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    Samantha Bee Welcomes America’s ‘Brand-New Very Old President’

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightSamantha Bee Welcomes America’s ‘Brand-New Very Old President’Bee and other hosts were relieved to see the Trump years finally end. “So that’s what it feels like when you’re not grinding your teeth,” Seth Meyers said.The Biden era has begun, and Samantha Bee couldn’t be happier. Credit…TBSJan. 21, 2021, 3:09 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘I Can See Colors Again’Late-night hosts were all too happy on Wednesday night to celebrate Inauguration Day, or what Seth Meyers referred to as “the catharsis of seeing a person who was not Donald Trump become the president of the United States.”President Biden received rave reviews from hosts like Samantha Bee, who was thrilled to announce, “We finally have a brand-new very old president!”“That’s right — Donald Trump is no longer the president of the United States. And look, this isn’t going to solve all our problems, but it will remove a big one. If you’re addicted to heroin, gambling and prostitutes and you only quit heroin, that’s still a huge step.” — SETH MEYERS“Wow, all right. So that’s what it feels like when you’re not grinding your teeth. I forgot, and I think — yeah, I can see colors again.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s a little like getting rid of the last guy at a party. You spent four years yawning and stretching, and hinting that he should get out, and when he finally leaves, it is a relief, until you remember you still have to clean up all his puke and he, like, puked everywhere.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s so nice to have a president with a soul again. The previous one sold his to the devil and didn’t even get Georgia out of the deal.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s like we’ve been on a ship that’s been in a storm for four years, and we just stepped onto dry land. I want to kiss the ground, but, you know, Covid, so I’m just going to — I’m just going to fist-bump it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And I’ll tell you something, I don’t know about America yet, but I feel great again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“After four years of struggling just to slow down Trump’s malicious agenda, Democrats are in an unimaginable position: We can finally do things that help people.” — SAMANTHA BEE“To paraphrase Michelle Obama, ‘When they go low, we go J. Lo’ — and we did.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today this country showed the world that there is no MyPillow large enough to smother our democracy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, I remember going back to the day Trump was inaugurated, such a terrible day, and wondering, can our country even survive four years of this? And now we know the answer: not really. Just barely.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a bright sunny day in Washington, and now we have a president who knows not to stare directly at the sun.” — JIMMY FALLON“Right before the Bidens came out, something very auspicious happened: It started snowing. It’s an inauguration miracle! [singing to the tune of ‘Let It Snow’] Oh, the last guy in charge was frightful, but the new one seems delightful. And now there’s four years to go; President Joe, President Joe, President Joe.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I have to imagine this is what it feels like when the oncologist calls and tells you the tumor is benign.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Seriously, anyone else feel like they just lost 280 pounds?” — JIMMY FALLON“It feels like the country is back. Sure, the GPS took us on some crazy back roads for the last four years, but now we’re back on Main Street, and we can tell people we were lost.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Have a Good Life Edition)“I know a lot of you were expecting Trump’s speech to be weird and inappropriate. Well, you were 100 percent right.” — JIMMY FALLON“‘Have a good life?’ That’s not a presidential farewell. That’s what your high school crush writes in your yearbook as a final twist of the knife: ‘I guess we won’t be seeing each other with me going to Bryn Mawr and you staying here to chase your kickboxing dreams so, have a good life.’” — SETH MEYERS“Former President Trump concluded his remarks at this morning’s send-off at Joint Base Andrews by telling the crowd, quote, ‘We’ll see you soon.’ ‘We were about to say the same thing,’ said the Southern District of New York.” — SETH MEYERS“Although I do like how he said he’ll ‘be back in some form,’ because my man knows you gotta leave on a cliffhanger.” — TREVOR NOAH“That’s ominous. What form? A Demogorgon? A Horcrux? Maybe he’ll come back as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“‘In some form?’ What does that mean? [imitating Trump] ‘Whenever you see a black plastic bag stuck in a tree, or a vulture on the shoulder of the highway pulling the guts out of a dead raccoon, that’ll be me.’” — SETH MEYERS“OK, well at least he made it sound as creepy as possible.” — JAMES CORDEN“This is like the end of a bad movie where the villain says he will return, and you are like, ‘I don’t think this one is getting a sequel.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Who wrote this speech, Voldemort?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingA few friends helped Bee with a socially distanced crowd surf to mark the inauguration, including Jane Fonda, Cynthia Erivo and Catherine O’Hara.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightSenator Bernie Sanders, whose wool mittens quickly got their own hashtag, will talk to Seth Meyers about his Inauguration Day experience on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutMatthew Teague in Fairhope, Ala.: “I wanted my wife’s legacy and memory to be one of enormous respect.”Credit…Akasha Rabut for The New York TimesAfter Hollywood optioned his devastating essay about his dying wife, the journalist Matthew Teague vowed the movie would do right by her. The reviews landed like a gut punch.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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    Lil Wayne, Kodak Black and Others Pardoned by Trump

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    Election Results: Biden Wins

    Electoral College Votes

    Congress Defies Mob

    Georgia Runoff Results

    Democrats Win Senate Control

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    Late Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.“You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off,’” Jimmy Fallon said of Trump’s final few days in office.Credit…NBCJan. 19, 2021, 1:35 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Dreams DeferredLate night celebrated Martin Luther King’s Birthday at the top of their shows by holding up the civil rights activist as an example of a great leader, as opposed to the departing president.“First of all, before anything else, Happy Martin Luther King Day, everybody, when we celebrate a great leader who led a march on Washington that didn’t end with me having to learn about someone named Q Shaman.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“If Dr. King were alive today, he would probably watch the news and go, ‘Let me be more specific about this dream I had.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL[embedded content]“You know, it’s days like today we should all be grateful that Trump can’t tweet.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I’d like to think he’d have a good laugh if he knew the F.B.I. had to spend this federal holiday tracking down and arresting thousands of white supremacists. He did have a second dream, and that was it.” — SETH MEYERSMost of the rest of their monologues were focused on President Trump’s last few days in office.“Well guys, there’s only 36 hours left in Trump’s presidency. You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, just 36 hours left. You can tell time is running out because Trump is now signing pardons with both hands.” — JIMMY FALLON“With Trump, 36 hours still seems like a long time, right? It’s like if someone said, ‘You’re only going to be on fire for 36 more hours.’ That’s a long time. ‘You’re only going to be in this M.R.I. tube for another 36 hours. Try not to move.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Forty-eight hours from now Donald and Malaria, Melania — whoops — will be back home, asleep in separate bedrooms at Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump is reportedly planning on leaving the White House on Wednesday morning for Florida. So he’s not changing his routine at all.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump’s leaving office with his lowest approval rating yet — it’s down to 29 percent. Which, for someone who incited a violent insurrection to overthrow the government isn’t bad. I mean, honestly, what would he have to do to get below 20 percent — eat the Constitution?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump has the lowest average approval rating of any president in the modern era. The only one to leave office with a lower rating than that was Kevin Spacey.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Pardons Edition)“Sources say that tomorrow, on his last full day in office, the president is prepared to issue around 100 pardons and commutations. Why so many? Well, there’s reportedly a lucrative market for pardons. Finally, POTUS is running a business that makes money.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s calling it ‘The Olive Pardon.’ When you’re here, you’re a crime family.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Trump tomorrow is reportedly planning to issue at least 100 pardons and commutations. He said he wanted to give so many so that it would be even more hilarious when Giuliani doesn’t get one.” — SETH MEYERS“You can actually bet on who Trump will pardon, for real. And you know who the odds-on favorite is celebrity-wise? Lil Wayne, Trump’s buddy. They bonded over a mutual love of hip-hop and cough syrup.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During his last hours in office, Trump is planning to issue pardons, but it’s reported it’s not going to be a pardon to himself or his family members. Trump is the only president in history who decides not to pardon himself and you immediately think, ‘What’s he up to?’” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m not surprised Trump didn’t pardon himself today because then he would be liable for whatever he does tomorrow.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump won’t pardon his family either. Actually it’s kind of sweet — Trump told his kids, ‘When I go down for tax fraud, I want you all to be in prison with me.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“Conan” provided a sneak peek at Trump’s “Pardonpalooza.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Aubrey Plaza will pop by “Conan” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutJavicia Leslie’s role in the CW’s “Batwoman” is her first lead part in a major TV series, and she performed many of her own stunts. “I love being up, like, 50 feet in the air,” she said.Credit…CWJavicia Leslie is the first-ever Black live-action Batwoman as the titular character on the second season of the CW series.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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    Late Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy,” Seth Meyers said.“Guy spent all that time flying to state capitals, rounding up witnesses from the bars at TGI Fridays and Buffalo Wild Wings, and now Trump won’t even reimburse him,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday.Credit…NBCJan. 15, 2021, 2:12 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sparing No ExpensesAs his term nears its end, President Trump is said to have refused to pay Rudy Giuliani, his lawyer, the day rate of $20,000 that he asked for. The president also reportedly demanded to personally oversee the approval of reimbursements of Giuliani’s travel expenses.“This is like the end of ‘The Sixth Sense,’ but instead of Bruce Willis realizing he’s been dead the whole time, it’s Donald Trump realizing that Rudy has the whole time been a bad lawyer,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday’s “Late Night.”“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy. Guy spent all that time flying to state capitals, rounding up witnesses from the bars at TGI Friday’s and Buffalo Wild Wings, and now Trump won’t even reimburse him. [Imitating Trump] ‘So, you owe me for the time I called you into the hearing. It went over on minutes, because Rudy, you’re not friends and you’re not family, so those minutes are costly.’” — SETH MEYERS“And poor Rudy needed that money for the hair transplant: [Imitating Giuliani] ‘Please, boss, I’m begging you. Don’t make me go back to the mud water!’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump doesn’t want to pay that. He could’ve hired Gary Busey for a hundred bucks to do the same thing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Sucks for Giuliani. Now he’s going to have to make money on the side, bottling Uncle Rudy’s Original Skull Syrup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Though I could understand wanting to take a closer look at Rudy’s expenses, given that so far, he’s submitted receipts for ‘Delta business-class brand plastic bottle vodka,’ ‘Uber XL T-shirt that I slept in behind the racetrack’ and ‘pay-per-view porn: “Oops! All Cousins!”’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They say Trump isn’t even taking Rudy’s calls anymore. Now the only way for Rudy to get through is if someone says his name three times in a mirror.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I wonder who leaked this story. Maybe it was Giuliani’s head.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But this is what Trump does. Even if you don’t jump ship, sooner or later he’ll throw you off it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These two were inseparable, and now it’s come to this. It feels like Dr. Frankenstein breaking up with Igor.” — JIMMY FALLON“And you know Trump’s upset when he’s starting to make careful decisions with his money.” — JAMES CORDEN“This is like the end of ‘Jurassic Park’ when the raptors and the T-rex just turn on each other at the end.” — JAMES CORDEN“Trump says he is only ready to pay for two seasons’ worth of total landscaping.” — JAMES CORDEN“Rudy seemed blindsided by the decision, although when hair dye is constantly leaking into your eyes, it’s hard to see anything coming.” — JIMMY FALLON“I cannot wait until this somehow ends with Trump hiring Rudy Giuliani to sue Rudy Giuliani.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s great. The president’s spending his last days in office going over receipts like he’s Janis from accounting: [imitating Trump] ‘Did you stay two nights at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping? We’re not paying for that. That’s not a hotel.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even if Trump doesn’t pay him back, at least Rudy racked up a ton of frequent-liar miles.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Moving Edition)“Tell you what, I would sign up for a streaming service that showed nothing but Trump’s stuff being moved out of the White House. I don’t know how much I would pay a month, but it’s a lot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s still president for five more days, but that place is emptier than a rest-stop Cinnabon at 3 a.m.” — SETH MEYERS“Love to imagine Trump piling all his stuff into crates: his oversized suits, his ties that are so long that no matter how you pack them, a little bit pokes out.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump’s giving stuff away like the sun’s about to set on his weekend garage sale. He’s like, ‘You know what? It’s getting late — just take it. I was only going to charge a dime for it.’” — JIMMY FALLON“An unidentified trio seemed to have made off with a bust of Abraham Lincoln. Is it possible that Trump is looting the White House before he goes? He’s going to use that as a hood ornament on his golf cart.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And I sure hope someone is watching him pack because he’s definitely going to try to steal stuff. ‘Sir, why is the bust of Lincoln being packed away?’ ‘Uh, what? No, this is mine from home. I brought it. It’s not actually Lincoln — it’s my uncle, um, uh, Beard Trump.’” — SETH MEYERS“Later, another guy was seen carrying out Mike Pence. He was like, ‘Hey, put me down! I’m not a statue. Mother! Mother!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSenator Bernie Sanders weighed in on recent events in Washington while appearing on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMichael Cimino in the Hulu series “Love, Victor,” which features a queer lead title character.Credit…Gilles Mingasson/Hulu, via Associated PressL.G.B.T.Q. representation on television has decreased for the first time in five years.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More