Late Night with Seth Meyers (TV Program)

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      Seth Meyers: Trump Rallies Are Like an Escape Room

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      “Generally speaking, if you’re at an event and the host of that event keeps insisting no one is going to leave, it is time to start worrying,” Meyers said on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Escaping TrumpDonald Trump, whose campaign speeches have been getting longer, says it isn’t true that people have been leaving his rallies early, despite video evidence to the contrary.Seth Meyers spent a fair amount of time dissecting those denials on Monday’s “Late Night.” He said it was all part of the former president’s elaborate plan to promote his “brand-new Trump escape room.”“[imitating Trump] Also, even if they tried to leave, they can’t because we’ve replaced the regular stairs with M.C. Escher stairs.” — SETH MEYERS“Generally speaking, if you’re at an event and the host of that event keeps insisting no one is going to leave, it is time to start worrying.” — SETH MEYERS“His rallies have almost doubled in length; that’s Trump’s gravest sin as an entertainer. He doesn’t know when to get off the stage. You’re supposed to leave them wanting more. Trump leaves them wanting out.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Dark MAGA Edition)“This weekend, former President Trump held a rally in Pennsylvania, and Elon Musk joined him onstage. It was exciting for all the Trump supporters because, for the first time, they got to see an actual billionaire.” — JIMMY FALLON“During the rally, Trump praised Elon Musk for saving free speech with X, and Elon praised Trump for making Truth Social so bad that people still use X.” — JIMMY FALLON“He’s acting like a guy who won a radio contest: ‘I can’t believe I get to bid on the washer-dryer!’” — JON STEWART, on Musk jumping up and down at the rally“Dude’s jumping like he’s trying to reach the rope ladder on a rescue helicopter: ‘This rally sucks, get me out of here!’” — SETH MEYERS“That is the reason you don’t give kids Mountain Dew.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Elon Musk spoke at former President Trump’s rally in Pennsylvania, wore a black MAGA hat and said, ‘As you can see, I’m not just MAGA, I’m dark MAGA.’ And when I heard that, I cringed so hard I momentarily had abs.” — SETH MEYERS“This guy thinks he’s dark? Dude, you’re the whitest person ever born. You’re the same color they paint apartments after someone moves out.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingGov. Tim Walz, Kamala Harris’s running mate, discussed his past life as a social studies teacher and lunchroom supervisor on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightStephen Colbert will interview Harris on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutChappell Roan has turned songs like “Casual” and “Red Wine Supernova” into cheeky anthems. Jason Kempin/Getty ImagesThe pop star Chappell Roan is navigating stardom with a critical eye on fame. More

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      Late Night Heaps Scorn on Trump’s Latest Defense

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      Jimmy Kimmel said Donald Trump was “partially right” in denying interference in the 2020 election: “He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election.’Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Rignoramus’A newly unsealed court filing in the special counsel’s case against former President Donald Trump detailed attempts at election interference in 2020. Trump refuted those claims, saying that it wasn’t he who rigged the election, “they did.”“He’s actually right about some of that; he didn’t rig the election. He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election. He’s a rignoramus, is what he is.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What a baby. That’s just as bad as Jeffrey Dahmer’s famous defense, ‘No, you ate my neighbor!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I know this is going to sound controversial, but I’m just going to come out and say it: I think Trump might have done something wrong.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (October Surprise Edition)“A federal judge yesterday unsealed a 165-page motion detailing evidence against former President Trump in his election interference case. OK, well, there’s only one way he’s reading 165 pages, and it’s at the Cheesecake Factory.” — SETH MEYERS“According to the filing, Trump told the staff that he was going to declare victory regardless of the results. Vladimir Putin heard and was like, ‘[imitating Putin] My little man is growing up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The news of Trump’s alleged crimes are being called an ‘October surprise,’ while most Americans were like, ‘Um, we’re not that surprised.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingDemi Lovato and Jimmy Fallon shrieked their way through a new haunted house experience, “Tonightmares.”Also, Check This OutSaoirse Ronan in “The Outrun.”Martin Scott Powell/Sony Pictures ClassicsSaoirse Ronan delivers another stunning performance as an alcoholic desperately clinging to sobriety. More

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      Late Night Sums Up a Strangely Chill VP Debate

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      Jimmy Fallon said viewers “were expecting a horror movie, but instead, they got a Hallmark movie.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Debate and SwitchLate-night hosts continued to recap the vice-presidential debate on Wednesday.Jimmy Fallon called it “the craziest debate yet — they actually talked about policy.”“Yeah, this debate turned out to be polite, friendly and intimate — it was jarring. Basically, people were expecting a horror movie, but instead, they got a Hallmark movie.” — JIMMY FALLON“Most people felt that JD Vance had a solid debate. Republicans saw that and were, like, ‘Hey, could we pull a Biden and just go with this guy?’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right. Most polls found that JD Vance won the debate. However, all those polls were taken at a Sephora.” — JIMMY FALLON“Great, the entire debate was pointless and irrelevant. So, in a way, it really did prepare them to be vice president.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“In his closing statement at last night’s debate, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz thanked viewers for missing ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ For those who are unfamiliar, it’s a reality competition show that will hopefully feature JD Vance next season.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump Backs Out Edition)“Former President Trump broke a 50-year tradition for presidential candidates after he backed out of his scheduled interview with ‘60 Minutes’ because he was worried they’d fact-check him. So if you’re keeping track, Trump said that he’ll stand up to the president of China, but Lesley Stahl is a little too scary.” — JIMMY FALLON“You’d think these guys would be embarrassed to be so against fact-checking. You know, if you include some facts in your sentences when you speak, there’ll be nothing to check.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He won’t do ‘60 Minutes,’ but if there is a group of doofuses in flat-brimmed hats with a podcast where they call him ‘Bro,’ he will be happy to plug your energy drink on that.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingIna Garten discussed her new memoir over cosmopolitans with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightPaul Reiser will pop by “Late Night” on Thursday to promote his new buddy comedy, “The Problem With People.”Also, Check This OutSarah Snook won an Olivier Award for “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” which ran in London this year.Marc BrennerThe “Succession” standout Sarah Snook will play all 26 characters in a one-woman stage production of “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” More

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      Late Night Goes Live After a ‘Dull’ Vice-Presidential Debate

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      Stephen Colbert was unenthused by Tuesday’s discourse between Tim Walz and JD Vance.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Two ‘Different Flavors of Dull’“The Late Show” went live Tuesday night after the vice-presidential debate.Stephen Colbert found the debate boring, saying that JD Vance and Tim Walz “were both different flavors of dull.”“JD Vance looked like a business lemur on beta-blockers, and Tim Walz was, you know, the old likable coach but appeared to be way overcaffeinated. I think the governor done overdid doing the Dew.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It was the ultimate showdown tonight between two very different Midwestern vibes. Hillbilly vs. Minnesota nice; attack dog vs. folk hero; America’s dad vs. America’s ‘Dad, could you come pick me up? JD Vance just walked in here.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“These two men were both a heartbeat away from being interesting this evening.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In the end, it was 90 minutes of constant talk that made one thing clear: Tonight was like having Thanksgiving with your most nervous uncle and your smuggest nephew. It was unpleasant, awkward and, thankfully, you only have to do it once every four years.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Almost Famous Edition)“Yep, people you’ve barely heard of on a national stage. Usually we call that ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” — JIMMY FALLON“One of these men will lose, and we’ll never hear from him again, and the other one will become V.P. and we’ll never hear from him again.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“The only other V.P. debate anyone remembers is the time that fly got stuck on Mike Pence’s head. The bar is low.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“They showed each other a lot of respect. It was — it was very boring. I’ll be honest: I like these better with Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I don’t know that anyone’s vote was changed tonight. Watching a vice-presidential debate — it’s like taking your kids apple picking: About halfway through, you’re like, ‘OK, you know what? This sounded like it was going to be fun, but what’s the point?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I read that ahead of the debate, Tim Walz has been nervous that he was going to let Kamala Harris down. Yeah, Harris was like, ‘Don’t worry — if Joe Biden can be replaced, so can you.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Hold Your Breath” star Sarah Paulson faced off against Jimmy Fallon in a new game called “Mute!” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightBen Platt and Brandy Clark will perform their new song “Treehouse” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutRobert Downey Jr. goes dark in “McNeal,” a thought experiment about art and A.I., at the Vivian Beaumont Theater in Manhattan.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesRobert Downey Jr. made his Broadway debut in Ayad Akhtar’s new play, “McNeal.” More

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      Late Night Slams Trump’s Plan to Adapt ‘The Purge’

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      “Good news: He stopped talking about Hannibal Lecter,” Jimmy Fallon said. “Bad news: He suggested we do ‘The Purge’ instead.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Taking a Page from ‘The Purge’ PlaybookDuring a rally in Pennsylvania on Sunday, former President Donald Trump suggested that Americans have “one really violent day” to curtail crime.Late-night hosts likened Mr. Trump’s plans to the popular horror movie franchise, “The Purge.”“Yeah, Trump wants ‘The Purge,’ while his staff wishes he would re-enact ‘A Quiet Place,’” Jimmy Fallon said on Monday.“Good news: He stopped talking about Hannibal Lecter. Bad news: He suggested we do ‘The Purge’ instead.” — JIMMY FALLON“Did he just suggest ‘The Purge’ for stealing from CVS? [imitating Trump] ‘If that doesn’t work, I have other ideas, OK? We put all the shoplifters on a bus with Keanu Reeves. If it goes slower than 50 miles an hour, blammo!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He suggested that the way to end crime would be to have one really violent day, one rough hour that would solve everything, like ‘The Purge’ and so much more. If anyone in your life had, like, a weekend like this, you’d be concerned. Like if your dad had a series of similar outbursts, you’d call your siblings to figure out what to do.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (V.P. Debate Prep Edition)“Tomorrow night in New York, the first and only debate between Tim Walz and JD Vance, this will be the first vice-presidential debate since 2008 in which the candidates will stand instead of sit. I guess they were worried JD Vance might get distracted by a sexy office chair.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Honestly, I’m not even going to watch it, and I’m going to tell you why — because I already know who I’m voting for, vice-president-wise.” — JON STEWART“Actually, today Trump asked Vance if he needed any debate advice, and Vance was like, ‘Absolutely. Do you have Kamala’s number?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Voters were more likely to describe Walz as honest, trustworthy and caring, where they were more likely to describe Vance as nervous, unsettling and damp. But I disagree. You know, when I see JD Vance, I see a man who is grounded, who is rational and so humanlike, you could barely tell he isn’t one.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe best-selling author Ta-Nehisi Coates discussed his new book, “The Message,” with Jon Stewart on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe musician-turned-movie star Lady Gaga will promote “Joker: Folie à Deux” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutBillie Eilish onstage at the Videotron Center on Sunday night. Her new tour supports her most recent album, “Hit Me Hard and Soft.”Julia Spicer for The New York TimesA master class in intimacy and crowd engagement, Billie Eilish’s new Hit Me Hard and Soft tour debuted in Canada on Sunday. More

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      Late Night Roasts New York Mayor Eric Adams Over His Indictment

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that it’s “always fun when the city mimics the exact plot of a Batman movie.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.You Never Forget Your FirstNew York City Mayor Eric Adams has been indicted on five federal charges of bribery, fraud and soliciting illegal foreign campaign donations.“Yeah, it’s always fun when the city mimics the exact plot of a Batman movie,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.“Yep, Adams is the first sitting mayor of New York City to be indicted. It’s shocking. When Rudy Giuliani heard that, he was, like, ‘That can’t be right.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, it turns out Eric Adams was right — crime is way up in New York City.” — SETH MEYERS“Imagine having to call Rudy to ask, ‘You never got indicted as mayor — what’s your secret?’” — SETH MEYERS“I’ll bet he’s really regretting holding that press conference with a trash can full of shredded evidence.” — SETH MEYERS“Can someone check if there’s bottle service at Rikers?” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (More Eric Adams Edition)“New York Mayor Eric Adams was indicted yesterday on federal criminal charges, and that distant laughter you hear is coming from every rat in New York City: ‘[imitating rat] You thought you was gonna take us out? Now what, wise guy?’” — SETH MEYERS“Fellow Democrats are calling on him to resign, whereas Republicans are urging him to run for governor of North Carolina.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, Eric Adams was indicted yesterday on federal criminal charges. Oh, please let his little robot cop do the arrest. It’ll be like when Allison Williams realized she shouldn’t have built M3gan.” — SETH MEYERS“Now, to be fair, Adams is, of course, innocent until proven guilty — although it would be a lot easier to believe he wasn’t doing crimes if he didn’t dress like a gangster from ‘Guys & Dolls.’” — DESI LYDIC“It’s a sad day in New York City when foreign nations are bribing the mayor to rush permits. That is the mob’s job, OK? Those should be American bribes!” — DESI LYDICThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert harmonized with the country singer Chris Stapleton on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“We really did consider each other brother and sister, even though I might have had a small crush on her as well, which was weird,” John Francis Daley said of his relationship with Linda Cardellini.Chris Haston/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal, via Getty ImagesPaul Feig, Judd Apatow, and several cast and crew members reflect on the sleeper hit status of “Freaks and Geeks” as the show celebrates its 25th anniversary. More

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      Desi Lydic Ridicules Trump for Demanding Harris’s ‘Burger Certificate’

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      “This isn’t the kind of thing you would lie about,” Lydic said. “It’s not like sex with a porn star while your wife is pregnant.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Salty BehaviorAt a rally this week, former President Donald Trump continued to question Vice President Kamala Harris’s experience of working at a McDonald’s in her youth.Desi Lydic called it “ridiculous that Trump is asking to see Kamala’s burger certificate.”“This isn’t the kind of thing you would lie about. It’s not like sex with a porn star while your wife is pregnant.” — DESI LYDIC“But look, I get why he’s suspicious — if she had ever worked at any McDonald’s between the years 1960 and last week, he probably would have seen her. Or maybe this whole thing is just a ploy for him to get free food: ‘You worked at McDonald’s? Prove it. Make me seven Big Macs!’” — DESI LYDIC“So, Trump’s new conspiracy theory is that Kamala Harris never worked at McDonald’s when she was young, which to him is basically stolen valor: ‘How dare you disrespect our men and women in uniform. Those people served with honor and with extra ketchup packets if you ask.’” — DESI LYDIC“At the same rally, Trump also claimed that Vice President Kamala Harris lied about working at a McDonald’s and said that he would go to the restaurant chain in the next two weeks to see, ‘what her job really wasn’t like.’ And even — even if she can provide proof that she worked there — he’s still probably going to go to McDonald’s in the next two weeks.” — SETH MEYERS“Did Trump just talk himself into getting hungry? ‘She never worked over the piping hot fries, so crispy and salty, each bite a perfect — we should go to McDonald’s. Let’s go to McDonald’s.’” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Golden Guys Edition)“Tonight was the second episode of ‘The Golden Bachelorette.’ It was pretty slow. The first hour was just the remaining guys in the house watching the new ‘Matlock’ reboot.” — JIMMY FALLON“Tonight, the golden guys had to decide who’d sleep on the top bunk, which was not as easy as it sounds. Some of them snore, some of them have bad knees, one of them sleeps naked, and they all wake up a lot of times to go pee. So there a lot of logistics going into putting five guys in one bedroom. They’re lined up outside the men’s room like it’s a Lakers game at 4 a.m.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Desi Lydic: Donald Trump ‘Really Knows How to Flatter a Lady’

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      The “Daily Show” host said the former president had been so unpopular with women that he was now trying to turn on “the old Trump charm.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Old Trump Charm’Former President Donald Trump continued to relay his plans to “protect” women at a rally in Pennsylvania on Monday, saying that women are “poorer” and “more stressed and depressed” than they were four years ago.On Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Desi Lydic said that Trump had been so unpopular with women that he now had to turn on “the old Trump charm.”“Maybe it’s because of his legally adjudicated record of sexual assault; maybe he forgot their birthdays — it’s hard to say.” — DESI LYDIC“Oh, that is the perfect way to appeal to any woman. There’s no better way to start a first date than saying: ‘Diane, I am your protector. I want to be your protector. You will no longer be abandoned, lonely or scared. I will be with you 24 hours a day, seven days a week, looking at you. I’ll never let you out of my sight. Oh, you need to go to the bathroom? OK. I’ll wait. Waitress? I want to protect you.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Uh, I’m actually meeting someone here. I have a boyfriend. Thank you so much, though.” — DESI LYDIC“I love how he’s acknowledging that we’re stressed out, as though he’s not the one stressing us out. This is like Boeing being like, ‘Weird how people seem so freaked out about air travel these days.’ “ — DESI LYDIC“You really know how to flatter a lady. Please tell me more about the bags under my eyes.” — DESI LYDIC“Although, it’s not true that all women are poorer. E. Jean Carroll seems to be doing pretty well.” — DESI LYDIC“But Trump is a master marketer. That’s how you sell things to women: You convince them they have a problem, and then you say, ‘Here, buy these vagina gummies.’ And yes, in this analogy, Trump is the vagina gummy.” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden’s Last Stand Edition)“Earlier today, President Biden attended the General Assembly and delivered his final U.N. address. Biden called on nations to band together amid world conflicts and growing concerns over China’s influence. Then he added, ‘Or do whatever you want. What the hell do I care? I don’t care anymore.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He warned his fellow leaders to ‘never forget some things are more important than staying in power,’ which got a huge laugh from the Russian delegation.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden’s address was a big deal. It’s the most important speech he’s delivered in front of a 1990s kitchen backsplash.” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, New York City officials actually said drivers should expect the slowest traffic of the year. Yeah, you know traffic is slow when even Biden is like, ‘You know, I’m just going to get out and walk.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More