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    Late Night Responds to Fox News’s Ouster of Tucker Carlson

    Seth Meyers joked it would be funny if Fox News “replaced him at 8 p.m. with the new green M&M.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.With ‘Fox and Friends’ Like TheseFox News announced on Monday that its star host Tucker Carlson was out, effective immediately.Seth Meyers joked it would be funny if the network “replaced him at 8 p.m. with the new green M&M.”“And, honestly, with ‘Fox and Friends’ like these, who needs enemies?” — JAMES CORDEN“Fox really knows how to disappear someone. I’m shocked they didn’t just go with this as their statement: ‘Tucker Carlson has not now and has never been employed by this network. We don’t know who that is, and we’ve never even heard the name. Tune in tonight at 8 p.m. for our nightly newscast hosted, as always, by Fox News stalwart, white, blond lady, blue dress.’” — SETH MEYERS“Now, apparently, Tucker was forced out by Rupert Murdoch, which is pretty ironic. Tucker spent so many years saying that Mexican people were coming to take our jobs away. Turns out, he should have been worrying about Australians.” — DESI LYDIC, guest host of “The Daily Show”“They say Rupert Murdoch made this decision, so this is more like an episode of ‘Succession’ than last night’s episode of ‘Succession.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And we still don’t know exactly what led Rupert Murdoch to fire his network’s biggest star, but, reportedly, he was concerned over Carlson’s conspiracy theories about Jan. 6. So let this be a lesson to everybody: If you try to topple America’s democracy, you can stay on TV for two more years and that’s it!” — DESI LYDIC“At least when he had a show, we knew where he was. It’s creepy trying to fall asleep with a ventriloquist’s dummy in your room, but it’s way creepier when you wake up and it’s not there anymore.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (When Life Hands You Lemons Edition)“By the way, Tucker Carlson isn’t the only cable news anchor to get the ax. CNN just fired Don Lemon after 17 New Year’s Eve blackouts — sorry, years of service.” — DESI LYDIC“Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson — for those of you who don’t follow cable news, this is like if Ronald McDonald and the Burger King got fired on the same day.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Fox knows their viewers are going to miss Tucker, so until they find a replacement, his show will be hosted by a golf shirt with the collars popped.” — JIMMY FALLON“Some people aren’t sure what led to his exit, but Fox says they can think of almost of a billion reasons why.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Tucker Carlson is out. When he heard, Vladimir Putin was like, ‘Damn, we need a new P.R. guy.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Tucker Carlson has now worked at and left MSNBC, CNN and Fox News. He’s running out of options now. Like soon he’s just going to be on the Weather Channel, saying that hurricanes are caused by drag queens.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingRomeo Santos, the “king of bachata,” performed his songs “Solo Conmigo” and “Suegra” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Natalie Portman will take a seat on the couch across from James Corden on Tuesday’s “The Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutLizzy Caplan and Joshua Jackson in “Fatal Attraction,” which updates the 1980s erotic thriller and relocates the story to Los Angeles.Michael Moriatis/Paramount+Lizzy Caplan takes on the lethally dangerous role first made famous by Glenn Close in the new Paramount+ television adaptation of the film “Fatal Attraction.” More

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    Late Night Laughs at Elon Musk’s SpaceX Explosion

    “When people saw the rocket light up and start smoking, they were like, ‘All right, happy 4/20, everybody!’” Jimmy Fallon joked on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Light It UpSpaceX and its chief executive, Elon Musk, saw the company’s Starship rocket explode on Thursday, just four minutes after launch.“Yeah at first, when people saw the rocket light up and start smoking, they were like, ‘All right, happy 4/20, everybody!’” Jimmy Fallon joked.“SpaceX is now saying they triggered the explosion, but originally when it happened, they called it a ‘rapid unscheduled disassembly.’ That sounds like what celebrities say when they’re getting divorced: ‘Our marriage is going through a rapid unscheduled disassembly — please respect our privacy at this time.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I have to hand it to him — ‘rapid unscheduled disassembly’ is one hell of a way to describe your rocket blowing up. That’s up there with ‘wardrobe malfunction’ and ‘conscious uncoupling.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Right after the giant explosion, Elon was like, ‘Oh, crap, did we launch a Tesla by mistake?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Elon’s defenders were quick to point out that this was only a test and the rocket was actually supposed to explode, which is definitely what I would say if my $3 billion rocket exploded.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Expensive Overcompensation Edition)“And to the haters who said Musk couldn’t possibly destroy something faster than Twitter, joke’s on you.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“They’re calling this the most expensive penis overcompensation in American history.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, it took off fast, was flying high and then, all of a sudden, it exploded — kind of like Ron DeSantis’s presidential campaign.” — JIMMY FALLON“That disassembly cost SpaceX $3 billion, which, you could defame four different voting machine companies for that much money.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingDanny Trejo joined Stephen Colbert to make some recipes from his new cookbook, “Trejo’s Cantina,” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutLittle Richard in 1956. The rock ‘n’ roll trailblazer is the subject of the documentary “Little Richard: I Am Everything.”Pictorial Press Ltd/Alamy Stock Photo/Magnolia PicturesThe new documentary “Little Richard: I Am Everything” presents the early rock ’n’ roll performer as a man of many contradictions. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Chides Fox News for Not Covering Its Lawsuit Settlement

    Kimmel joked the lack of coverage had to be an oversight: “Man, oh, man, is Rupert Murdoch going to be mad when he finds out about this!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Willful IgnoranceFox News and Dominion’s settlement continued to dominate the news cycle on Wednesday — everywhere except on Fox News.Jimmy Kimmel joked the omission was surely an “oversight,” saying he was curious “how Fox News was going to cover the story about themselves” and was unable to find anything about it on their home page.“Nothing about the huge payment for lying to their viewers.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Man, oh, man, is Rupert Murdoch going to be mad when he finds out about this!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This massive settlement was the number one story on every single cable news network except one. Take a guess.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Dominion also has a defamation case against Rudy Giuliani, also for $1.3 billion. That’s a lot, man. They are suing Rudy for everything he’s got, which at this point, I believe, is a stolen CVS shopping cart full of empty merlot bottles and a jar full of spare teeth.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Look, I’m happy for Dominion, but Dominion was not the only injured party here. What about, you know, our faith in democracy? There are people who will not trust elections for the rest of their lives, and I have to talk to those people! I’m going to be arguing with them at Trump rallies every four years for the rest of my life. And you know what? I’m not naïve. I didn’t expect this lawsuit to restore this country’s faith in elections or even for me to get a little cashola, no. But I was at least hoping to get a couple of weeks of joy out of seeing Sean Hannity up there on the stand, sweating through his shirt like a beached manatee. Would that have saved democracy? I don’t know. But it would have been nice to see.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Punchiest Punchlines (Lie-ability Edition)“This is a huge hit to Fox’s bottom line, although it’s not clear if insurance will cover some of Fox’s liability. Of course, Fox has to have liability insurance to insure their ability to lie.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Although, I don’t know who would insure them. Maybe Frauders: [singing] ‘We are Frauders, insuring Fox was dumb, dumb, dumb!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Two hours after the settlement was announced he can’t confirm how much Fox News paid? If only this Fox News anchor had some source at Fox News!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Fox News host Howie Kurtz saying he couldn’t confirm the settlement amountThe Bits Worth WatchingMichelle Obama surprised patrons of a Midtown bookstore with Jimmy Fallon’s help on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightIndie rock trio boygenius will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutFrank Ocean performing at The Parklife Festival in 2017. Ocean has backed out of his second Coachella performance this weekend.Visionhaus#GP/Corbis via Getty ImagesFrank Ocean pulled out of Coachella this weekend, citing a leg injury that led to a disappointing headlining performance last Sunday. More

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    Stephen Colbert Rues the Fox Settlement

    “I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” Colbert said of Fox News settling the defamation suit brought by Dominion Voting Systems.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trial and ErrorDominion Voting Systems settled its defamation lawsuit against Fox News on Tuesday, with the conservative news network agreeing to pay $787.5 million to avoid a trial.“I want my trial!” Stephen Colbert bemoaned on Tuesday.“I want it! You were supposed to provide me six weeks of delicious content! I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I guess it’s satisfying for Dominion that Rupey had to fork over a pile of cash, but that does nothing for our democracy. What we need is Fox News personalities to look straight into the camera, admit that they lied over and over again about the 2020 election, and then hurl themselves into Mount Doom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I am glad that there is some accountability here. But still, I am pretty disappointed we are not going to get a trial, because all the Fox anchors would have been forced to testify. It would have been like the ‘Seinfeld’ finale, but instead of — instead of soup Nazis, it’s just Nazis.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Since Fox is going to have to pay nearly a billion dollars, they’ll need to implement cost-cutting measures. Sadly, they have to fire Brian Kilmeade’s reading tutor, Jeanine Pirro has to switch to the cheap box of wine, development on a third Doocy has been halted. They’re going to have to switch from Jesse Watters to tap waters. And of course, they’re going to have to put down Sean Hannity.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Settling Up Edition)“You could tell Fox was stressed about the trial ‘cause they spent the day chugging Bud Light.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off.” — JIMMY KIMMEL on the settlement“Immediately after the settlement, Fox issued a statement that said, ‘This settlement reflects Fox’s commitment to the highest journalistic standards.’ They’re already lying in their statement about lying.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a fitting lesson for the world from the American justice system. Yes, it is — there’s a price to pay for lying to the American people, and if you can afford that price, go for it!” — JAMES CORDEN“Fox News has to pay Dominion nearly $800 million. It’s so much money, they’ve already started selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper took “Daily Show” cameras inside the world’s largest gun show.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMichelle Obama will appear on “The Tonight Show” on Wednesday.Also, Check This Out“I wanted to be considered for a range of roles,” Chita Rivera writes in her new memoir, “and for the most part I succeeded.” Daniel Dorsa for The New York TimesThe 90-year-old singer-dancer Chita Rivera reflects on her life and career in “Chita: A Memoir.” More

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    Late Night Skewers Clarence Thomas for Not Disclosing Gifts

    “The Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas has “taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Best of FriendsJustice Clarence Thomas is under fire for unreported gifts, trips and other financial transactions with the conservative donor Harlan Crow.On Monday, the “Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas is “the Supreme Court justice who’s taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”“Last week, we learned that Thomas had secretly accepted luxury trips from right-wing billionaire Harlan Crow. And that’s his actual name, not his ‘Game of Thrones’ cosplay character.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Crow is an arch-conservative who’s known for his assorted Nazi memorabilia and garden full of statues of the 20th century’s worst despots. It’s so impressive that they put him on the cover of ‘Hitler Homes and Goebbels.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“On top of that, Clarence Thomas’s mom is still living in that house rent-free, and Harlan Crow is paying for thousands of dollars of renovations. All of which Clarence Thomas should have disclosed by law — although, in his defense, the law is complicated, and he is only a Supreme Court justice.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Justice Thomas claims that he did not have to report all these gifts because he and Crow are such close buds. But this must be one hell of a friendship because on Thursday we learned that, back in 2014, Harlan Crow bought property from Clarence Thomas, including the house where Thomas’s elderly mother was living. That might give him a little influence.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Crow claims there’s nothing corrupt about this, saying, ‘My intention is to one day create a public museum at the Thomas home.’ Just a reminder, Harlan Crow has Hitler’s napkins and a statue of Stalin in his garden. So building you a museum? Not a huge compliment.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Love is Blind Edition)“Netflix is apologizing after last night’s ‘Love is Blind’ live reunion was delayed due to technical issues. Yeah, even though they couldn’t see the reunion, ‘Love is Blind’ fans still managed to fall in love with it anyway.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingFreddie Highmore, a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” shared horror stories from previous talk show experiences (though he would not name names).What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightFresh from her Coachella performance, the rapper Glorilla will perform Tuesday on Jimmy Kimmel.Also, Check This OutJessica Hecht, left, said she and her “Summer, 1976” castmate, Laura Linney, right, share a “clarity of purpose.” She added: “I’m interested in plays that talk about intimacy.”Thea Traff for The New York TimesLaura Linney and Jessica Hecht play intensely intimate friends in David Auburn’s new play, “Summer, 1976.” More

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    Seth Meyers Defends New York City From Marjorie Taylor Greene

    “I don’t go to her hometown and say nasty things about it, although I don’t know where she’s from,” Meyers said. “I’m assuming the videotape from ‘The Ring’?”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Start Spreading the NewsIn a recent interview with Tucker Carlson, Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene referred to New York City as “disgusting,” “filthy,” “repulsive” and “a terrible place.”“How dare you say that in the city that is home to Fox News headquarters!” Seth Meyers joked on Thursday.“Only Republicans would go to liberal cities and [expletive] on them — it doesn’t work the other way around. I don’t go to her hometown and say nasty things about it, although I don’t know where she’s from. I’m assuming the videotape from ‘The Ring’?”— SETH MEYERS“After attending a rally in Manhattan in support of former President Trump on Tuesday, Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene criticized New York during an interview with Fox News host Tucker Carlson and said, ‘I think it’s a very terrible place.’ But the joke’s on you, Marjorie, because once you think that, you’re officially a New Yorker.” — SETH MEYERS“After visiting New York to protest Trump’s arrest, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene called the city ‘a terrible place that is disgusting, filthy and repulsive.’ But don’t worry, things got a lot better here after she left.” — JIMMY FALLON“The only people who are allowed to [expletive] on New York — the only people — are New Yorkers, because we love it and we love how mad it makes us. It’s not an easy city to live in — you fight and claw and you finally get the job of your dreams, and you move into a New York City apartment, and you give a little fist pump and you say, ‘Yes!’ and then your neighbor pounds on the wall and screams, ‘Keep the [expletive] noise down!’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Old C.T. Edition)“I am sure this billionaire Republican didn’t want to influence nobody. He just — no, no, he — no! He just wanted to go on vacation with Clarence Thomas, you know, because we all know that Clarence Thomas is clearly a bag of fun. Just be straight up! Who wouldn’t want to pull up on Miami Beach with old C.T.?” — ROY WOOD JR., on Justice Clarence Thomas’s reported failure to disclose that he’d accepted luxury trips from a billionaire conservative donor“Here’s my question: If you’re going to buy a Supreme Court justice, why would you spend all that money on luxury yachts and planes for Clarence Thomas? You could have bought Brett Kavanaugh for a bottle of Jager and a Southwest boarding pass.” — ROY WOOD JR.The Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon invited a few talented dogs to show off their sports-related talents on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutPhoto Illustration: The New York Times; Photo: Noam Galai/Getty Images for Tibet House USThe indie rock singers Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus talk about their collaborative side project, boygenius, on this week’s Popcast! More

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    Stephen Colbert on Trump: ‘Business Fraud Is His Brand’

    Colbert recapped Donald Trump’s post-arraignment return to Mar-a-Lago, “where he held an angry rally for all his cult members.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Return of Florida ManFormer President Donald Trump returned to Mar-a-Lago on Tuesday after being arrested and arraigned on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records.“And you know what? I’m not sure if that’s fair,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday. “Business fraud is his brand.”“And after his arraignment, he hauled his ass to LaGuardia, got on his private jet, flew to Mar-a-Lago, where he held an angry rally for all his cult members.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Then it was time for the former president to take the stage and inspire a nation with a six-minute list of unresolved grievances. Well, come on, what do you expect? You’re listening to a 76-year-old man in Florida.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So he was arrested and released, and we never got a mug shot. But that did not stop the ex-president’s campaign from making one up and selling it on a T-shirt that says, ‘Not guilty.’ OK, but if he’s not guilty, why did you put him in a mug shot? Just sell a poster that says, ‘Wanted! for following too many laws.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Back So Soon?’ Edition)“Meanwhile, after his arraignment, Trump flew back home to Florida and held a rally in Mar-a-Lago. It’s always nice to have a traditional post-arrest reception.” — JIMMY FALLON“The whole staff looked at him like, ‘Back so soon?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former President Trump spoke last night at Mar-a-Lago following his arraignment and said, ‘I never thought anything like this could happen in America.’ Honestly, neither did I. I mean, you got away with so many crimes for so long. Trump getting arrested was like ‘Avatar 2’ — I just figured it was never going to happen. Then it finally did, and I was like, ‘You know what? Worth the wait.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper visited a Trump indictment rally in New York for Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightMolly Shannon will appear on Thursday’s “Tonight Show” ahead of hosting this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live.”Also, Check This OutDante ZaballaA dozen musicians, scholars and critics weighed in on the best music of the jazz pianist Mary Lou Williams. More

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    Late Night Celebrates Donald Trump’s History-Making Arrest

    “It is a great day to be in New York City — well, unless you’re one person,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump Makes History“It is a great day to be in New York City — well, unless you’re one person,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Tuesday night. Stephen Colbert said the day was “70 degrees and sunny with a chance of jail.”Former President Donald Trump’s arraignment was the talk of late night, with hosts noting he was the first U.S. president ever to be arrested and face criminal charges.“Trump made history. The only good news for Trump: In Florida, all the history books have been thrown out, so it’s all right.” — JIMMY FALLON“That guy was the president of the country. If you asked for the manager at Best Buy and that guy came over, you’d say, ‘No, the manager.’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, former President Trump was arraigned today in Manhattan. And, like anyone else, Trump is presumed innocent until he outright confesses on Truth Social.” — SETH MEYERS“At that point, of course, he was read his Miranda rights. Then he claimed Miranda wasn’t even his type, asked her to sign an N.D.A. and got indicted again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Once he got inside the courtroom, Trump was formally charged with 34 counts of falsifying business records in the first degree, which are class E felonies. Yep, Trump was like, [imitating Trump] ‘Of course they were very classy felonies. Some would say the classiest of felonies.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And he alone. Ain’t none of your boys around no more — you gave them all pardons. And everybody know you don’t pardon all of your partners — you got to leave one in jail so you have somebody to talk to.” — ROY WOOD JR., guest host of ‘The Daily Show”The Punchiest Punchlines (Trump in Court Edition)“That’s him in court. Look at his face. This is the first time in his life anything’s ever dawned on him.” — SETH MEYERS, on a photo of Trump in the courtroom“Look at how sad Trump looks. My man look like somebody told him his dog died or that Mike Pence is still alive.” — ROY WOOD JR.“He looks like he’s watching another table at Applebee’s get their food first.” — JIMMY FALLON“Looks like he had to sit through two unskippable ads on YouTube.” — JIMMY FALLON“He looks like Ben Affleck at the Grammys.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe former host Jon Stewart popped by “The Daily Show” to talk about Trump’s arrest.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightCecily Strong, who stars in “Schmigadoon!” will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutChucky, the sinister doll behind a horror franchise, is the subject of the documentary “Living With Chucky.”Cinedigm/ScreamBoxThe documentary “Living With Chucky” takes a personal look at the legacy of one of horror’s most lasting and loved villains. More