutChristine McVie of Fleetwood Mac performing at Madison Square Garden in 2014.Charles Sykes/Invision, via Associated PressHere’s a playlist of the 12 best, and best-remembered, songs of Christine McVie, the Fleetwood Mac singer, songwriter and keyboardist who died on Wednesday at 79. More