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      Late Night Remembers Norm Macdonald

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      Seth Meyers, James Corden and Jimmy Fallon paid tribute to the stand-up comic and former “Saturday Night Live” cast member on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Late-Night LegendThe comedian Norm Macdonald died on Tuesday, and a few late-night hosts caught the news in time to honor the frequent guest and former “Saturday Night Live” cast member.Seth Meyers called the loss of Macdonald tragic, saying, “I do not think that Norm would want to hear anything sentimental.” Still, Meyers shared some of his favorite Macdonald quips and what he had learned from watching him anchor “Weekend Update.”“And also, he loved, or I should say he just didn’t care, if he was bombing. If he thought the jokes were good, he had exactly as much fun telling them to a dead audience than to one who appreciated them. And I think for so many of us, we came up watching Norm, and we thought that you were on the inside with him when you were watching him tell these jokes that you thought were great, and no one in the room thought was good and you just felt this connection to him — and that ability to just stare into an audience, unblinkingly telling the jokes that — that you believed in.” — SETH MEYERSJimmy Fallon called Macdonald one of his comedy idols — “a comic’s comic” — reciting a bit from Macdonald’s early stand-up sets he’d memorized.“He’s just one of the greatest comedians ever, and, God, we’re going to miss him. He was a friend of the show — family, really, to us.” — JIMMY FALLONJames Corden hailed Macdonald as “perhaps the single greatest guest in the history of late-night television.”“Norm Macdonald passed away today, far too soon, after a nine-year battle with cancer; a battle Norm never told anybody about, because all Norm ever wanted to do was to make us laugh, and he was absolutely brilliant at it. There was nobody quite like him.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Side Effects Edition)“After she announced that she has not received the coronavirus vaccine, rapper Nicki Minaj tweeted yesterday that a friend of her cousin received the shot and became impotent after, quote, ‘his testicles became swollen.’ Which is pretty shocking, because when I got the shot, it was in my arm.” — SETH MEYERS“I can’t believe I have to say this, but doctors agree that Covid vaccines do not cause swollen testicles. But to be fair to Dr. Minaj, everyone knows there’s no source more reliable than your extended family’s acquaintances in another country.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Her report comes straight from ‘The New England Journal of my cousin’s friend in Trinidad.’ Just check out this week’s study, ‘I heard his girlfriend got pregnant from a hot tub.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Can we talk a moment about this poor guy. Think about it: He’s minding his own business with his swollen testicles in Trinidad and because his best friend happens to be cousins with Nicki Minaj — now the whole world knows that he’s impotent, he got dumped and he’s got giant testicles. He must be so mad at his friend.” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean that poor guy — single, swollen and everyone is asking them if he can hook them up with Nicki Minaj tickets.” — TREVOR NOAH“And for this friend, hate to say it, if your testicles swell up, the question isn’t ‘Did you get a vaccine recently?’ it’s ‘What have you been doing to your balls?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“By the way, if anyone can track down this friend of Nicki’s cousin, I would really like to talk to him — I have questions.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Broadway cast of “Tina — The Tina Turner Musical” performed “Private Dancer” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightNew “Dancing With the Stars” cast member Jojo Siwa will be on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutFrom left, Alexia Landeau, Elisabeth Shue, Sarah Jones and Julie Delpy in a scene from “On the Verge.”NetflixThe French actress Julie Delpy created and stars in the new Netflix series “On the Verge,” a comedy following four middle-age friends in Los Angeles. More

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      Rudy Giuliani’s Rowdy 9/11 Speech Leaves Late-Night Hosts Reeling

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      ‘I’m not saying Rudy was drunk, but that’s usually when guys from Brooklyn start to imitate the queen of England,’ Seth Meyers said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘What Is He Doing?’This weekend’s 20th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks would not appear to be very good fodder for lighthearted late-night humor. But that was until Rudy Giuliani got involved.On Saturday, Giuliani turned a speech commemorating the occasion into a wandering, unfunny but still-comic monologue. He impersonated Queen Elizabeth II and reminisced awkwardly about his run-ins with Prince Andrew.Trevor Noah was one of many late-night hosts who responded with baffled amusement.“You know your speech went off the rails when people watching it are like: ‘I wish this guy would talk more about 9/11. What is he doing?’” — TREVOR NOAHOn “Late Night,” Seth Meyers said there was reason to agree with the commentators who suggested that Giuliani was not in full command of his faculties.“I’m not saying Rudy was drunk, but that’s usually when guys from Brooklyn start to imitate the queen of England.” — SETH MEYERS“I guess Rudy can add this tape to his reel of impressions if he ever auditions for ‘America’s Not Talent.’” — SETH MEYERSTaco Bell EnvironmentalismTaco Bell recently started a program that aims to help customers recycle the plastic from used sauce packets by having them mail those packets back.Noah said the idea deserved points for creativity but probably wouldn’t actually do much to help the environment.“This idea has all sorts of problems with it. For one thing, people who eat at Taco Bell don’t care about the environment. I mean, they don’t even care about their own bodies.” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, this is a weird idea, but what did you expect? Coming up with weird ideas is Taco Bell’s whole thing. This is a place that will still wrap a soft shell around a hard shell and wrap that inside a Dorito’s chip — which is delicious, but you really think their idea to save the environment is going to make sense?” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (M.T.A. Edition)“At the Washington Football Team’s season opener, a pipe at the stadium burst over a group of fans, and some people said it might have been sewage. I don’t know; take a look. [Shows footage] Well, that’s a good omen for the season, you know? Washington is still looking for a team name; it’s too bad the Browns are already taken.” — JIMMY FALLON“An investigation concluded last week that a recent M.T.A. subway outage that shut down 83 trains was caused by someone accidentally flipping a power switch. Said one man, ‘So thaaaat’s what it does.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingDr. Anthony Fauci talked to Noah about combating vaccine hesitancy and what he called the need for vaccine mandates.Jimmy Kimmel’s wife, Molly McNearney, came up with a skit that allows her to declutter their house at the same time: It’s called “Win Jimmy’s Crap.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJustice Stephen Breyer, who at 83 has been fending off calls from fellow liberals to step down, will talk to Stephen Colbert on Tuesday. Will Colbert hold his feet to the fire?Also, Check This OutThe Metropolitan Opera performed Verdi’s Requiem on Saturday, the company’s first time playing inside its theater since March 2020.Richard Termine/Met OperaAnthony Tommasini, The Times’s chief classical music critic, gave an enthusiastic review to the first performance at the Metropolitan Opera since the start of the coronavirus pandemic: a staging on Saturday of Verdi’s Requiem in commemoration of 9/11. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Herd Immunity Doesn’t Mean Taking Horse Medicine

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      “Vaxxed and waxed. He wants his mailmen smooth,” Kimmel joked of President Biden’s new vaccine requirements for federal employees on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Variants Are Coming!’On Thursday, President Biden announced new vaccine requirements for federal employees and contractors, health care workers and those working at companies with more than 100 employees.“And, of course, a lot of people are upset about this,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “They don’t want to be told what to do — not even by the doctors who they will eventually rush to to beg for help when they get sick.”“Vaxxed and waxed. He wants his mailmen smooth.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This really does feel like when your dad stops threatening and actually does turn the car around.” — JAMES CORDEN“But you know, there’s a reason pandemic movies end when the hero finds the cure for the disease. There’s no ‘Contagion’ sequel with Matt Damon running around trying to convince everyone to take the vaccine — they just take the vaccine. And thank God, by the way — he sucks. We don’t need more movies with him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Vaccine mandates have a proud history in this country. During a smallpox outbreak in 1777, George Washington required his troops to be immunized. And who can forget the immortal words of Paul Revere: ‘One if by J.&J., two if by Pfizer. The variants are coming! The variants are coming!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But, still, I don’t know, like a quarter of the country thinks herd immunity means they should be taking livestock medicine instead of the vaccination.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden said it’s time to stop horsing around — and then he was like, ‘No, seriously, stop taking horse medicine.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (She’s Back Edition)“The Biden administration yesterday removed 18 military academy board members that were appointed by Trump, including haunted Dollar Store Barbie doll Kellyanne Conway. Which, there’s a name I haven’t said in a while: Kellyanne Conway. I’m not gonna say it any more times. I’ve seen ‘Candyman.’ I know what might happen.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Why were there still any Trump holdovers anyway? That’s like moving into a rent-controlled apartment the last guy died in and keeping all the expired whitefish in the refrigerator.” — SETH MEYERS“And why was Kellyanne Conway on an Air Force advisory board? If she ever flew an F-16 or what she probably calls an F-17, I guess we would end up in a ravine, her standing on a tarmac in a parachute claiming it was a successful landing.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert spoke with Steve Burns from “Blues Clues,” who went viral this week with a heartfelt video that addressed his abrupt departure from the beloved children’s show close to 20 years ago.Also, Check This OutSeth Meyers was among Kelly Clarkson’s guests during a string of New York episodes taped at Jazz at Lincoln Center.Weiss Eubanks/NBCAfter two years of her daytime show, much of that during a pandemic, Kelly Clarkson has hit her stride as a talk show host. More

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      Samantha Bee Blasts Supreme Court for Allowing the Texas Abortion Ban

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      The “Full Frontal” host wasn’t happy about the state’s law, which outlaws abortion after six weeks, or the high court’s decision not to block it.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Taking Issue With TexasSamantha Bee lashed out on Wednesday at the Supreme Court’s conservative majority, after the court refused to block a law that has effectively ended legal abortion in Texas.The Texas law effectively outlaws abortion after six weeks of pregnancy — earlier than many women realize they are pregnant.“Technically, you’re six weeks pregnant just two weeks after you miss a period — which is a [beep] nightmare, because periods can be irregular for all kinds of reasons. I skipped a period when I started this job and at the 2018 People’s Choice Awards when Willem Dafoe looked at me too hard. (That was before he became Willem Dafriend.)” — SAMANTHA BEEBee quoted from Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s ardent dissent, in which the justice said her colleagues had refused “to enjoin a flagrantly unconstitutional law” and instead “opted to bury their heads in the sand.”“Damn, I haven’t seen heard a Supreme Court justice speak that passionately about a case since Sandra Day O’Connor’s decision on Kramer v. Kramer. She chose ‘Seinfeld’ Kramer! She said the laughter he brings is almost unconstitutional.” — SAMANTHA BEEReacting to a tweet from Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota suggesting that her state might emulate the Texas law, Bee paused on Noem’s mention of South Dakota’s official “unborn child advocate.” Then the host put up a picture (rather unflattering) of Mark Miller, the man who holds that position, and delivered a few blows that were aimed at his face but still felt below the belt.“It’s weird that he’s pro-life because with a face like that, I would want to be dead.” — SAMANTHA BEE“You can’t be pro-birth if you look like you broke out of a cloning pod before you finished.” — SAMANTHA BEE“We need to fight this oppressive law, and all the others that come after it, because no person should be forced to give birth — or look into this man’s face. I just missed my period again.” — SAMANTHA BEEHaving Fun With Virus FrustrationOn “The Tonight Show,” when Jimmy Fallon touched on President Biden’s attempts to control the coronavirus pandemic, his jokes were tinged with cynicism.“Tomorrow, President Biden is giving a major speech on the next phase of his pandemic response. Americans said they can’t wait to hear the speech, and then crowded into a bar for tomorrow’s N.F.L. kickoff.” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden will lay out a six-pronged strategy. And apparently one prong is building a border wall between the U.S. and Florida.” — JIMMY FALLONJimmy Kimmel sounded like he was equally fed up with antimaskers.“Maybe they should have a separate airline for people who won’t wear a mask: JetFlu.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Delta Air Lines Edition)“A 4-year-old girl named Scarlett just climbed her 48th mountain peak. That’s great, but she doesn’t have Instagram, so did it really happen?” — JIMMY FALLON“The C.E.O. of the airline Delta has revealed he’s still refusing to call it the Delta variant. That’s important, I can totally understand that, because being associated with a communicable disease is not great for business. That’s why stores no longer carry the tasty Syphilis Jam. You remember their motto: ‘Nothing spreads like Syphilis!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers offered his own criticisms of the Supreme Court’s decision on the Texas abortion law.Will exposure therapy help Guillermo overcome a lifelong fear of snakes?What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightOn “The Late Show” on Thursday, Sarah Paulson will talk about playing Linda Tripp on the new FX series “Impeachment: American Crime Story,” and the country singer Kacey Musgraves will perform a song from her new album, “Star-Crossed.”Also, Check This OutLindsey Buckingham’s self-titled solo album, his first since being ousted from Fleetwood Mac in 2018, is due this month.Chantal Anderson for The New York TimesLindsey Buckingham is once again an ex-member of Fleetwood Mac, after his long-simmering tensions with Stevie Nicks bubbled over (not for the first time). He has a new solo album out. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Skewers ‘Pan-dimwits’ Taking Horse Dewormer

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      “Meanwhile, these poor horses are like: ‘Hey, I have worms — I need that stuff. There are worms in my butt, do you understand?’” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Still Horsing AroundJimmy Kimmel returned to his show on Tuesday after taking the summer off.“I leave you people alone for two months, you start taking horse worm medicine?” the host said.Kimmel offered a name for people who have taken the medicine, ivermectin, as a supposed cure for Covid-19: “pan-dimwits.” There is no evidence that the drug is effective against Covid, and the health authorities have warned that it could pose a serious danger to humans.“So you will probably still get Covid, but on the bright side, you could win the Preakness.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Poison-control centers across the country have seen a spike in calls from people taking livestock medicine to fight the coronavirus, but they won’t take the vaccine, which is crazy. It’s like if you’re a vegan and you’re like, ‘No, I don’t want a hamburger — give me that can of Alpo instead.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Worst of all, it tastes yucky. Luckily, the internet is loaded with advice on how to make it more palatable, including mixing it with jellies or eating it as a sandwich. Or throw it on your roast beef — technically, it is horsey sauce.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In fact, it says right on the label: ‘For a horse’s [expletive].’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One of the reasons these Sea Biscuits are opting for ivermectin is because they don’t trust ‘big pharma.’ Which is fine, I guess, except for the fact that ivermectin is made by Merck, which is the fourth-largest pharmaceutical company in the world.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Listen, if a pharmaceutical company says, ‘Please don’t take the drug we’re selling,’ you should probably listen to them. Or you could just go with a TikTok posted by a disgraced veterinarian instead.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Meanwhile, these poor horses are like, ‘Hey, I have worms — I need that stuff. There are worms in my butt, do you understand?’”— JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Worst Butt Dial Ever Edition)“And finally, I read that surgeons successfully removed a Nokia cellphone from a man’s body after he swallowed it whole. The kids were so embarrassed. They’re like, ‘Dad, please swallow an iPhone next time.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He swallowed a Nokia phone. More like Choke-ia phone.” — JAMES CORDEN“His phone got wet and he needed to put it in rice immediately, but he had eaten all of his rice.” — JAMES CORDEN“Even worse, after four days, the man still had zero notifications.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s why I always buy the extra-long 10-foot charge cord, always. I know it’s a little bit more, but you’re happy you paid that money when you’re like, ‘Got it!’”— JAMES CORDEN“When reached for a comment, the man said he didn’t swallow it — it was just the worst butt dial ever.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAmber Ruffin challenged Texas on its new abortion ban and made the case for a federally funded pedicure on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightHolland Taylor (“The Chair”) will sit down with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSarah Paulson, left, as Linda Tripp and Beanie Feldstein as Monica Lewinsky in “Impeachment: American Crime Story” on FX.Antony Platt/FX“American Crime Story: Impeachment” focuses less on the White House and more on the women who were involved with and affected by the scandal. More

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      Seth Meyers Calls Out Fox News for Promoting Ivermectin

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      “Normally, when you hear the phrase ‘horse pills,’ you think it’s a euphemism, but in this case, it’s literal horse pills,” Meyers said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Hold Your Horses On Thursday’s “Late Night,” Seth Meyers scolded Fox News for promoting the use of Ivermectin, an anti-parasitic drug commonly given to livestock, as a cure for Covid.“Normally, when you hear the phrase ‘horse pills,’ you think it’s a euphemism, but in this case, it’s literal horse pills,” Meyers said.“Any time someone tries to sell you a ‘miracle drug’ that ‘they’ don’t want you to know about, you should be suspicious.” — SETH MEYERS“I gotta say, when I first heard that Fox News was pushing Ivermectin, I knew it was gonna be bad, but I was not expecting it to be horse dewormer. It sounds like the name of a drug they give supersoldiers in a Paul Verhoeven movie to turn them into Robocops.” — SETH MEYERS“You know someone at the company that made Ivermectin once said, ‘Hey, should we put “not for people” on the horse pill labels?’ and someone else said, ‘There’s a picture of a horse on the bottle, it’s fine!’” — SETH MEYERS“First, it was hydroxychloroquine, then it was bleach, powerful lights, now it’s horse dewormer? I’m honestly terrified to imagine what’s next. One day, we’re gonna wake up and Brian Kilmeade’s gonna be telling people you can cure Covid by eating kibble and sleeping in a bed of kitty litter: [imitating Kilmeade] ‘Works for me. that’s why I blink as often as a sphinx.’” — SETH MEYERS“You know who the real victims are here? The horses who can’t get their worm pills.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pocket Rocket Edition)“You know how Jeff Bezos went up into space last month with his cute little cowboy hat? Well, now they’re selling mini-replicas of his rocket. Yes, there it is — are we allowed to show that on T.V.?” — RuPaul, guest-hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“Yep, there it is, anxiously waiting to probe your galaxy.” — JIMMY FALLON“It measures 10 inches from the base to the tip. Yeah, I’ve heard that before. I’ll be the judge of that.” — RuPaul“And this is the best part, I’m not making this up, the rocket is appropriately priced at 69 bucks.” — RuPaul“Seriously, I don’t even think you could show that on OnlyFans.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“Jimmy Kimmel Live” took to the streets of Hollywood to quiz kids on “Karens.”Also, Check This OutYahya Abdul-Mateen II in Nia DaCosta’s “Candyman.”Universal PicturesNia DaCosta’s new take on “Candyman” revisits the scene of the crime with Colman Domingo in the starring role. More

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      Seth Meyers Wants Trump to Stop Complimenting the Taliban

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      “You don’t have to give the Taliban credit for anything — they’re the Taliban!” Meyers said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Very ComplimentarySeth Meyers reminded viewers Wednesday just how involved Donald Trump was with the war in Afghanistan, despite the former president insisting he would have handled things differently than President Biden. Meyers said Trump “was going out of his way to compliment the Taliban on their fighting and negotiating skills.”“You don’t have to give the Taliban credit for anything — they’re the Taliban!” Meyers said.“It’s especially insane to call them ‘good negotiators,’ like they’re trying to talk down a used-car salesman.” — SETH MEYERS“Does Trump think if he’s nice to the Taliban, they’ll hang out with him? [imitating Trump] ‘Great fighters, great negotiators, and great, great golfers. Abdul Ghani Baradar, horrible guy, but I saw him eagle a par five from the rough. We played in a foursome with Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau. And you wanna talk about warring factions, those two do not like each other!’” — SETH MEYERS“I mean, thank god this idiot wasn’t the chief of police in San Francisco during the Zodiac killings. [imitating Trump] ‘Bad guy, nasty guy, but you’ve got to give him credit for one thing: beautiful, beautiful penmanship.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pumpkin Spice Latte Edition)“And finally, as part of their new fall menu, Starbucks has added a new drink, the apple crisp macchiato. In response, the pumpkin spice latte was like, ‘Oh, it’s on.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And in gayer news, buy me some Crocs and Taylor Swift on vinyl, because baby, I’m a basic [expletive] who loves pumpkin spice latte!” — RuPaul, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“Yes, I’m a diva diva pumpkin eater.” — RuPaul“Face it: pumpkin spice is here to stay. It’s rich, it’s naughty, just like the vocals of Ariana Grande. Oh, uh, but make mine an Ariana Venti, honey, because I can take it.” — RuPaulThe Bits Worth Watching“The Other Two” star Molly Shannon told Jimmy Fallon how Nick Jonas convinced her to finally join Instagram.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightMichael Shannon will talk about “Nine Perfect Strangers” on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutGael García Bernal, left, Maribel Verdú and Diego Luna in a scene from “Y Tu Mamá También.”IFC FilmsThe director and stars of “Y Tu Mamá También” reflect on the landmark film 20 years after its release. More

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      Jimmy Fallon: Americans Care More About New ‘Spider-Man’ Than Covid’s Origins

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      “In the trailer, Spider-Man visits Dr. Strange and asks him to turn back time. Then President Biden shows up and asks for the same thing,” Fallon joked on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Keeping Up With CovidLate night gave a few Covid-related updates on Tuesday night, including the U.S. intelligence agencies’ announcement that they had finished their review of the virus’s origins.“Then the Americans said, ‘Hold that thought — there’s a new ‘Spider-Man’ trailer, y’all,’” Jimmy Fallon joked. “In the trailer, Spider-Man visits Dr. Strange and asks him to turn back time. Then President Biden shows up and asks for the same thing.” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, guys, as I mentioned, today the report on the origins of Covid was completed, and an unclassified version will soon be released to the public. And like everything with this pandemic, I’m sure Americans will fully accept the truth and they’ll put all conspiracy theories to rest.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, the unclassified report will come out in a few days, or sooner if Sony accidentally leaks it early.” — JIMMY FALLON, referring to the leaked “Spider-Man” trailer“President Biden yesterday encouraged Americans who have been waiting for the F.D.A. to approve the Pfizer coronavirus vaccine to go out and get the shot. But I don’t know, something tells me they’re going to find a way to move the goal posts again: [imitating anti-vaxxer] ‘Sure, it’s F.D.A.-approved, but is it farm to table, something that’s suddenly very important to me?’” — SETH MEYERS“Following the announcement that the F.D.A. has officially approved the Pfizer vaccine, President Biden is now calling on companies in the private sector to adopt a shot mandate. If you ask me, this is just further proof of a giant conspiracy between the government and the corporate elite to infringe on Americans’ God-given right to get infected by a deadly virus.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Formerly Known as the Pfizer Vaccine Edition)“Following the full approval of Pfizer’s coronavirus vaccine, the company revealed it would start marketing the drug under the name Comirnaty, so now people will start referring to the Pfizer vaccine as ‘the Pfizer vaccine.’” — SETH MEYERS“It’s too late for a rebrand. This is like when your friend comes back from vacation and is like, ‘Actually, everyone calls me Turbo now.’” — SETH MEYERS“Listen, if they really want people to take it, they should have just called it White Claw.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Jimmy Kimmel Live” guest host, Niall Horan, announced a new name for his fan base: “Horan Dogs.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe country music artist Chris Stapleton will perform on Wednesday’s “Late Night With Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutRosie Perez with Kaley Cuoco in “The Flight Attendant.” Perez used her own experiences with menopause to shape her performance.Colin Hutton/HBO Max, via Associated PressAfter a lengthy film career, Rosie Perez is up for her first Emmy with her supporting role in “The Flight Attendant.” More